Saturday, March 1, 2014

Hillary: Old, Fat, Sick…still good enough for government work.

Some are whispering that Hillary is too old to run for president.

Clinton 2008

But that’s clearly not the issue, as Hills will only be 69 when she runs for president in 2016. Ronald Reagan was 73 when he ran in 1984, as was Bob Dole when he ran, and John McCain was 71 for his run against Hope and Change.

No, the question is not:“Is Hillary too old to run for president?” It’s “Is Hillary too fat to run for president?”


And before you squawk “SEXISM!” allow me to point out that weight is a legitimate issue for both sexes; just ask Chris Christie.


Now I’m not saying that Hills is Chris Christie fat:


Heck, she’s not even Kirstie Alley fat:

A little chubby maybe, butt Kirstie Alley fat? – nah.

Butt now I see there’s a new whisper campaign asking “is Hillary too sick to run?” with irresponsible innuendos of a brain tumor. This is a red herring. I’m not sure who tossed it out: It may have been Hill’s own campaign team, seeking to establish health-fueled plausible deniability argument for her abdication of responsibility in Benghazi.

hill benghazi

If it was her political enemies, then it’s intended to undermine her overall fitness for office. If that’s the case, it probably won’t fly, as we’ve gone for over 5 years without knowing whether Big Guy is physically fit enough to run the country. To establish a new standard now and demand to know about Hillary’s health would be outright sexist – so don’t be expecting the MSM to bring it up; we all know that’s the purview of the GOP.

hill old fat sick

All I can say, is that even if Hillary has lost those thick, lush “boy eyebrows” of her youth:


She’s somehow managed to maintain her youthful insouciance:

oh oh

And that’s all that’s necessary to be President. So don’t worry about her suffering from a serious brain disorder, she’s the smartest woman on earth:

hills half a brain(with apologies to Rush Limbaugh)

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Abby L Call, Susana Patrick, Susan Haymon on facebook, and @MuseumTwenty, @Standlow, @JanethMoresi on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, February 28, 2014

See BO. See Joe. See BO and Joe Run.



Don’t worry America, your political, spiritual, and material leaders took time out of their busy day to show you the proper way to work and play:

work and play dick

Take it away boys:

Let’s Move!

If you’re going to run, just make sure you check check a couple of things out first:

If it’s raining, remember your umbrella:

Screenshot Studio capture #1794

Make sure you wear the right shoes:

Screenshot Studio capture #1795

And leave the dog at home, although they like to run too, they can be too frisky:

Screenshot Studio capture #1793In Amerika, dog walks man.

And above all don’t forget to stay hydrated.

Screenshot Studio capture #1796…by any means necessary

Just be sure to read the nutrition label on your water bottle before you drink it, in case the evil Big Beverage companies have tried to sneak in some added sugars to make you fat.

mo nutrition labels

That is all. You are now free to go about thanking your betters for looking out for your well-being every minute of every day. (Unfortunately you are no longer free to keep your plan if you like your plan; sorry,that’s known as “collateral damage” in politics.)


See Jane Run

Which Dick do you suppose will be run next?

mo joe hill(More on this tomorrow – that’s known as a “teaser” in the film industry)

NOTE: I’ve been nominated for an Oscar by Gerard!

Linked By: Abby L Call, Connie Stedham, Clint Counts, Susana Patrick, Fred Hopkins on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

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Thursday, February 27, 2014

“Not even a smidgen of corruption.” That’s why it’s a phony scandal.



Big Guy told O’Reilly that there’s “not even a smidgen of corruption” in the IRS actions taken to investigate conservative groups. Now Congressman Trey Gowdy wants to know just how big a smidgen is. Is it more than a soupçon? Less than a scintilla?

With all due respect, and despite the fact that BHO has completed his own internal investigation and concluded that the IRS is a phony scandal, House Oversight Chairman Darrel Issa – and Trey Gowdy - are still not satisfied:

Worth watching the whole thing if you have time

And they want more answers from Lois-I-did-nothing-wrong-butt-I’m-taking-the-Fifth-Lerner.

IRS Political Groups

Accordingly, the Chairman has recalled her to testify to Congress next week. Her attorney says she will only do so if granted immunity. Immunity for what? Not a smidgen of wrong doing? Not a scintilla of corruption? Congressman Gowdy says there will be no immunity until we know exactly how big a smidgen is.This is almost as good as the season premier of The Americans!

Meanwhile, Harry Reid has called out all those lying Americans who are making up horror stories about their Obamacare experiences.  He later walked back his accusations, saying only the “vast majority” of them were liars.

