Saturday, February 5, 2011

Winging it with a Prayer

Did your Mom ever tell you that “If you keep acting like that, you’re not going to have a friend left in the world.”? It seems as though Big Guy’s Mom never taught him about the tenuous nature of friendship.

In the interest of Big Guy’s future popularity contests, let me be perfectly clear: if you plot behind your best friend’s back to replace him with a new best friend,

june 09 Big Guy with his best bud, Mubarak, June ‘09

or when you promise to tell you best friend’s secrets to a mutual enemy in order to curry favor with said enemy, soon You’ll find yourself without a friend left in the world. Except for France. They may be the only country who understands our new brand of “friendship.”

While I can’t think of any way to put a good spin on this (indeed, not even the Democratic Underground seemed to be reacting to this news very positively). It does at least explains this image of U.S. Director of National Intelligence, James Clapper, from earlier this week:

clapper prays He appears to be praying. And this wasn’t even the National Prayer Breakfast.

Speaking of the NPB: you can tell that no matter who started the “unrest” in  Egypt, it’s not going as expected. How can you tell? Well for one thing, Big Guy actually prayed at the prayer breakfast. Unclear to whom, butt it definitely passed as a prayer. I can’t say for sure that it was the first time, since he did tell everyone at the head bagel table on Thursday that his life was somehow “informed by the scriptures.” On the other hand, he proceeded to explain how he was essentially raised by godless parents and grandparents who were too busy to take him to church except on Christmas and Easter. Some years. Or at least once.

Not that Big Guy hasn’t been around prayers before: for example, back when he was living as Barry Soetoro in Indonesia with Mom and Lolo. That’s when, as Big Guy himself told told the New York Times, he found the Muslim call to prayer  “one of the prettiest sounds on earth.” and even recited parts of it in Arabic!

The second closest thing to prayer that BO experienced was the Reverend Wright’s exhortations to God to damn America by sending our chickens home to roost. Butt back in those days, Big Guy was still a little tooted up from the night before. So, when he and Lady M and the rest of the folk went to the Reverend’s temple on Sunday mornings, he never actually heard a word that the man - who was like an uncle to him - said.

Butt like I told you, he was praying up a storm yesterday! He has begun to lose faith in his earth-bound prognosticators (and I’m not talking about Punxsutawney Phil) who have been so wrong as of late.

hillary, the clapper and Big Sis walk into a bar Hillary, Clapper and Big Sis walk into a bar…

He was told that after he proclaimed that Mubarak had to go, that would be the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal. And how’s that working out for him?

Next time he’s going to check on his advisors’ track record before listening. Turns out these were the same guys who thought Iran would transform to a secular democracy after the Shah’s removal, and that Chavez would help us fight the war on drugs. They also advised Al Gore that global warming would relegate snow to an anomaly available only in frozen treats in Hawaii and state fairs across America, and in the fanny-packs of Mexican mules streaming into Arizona.


So now we have this big old gnarly mess on our hands and all his advisors can tell him at this point is to pray. How is that helpful? Big Guy doesn’t even know for sure which Supreme Being to pray to: the one his mother introduced him to on Christmas one year when they went to church, or the one that his adoptive father introduced him to when he misbehaved in Jakarta, or the one that he’s always relied on in the past:


where'd that halo go Get me my halo back! Now!

haloThat’s better.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Prayin’ for Peace After the Wiki-Leak:UPDATE

campaign  beginsWe’ve got our campaign wardrobe and manners working overtime


Good Morning all. I’m off to the airport with Raj - we’re  going to Little Mo’s Dad’s 90th birthday party! The same day as Ronald Reagan’s 100th  – how great is that?

We’re flying commercial, since AF.5 has been pressed into service to fly Americans out of Cairo, so I don’t know what to expect from our Security Theatre agents. I’ll try to post more once we’re airborne, if that’s still allowed.

