Saturday, April 9, 2016

Danger: Lead Hazard

It’s been a week of Clintons.

First, Hillary took her very own MetroCard to ride the NY subway, just like the ordinary people: it only took her 6 swipes to master the concept, so don’t tell me she’s not qualified to be President.

Everyone knows you get to practice on the job till you finally get it:

Practice makes Perfect


It was so much easier the last time Hillary rode the subway, just like the regular people – in 1992.

hilz subway 1992

They still used tokens back then. And Hilz still had a waist.

All things considered though it was better to back people up at the subway turnstile rather than the above ground traffic, like she did the last time she was in New York for a haircut.

Then there was Bill. First getting into a shouting match with BLM protestors who not only had the audacity to shout him down, butt used his own legislation against him:

The heated exchange began after the demonstrators interrupted Clinton several times while he was on stage, lambasting his administration's Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994. The legislation has been blamed for ushering in an era of mass incarceration that disproportionately affects blacks and Latinos, raising the US prison population by more than a million.

Boy, the one thing you don’t want to do with Bubba is attack his legacy – he wrote a 1,008 page autobiography to preserve it. (O/T: imagine how long Barry’s will be) And while his response was correct, the handlers made him apologize, which he sort of wanted to do, sort of:

“So I did something yesterday in Philadelphia I almost want to apologize for but I want to use it as an example of the danger threatening our country." - CNN

These two old wrinkled pols are getting to the point that they’re just robo-calling it in and neither of them seems to think much about what comes out of their mouths anymore. It’s a good thing that much of the MSM continues to love them and cover for them as much as possible. Because without the MSM, the jokes would just write themselves:

“I want us to have an absolute commitment to getting rid of lead wherever it is.” – Hillary Clinton, Flint MI,  Business Insider

9MM AMMOWhere ever it is

hillary spreadleadwork

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, April 8, 2016

One Thing Is Always Worse Than Another Thing

According to an AP-GfK poll, the country overwhelmingly hates Trump (69%); butt they also strongly dislike Ted (59%) and Old Hilz (55%). I don’t know about you butt when I saw this report I was curious about who was conducting it; what happened to Gallup, Rasmussen, Opinion Research – the usual suspects? AP is familiar butt who the heck is GfK? So I checked:

The GfK SE, established in 1934 as Gesellschaft für Konsumforschung (Society for Consumer Research) is Germany's largest market research institute, and the fourth largest market research organisation in the world.

In December 2011, GfK acquired Knowledge Networks, based in Palo Alto, California the United States, which does online research for consumer products and services, pharmaceuticals, retail, media, and public policy.Wikipedia

Gesellschaft für Konsumforschung!?! Seriously? Wow!  We really are outsourcing American jobs. I wonder how many of their pollsters are foreign guest workers here on H-1B visas.  

So if America hates all the front runners I guess we’re going to end up with a choice between an old Commie:


and an old shoe.

john-kasich-comfortable old shoejohnny cake kasichkasich hug2I love you bro!

I think I’ll just spend today quietly reflecting on how, from a nation of 320 million people, we’ve come down to this.


“Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West, behind the hills into shadow. How did it come to this?”   Theoden - The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 

For the record, if it comes down to the Commie or the old shoe, I’d take the old shoe.


Because one thing is always worse than another thing.

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Diversity: It’s Good Because … It’s Different.

I feel a little guilty for not covering this event live; after all, it is my primary job – reflecting Lady M. It’s just that this is the 8th year in a row we’ve planted our Victory Garden and I think people are sick of it - the garden and the victory.

garden moThe evolution of gardenwear, 2009 to 2016

Lady M’s been squatting and plotting in the White House Garden of Good and Evil since April of 2009.


And the planting is never as much fun as the harvest.


Butt without the ritual planting you can’t have a fruitful harvest. Everybody knows that.

Anyway, that was on Tuesday. Yesterday we had a reception to celebrate the Persian new year Nowruz, which marks the “beginning of spring, the renewal of nature, and the welcoming of a positive and healthy new year.” Nowruz actually falls on the day of the vernal equinox, which was March 20th this year, butt since we were on our Spring Break tour of Cuba then, better late than never. And besides, Val Jar insisted we not skip it as it’s another one of our “Obama Era traditions.” Celebrating obscure foreign holidays like Kwanzaa and Nowruz along with our own traditions, like the 4th of July, puts all holidays on a level playing field; which is part of our legacy.

