Saturday, November 10, 2012

A Post-Election Reflection

Maybe you’ve never heard of Joe Pags. I hadn’t until I ran across him on Chicks on the Right. This clip is from his show last week; he’s talking to a – theoretically - conservative Christian caller as she attempts to explain why she voted for Big Guy (spoiler: Pags reveals she has no reason). I encourage you to listen to Every. Single. Minute. It may not necessarily make you feel better, butt it sure will help you grasp the extent of the stupidity in America we need to dispel.

(via the awesome Chicks on the Right)

This is from Joe Pags’ column on the same subject:

Let’s face facts. Democrats gained in the House of Representatives, the Senate and the chief Democrat in charge was re-elected after one of the worst four year periods in American history, economically and constitutionally. How does that happen? Republicans/Conservatives (which are not necessarily interchangeable terms — but, we’ll lump them together for the sake of this column) gave voters credit for being smart while Democrats assumed they’re not. Let’s break down what Obama, Pelosi, Reid, the Obama SuperPACs, et. all were saying for a year and a half:

  • Republicans are prosecuting a war on women
  • Romney only cares about his rich friends and Wall Street
  • Romney is responsible for the death of a woman by somehow giving her cancer
  • Romney specialized in closing down businesses, laying people off and outsourcing jobs — especially to China
  • Romney is a liar. All he does is lie. And, after he lies, he lies about the lies he told.
  • Republicans are trying to outlaw contraception
  • Republicans are trying to close down Planned Parenthood to stop women from getting cancer screenings
  • Republicans want to put all Latinos on buses and send them back to Mexico
  • Republicans think rape is okay — and women should just stop talking about it
  • Republicans all own stock in oil companies and are forcing gas prices up
  • Republicans want to give rich people a tax break and make the poor and Middle Class to make up the difference
  • Romney hates half the country (47%)
  • Romney will end Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid

Only problem with that list is, not one bit of it is true. Republicans/conservatives assumed everyone hearing this list of Democrat/liberal talking points would know it was completely false. They gave the American people credit for being smart enough to know better. Millions are and do — but, unfortunately, more millions aren’t and don’t. Here’s a list filled with the absolute truth about the last four years:

  • Gas prices doubled
  • Obama said no to the Keystone XL Pipeline
  • Obama sent billions to Brazil to drill there
  • Food prices have soared
  • Unemployment is higher than the day he took office
  • Obama apologized around the world for the United States of America
  • His DOJ refused to prosecute voter intimidation by the New Black Panther Party
  • Obama promised to cut the debt in half in his first four years — has doubled it
  • Obama will now cut military spending
  • Obama refuses to answer questions on what happened the night four Americans died in Benghazi
  • Obama has used Executive Privilege to continue stonewalling on Fast and Furious
  • Obama has bragged about bypassing Congress repeatedly
  • Obama has sued states for passing immigration laws
  • Obama has sued states for passing Voter ID laws
  • Obama and the Dems forced through Obamacare by lying about abortion and raising taxes
  • Ran on a platform to raise taxes in his second term
  • Obama blew billions on failed energy companies
  • Obama has grown government to its biggest size in history
  • Obama told Russia he can do more after the election
  • Obama Told NASA to include Muslims more
  • Obama Flip-flopped on gay marriage
  • Obama is forcing religions to offer contraception even if it goes against their beliefs
  • Obama is the most vehement supporter of abortion we’ve ever had in the White House

These are all facts. That’s just a short list of what this wannabe dictator has done in four years and Republicans/conservatives know how outrageous this administration has been and made a bad assumption that the American people were smart and would know how horrible these things are and this administration has been. Bad assumptions.