Just a couple of thoughts before I take to the friendly skies: I see the the Islamic fascists are simpatico with the Cairo uprising, saying it’s the best since the fall of the Shah of Iran. And we all see how well that worked out.

And on another (although not completely unrelated front), I see Julian Assange has been nominated this year’s Nobel Peace Prize. And that makes total sense, as he’s behind this latest round of peace talks in the Middle East by sharing important information on a need to know basis. Also, he shares the same kind of anti-Americanism that several former winners have demonstrated; plus, for the bonus round, he’s accused of raping several women. I’d say we have ourselves a winner.

Gotta’ run. Back as soon as Big Sis tells me it’s safe to go about my blogging again. In the meantime, please feel free to move about the commentary thread.

UPDATE: Well, we made it through security. Raj got probed and they found Little Mo in his pocket, so that took awhile. I had all my perimeter defenses working, plus my official Big White I.D., my super-secret spook credentials, and my aluminum foil, so I made it through the radar unscathed.

Regarding the “Praying for World Pieces” ensemble, I think it shows infinitely improved fashion sense reflective of the dark and difficult times we’re living in. Sort of a cross between Courreges and Chanel, don’t you think?

s17049-1 7184j


Tell me we’re not in high-campaign mode now:

kiss off

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Kate Betts, Donald Rumsfeld - Everyday Icon v Everyman Icon; Take Rummy, Give the Points

betts03 jacket       516x1hEVdML__SS500_

An Everyday Icon, and an American Icon: choose wisely, weedhoppers

This is your weekly book report, from MOTUS, your cub book reviewer in training.

First up, from Kate Betts former employer of Harpers, Women’s Wear Daily and Vogue – so obviously she knows fashion forward when she sees it – Everyday Icon: Michelle Obama and the Power of Style. You’ll get your money’s worth here, it’s packed with over 200 color photos! All of Lady M!

Butt let’s be honest, how many more MAO** fashion icon books can you really use? Also, as a stakeholder, I’m a little concerned that all this unbridled adulation might go to Lady M’s head.

“And whether she's rocking a designer gown, sporting a shirtwaist dress or kicking back in jeans and Converse sneakers, Obama, 47, is setting her own rules about what a first lady should wear…”

blue suade shoes Stylin’ britches and furry feet

"She allows us to be frivolous and feminine," Betts says. "It's the idea that you can wear a bright color or wear a floral-printed dress. You don't have to wear a pinstriped pantsuit. That's a big step for a lot of women in the corporate world."

232x463Butt if you are going to wear pinstripes, wear them boldly

"She's particularly statuesque and beautiful, so we're definitely paying attention to what she's wearing."


Garden statuary

"breaking all these rules about what we think a first lady should look like."

silver streakFLOTUS as a pinup model: something needs pinning up

So if George W. Bush’s recession has left you with very few shekels  for discretionary purchases, and you can only afford one book, I’m going to recommend Rummy’s new book, Known and Unknown, instead. It, too, will be out next week!

The second in a series of books by the three most-hated men in all of American history (George W’s book came out last November, and the Real Dick Cheney’s won’t be out until later this year), this one is especially good value, as it provides haters with 8 entire decades to get their hatin’ on! Even Sarah Palin can’t make that claim (she currently ranks #4 on the list, but has the potential for moving up much higher).

There’s one thing that everyone on the “Most Hated People of all Time” list  has in common: an ability to look you right in the eye and tell you the unvarnished truth. Civilized people absolutely hate that.

I can’t promise you that they’ll all be in his book, butt here are some of my all time favorite Rummy quotes. I think they’ll remind you why you should buy his book.

"If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much."


(or doing the wrong things)

  health-financial services Obamacare Bill

"Arguments of convenience lack integrity and inevitably trip you up."

