Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Zodiac Killer Strikes Again: Part I

They said if you voted for Barrack Hussein Obama the stars would realign; and behold! They have! Another campaign promise kept, another campaign contributor repaid.

 07_full_600x400 The new 13th Zodiac sign, Ophiuchus,

Of course no one envisioned that the realignment would result in both Lady M’s and Big Guy’s own signs of the Zodiac changing, butt they did.

And just look what happened; Big Guy, born August 4, used to be a mighty Leo. Now he has to trade his Lion sign in

3 Leo, sign of the mighty Lion (not to be confused with the hapless Detroit Lions mascot)

because now he’s a  - CANCER!

9 Cancer, sign of the Crab


Talk about your unintended consequences.That’s something his opponents have been accusing him of from the gitgo.  Anyway you look at it, swapping a lion in on a crab just doesn’t seem like a trade-up. And to make it worse, the Prostate Cancer Awareness group has also appropriated the Cancer sign for their own purposes,

cancer-prostate copy Prostate Cancer Awareness Ribbon

and there’s bound to be some confusion come the next presidential election.

On the other hand, Lady M (whose birthday is coming up, so be sure to send your good wishes) born January 17, gets to trade in her goat (Capricorn) designation


for that of Centaur, the Archer (Sagittarius).


That seems a pretty good trade to me. Although we were all pretty comfortable with Lady M as a Capricorn because the women of Capricorn seemed to be of the fashion forward set.

ladies of capricorn copy

And Capricorn’s symbol, the goat, seemed to reflect  Lady M’s demeanor pretty accurately. Plus, goats are known for eating practically anything. So we had that going for us.


And while both Lady M and I sort of like the Sagittarian concept and symbols, she thinks it might be a little too, umm, Sarah Palin, for her tastes.

women of sagittarius copy Ladies of Sagittarius:You don’t want to get in their crosshairs.

Butt poor Big Guy: it just never ends for him. Just when I thought we were done with it, we’re right back in the middle of that whole birth certificate issue again. And this time, in addition to the Birthers questioning the location(s) of BO’s birth, we’re going to have a bunch of astrologers questioning the birth date as well.

Here’s the lowdown: Some obscure astrologer (Parke Kunkle – what kind of a name is that? And how is he related to George Soros?) arbitrarily announces the rearrangement of the night sky, and voila! – everything we thought we knew about MO and BO is out the window. The Christian Science Monitor provides a nice summary as well as a history and and source of the controversy.

The short-short version: The Ancient Babylonians (aka Persians) suffered from an irrational fear of the number 13 - which happened to be the actual number of constellations the sun passed each year - so they decided not to tell anyone about the one with an unpronounceable name, Ophiuchus, which sounds more like a virus than a Zodiac sign, and set the Zodiac at 12. Another great Muslim contribution to civilization.

In order to make room for the previously ignored constellation Ophiuchus, everyone else had to be shoved aside and realigned – sort of an Affirmative Action Plan for the night sky.

I’m working on an analysis of the characteristics of the old signs and the new signs for Lady M and Big Guy, to determine if their Zodiac sign reassignment makes sense or not . Be sure to check back tomorrow for my conclusions.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx @ DirectorBlue

Friday, January 14, 2011

Examining the Examiner



I know that some of you might consider the Examiner a second tier newser - butt this cub Tucson Vintage Fashion reporter – now she’s ready for prime time. I’m thinking maybe Ms.NBC.

Check out her article from yesterday:

“Michelle Obama came to Tucson yesterday with her husband, President Barack Obama, sporting an elegant, traditional outfit highlighted with the loveliest twists of vintage style.”


afwon  Elegant, traditional, twisted


“The two flew into Tucson on Air Force one for Tucson's "Together We Thrive: Tucson and America" event held on the University of Arizona Campus in McKale center.” 

sweater vest Coming in for a landing

“The event was planned as a memorial service for the fallen members of the Tucson community that were killed last Saturday, January 8, 2011, at the tragic shooting spree that took place in front of a Safeway grocery store. McKale center held its max of about 14,000 people as the president and other guests spoke brave and inspiring words to the community of Tucson, the citizens of America and viewers around the world.”

creepy inspiring

Brave, Inspiring

“ Michelle Obama patiently and tearfully listened to those on stage as she sat between her husband and Mark Kelly, the husband of recovering Rep. Gabrielle Giffords.”

cripes “Are you there God? It’s me, Michelle” from Cripes Suzette


“Rather than sporting an outfit of mourning to the memorial service, Michelle Obama wore a cream-colored sweater with a beautiful, dark, leafy, paisley-like design upon it, reminiscent of the '40s and '50s. The design swirled across the front of her cardigan had only one simple button at the top.”

empathetic face

Dark, leafy, swirly and very tiny

“The pattern seemed to be there to simply catch the eye and add a touch of elegance. She wore it over a dark top with a knee-length purple skirt that also seemed to be from styles of the past.”