When facts do not matter, we need a plan people. I will be working on one with Dewey and Little Mo in the days ahead. Because we refuse to go gently into that goodnight:

We conservatives, we do not accept bipartisanship in the pursuit of tyranny. Period. We will not negotiate the terms of our economic and political servitude. Period. We will not abandon our child to a dark and bleak future. We will not accept a fate that is alien to the legacy we inherited from every single future generation in this country. We will not accept social engineering by politicians and bureaucrats who treat us like lab rats, rather than self-sufficient human beings. (snip)

We are the alternative. We will resist. We're not going to surrender to this. We will not be passive, we will not be compliant in our demise. We're not good losers, you better believe we're sore losers! A good loser is a loser forever. Now I hear we're called 'purists.' Conservatives are called purists. The very people who keep nominating moderates, now call us purists the way the left calls us purists. Yeah, things like liberty, and property rights, individual sovereignty, and the Constitution, and capitalism. We're purists now. Mark Levin

Remember: we are all Brietbart now.

obama will not eat breitbart's dog-2 copy

Oh, and that reminds me: in addition to the real state of the economy, the truth behind Benghazi, the incredible f-up of the government’s response to Hurricane Sandy, and the Iranian attack on our drone, here’s another thing that the media held off on until after the election: criticizing BO for eating dogs in public. 

bo weiner dog copy

I, for one, think this criticism is long overdue.

Now get out there and enjoy your weekend; just because it won’t roll around again for another seven days is no reason not to make the most of this one. We will dispatch the bullies is due time.

Calvin’s plan for dealing with the bully:

calvin bullies2

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Cover on Hometalk Break, and MRM on twitter, and Cmblake6’s Weblog, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Having Hit the Jackpot, We are Leaving Las Vegas With Your Money

Two days, and a 420 point drop on the Dow Jones average? Sheeze! What does the market know that we don’t? And come to think of it, what else don’t we know?  And why don’t we know it?

You might think it’s something serious, since it's reduced BO to tears twice in the  past week alone.

bo weeps againHow many times do I have to tell you: THERE’S NO CRYING IN POLITICS!!!

Don’t worry, it’s not real and here’s an upside: since John-boy and BO have both been able to get in touch with their girly sides, it looks like they’ll be able to get together and work through their feelings on the pending fiscal Armageddon. I predict they’ll reach an amiable agreement on both tax increases and spending cuts. I smell an $18 trillion debt ceiling for Christmas!

And even though I know we’ve still got 4 more years to sludge through around here, finishing what we started and all, I can report that Big Guy’s already thinking about his next gig. Once his work is finally done around here.

So if you think that any of the recent displays of emotion from old “no drama Obama”  were real, slap yourself. He’s actually just been taking the “ultimate acting challenge” - faking sincerity; in case the silver screen comes calling. He had an advantage, given his current line of work, and his natural skill at this stuff was obvious in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. So I think he’s a shoo-in.

Think about it: ever since this country located the one diamond in Hollywood’s coal pile (please: no racial or carbon jokes or complaints) that could both act and lead the free world, every two-bit actor who hit the box office jackpot thinks they can be a politician.

baldwin mayor ny

So why shouldn’t it work the other way around? Why can’t a two-bit politician who hit the political jackpot likewise be able to ply his trade in Hollywood?

Since governing is now more about knowing how to be a celebrity and acting like a leader than knowing how to actually lead, acting is a natural career track for retiring heads of state. Hollywood is always doing blockbusters about historic and fictional  presidents, monarchs, dictators, potentates and mob bosses, so it’s not as if the roles won’t be there for BO. Especially since he has transformed us into a post-racial society.

newsweek little napoleonYes this is real: sometimes you can’t make this crap up

Of course he’ll have to audition. He understands that: it’s still usually a ritual for political jobs too.

obama why do you disrespect me so  "Don't be so f***in' smart. Things could've gone the other way, my little nephew." Sopranos: Season 2, Episode 2: "Do Not Resuscitate"

At least I HOPE, and assume, that this tape that recently came to be in by possesssion is an audition:

[A reading from the unreleased script for The Godfather IV, secretly taped in an undisclosed location by Little Mo, still undercover somewhere] (h/t The Godfather)

boehner bo

Don Obama: I understand. You found paradise in the House of Representatives, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The Republican party protected you and there was Fox News. And you didn't need a friend like me. But, now you come to me, and you say: "Barack, give me a tax cut." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house, on the day of my historic re-election and you ask me to do this for you.

John Boehner: I ask for justice.

    Don Obama: That is not justice. The rich can afford a little more.