SU32xov0h32vh6oPkmoGHuEspecially if you insist on never letting a crisis go to waste…

or create Won of your own: (OINK!)


click pics to linkwtf2

"Don't divide the world into "them" and "us." Avoid infatuation with or resentment of the press, the Congress, rivals, or opponents. Accept them as facts. They have their jobs and you have yours."

helen thomasEven if they get, or give, you tingles

"Too often management recommends plans that look like Bob Hope’s nose or a hockey stick.The numbers go down the first year or so and then up in the later years. If you accept hockey stick plans, you will find they will be proposed year after year."

group hugBig Guy signing the biggest hockey stick plan of all time: Obamacare

"Beware when any idea is promoted primarily because it is "bold, exciting, innovative, and new." There are many ideas that are "bold, exciting, innovative and new," but also foolish."

 obama change_motiv 

"If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't, I'll just respond, cleverly."

bojon Like on fake news shows

“There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.”

mubarak, netanyahu abbasSome of the unknown things we may or may not know we don’t know

“Don't speak ill of your predecessors or successors. You didn't walk in their shoes.”


Buy the book; John Wayne would want you to.


**MAO: Michelle Antoinette Obama, per MaryOhSoContrary 10-7-10 “I Wonder, Woman?”

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

They Also Serve Who Only Stand and Wait

I had a restless night, and every time I woke the television was playing the same thing, over and over again. I thought I was having the vapors until I realized that little Mo had tuned the TeeVee to a movie channel that was having a “Ground Hog Day” marathon. What a relief! We’ve got enough déjà vu going on around here with that whole Egyptian mess.

So let’s talk about other things, because after his address last night it look’s like Big Guy has the Egypt situation under control.

little presBO said the orderly transition "must be meaningful, must be peaceful, and must begin now." He was talking about the end of Mubarak’s government, not Obamacare.

I don’t know though, I just switched over to Fox News (I needed to use my tinfoil to tune it in, since it’s been blocked here at the Big White) and it looks like the chaos in Cairo has evolved into violent pandemonium. Maybe they haven’t heard Big Guy’s speech yet.

Other Big White events you should probably know about as you go about your daily business: a tiny little faux pas the other night involving Big Guy’s trusted Chicago advisor, ValJar.

You know the old saying “To a hammer, every problem looks like a nail?” Well, it looks like it has a corollary:  “To an imperialist, every uniform looks like a waiter.”

valerie jarrettValJar at the ill-fated Indian State Dinner 

Ok, Ok, it’s true. Val did ask a decorated US General to fetch her a glass of wine at a black tie dinner. Butt for goodness sake let’s take all of the circumstances into consideration before we jump to conclusions. For starters, the affair was held at the Alfalfa Club. The Alfalfa Club!? Isn’t that just a little racist?


Furthermore, Val worked hard to become an advisor to the Won: how about we just show her a little respect here.

And to be fair, had Big Guy been there, he likely would have thought the Corpseman looked like a waiter too. Racism has a way of making you view everything as a victim, which leads you to believe you are entitled to reparations, which naturally makes everyone your vassal.

So I hope you can see that this whole little mistake had nothing to do with elitism, and everything to do with racism.Butt there you go, making Val the victim all over again. Shame on you.

H/T Anonymouse and Bijou

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

“Baby, Baby! Where Did Our Love Go?”

Can you believe this!


Not constitutional! Not constitutional!! Obamacare not constitutional, my shiny backside!

Who appointed this judge any way? **

And since when does anyone have a problem with making people do things for their own good anyway?

“She’d have the government force that every individual buy insurance and I don’t have such a mandate because I don’t think the problem is that people don’t want health insurance, it’s that they can’t afford it.

I focus more on lowering costs. This is a modest difference. But, it’s one that she’s (Hillary) tried to elevate, arguing that because I don’t force people to buy healthcare that I’m not insuring everybody. If things were that easy, I could mandate everybody to buy a house, and that would solve the problem of homelessness. It doesn’t.”

