Saturday, October 23, 2010

Could it be, Our Fate is Sealed?


I heard somewhere, probably from Dr. Phil, that all narcissists are paranoid, Now mind you, I’m not saying it’s true, or, if it is, whether it carries any import around here.

Butt what I can say – as I tried to tell you last week – Big Guy is definitely paranoid about his official POTUS seal. He’s convinced that he’s being sabotaged by stringers who are setting up the venues for his rock-star performances around the country ahead of the midterms. (We’re so touchy that the union has been ordered to fire anyone wearing t-shirts with the name “Bush” on it. This poor guy got canned for wearing a sweatshirt sporting a picture of the George H. W. Bush Air Force Carrier. Sheeze! That’s 41, not 43! You know, the guy who was president before the first Black president? Besides, I think the guy picked it up for 50 cents at Goodwill because he’d been out of work so long.)

now you don't

Anyway, Big Guy is so fearful of having his symbolic Seal take another unceremonious nosedive into oblivion that unless we are home at the Big White (where crazy glue is no longer optional) we are not taking any chances: there simply will be NO seals on our podium while we’re on the road. Because we can trust no one.

So, as is my habit, I reflect, you do the psycho-babble:

10-22 still no sealLos Angeles, Friday, 10-22. No POTUS seal.

john Kitzhaber but no seal  John Kitzhaber, Oregon (ht/ MOldishL), 10-20. Seal-less.

 looking at me looking back me but no sea orgon conv cntrl 10-20: Looking at me, looking back at me. Still no Seal.

no seal here either California, 10-22. Seal free zone.

 FireShot-  This is where the seal would be, if I could trust any of you.

 FireShot-_1 Las Vegas, yesterday. Big Guy doesn’t even trust Dingy Harry.

Apparently we won’t be seeing our POTUS Seal anywhere outside our own lair for awhile. We’re still comfortable with our internal roadies (because of the crazy glue requirements) for now.

exec order on WH initiative on Educ Excellence for Hispanics Javier Garcia home turf we have a sealso far we trust the big white staffscience fair WH homebase seal

East Room, Oct 19; Rose Garden, Oct 13,  Science Fair, East Room Oct 18

Since I’m in charge of optics for the Team, I thought I’d better propose a solution Big Guy can BELIEVE IN. Here’s something I think will work, on several levels. Since their fates are so intricately entwined, BO trusts MO (so far) with the sacred symbolic seal.


And for her part, Lady M could keep an eye on Big Guy’s drinking, smoking and eating habits while he’s on the campaign trail, and, if need be, confiscate them. There is simply no end to the sacrifices we make for the country.


Friday, October 22, 2010

I’d Rather Advertize Than Apologize

Unlike George W. Bush, Big Guy is big enough to admit his mistakes, and even to apologize.

When he took office in January 2009, the president said, his administration was so consumed by the economic crisis that it was hard to tell the public about their successes — and claim the credit. Obama added that he could have done a better job of publicly selling his accomplishments and protecting them against unfounded attacks.

“I think that one of the challenges we had two years ago is that we had to move so fast,” Obama said. “We were in such emergency mode that it was very difficult for us to spend a lot of time doing victory laps and advertising what we were doing because we were moving on to the next thing.”

“I take some responsibility for that,” he added. “Our attitude was we just have to get the policy right. We did not think about making sure we were advertising properly what was going on.

That sounds like an apology to me. Or at least what passes for an apology in my world. “I was so busy doing the work of the American people that I failed to realize that I wasn’t speaking slowly enough to explain it to you morons.”

That kind of apology is right up there with “I apologize if some of you morons misunderstood the intent of my words, and I inadvertently offended anyone…” Remember, in politics it’s all about faking sincerity.

But are you kidding me? If all we needed was a little more advertising, why on earth have we been sitting on our biggest advertising ASS-et ever?!!?