Seen in the past at the SOTU

 i3OPuTdJ2xxDIeNRo44uLo Congresswoman Shot Obama

Outgoing wind is somewhat better than incoming (h/t UnSkinnyMinni and MJ)

“Most viewers probably did not notice her perfectly fitting, simple black shoes, pointed at the toe, because they were too busy watching the service and her interactions with her husband and support of Mark Kelly.” 

whoops our spanx are showingmcl5  Perfect fit, except for the toes 


                                    Authenticmark kelly       

“The pearls around her neck added a vintage touch of class and dignity to her ensemble, which is difficult to pull off if you're not aged. As a young woman, Michelle Obama's pearls added sophistication and grace to her appearance in a unique way.”


 What is that unique smell?

“Her outfit seemed to fit the occasion perfectly, representing a sad day with dark undertones, yet also a moment of hope, color and light. Each piece came together as if planned, to beautifully remind us of the past, yet make us hopeful for the future.”

  queen_elizabeth_barack_obama_michelle_obama_2 sar_palin

An outfit from the past that likewise perfectly fit the occasion; reminds us of a hopeful future

“Michelle Obama looked just as we would expect the first woman to -- elegant, graceful, polished and dignified, yet she presented us with so much more... all without saying a word.”

whoops our spanx are showing “She presented us with so much more...” Whoops! Our Spanx are showing!

My, you really don’t get  much for $150,000 worth of tuition in journalism school any more, do you?

Butt maybe she could get a job at Mrs.O. Or maybe she is Mrs. O!

Linked By: Clarice’s Pieces @ American Thinker

Thursday, January 13, 2011

And the Oscar goes to…

OK PEOPLE! Let’s give it up for our very own Homecoming Planning Committee for planning the best-est memorial service in the history of the Union!  Paul Wellstone is turning over in his grave.

Arranging for that raucous university crowd was genius! The memorial t-shirts on the chairs: inspired.

tshirt memorials

The Native American-Mexican medicine man: the height of chi-chi diversity. And the beer concession was a nice nod to the spirit of capitalism. Although it was probably not necessary, as most of the kids were already buzzed when they got here. Butt you’ve got to hand it to the event planners: they thought of everything, including a main act.

Ladies and gentlemen! Let’s put our hands together for the President of the United States of America!!! Boo-yah!!!!!


Solemnity and sobriety at memorial services honoring innocent victims of a heinous crime is so-oooo pre-9/11. Apparently.

Even so, this memorial service was a bit peculiar, beginning with Dr. Carlos Gonzalez opening – what? - prayer? blessing? statement? Then there was the valley girl from Legally Blonde who introduced Daniel Hernandez, and the distraction of the pep club rally going on in the bleachers, and the biblical readings by Bruno and Ricky: disconcerting because I can assure you neither of them has ever cracked open a bible on their own time (separation of church and state, you know).

Even Big Guy’s speech  eulogy speech was a bit - strange.


First of all, Big Guy wrote it himself. And it showed. And TOTUS refused to scroll the text. He said there was some mix up, he was expecting the text for a eulogy of the victims, and somehow a campaign speech got uploaded to his hard drive. Unable to resolve the cognitive conflict, his system just shut down. This left Big Guy to read from his own handwritten notes.

Fortunately BO’s “memorial” was a huge hit with the U of A crowd and the media. The orator-in-chief hit it out of the park. I could tell it was a home run when even the haters at Fox were tripping over themselves to say nice things about Big Guy’s tone and tenor. I guess this is the sort of thing they were awed by:

"Rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame, let us use this occasion to expand our moral imaginations, to listen to each other more carefully, to sharpen our instincts for empathy, and remind ourselves of all the ways that our hopes and dreams are bound together."

Frankly, I have no idea what that means. Butt, that’s why I’m MOTUS and he’s POTUS.