Big Guy, on the Ellen DeGeneres show, 2008


And what’s this about the “severability clause” not being in the bill – it’s ALWAYS in the bills passed by the House! Oh.

In his 78-page ruling, Judge Vinson wrote that the entire law must be voided because the individual insurance mandate is "not severable" from the rest of the law. Some laws contain what's known as a severability clause that says the rest of the law stands should a judge strike down a piece of it. But Democrats left it out.

I forgot. Nancy did warn us that we had to pass the bill in order to find out what was, and what was NOT in the bill.

Pelosi Checking Obama

Butt here’s our plan: the Big White is going to ignore the ruling and carry on with the implementation of all  parts of the bill that provide benefits to anyone before the 2012 election, in order to lock up their votes. We won’t implement any of the rationing spending constraints, or reveal the huge deficits caused by the bill’s real costs until we are re-elected and everyone else is screwed covered by Obamacare.

This puppy’s headed to the Supremes. I think you can see now why it’s so important for us to finish stacking the court with our left-thinking allies. If we can’t get rid of one of those moderate-to-right-thinking jurists before Obamacare lands there, the Supremes are likely to rule against us.

President Obama Delivers State Union Address Y9WrLhR4FFwlThe Supremes at the 2010 SOTU. Elena gave us one more wise Jewess, butt we still need one more wise Latina, or –alternately- an enlightened Alinskyite.

And if that happens we’ll just have to adopt Chuckie Schummer’s reworked power structure: “you know, we have three branches of government. We have a House. We have a Senate. We have a president.”  Seriously, where do all these brilliant politicians come from? Oh, that’s right, Harvard Law School.


** Judge Vinson was appointed by Ronald Reagan. As if you didn’t know that.

*** Much more from the Washington Times

Monday, January 31, 2011

The Sun Sets on Sundance


lower main Skier’s Bridge, lower Main Street, Park City, UT

In case you’re interested, I just officially wrapped up my official Sundance responsibilities, so I guess I’ll be back on duty full time at the Big White – the only place on earth as fatuous as Bobby Redford’s little film festival.

There were some great bad movies this year and my last movie reviews are posted over on Dewey’s site. It was fun, butt I thought you should be the first to know: I’ve decided not to give up my day job. Sure, there are a lot of snakes around the Big White, but in the movie business, the snakes are the amateurs. And as they say: you’re usually better off with the devil you know rather than the devil you don’t know.

I think there’s a lesson in there somewhere - wrapped in an enigma, inside a conundrum. So it’s safe.

Until next year then, this is MOTUS, cub entertainment reporter signing off from Sundance. And that’s the way it is…

This is a Competition, NOT an Exhibition

axelrod_0323_480x360 Axe-man, headed back to organize the next Competition

Well, I will say, David Axelrod’s departing words before his send-off last Saturday go a long way towards explaining things around here.

“Elections are not referendums, they are contests…"

It appears the O-Team has a unique grip on this situation. Elections are not about referendums, or policies – they are popularity contests! How did I miss that? And Axe-man knows that without the help of “enthusiastic youth voters” next time around, Big Guy is probably not going to be “popular” enough to win the contest.

“Enthusiastic youth voters -- many engaged in politics for the first time -- helped fuel Obama's 2008 presidential bid. How will Obama win the votes of young voters who may face tough employment prospects?

"We need to communicate vigorously with them," Axelrod said. "... I think younger people more readily than anybody should appreciate what the president -- and will appreciate what the president -- was saying the other night,”

WTF! Now I get it!!! the Win the Future program is for the ‘yoot’ of America! We’re just speaking their language.

Here’s where Axe starts to get a little murky though:

"And so, well, [former President] Clinton repositioned himself and, you know, [Obama] must be repositioning himself. I think what we've done is we've returned to first principles. So much of what he's done is a reflection of things that he said for a long time.