ADVERTISE OBAMA'S SUCCESSES copyObama: Newest “Broadside Advertising” client

Most of you, I’m sure, are familiar with my formerly fledgling capitalist pig venture, “Broadside Advertising.” We got a real boost from the Cordoba Victory Mosque account and another kick in our profit pants from  Big Fur Hat at iOwnTheWorld and The Radio Patriot. Oink!

Meanwhile, Big Guy is busy hugging liberal ladies on the West Coast:

 christine gregoire  patty murray seattle

Christine, Patty and Barbara – Eeewww, Pit Hug Alert!

boxer Be still my heart. Do you think Lady M  could give me some advice on taming these scary eyebrows?

Just hanging with the real folks: Eric and Cynnie Foss’ Seattle backyard. Say, that looks like Cripes Suzettes’ new living room coffee table right next to Big Guy!

eric and cynnie foss

Here’s the real reason Big Guy loves campaigning: Umm, Jelly Dough-Nuts!!!!

donuts Tongue In Cheek or Jelly Donut Explosion?

donuts to go I’ll just get a few for later...Before Michelle gets here.

Oh yes, we’re hitting the trail later today too. We still haven’t decided what to wear, butt we know what to say.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Man Just Wants to Keep His Shoes On: SECURITY UPDATE BY Raj


Hello MOLs, MODs, MYLs (Mean Young Ladies) and FOMs, my name is Raj and I report to you with shameful eggs upon my face.

I am (or possibly now in the past tense, was) Chief Technical Support for MOTUS, TOTUS and, in my spare time, Dewey From Detroit. This post was caught in an ether wormhole on it’s intended warp speed path to Dewey From Detroit’s blog, and resulted in its appearance, without expectation or explanation, here on MOTUS’ blog. I am shamed and perhaps soon will be doing my part, along with Juan Williams to increase Obama’s historic unemployment rate.

Please to enjoy Dewey From Detroit’s post, here on MOTUS’ blog.

Humbly and Shamed,


This man is my newest hero: “Pilot Refuses Full-body Scan, Says TSA Doesn’t Make Travel Safer.”

Finally, someone who dares speak the truth. Our multi-billion dollar “screening” program at airports is a sham. Wow! Who’d of thunk?

I wish we could clone this ExpressJet Airlines first officer, Michael Roberts, and send the clones to Washington to replace the clowns that currently inhabit the halls of Congress.

Roberts told The Commercial Appeal newspaper he wants to go to work and not be “harassed or molested without cause.” adding that he believes “TSA (is) a “make-work” program that doesn’t make travel safer.”

This is really a no-brainer. the TSA boarding procedures make about as much sense as taking guns away from law-abiding citizens. Yes, that’s right, just like you’ve heard: then only the bad guys have guns. Really, how hard is this stuff, people? Do you want to shuffle  through airports without your shoes for the rest of your natural life? This is not exactly forward progress.

So, a salute to First Officer Roberts. He’ll probably get fired, but finally - someone with the chutzpah to reveal the truth about the Emperor’s new clothes. It’s a start.

Let’s send him over to the White House next.

Disaster In the Organic Garden of Good and Evil

little mo press hat




Disaster struck the Big White Organic Garden yesterday, shortly after 4:00 PM, EST.

the challenge begins

Unconfirmed as yet, it appears that a windy city storm, dubbed “Hurricane LaVaughn, blew through the Big White organic garden yesterday, decimating the harvest. The sweet potatoes appeared to be hardest hit:

seriously, do we have anything besides sweet potatoes diggin for dollars

Also among the victims; broccoli,

what a treat

turnips, still so small they could have been mistaken for icicle radishes,

turnip umm, yummy turnips

“maybe they’d taste better with a little Malden sea salt”

and pumpkins - that never stood a chance of reaching Jack-O-Lantern size.

we'll just bury it “we’ll just bury it right here and let it rest in peace”

(with this year’s disappointing pumpkin harvest, maybe there is something to Vanderleun’s charge of “pumpkin smuggling” – in  THINKING RIGHT)

