OK PEOPLE! Let’s give it up for our very own Homecoming Planning Committee for planning the best-est memorial service in the history of the Union! Paul Wellstone is turning over in his grave.
Arranging for that raucous university crowd was genius! The memorial t-shirts on the chairs: inspired.
The Native American-Mexican medicine man: the height of chi-chi diversity. And the beer concession was a nice nod to the spirit of capitalism. Although it was probably not necessary, as most of the kids were already buzzed when they got here. Butt you’ve got to hand it to the event planners: they thought of everything, including a main act.
Ladies and gentlemen! Let’s put our hands together for the President of the United States of America!!! Boo-yah!!!!!
Solemnity and sobriety at memorial services honoring innocent victims of a heinous crime is so-oooo pre-9/11. Apparently.
Even so, this memorial service was a bit peculiar, beginning with Dr. Carlos Gonzalez opening – what? - prayer? blessing? statement? Then there was the valley girl from Legally Blonde who introduced Daniel Hernandez, and the distraction of the pep club rally going on in the bleachers, and the biblical readings by Bruno and Ricky: disconcerting because I can assure you neither of them has ever cracked open a bible on their own time (separation of church and state, you know).
Even Big Guy’s
speech eulogy speech was a bit - strange.
First of all, Big Guy wrote it himself. And it showed. And TOTUS refused to scroll the text. He said there was some mix up, he was expecting the text for a eulogy of the victims, and somehow a campaign speech got uploaded to his hard drive. Unable to resolve the cognitive conflict, his system just shut down. This left Big Guy to read from his own handwritten notes.
Fortunately BO’s “memorial” was a huge hit with the U of A crowd and the media. The orator-in-chief hit it out of the park. I could tell it was a home run when even the haters at Fox were tripping over themselves to say nice things about Big Guy’s tone and tenor. I guess this is the sort of thing they were awed by:
"Rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame, let us use this occasion to expand our moral imaginations, to listen to each other more carefully, to sharpen our instincts for empathy, and remind ourselves of all the ways that our hopes and dreams are bound together."
Frankly, I have no idea what that means. Butt, that’s why I’m MOTUS and he’s POTUS.
I did understand the parts he “borrowed” from Sarah Palin’s earlier remarks – about how we’re free to debate passionately, and that blaming rancorous discourse for acts of evil is fool’s play. Butt oddly, although they said essentially the same thing, Sarah is still being accused in the press of being divisive while Big Guy is being praised as the introspective and compassionate “Healer-in-Chief.” I hope it’s not just because she’s a girl.
Oh, and speaking of little girls, Lady M went dressed as one again.
Butt we still need to work on that unhappy little girl face when things don’t go our way, don’t we?
and we need to try to remember, when we sit, we’re not really a little girl.
So, maybe that purple coat that covers up everything lurking below is looking a little better to you on the return trip?
Anyway, the memorial closed with a moment of silence. And none too soon.
The smartest man in the room was spotted shortly there-after:
Oh, I nearly forgot: vote now for your choice for best performance in a Memorial Service:
Polls close at midnight. I have to get some rest.
We may be seeing the “new normal” of a religious ethos being born before our very eyes: Government becomes the new church.