Saturday, July 20, 2013

If Obama were a Kardashian, Which Kardashian Would He Be?

“You know, when Trayvon Martin was first shot I said that this could have been my son.  Another way of saying that is Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago.” 

Not to quibble over words, as we all know by now that “just words” don’t mean anything butt technically, no; that isn’t another way of saying it. “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon” is another way of saying “this could have been my son.” “I could have been Trayvon,” is another way of saying “Trayvon Martin could have been me.”   

Butt hey! We all get the point, right?

President Obama implored Americans on Friday to “do some soul-searching” in the aftermath of the shooting death of an unarmed black teenager in Florida, speaking expansively and introspectively about the nation’s painful history of race and his own place in it.

So I’m willing to play along. We all know that BO could’ve been Trayvon, or a Kardashian butt let’s do some soul-searching and see who else Big Guy could’ve been 35 years ago.

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev? Like BO, he had a flakey mother and was disenfranchised, maybe he could have been Dzhokhar.

djokar

And how about Cory Monteith? He, too, was talented and given to using drugs to escape life’s harsh expectations.

               untitledcory

Although both of these young guys are/were pretty white; and as we know from his first and second autobiographies, Big Guy didn’t really relate much to his white half. Especially after he became a successful community organizer.

I suppose, with that set of chords he’s got, BO could have been any of the young rappers. Lil Wayne for example.

lil-wayne1

In fact I understand that Lil Wayne has been to rehab a few times for his Sizzurp addiction. (“Sizzurp” aka “Purple Drank,” “Lean,” and “Texas Tea.” It’s a concoction of cough syrup - preferably codeine butt OTC will do in a pinch -, Arizona Tea or soda and Jolly Ranchers or Skittles. – h/t srdem65)

leanmix_1

I understand it’s a big thang with urban youth in the south who are just minding their own business.

Alternatively, and since we are free to make up the rules as we go along these days, how about doing our soul-searching from the rear view mirror and contemplate who Big Guy could have been 35 years ago. 

Possibly Augusto Pinochet?

Screenshot Studio capture #1248Apparently BRF isn’t a new phenomena

Although Augusto was Chile’s rather non-benevolent dictator he still enjoyed high approval ratings from his adoring fans well into his regime of terror.

Screenshot Studio capture #1244The Pinochet-ettes look just like O-bots!

Closer to home,  BO could have been Jimmy Carter 35 years ago. You remember Jimmy Carter: he undercut our friend, the reformist Shah of Iran and thus helped usher the Ayatollah Khomeini into power and the rest, as they say, is history:

Thus Jimmy Carter's misguided implementation of human rights policies not only indirectly led to overthrow of the Shah of Iran, but also paved the way for loss of more than 600,000 lives, Iran's rule by Ayatollahs, the Iran-Iraq War, Iraq's Invasion of Kuwait and Desert Storm, the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, the Taliban, Al Qaeda, Osama bin Laden, and the mass murder of Americans and destruction of the World Trade Center towers on September 11, 2001.

         jimmy-carter-and-the-shah-of-iran-talk-everettjune 09

Oh, and I almost forgot: Jimmy also won a Nobel Peace Prize, just like Big Guy.

Screenshot Studio capture #1250Equally deserving

That was for signing the first nuclear non-proliferation treaty with Russia (about the same time Big Guy would have been formulating his own deep thoughts on nuclear proliferation that would later he included in his only published college paper) and for getting that Mid-East “Framework for Peace” accord signed at Camp David. Just think: that was 35 years ago, and today we’re still reaping all the benefits that were to be had from that piece of work.

On the other hand, Jimmy Carter gave the Panama Canal away to Nicaragua in a show of neighborly friendship, oversaw an abysmal economy with the unemployment rate hovering around 6%  - which actually sounds pretty good now, butt they probably calculated it differently back then – and the country was burdened with what was referred to as “runaway” inflation as neither the Fed or the Treasury had yet figured out how to mask “control” inflation while still printing money like crazy.

Still, there’s plenty of time left. Big Guy could give Texas back to Mexico and somehow manage to get our unemployment rate down to 6% – which I think he can pull off if we just continue to not count the people who’ve been out of work for over a year and put the rest of them on disability.

                        bo grinjimmy-carter

So I think that’s my final answer, after a great deal of soul-searching: BO could have been Jimmy Carter 35 years ago.

Although, apparently, he couldn’t be Jimmy Carter today.

carter obama

“America has no functioning democracy at this moment," Carter said at a closed-door event.

                  Obama family arrives at US Capitol prior to inauguration swear-inOnly one of them is surprised, and it isn’t BO.

Oh, and while I think this goes without saying: BO could’ve been any of the Kardashians.

Linked By: IMAO, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice Feldman, Red Target, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

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Friday, July 19, 2013

Lady M Takes Her Wighat Chickens Home To Roost!