        John Boehner: How much shall I pay you?

Don Obama: Boehner, Boehner. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this debt ceiling fight would have ended this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies in your party, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

John Boehner: Be my friend – Godfather. [Boehner sheds a tear, bows toward the Barack and kisses the Barack's hand.
Don Obama: Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me: perhaps comprehensive immigration reform. But until that day – accept this justice as a gift on my historic re-election day.

Barack-Obama-tear cry-002

Honest to Pete, these two deserve each other. Weepy little girly men.

So what do you say we wrap the week up with a little fun music. I wish I could’ve presented it to you under better circumstances, butt as we say in politics “It is what it is - until such time as it isn’t.”  It’s Michael McDonald (Doobie Brothers) Don Fagin (Steely Dan) doing Jackie Wilson’s old soul standard “Lonely Teardrops” as heard at the beginning of Leaving Las Vegas. Watch, listen, enjoy what woulda coulda shoulda been:

worth watching to the end

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Thursday, November 8, 2012


Butt first, a Public Service Announcement for the victims of Hurricane Sandy:

fema closed

Stay home, we’re closed. Oh, I forgot: you don’t have a home, do you? Well in that case get back to us after the storm and we’ll see what we can do.

ELECTION-DAY-2012“You’re doing a heck of a job, Brownie” (h/t G.W.Bush)

Anyway, on a different front, and having had a little more time to think things through, I have a few more random thoughts on Big Guy’s reelection:

Even though BO is the epitome of Jimmy Carter on steroids, and everything was shaping up for a Jimmy Carter style shellacking, the culture of the country has been so fundamentally transformed since then it was silly to expect the same outcome. For instance, back in 1980 the only Muslims anyone in American had ever heard of were the Ayatollah and Cassius Clay:


And take a look at how our demographics have changed since then: Big Guy won on Tuesday partially because he got 71% (!) of the Hispanic vote. Butt back in 1980 Jimmy Carter could have gotten 100% of the Hispanic vote and it wouldn’t have moved the needle. So I think we can now safely conclude that our new policy of unsealing the border is what sealed the deal for the Won.

Indeed, due to America’s ongoing commitment to fairness and diversity, the number of non-white voters has tripled in the past 40 years; much of that due to changes in both our official and unofficial immigration policy.


1912 policy, 2012 policy

The result of the change has been a huge upsurge of voters who are recent immigrants (legal and illegal - we no longer discriminate because that would be racist). They’ve all come here for a better life, butt unfortunately only some of them came to work for it. So while we are all working (literally) to give everyone else (citizen or not) a “fair shot” at a “better life,” all they have to do to ensure themselves of a better life is to somehow get here and pull the “D” lever. I’m not sure how that’s “fair” butt then again, I just reflect, I don’t decide.


Why, it’s no wonder Chrissy Matthews thinks we’ve turned into a Third World country when it comes to voting:

“We begin to act like a Third World country — and I mean no disrespect to Third World countries here — when we start having elections you can’t trust because they keep changing the game and the rule,”

Or maybe that wasn’t what he meant. Anyway, it’s unfortunate that once we took the “work” requirement out of the “better life” part, we created a whole new cultural phenomenon. El Rushbo calls it the Santa Claus effect. I would call it “buying votes” except for the fact I know that’s illegal.

free-obama-phone-votersButt it still walks like a duck…

So no, it really isn’t the same world we were dealing with way back in 1980. Oh sure, the Iranians and their allies in the Mideast (EBI - everyone butt Israel) still wish “Death to America.” And now that we’ve allowed them to develop modern weapons with which to wage their ancient war (h/t George Carlin) we have even more to worry about than one mad Ayatollah holding a few hostages in Tehran.


Butt lets be honest, angry mobs at the gates of our embassies in foreign countries around the world demonstrating against “disgusting and reprehensible” videos that our First Amendment still somehow allows U.S. citizens to make is only one of problems. We have domestic issues to work out as well:

“…conservatives ought to recognize that our deeper problems ... are cultural, not political, and are therefore not susceptible of a political solution. The social state was intended to be such a solution: but even were its ever-expanding programs fiscally sustainable, its ideal of social welfare would still be paltry substitute for the older, better approach to the good life it was meant to replace.”