I did understand the parts he “borrowed” from Sarah Palin’s earlier remarks – about how we’re free to debate passionately, and that blaming rancorous discourse for acts of evil is fool’s play.  Butt oddly, although they said essentially the same thing, Sarah is still being accused in the press of being divisive while Big Guy is being praised as the introspective and compassionate “Healer-in-Chief.” I hope it’s not just because she’s a girl.

Oh, and speaking of little girls, Lady M went dressed as one again.

sweater vest Full dirndle with inverted pleats, 6 inch patent leather belt and mini-me cardi. Oh, and pearls. Cute.

Butt we still need to work on that unhappy little girl face when things don’t go our way, don’t we?


and we need to try to remember, when we sit, we’re not really a little girl.


So, maybe that purple coat that covers up everything lurking below is looking a little better to you on the return trip?


Anyway, the memorial closed with a moment of silence. And none too soon.

The smartest man in the room was spotted shortly there-after:

smartest man in the room

Oh, I nearly forgot: vote now for your choice for best performance in a Memorial Service:

pouty puss please

Polls close at midnight. I have to get some rest.

UPDATE: Must read via Larwyn, who’s constantly on the prowl. Politicians as Our New High-Priests

We may be seeing the “new normal” of  a religious ethos being born before our very eyes:   Government becomes the new church.



Larwyn's Linx: Liberals Seek Ban on Metaphors in Wake of Shooting


Mommy Life: Obama in Tuscon


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A National Moment of Heeling

"We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions."
— Ronald Reagan quote of the day

I sure hope this is going to be a class event. The O’s will be arriving in Tucson today for a memorial ceremony dubbed: "Together We Thrive: Tucson and America." Sounds more like a fundraiser than a memorial. They let the new junior staffers organize this event, and their last assignment was Homecoming so I’m just hoping for no floats.

The event, expected to last around an hour, will include a Native American blessing, a moment of silence, a poetry reading and the presentation of a chain featuring messages from members of the public. Gov. Jan Brewer, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder and Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano are also scheduled to speak.

With all the politicians in front of a mic with a crisis to take advantage of, I understand there’s an over-under pool going for that estimated one hour time frame.

The memorial will be held at the McKale Center at the University of Arizona.

For safety and security reasons, certain items are prohibited, including laptop computers, sharp objects and metal or plastic drink bottles. The public is asked to not bring backpacks, bags or large purses. No posters or signs of any size will be permitted. No food or drink can be carried in. Small cameras will be permitted inside.

In the event the 14,000-seat McKale Center reaches capacity, overflow seating will be available in Arizona Stadium, where seats on the stadium's east side will be open. Video of the memorial will be shown on the scoreboard's big screen.

The operative instruction: dress to be frisked. And get used to it. Which reminds me, expect Bruno and Ricky to be covering the un-presidential part of Big Guy’s speech for him. That clears the way for him to give a speech that will focus on national heeling healing.
 Holder Napolitano Oh, and Ex-Speaker Nan will be there. Even though the Congresswoman voted against her just a week ago. That’s how big of a person she is.pelosi3

Over the weekend we dispatched all of the king’s henchmen to stir up the outrage over the vitriolic rhetoric of the right that caused this tragedy. So we’re going to try to keep politics out of today’s event. It will be hard since that’s all we know.

Personally, I don’t know why we’re discussing the evils of rancorous political debate when the real issue is what can we do with our nutty fellow citizens (no, I’m not talking about the R-words).

Why is it so hard to incarcerate people who are clearly a danger to themselves and others before they act it out? Gerard has an excellent handle on it, butt allow me to provide the short answer: because that would be judgmental. And we don’t believe in being judgmental any more. Unless, of course, you’re a member of the vast Right-wing conspiracy. Then you are naturally judged to be a racist, sexist, hater homophobe who should be shut up and locked away forever. Maybe in Gitmo.

By all accounts this evening’s memorial address will be a defining moment for Big Guy’s presidency, so he’s “writing it himself®.” I’m sure it will be Reagan-esque. Or, if not, at least Clinton-esqe.

channeling howard dean

Lady M is packin’ her hanky. Expect a good performance.


h/t Larwyn for Gerard’s linky

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


We interrupt your afternoon browsing to bring you this late breaking report from DNN Cub Reporter MOTUS. Despite full-on SS storm trooper embargo, DNN cub-cub reporter Little Mo snags this picture of Carla Bruni-Sarkozy and Mr. Carla arriving at the Big White.


Reliable sources report that Carla, always the gracious guest, came to Maison Blanche bearing a gift satchel of snacks for Lady M.