So we got reupholstered for the party and threw a reception to mark the event.

michelleobamafirstladymichelleobamahostsqtsyhw642mhlLady M’s freshly upholstered tuffet.

Here are some of Lady M’s remarks, commemorating the event:

“We think America is strongest when we recognize our many traditions,

failure to saluteExcept saluting our Marines

when we celebrate our diversity,


and when we lift each other up,"




"In times like these, when we’re hearing so much disturbing and hateful rhetoric, it is so important to remember that our diversity has been and will always be our greatest source of strength and pride here in the United States."

Odd, liberty and freedom used to be our greatest source of strength and pride.

liberty and boys in blue

Butt hey, diversity is good too. That’s why Lady M planted multi-colored potatoes,

potato diversity

and transgendered tomatoes this year.

transgender tomato

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Well no surprises last night: the Commie/Socialist beat the girl fair and square; and because she’s a girl the Democrat Party rules clearly state that she’ll still end up with most of his marbles.

norman rockwell marbles

On the other side, Cruz – the guy that nobody in Washington likes and isn’t electable – beat Trump – the guy that nobody in America likes and isn’t electable. And Kasich – the likable little lint ball - continued to be the annoying gnat that can’t be shooed away no matter how many times you swat at him. 

gnat man

These results were followed by hours (and hours) of analysis on all the cable news nets by people who know less about what’s really happening out there than you and me. So at this point, it still looks like it’s anybody’s game.

Will the powers-that-be find a way to give the Dems’ nomination to Hilz regardless of the fact their members prefer a flat out communist? Or will they seek a convention surprise?

just joey“Hell yes I’ll run!”

Will the GOPe ignore the will of their base and appoint an “oh shucks” candidate by fiat instead?  

paul ryan

How will the little people of both parties feel if their votes are ignored in favor of the Establishments’ candidates? What if the political-media complex proves to be more powerful than the military-industrial complex?


Maybe now is a good time to get out there and stock up on those disaster supplies that you’ve been meaning to get around to.


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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

We Take A Day Off And Go For a Ride

I do have a test today… It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. - Ferris Bueller


Thanks to Boston Charlie we learned that this year is the 30th anniversary of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. And after reading the post BC linked - Ferris Bueller vs. The Snowflake Generation - I decided to dedicate today’s post to Ferris instead of the obligatory Primary Day Candidate Review Rundown and Delegate Count. I’m sure you’ll be as pleased by my decision as I am.

To summarize the referenced Ferris vs. the Snowflakes article: the author, a millennial himself, concludes the movie contains far too much American initiative, American ingenuity and what would now be considered microaggresion and triggering to ever make it past the PC police today. Like “The Chalking Incidents” on college campuses, just watching it could cause hives and other adverse reactions. Just like Trump, who Rich Lowry said is “so electrically charged” that he “is like the Washington Redskins of political candidates — so politically incorrect that some people can’t bear to see or hear his name.”

I have discussed Ferris Bueller in the past, once when David Plouffe’s book, The Audacity To Win, came out - a smug little tome on how cleverly he positioned Barack Hussein Obama as America’s transformational god. I questioned at the time whether Plouffe and Bueller weren’t separated at birth:

plouffe ferris bueller

Or, given the gap in time, possibly Ferris just grew up to become Plouffe: another manipulator extraordinaire.


Indeed, FBDO proved to be somewhat prescient of the Obama presidency:


Sloane: What are we going to do?
Ferris: The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"

bo arms

Since it’s been a long time, here’s a 3 minute condensed version of the iconic movie, in case you forgot the good parts:

I think we all remember how things turned out for Daddy’s prized Ferrari however:


And Ferris had about as much empathy for Cameron when his future inheritance went flying out of the garage into the ravine as Barry did for his countrymen when he sent their country flying into the ditch:


my work id done colorado copy

A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.”  - Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Monday, April 4, 2016

Not Even A Nixon

As the candidates - Democrat and Republican - continue to jostle each other around for political advantage, something larger than any of their egos is developing on the horizon.