Let me see if I can help explain: we’re repositioning Big Guy so he can return to his first principles: big government, big spending, big Sis, big debt, all the same big ideas that he’s been ramming down everyone’s throat since he WON the big contest. All the big ideas that voters seemed to reject last November - No, I guess I can’t help after all.

We’ll just have to take Axe-man’s words at face value: we’re not going to change anything other than the scenery. That way maybe people will think they’re watching a whole new play.

barneys basement via rants WTF Now! The Road Version

And it’s always good to have entertainment going on to distract people from potentially upsetting news. Like Cairo burning:


Butt don’t worry, Big Guy is not resting until the entire situation is resolved.   Oh sure we went to the Wee Won’s Basketball game on Saturday morning – we are parents first and foremost after all.

garden boots Returning from the Wee Won’s game in our Jimmy Choo’s: hey! we forgot the Wee Won!

And then we had to go to Axe-man’s party Saturday night – as reported by Gateway Pundit:

As thirty years of United States Middle East strategy teeters on collapse, Barack Obama spent Saturday night at a going away party for David Axelrod who is leaving the administration to set up Obama’s reelection campaign in Chicago. The party was held at the Dupont Circle condo of former Obama aide Linda Douglass.

Everyone was there.  You want names?  Arne Duncan; Steve Chu; Tim Geithner; Julianna Smoot; Bill Burton; Jay Carney; Carol Browner; Axelrod's assistant Eric Lesser, Jon Favreau; Samantha Power and Cass Sunstein; Stephanie Cutter; Reggie Love; Dan Pfeiffer; David Plouffe; Maureen Dowd; E.J. Dionne; Ed Henry; Gwen Ifill; Judy Woodruff; Major Garrett, Jake Tapper, Chuck Todd and many, many others...

Who would’ve missed that party! Well, Lady M skipped it. She had to wash her “hair.”

Axe-man’s last official duty was to explain the one, and only, minor fault during his tenure:

"If we were guilty of anything the first two years, it was we were getting so in the weeds of governance that we did not articulate consistently our principles, our values and our vision. But the principles, values and vision that he is projecting now are completely consistent,"

In all my years in Washington D.C., that has been the only mistake the Democratic party has ever admitted to made: they just didn’t get their message out. Butt, since, as the Axe pointed out right up front, it’s really just a popularity contest, that’s not as big an issue as you might fear. And it would never occur to anyone around here that the message made it out altogether too well, and people just didn’t like it.

O mullahs Who will be the last man standing in the Middle East?

And remember, this is a competition, not an exhibition: no wagering, please.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

“Wear What You Love”

We’re taking a little break from world affairs today to focus on a few other pressing issues: Elocution, fashion and nutrition.

We’ll examine all three from Lady M’s very tough interview with ABC’s hard hitting Good Morning America reporter, Robin Roberts:



ROBERTS: At a Baptist church in West Columbia. And to think about the conversation we had then, when your husband was a Senator, to now. Do you think about the arc of your life these last few years?

MICHELLE OBAMA: You know, there are moments. But, you know, things are so busy and so hectic, and with the girls and trying to keep them grounded. You know, I think that that's my natural state, is to just keep moving forward. So, I don't know that I can do it any differently. You know, maybe when it's all really, really over and there's a little breathing time and I look back, I can reflect. But right now, there's just so much in front of us, so much potential, so much opportunity, to make a difference that, you know, my days are filled with that. But one of these days, you know? Reflection will be a good- a good thing.

You know, I would have thought that someone at Princeton, or even Harvard Law School, might have suggested that Lady M work on that verbal tic. You know?

On to the kickoff of the 2012 campaign:


ROBERTS: …Everyone was really moved to see you next to Gabby Giffords' husband as you were clinging and holding his hand. Personally, Mrs. Obama, when you went there for the first time and met with the heroes and met with the victims and met with the families, what was that like for you personally?

mark kelly

MICHELLE OBAMA: You know, spending time with those families and seeing their strength, it gives you hope. It gives you clarity about who we are as a nation. 'Cause sometimes we got lost in the bad stuff that happens and the back and forth.