I don’t know what to think; if Obamacare isn’t fraught with horror stories problems unrealized opportunities, why does Big Guy have to keep unilaterally changing all the rules?

delayed obamacare

Butt enough of all this; let’s talk about something fun. Do you remember how anxious you all were to see the rest of this frock that Lady M wore at the 2012 Governor’s Ball?

mo gov ball

Well, finally, you can; it’s now on display in the Smithsonian, cleaned, nipped and tucked for display:


The frock, designed by Indian-American designer Naeem Khan especially for Lady M, is part of a special Smithsonian exhibit - “Beyond Bollywood: Indian Americans Shape the Nation”  - on the history of Indian immigration to the United States and the influence of Indian-Americans.

*Hee* - “Indian Americans Shape the Nation.” Actually, it’s the NASA designed industrial strength containment systems that do most of the “shaping” for Lady M, butt the gowns are a nice finishing element. And Naeem is definitely one of Lady M’s favorite designers “shaping” America:

Screenshot Studio capture #1790Lady M in various frocks designed by Naeem Khan

Of course, some of Naeem’s designs “shaped” America better than others.


And there’s not even a smidgen of construction involved in any of his creations. The man’s a creative genius!

Maybe we should recruit him to redesign Obamacare.

pj boy3

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and @TurdBurglestein on twitter, and Far North Dallas Tea Party Patriots, Abby L Call, Fred Hopkins, Mireille Buser, Kimberly S. Hager on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The President Sneezes, so you have to #GetCovered

That’s right: Big Guy has a cold, so we all need to buy aspirin, Kleenex and throat lozenges:

Normally I’d say “God bless” butt I don’t believe we’re allowed to use that expression on government property anymore.

Yesterday Big Guy met with his sycophantic enthusiastic team of sycophants supporters at Organizing For Action (OFA), previously known as Organizing For America (OFA) if you’re keeping track. He thanked them for their excellent effort in getting so many millions of previously covered Americans - who couldn’t keep the insurance they liked after all - signed up for Obamacare by employing such creative tactics as talking to your family over the holiday meal:


BO told the troops that because of them 4 million* people had signed up for Obamacare. He then blessed them for doing “God’s work”


and urged them to continue their good works in order to help him raise the minimum wage as well. Because his work on this earth is not yet done.

obama_light_sabreBehold, the light-bringer cometh, and he brings you a higher minimum wage

Meanwhile, Lady M was busy proposing a ban on advertising of junk food in schools. You know, in order to keep America healthy so you won’t ever actually have to use Obamacare.

And since the content of her remarks are not all that interesting, I’ll just show you a full length view of the new sleeveless frock she wore to announce her ban on sodas:

0e27cfc0e669d9074c0f6a7067000af2 This one is really more of a “smock” than a frock.


get covered

* Actual number after removing those who previously had private insurance they liked butt couldn’t keep, people who were enrolled or re-enrolled in Medicaid or who didn’t actually pay for the coverage they “enrolled in” is estimated to be somewhere between 1 and 50,000. Butt 4 million is close enough for government work.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Mireille Buser, Abby L Call, Susana Patrick, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Battle Of The Selfies

Did you know that yesterday was “No Makeup Monday?”  It appears to have something to do with “loving your selfie” although going in front of a camera lens without a stitch of makeup on and expecting to love the result seems rather counter intuitive to me. I, for one, think I look much better with a bit of lipstick.

MOTUS kiss

And maybe even a touch of blusher:


Butt back to “NMM,” the entire staff of the Today Show  bravely went where no hi-def TV team has ever gone before: Makeup free!  To say it wasn’t pretty is a bit of an understatement. And as is the case with aging, the guys seem to have navigated the dangerous shoals better:

Screenshot Studio capture #1779

Although most of them look like they could be posing for mug shots, Matt Laur, Al Royker and Carson Daly don’t look all that different without professionally applied makeup.

The ladies however…well let’s just say they were very courageous:

Screenshot Studio capture #1780

Kathie Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb and Samantha Guthrie look like, well…like somebody else. As I understand it, the whole point of the #LoveYourSelfie campaign is “to spread positive body image through social media snaps.” After reviewing the above photos, I’m still not getting how that actually works.

It looks like No Makeup Monday was a a really big deal though. Even RuPaul participated, appearing sans makeup at precisely 4:30 PM EST to ring the closing bell for Nasdaq and to hype yesterday’s premier episode of his hugely successful show: RuPaul’s Drag Race, Season 6.

rupaul3RuPaul Charles rings the closing bell

Gosh, this never gets old, does it? The RuPaul “Who Wore it Better” meme I mean:

rupaul moIt wasn’t a fair mash-up though, because Lady M never goes anywhere without makeup.

Further fueling the friendly rivalry between RuPaul and Lady M, they both released video promos yesterday for their respective programs.

First, here is Lady M teamed up with Will Ferrell to do a “hilarious ‘Let’s Move’ public service announcement:”

You may have to watch it twice to catch the “hilarious” part, butt the kids are adorable.

Meanwhile, RuPaul’s promo for Drag Race 6 depends on the special *cough* talents of his Drag Race contestants who most certainly were not participating in Makeup Free Monday:

While neither of the promos were done “makeup free,” there is a whole lot of “selfie love” going on. I wish I could vote for both of them. Oh wait, I can!