It's a shame the Republican candidates continue to waste time hectoring each other over the most trivial matters when over the last few days it has become increasingly clear how completely the president of the United States sold out the interests of our country and the West to the Islamic Republic of Iran -- by far (it isn't even close) the biggest state sponsor of terrorism. The candidates are missing an extraordinary teaching moment about something of monumental significance, assuming they are paying attention to it themselves. – Roger Simon

it’s not wise to take your eye off the ball while in the heat of a campaign. If you don’t believe me, just ask Richard Nixon. While he wasn’t paying attention the Plumbers hatched the campaign scheme that ultimately took him out.

nixonHis victory was fleeting

The media, for sure, have missed this big story:

What the supposed journalists are missing is a chance to solve the greatest mystery of our times -- why Barack Obama decided to sell out those Western interests to Iran; and why, at least for the moment, he has taken the Shiite side in the thirteen hundred year plus Sunni-Shiite civil war and in so doing placed humanity in jeopardy, making the mullahs stronger and virtually assuring they will eventually have atomic weapons.

Why does this peculiar man who somehow ended up president of the United States make the often inexplicable decisions he does? Does he have real reasons (nefarious or otherwise) or is it, to be blunt, emotional disturbance?  - Roger Simon

Not that those two things are mutually exclusive, butt the media isn’t particularly interested in the answer so it looks like we won’t get a definitive answer to that not-so-rhetorical question until after he leaves office.

Some parts of the world have already weighed in however:

obama-peace-signSending the world a sign at the Nuclear Summit: “Yes, of course we will submit.”

They think he’s simply a clown:

UK and Israeli newspapers have one word for Obama – ‘clown’ – for flashing the peace sign as the photo of world leaders was taken at the end of what was a very serious two-day nuclear summit. David Cameron looked on unfavorably and others looked bemused, laughing at him no doubt. Russia didn’t bother to attend.


And these days he’s a sad clown at that because Iran refuses to follow his clowny instructions:

“Iran so far has followed the letter of the agreement, but the spirit of the agreement involves Iran also sending signals to the world community and businesses that it is not going to be engaging in a range of provocative actions that are going to scare businesses off. When they launch ballistic missiles with slogans calling for the destruction of Israel, that makes businesses nervous.” – Jihad Watch

Cheer up Barry, you are still historical. And when your legacy is written you will be remembered for the historical clown you are.

bo no nixon copyObama: Not even a Nixon

Edit: I forgot to add Roger Simon’s final admonition - “Republican candidates, wake up!  There's serious work to be done.”

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, April 3, 2016

We’re All Victims On This Bus; I Blame Bush

I see where Hillary blamed current voter anger and unrest on the George W. Bush recession, (some things never seem to get old);

And Trump warned that we’re headed towards another yuuge recession. Should that actually happen it will be blamed on George W. Bush too, as we’re not allowed to blame anything on American’s First Real Black President, or, by extension, any Democrat. To do so would clearly consist of a racist microaggresion – which in case you haven’t noticed is the new shorthand for the old  “dog whistle.” While the dog whistle proved useful in the past 2 presidential elections, it was time to replace it with something a little more generic.

oscar-meyer-weiner-whistle1_thumb[1]Warning! Choking hazard.

Something that could be expanded to include all victims, not just victims of racism. Hence, the multi-culti “microaggresion” was born. It can be used  generically to accuse a person or group of sexism/misogyny, homophobia, Islamophobia or any other phobia with a deserving victim group.

calvin as victim

And staunch Hillary supporter, Barbra Streisand, proves that anyone, with the proper progressive mindset, can cast themselves in the victim role. A new biography of Babs reveals the icon considered herself an unloved outsider her entire life, despite serial marriages/affairs with some of the sexiest men around: Elliot Gould, Jon Peters, Ryan O'Neal, Warren Beatty, Don Johnson, Kris Kristofferson, Pierre Trudeau, Andre Agassi – and maybe Bill Clinton, butt that wasn’t in the official biography. She finally found her one true love with James Brolin. It was an improbable match as she hitched up with a guy who may possibly be the only person as self-involved as her.

Barbra had been in therapy to help her become more self-aware and learn to acknowledge other's realities. [ed. learn to not treat them like dirt on your shoes]

Brolin had his issues of learning to emote and had been enrolled in a love and communication seminar where he learned to hug. [ed. Hug? Seriously? You’re an actor, how hard can it be?]

According to the biography Barbra blames her victimhood on her mother, her grandfather, her step-father, her school-mates – both male and female – her Brooklyn upbringing and most casting directors who didn’t immediately recognize her genius.

No wonder Babs is such a yuuge Hillary fan, they have a lot in common. Both felt unloved until they made millions of dollars, both are accused of being haughty, bossy and demanding, both were pathologically ambitious, and both treat people they no longer have any use for like dirt.

barbra-streisand-and-hillary-clintonHard to say who can out-haught whom

Come to think of it, Barbra would make the perfect running mate for Hill!

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