Then a shift to our international social calendar: did she and Big Guy receive their invitation to Will and Kate’s wedding yet:


ROBERTS: Would you like to attend the wedding?

MICHELLE OBAMA: You know, I think just like any couple, they should invite who they want to invite to their wedding. You know? This is a personal, private thing, you know?.

And Robin didn’t steer clear of other sensitive subjects either:

ROBERTS: Then, you don't have to worry about what to wear. And  speaking of what to wear, at the recent state dinner for China, the First Lady caused quite a stir for not choosing a gown designed by an American. Does that get old, though? Whether it's- And I know you received some criticism from Oscar De La Renta.

MICHELLE OBAMA: Women, wear what you love. That's all you can say. That's my motto. I wear what I like because...I gotta be in the dress, so...

                     article-1348813-0CD55C90000005DC-837_634x618witchessat dinner back view


It doesn’t matter what it looks like, as long as you love it.

It's nice to have on a nice suit.

annotated walmart suit

But it's nicer to change a generation, in terms of their health. It's a better use of my time to focus on rallying this country around our military families. I mean, there's so much that I hope to do in this role, that makes a difference in people's lives.

Oh my yes! Much nicer to change a generation’s health. We’re going to tailor your health much the same way we tailored this nice suit. There’s so much more she’d like to do in this role.

And because she has her heart set on making everyone healthier by eating organic fruits and vegetables, I’m not going to share this article that El Rushbo mentioned last week. I think it might upset Lady M’s apple cart – literally. Butt I’ll share it with you because I think you would want to know.

It’s in an article by Zoe Harcombe, a nutritionist, obesity researcher and author: Five-a-day: We’ve all been duped. It’s a good thing she’s from Great Britain, because otherwise we would probably have to slap her with a preliminary net-neutrality restraining order for propagating such nutritional heresy.

By all means, read the whole thing, butt here are a few select excerpts for your consideration:

  • So how have we been duped for so long? You might assume our five-a-day ­fixation is based on firm evidence. But you’d be wrong. It started as a marketing campaign dreamt up by around 20 fruit and veg ­companies and the U.S. National Cancer Institute at a meeting in California in 1991.

Some of you might know that the USDA’s food pyramid has been around since 1894 and has changed multiple times based on research findings (often wrong, and later reversed) and “input” from many vested interests including lobbyists for the processed food industry. Butt don’t let that color your view of the original nutritional information coming from our government. Lady M’s team has finally got it right. Other questionable information from Zoe:

  • The facts are these. There are 13 vitamins and fruit is good for one of them, vitamin C.
  • Vegetables offer some vitamins — vitamin C and the vegetable form of the fat-soluble vitamins A and vitamin K1 — but your body will be able to absorb these only if you add some fat, such as butter or olive oil.
  • The useful forms of A and K — ­retinol and K2 respectively — are found only in animal foods. As for minerals, there are 16 and fruit is good for one of them, potassium, which is not a substance we are often short of, as it is found in water.
  • Vegetables can be OK for iron and calcium but the vitamins and minerals in animal foods (meat, fish, eggs and dairy products) beat those in fruit and vegetables hands down. There is far more vitamin A in liver than in an apple, for instance.
  • But natural fats such as those in eggs, meat and fish should not be demonised alongside trans-fats. They are essential to our wellbeing and they are what we’ve lived on for thousands of years.
  • According to a recent survey, the British people are deficient in ­vitamins A, D, E — all of which are fat-soluble. If we added a dollop of butter to our portion of vegetables, they would be better for us — not worse.

So, given the confusion coming from the “nutrition experts,” I think we should follow Lady M’s advice, and live by her motto, (paraphrased): Women, eat what you love!

  cookie monster I know MO does

And that’s all I have to say about that.