Linked By: Abby L Call, Fred Hopkins, Sandy Peterson, Susana Patrick, Karen Berka Bruewer, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

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Monday, February 24, 2014

Lewis Farrakhan Wants His Own Water Fountain

Because we don’t have enough controversy these days. Because what the country needs is more racial animus.

Joe Louis Arena, Minister Louis FarrakhanCue Minister Louis Farrakhan, titular head of the Nation of Islam, an 84-year-old black nationalist group.

Speaking to 18,000 people at the Joe Lewis Arena in Detroit yesterday, Mr. Farrakhan used the platform to blast the U.S. judicial system as being biased against African Americans, calling upon the community to set up its own courts:

“We want equal justice under the law,” Farrakhan said on the last day of the Nation of Islam’s annual convention, held in Detroit this year. “Our people can’t take much more. We have to have our own courts.”

So as I understand, Mr. Farrakhan wants a separate but equal judicial system that is “just as powerful, just as strong, just as well funded” as the one we have today.


For the second time in just 6 months, I find myself asking, “What next? Their own water fountains?”

want own waterfountains

“How do I  bring people together? How? Maybe a luau of some kind. What is it Campbell?”

“I just met with the African American Student Council, sir…”

“Great, a new separatist demand, right?”


“I don’t get it, Campbell. The Black students now have separate dorms, fraternities, cafeteria tables, student center, studies program and graduation. After 25 years of intensive, progressive action in pursuit of racial justice at this college, we’ve managed to produce a fully segregated campus. *sigh* What a legacy I’ve created. And to think I marched with Dr. King in Selma.”

“So what is it now?”

“Um…the kids want their own water fountains.”



 How’s all that “Hope and Change” working out for you?

Linked By: American Digest, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Sandy Peterson, Brian Keith Tarling, Kent Clizbe, Abby L Call, Fred Hopkins, Florence Rowe Koehler on facebook, and @2oldCrabs on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

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Sunday, February 23, 2014

In Russia, All Our Justices Are Belong To Us.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t make heads or tails out of what’s going on in the Ukraine.

kiev under seige

Butt if you squint, it looks just like another Arab Spring…only in Ukraine.

All I know is that Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych was forced to flee Kiev, leaving his swanky chateau open for public tours to view how their betters live:


They came to see the awesome crystal chandeliers, the collections of cars, boats and motorcycles,


Screenshot Studio capture #1774

They also enjoyed visiting the on-site zoo housing everything from exotic peacocks to the more traditional farm-to-table fare.

Screenshot Studio capture #1775

and playing a round of golf on the President’s private golf course.

golf course

Viktor claims this was an unlawful coup d'état, and vows to take back his rightful position straight away.  Undermining his claim of an undemocratic coup however, the army declared it will not get involved. It looks like he was constitutionally impeached by an overwhelming majority of the sitting Parliament. The whole affair unwound very quickly and is very unsettling.

Fortunately nothing like that could ever happen here. Oh sure, we’ve got our share of golf courses, peacocks and pigs; butt we don’t have a Parliament - and everyone knows we have a do-nothing Congress.

Anyway, rumors were flying around like rabid bats yesterday; an initial report from CNN had it that Al Yankovic had been impeached:


Screenshot Studio capture #1770

Weird Al immediately set the record straight:

Screenshot Studio capture #1771 


The good news is that in the process of impeaching Yanukovych, his chief political opponent was released from jail where she’d been held for 4 years under some arcane Soviet Era law.


While nobody knows who will fill the leadership gap in the Ukraine, many famous Ukrainians, both dead and alive, have been suggested:

In the live category: Yakov Smirnoff, Mila Kunis and Viktor Petrenko.

Deceased, butt still considered inspirational, one way or another, by some Ukrainians: Golda Meir, Nikita Khrushchev, and Leon Trotsky.

I know Big Guy doesn’t want to get involved – NOT because he’s afraid of Putin, mind you, – because it’s really none of our concern. Butt I don’t see why he couldn’t just appoint a temporary President as a placeholder until the Ukranians decide if they want to be an EU doormat or a Russian puppet. After all, we’ve got an embarrassing number of excess Czars around here, so it only seems fair to spread some of that wealth around the world.

In related news, Harvard University is currently leading the parade in the world-wide “justice” over freedom movement. In an editorial titled “The Doctrine of Academic Freedom – Let’s Give Up On Academic Freedom in Favor of Justice” senior Sandra Y.L. Korn, a joint history of science and studies of women, gender and sexuality major un-ironically argued her premise:

“If our university community opposes racism, sexism, and heterosexism, why should we put up with research that counters our goals simply in the name of ‘academic freedom’?”

Progressive thinking like that leads directly to Kiev.


“We are on correct path comrades”Vereteno, 2010

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