The atmospheric disturbance, undoubtedly caused by Global Warming  Climate Change, which appears to have originated in a deep and rapidly growing West Wing depression, also caused the Big White bees to fly the coop. It’s unclear as of yet if they will consider returning to sweeten the Big White’s mood in the lame duck session.

 bee box “the bees were last seen buzzing over the Capital Building before heading off in all different directions”

World famous chefs were immediately air lifted in to honor and comfort what few vegetables survived Hurricane LaVaughn. The surviving legumes and roots were served for dinner to local school children who were bussed in to help clean up the aftermath.

chefs in the garden of good and evil

Chef Comerford Weigh in for the survivors

sorry babe, no more broccoli Lady M consoles a young volunteer: “sorry, babe, none of the broccoli made it. Would you like a turnip?”

Big White spokesman, Tim “Caveman” Burton, was dismissive and at times derisive in dodging questions from this reporter regarding the Administration’s inadequate garden safeguards and slow response to mitigating the damage. President Obama, who was reportedly “shooting hoops” when “LaVaughn” struck has yet to comment publically on the crisis. Critics charged that the President, currently campaigning for fellow Dems in Seattle, “just doesn’t care about vegetables” claiming that  “if it had been meat, he’d have been there.”

Reporting from the White House organic garden, this is Little Mo.

Back to you MOTUS.


Today, cub reporter MOTUS filed her second historic reflection on RIGHTNETWORK: “Inside the White House: Obama’s Brother from Another Mother.”

Little Mo will be filing a disturbing report on Obama’s second historic, “natural” disaster, here on this page, later this morning.



Please read my report here at RIGHTNETWORK and “Like” the crap out of it!

Back to you Little Mo.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Where Do I Sign Up for the Diaspora?

October 20, 2010. National Arts and Humanities Youth Program Awards, East Room of the White House in Washington.  Part 223 of our on-going mission to showcase every underprivileged youth organization in the greater Washington D.C. area:

Today’s event celebrated – well, I’m not really sure. Butt here, see for yourself; here’s Lady M and a star-filled audience enjoying the performance of a young dancer from Transforming the Lives of High Risk Youth: Training in the Arts & Culture of the African Diaspora Artists Collective, Inc. No, really, I didn’t make that up:

arts and culture of the african diaspora artists collective, Inc

I dunno. He looks like he might be auditioning for a part in our Zombie Get Out the Vote Movement. If so, he’s probably a “shoe-in.”

Butt, let’s talk about the dress we chose for the occasion. It’s a lovely coral-rose drapey-sheathy thingy.


Above is how our lovely coral Calvin Klein looked in May, with an inch of arm room and, uh, how can I put this? Boobies missing in action.

Below is how it looked on Lady M today: We’ve managed to fill out both our guns and roses.  It looks like we could use a couple of formal darts, instead of winging it with the wrinkly-stretchy fabric.

hmmm, funny wrinkles

Honestly, if I never see the words “viscose jersey” in connection with Lady M’s wardrobe again it will be too soon.

tight sleeves loose midrift

Drapey-clingy alert! Those are not supposed to be there!


Please, can we get Congress to outlaw “viscose” and “jersey” at least for the next couple of years? Or at least require manufacturers to include a can of Static Guard with each garment that is made out of this non-spandex friendly fabric?.

 static guardStatic Guard: Don’t Leave Home Without It

And I don’t even want to hear about the pink Cinderella slippers again, OK? I’m getting a migraine.

We Need All Dem Zombies at the Polls

In order to make their victory complete, the Homecoming King and Queen need your help to ensure that their hand chosen candidates get elected to their court:

HT/ Barbara at Mommy Life

Without their favorite courtesans, Big Guy and Lady M can’t guarantee that we’ll win the biggest game of our lives.