UPDATE: THIS JUST IN: The Carla and Mr. Carla photo snagged by Little Mo and posted above was “edited” by unknown sources. MOTUS scanned her hard drive and found the original “unedited” photo, surprisingly showing Lady M escorting the Sarkozys into Big White.


Big Sideshot H/T Anonymouse

From the Big White front door, this is DNN cub reporter MOTUS and cub-cub reporter Little Mo. Back to you Chet.

cub reporter-full copyMo cub reporter-88-ICON

A Crisis Avoided, a Crisis Exploited

Yesterday was a series of respectful, low-key events.

First our moment of silence:

moment of silence

veterens day military-coat


As you can see, Lady M wore a semi-military coat, as we first showcased in our Fall Fashion Notebook, only minus the pockets and with the belt built-in.






We continued low-key thru lunch with the lovely Carla, thus avoiding a crisis in photo-journalism:

Monday's great photo-op that never happened: Michelle Obama and French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. The glamorous duo had a private lunch together in the White House while their husbands held a bilateral meeting, but the visit was kept very low-key in the wake of the Tucson shootings.

I wonder how long we’re going to be able to use this excuse to impose the photo embargo when we don’t feel like squeezing into our containment systems? The Secret Service did a pretty thorough sweep of the lunch room. Even little Mo got shuttled out, and he’s usually under everyone’s radar.

Butt the ladies enjoyed a nice little lunch of shaved veggie thingies on watercress while discussing the politics of fashion.

I loaded up my language pack and was looking forward to enjoying a mellifluous conversation in French. Butt I forgot that French wasn’t included in the price of either of Lady M’s ivy league college educations. That’s OK, Carla’s French accent was still fun to listen to.

Meanwhile, the boys were talking business:

There was a lot of finger-pointing,


fist pounding,

hold me back  

holding back,

holding back

and, finally, sharing of secrets. I hope it wasn’t about the first ladies. I think Nicky' has lips as loose as Dezi’s.


The two of them didn’t really accomplish much, because Big Guy was pretty intimidated by Nicky’s Finance and Economics Minister, Christine Lagarde:

 christine lagarde finance and economy minister alg_resize_rahm-emanuel

Christine Lagarde and Toes

He’s really wishing he hadn’t sent Rhambo back to Chicago, where he stored all his sweaters in the basement.

The chattering class was very busy yesterday. Eleanor Clift at The Daily Beast was ruminating on the First Ladies. I don’t know how accurate she was on her description of Carla, butt she so nailed Lady M:

Each has had to adapt in her own way to the reflected glory of marriage to a president…

Michelle Obama was well along on her career path as a top lawyer when she was assigned to mentor Barack Obama, and a former administration official who worked closely with the first lady says that early on, she had bouts of resentment over the realization that her life will never again be the same. It must also be maddening for her to stay clear of any visible role in policymaking when she is so smart and competent. But she seems to have made peace with it, carving out issues of work-life balance and taking a leadership role in combating childhood obesity.

And Eleanor even mentioned me in her article! “Each has had to adapt in her own way to the reflected glory of marriage to a president.”  That was so nice of her. So I won’t bother to correct her on that part about Lady M having “made peace with it.”

Meanwhile, Jonathan Alter over at what I thought was the defunct Newsweek, offered Big Guy some suggestions on how to not let this current crisis go to waste: Can Obama Turn Tragedy into Triumph?

This horrific event offers the president a chance to show leadership qualities that he’s inexplicably hidden away in some blind trust…

…Conservatives like to argue that these are isolated incidents carried out by lunatics and therefore carry no big lessons (unless the perpetrator is Muslim, in which case it’s terrorism); liberals view them as opportunities to address various social ills. Obama is in the latter category and should act accordingly. “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste,” Rahm Emanuel famously said in 2008. The same goes for a shooting spree that gravely wounds a beloved congresswoman.

So it’s simple: just explain to the folks that conservatives are reactionary, liberals are enlightened. With all this helpful free advice, I wonder why we have so many paid advisors around here? If this approach works out for Big Guy, Jon might be given the nod as the official biographer.

Both of the O’s have cleared their schedules for today in order to fly to Arizona to follow Mr. Alter’s advice.

HMMThe O’s observe a reflective moment of silence on the South Lawn yesterday for the Arizona victims of the devil worshipping, pot-smoking, right wing psycho nut who listens to Rush Limbaugh and loves Sarah Palin.