Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Zodiac Killer Strikes Again: Part I

They said if you voted for Barrack Hussein Obama the stars would realign; and behold! They have! Another campaign promise kept, another campaign contributor repaid.

 07_full_600x400 The new 13th Zodiac sign, Ophiuchus,

Of course no one envisioned that the realignment would result in both Lady M’s and Big Guy’s own signs of the Zodiac changing, butt they did.

And just look what happened; Big Guy, born August 4, used to be a mighty Leo. Now he has to trade his Lion sign in

3 Leo, sign of the mighty Lion (not to be confused with the hapless Detroit Lions mascot)

because now he’s a  - CANCER!

9 Cancer, sign of the Crab


Talk about your unintended consequences.That’s something his opponents have been accusing him of from the gitgo.  Anyway you look at it, swapping a lion in on a crab just doesn’t seem like a trade-up. And to make it worse, the Prostate Cancer Awareness group has also appropriated the Cancer sign for their own purposes,

cancer-prostate copy Prostate Cancer Awareness Ribbon

and there’s bound to be some confusion come the next presidential election.

On the other hand, Lady M (whose birthday is coming up, so be sure to send your good wishes) born January 17, gets to trade in her goat (Capricorn) designation


for that of Centaur, the Archer (Sagittarius).


That seems a pretty good trade to me. Although we were all pretty comfortable with Lady M as a Capricorn because the women of Capricorn seemed to be of the fashion forward set.

ladies of capricorn copy

And Capricorn’s symbol, the goat, seemed to reflect  Lady M’s demeanor pretty accurately. Plus, goats are known for eating practically anything. So we had that going for us.


And while both Lady M and I sort of like the Sagittarian concept and symbols, she thinks it might be a little too, umm, Sarah Palin, for her tastes.

women of sagittarius copy Ladies of Sagittarius:You don’t want to get in their crosshairs.

Butt poor Big Guy: it just never ends for him. Just when I thought we were done with it, we’re right back in the middle of that whole birth certificate issue again. And this time, in addition to the Birthers questioning the location(s) of BO’s birth, we’re going to have a bunch of astrologers questioning the birth date as well.

Here’s the lowdown: Some obscure astrologer (Parke Kunkle – what kind of a name is that? And how is he related to George Soros?) arbitrarily announces the rearrangement of the night sky, and voila! – everything we thought we knew about MO and BO is out the window. The Christian Science Monitor provides a nice summary as well as a history and and source of the controversy.

The short-short version: The Ancient Babylonians (aka Persians) suffered from an irrational fear of the number 13 - which happened to be the actual number of constellations the sun passed each year - so they decided not to tell anyone about the one with an unpronounceable name, Ophiuchus, which sounds more like a virus than a Zodiac sign, and set the Zodiac at 12. Another great Muslim contribution to civilization.

In order to make room for the previously ignored constellation Ophiuchus, everyone else had to be shoved aside and realigned – sort of an Affirmative Action Plan for the night sky.

I’m working on an analysis of the characteristics of the old signs and the new signs for Lady M and Big Guy, to determine if their Zodiac sign reassignment makes sense or not . Be sure to check back tomorrow for my conclusions.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx @ DirectorBlue