Yesterday this picture of Lady M set the intertoobs teeth on edge and kicked the misery heat index up to notches unknown:

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I blame Matt Drudge who started the ball rolling with this headline gem:

drudge copy

Then, The Blaze fanned the flames (heh!) with this: "Michelle Obama’s ‘Elvis cut’"

blaze

The Baltimore Sun got into the scrum with a new poll asking readers “What do you think of Michelle Obama's new haircut?”:

Screenshot Studio capture #971I’m not sure how current this is, butt I think they like it, don’t you??? (click to embiggen)

Butt with the dawn comes the embarrassing truth: Rumors of Lady M’s haircut have been greatly exaggerated.

Yes, if the side-shot (can I say that?) and back-door embargo had been lifted, everybody might have exercised a little journalistic restraint. Butt with only the first pic to work with, the cart ran away with the horse, so to speak.

usa-obama-bushSuspicious, butt more evidence needed.

 

bush obama

bush obama

Eureka!

Michelle Obama Barack Obama Honors 5 000th 6b4on8ogZQZx“Elementary, my dear Watson”: the bun, bloomed into a whole loaf!

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Frankly, and unfortunately, this is not the first time we’ve sported this doo:

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As the day wore on, more proof emerged. Lady M joins Mayor Rahm “Rhambo” “Dead Fish” Emanuel (h/t: Sean Hannity)and his beard partner spouse wife, Amy Rule, for a morning visit to the career training program, Urban Alliance Chicago:

michelle-obama-chicago1MO-hair or wighat"???

"To you all students, for having the courage to step outside your comfort zone and do something that was probably initially pretty scary, I know that feeling," Obama told about 50 teens gathered at Columbia College Chicago to see her. "I was you guys. I say that all the time. Living on the South Side, looking at these buildings, wondering what it was like to work in those offices."

"Programs like this are an answer in so many ways (SNIP) for kids in so many communities, giving them an opportunity (SNIP) of gangbanging, hanging on the streets, dropping out," she said...

[Legal Disclaimer: This is an example of a Lame Stream Media Edit, similar to the one NBC did of the Zimmerman 911 recording. Yes, Lady M said this, butt a few, teensy, tiny, strategic words have been redacted. I’m not doing it maliciously, I just think this narrative is more interesting. Just like NBC. (Butt the first paragraph, “to you all students” is uncut, unedited and let me just say, I feels you guys pain.)]

“So, MOTUS. What did we learn from all of this?” I don’t know. I reflect, you decide. Butt it looks like this whole kerfuffle could have been avoided if Lady M had just tried the new hair product we picked up last week in PRIVATE!, instead of parading it around in front of the cameras:

4890869677_a7e3633955

 

In other news, Big Guy is still chewing...

bo gum

 

Elvis has left the building!

Linked By:  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, July 18, 2013

“Trรจs Terror Chic”: Rolling Along, Gathering No Moss

Why is everyone upset with Rolling Stone? They’re just doing what they do: celebrifying the base elements of society in order to make a buck. And let’s face it, it’s not as if Rolling Stone invented  “Trรจs terror Chic” fashion.

Che Guevara t-shirts have been popular since the 60’s

Che-Guevara_T

Zapatista gear seemingly forever:

zapatista2

Keffiyehs since the 80’s

arafat

Mujahaddin scarves since the 90’s,

PKK guerilla

and "shemaghs"  since the ought’s. Of course, these all serve a very practical military purpose for both sides when you’re engaged in desert warfare.

Khaki Cotton Military Desert Shemagh_ScarfMade in China, for both sides

Butt that’s not what made them famous; celebrities did that.

KanyeWest-300letterman celebs 2 291007Kanye_071128_ms

Baby-daddy Kanye and Jay-Z: both down with the schtruggle

Soon the fashion was showing up everywhere: on selfies,

terror chic selfie

and was quickly co-opted by everyone from Rachel Ray to Howard Dean to the Reverend Al:

rachaelhoward dean of the mujhadinjesse-jackson-al-sharpton-16x9

Shortly thereafter the terror-chic scarves were “gentrified”

scrf-desert-scarf

and quickly became an object of desire by the ever burgeoning metrosexual class:

Timbaland_justinss-101111-michelle-obama-01_grid-8x2

Justin Timberlake and Lady M, incognito

So I don’t hardly see how you can blame Rolling Stone for glorifying terror chic. That would be like blaming Lady M for glorifying table cloth and beach umbrella fashion.

o mo share 2

Lady M didn’t invent tablecloth and beach umbrella fashion, she just made it her own.

          Michelle-Obama-Marc-Jacobs-Striped-Silk-Simone-Dress-340x588OBAMA

The terrorist-chic look has been around ever since Fidel wrested Cuba from the hands of indolent upper class in order to make it the working man’s paradise it is today. And ever since, you simply can’t be any kind of a rebel with a murderous cause without a little terrorist bling. And that starts with a good scarf. And a good, high capacity “magazine” belt.

obama-michelle-belt1

So let’s stop obsessing about this cover:

o-ROLLING-STONE-TSARNAEV-570

And get our attention redirected to this cover:

 

BenghaziCoverUp

And the one thing you can count on is that after the media gets tired of celebrifying evil, they will get back to vilifying the innocent. So my fashion advice for the near-future: invest in a few good keffiyehs. With the NSA hovering around everywhere, you never know when you, too, might need one.

Nakoula-Basseley-Nakoula--010

IYKWIMAITYD.

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