So what do you say kids? Do you have a few hours the weekend before the election to help us get the vote out?


 tombstones,%20graves,%20cemeteriesPlease, no racists, haters, Nazis, witches, whores, homophobes or Islamaphobes need apply. All other voters are welcome.

2 votes for obama copy Big Guy and Zombie vote for HOPE & CHANGE in ‘08

And for a limited time only, we are offering a special two-votes-for-the-price-of-one to all first time Dem-Zombies. Don’t miss your chance to make a difference. Help us get the vote “out”:

Democrats rise to vote in Chicago

If you liked this, you’ll love the full length movie:


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Looking Chic on a Dime

If ever there was an opportunity for Lady M to show her stuff, it was last night at the Sex in the City rally on Broadway. She definitely stole the show from Sarah Jessica, who is beginning to look a little less “sex” and a little more “city.”  Maybe Lady M can refer her to some of her own excellent estheticians...

sjp Sarah Jessica: yikes!

and one of her wighat-ologists. I’m sure she can afford them with her S&C residuals. Because unless SJP’s posing for a new coin of the realm, this look just isn’t working for her.

silver mercury dime copy

 The Mercury Dime, 1941

Click to see how Sarah Jessica became a dime!

Lady M on the other hand was the image of chic. In a homage to her dinner host, Donna Karan, MO wrapped herself in one of the super-tensile strength lycra bondage body suits that first made Donna famous among the lipo-challenged fashionistas.

dk underwire body suit Donna Karan’s “super-luxe” underwire body suit works its wonders on any body.






She finished the look by pulling on one of Donna’s body clingers in one of our new fall palate favorites, gun metal gray. This clingy knit would have been a bold move, had we not just completed phase 10 of our 12 step hippo-suction program. We wanted to look our best on the campaign trail, and so far I think it’s working.

I think our appearance last night turned out pretty well, all things considered. What say you?

m, sjp, jill Dark colors, artfully placed gathers, body armor: fantabulous!

Unlike the magenta runway model (seen in previous post), MO’s was a tastefully chic street length version. Here we are arriving at Donna’s home for cocktails and dinner:

obama-partyphoto: WWD

Lady M wisely choose both a Donna K dress and camel coat, both of which look great with her sista’ silver heels.

Here are a few of the the other hot shots arriving for Cosmos at DK’s, left to right: Dianne von Furstenberg, Isaac Mizrahi (sockless), Michael Kors (sockless) and Oprah’s BFF, Gail King.

dianne vonfurstenburg isaac mizrahi obama-party08 gail king

photos: WWD

It was a great party. Lady M gave a little speech about her late father, Fraser Robinson 3rd, who suffered from multiple sclerosis and struggled to get to work every day but did it for his family (that must be where Lady M learned to sacrifice). She said he is still a major source of inspiration to her. He probably ate organic fruits and vegetables too.

I’m not exactly  sure what the point of this story was, other than to mention that her father was a great lover of the arts and jazz, and the group was on their way to the St. James Theatre on Broadway to hear Patti LaBelle perform. Or maybe she just got her inspirational stories mixed up since she’s been so busy inspiring so many Americans to keep the HOPE and CHANGE alive.

Either way, one thing MO didn’t mention, but something I heard from Granny R: Dad Fraser Robinson 3rd would have been appalled to see grown men show up for a dinner party without socks. He wouldn’t have dreamed of going out – anywhere – without them. But then, he was so old fashioned he also thought ladies were not properly dressed unless they were wearing stockings. Ha ha! That’s a good one.

robertsavageandnanettelepore_thumb2photo: WWD

Nanette Lepore, sporting pasty, gnarly bare legs


Let the record reflect for future purposes however that several of the fashionistas showing up for Donna’s soiree sported dark tinted stockings like Dianne von Furstenberg, above, and Georgiana Chapman and Jill Stuart, below:

georginachapman_thumb        jillstuart_thumb photos: WWD

Do you think I’ve spotted a trend? Oh, I hope so too!