We’ve got to somehow figure out how to give these people more stuff!

This is the only conclusion I’ve been able to draw from all this so far: Big Guy’s decision to forget about the white male middle-class voters was a good one. Who needs them when we can far more easily buy the votes of the blacks, the browns and 70% of the single ladies?

Butt getting back to our immigration “policy:” I’m going to give America an “A” in diversity and an F in prudence and self-preservation. Since we mark on the curve, that’s still a solid B+.

So I don’t know if you care that Lady M chose an old Michael Kors frock from her closet for the victory party Tuesday night, or that she previously wore it at a ceremony bestowing the Medal of Honor on Army hero Staff Sergeant Salvatore Giunta, or if there is any significance to that coincidence.

  155691938moh 2010

Butt I am pretty sure you will want to know that the boob belt is back in all its glory:

mo boob belt

We’ll be seeing quite a bit of it again as MO considers it a good luck charm, sort of  an amulet of sorts.

amulet series

Say! That could be really useful! I think I better get one too.

MOTUS boob belt copy



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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The day after

day after still empty

The good news is, we survived the storm. The bad news is, we survived the storm. And the chair’s still empty.


Smile: Nat King Cole


This year’s popularity contest turned out to be very expensive. Here we are, $2 billion later and basically back to exactly where we started. Campaigns seem to operate with as much efficiency as the government.

If there is a moral to this story it is that voting is indeed the best revenge. Better, even, than voting your lady parts.

Revenge-S2Spoilers0912Of course if you vote for both revenge and your lady parts, you end up with 70% of the single lady vote.

Do nice guys always finish last? Apparently. And assuredly, when the only kind of class anyone will vote for anymore is “warfare.”

class warIf these are your foot soldiers, you might want to consider mercenaries. Oh, I forgot, you already use them!

As future historians sift through the ashes of the devastating fire of 2012 they will no doubt find all the usual suspects:

  • Bush (nobody could have gotten us out of the hole he dug!),

bush miss me yet

  • the Republican candidate (he wasn’t conservative/mean/non-Mormon enough),

romney2lets vote for the other guyAnd did I mention he wears magic underwear?

  • the100 year hurricane (it made the Won look like a god again)

121101-obama-sandyDid I mention he wears magic shoes?

  • the complicity of the media in advancing the Democratic agenda (duh!):

Somebody — was it Burke? — called journalism the fourth estate. That was true at the time no doubt. But at the present moment it is the only estate. It has eaten up the other three. The Lords Temporal say nothing, the Lords Spiritual have nothing to say, and the House of Commons has nothing to say and says it. We are dominated by Journalism. Oscar Wilde

The veracity of the candidates will not be discussed, as lying is a given in politics. Besides, truth no longer matters in our classless society of class warfare voters. The end justifies the means and all, you know.

calvin.jends justify meanspg

Butt in the final analysis the only blame to be placed is on the electorate itself. As the final tally indicates, Romney was correct all along: 47% of the country will never vote the non-Democratic ticket: most minorities, youth, union members and anybody else who wants free stuff. Together they form a coalition of the aggrieved and entitled and as such they will, in the words of Robert Heinlein (h/t Grace) “always vote (their) own self-interest as he sees it…which for the majority translates as ‘Bread and Circuses.’”

So with all due respect Big Guy, I must disagree with your acceptance speech: yes we most assuredly are “as divided as our politics suggest.” The optimists in our midst on both sides of the divide say we must carryon, as that is what the republic dictates. Indeed. In the short term we have no other option since, as Lyndon Johnson told us (h/t Cripes Suzette), a nation divided cannot stand:

…as your President, I have put the unity of the people first. I have put it ahead of any divisive partisanship. And in these times as in times before, it is true that a house divided against itself by the spirit of faction, of party, of region, of religion, of race, is a house that cannot stand.

Butt neither can a moral and/or fiscally bankrupt nation. If Big Guy doesn’t find a way to unite the two Americas he created by carving us out by faction, party, region, religion and race, our fiscal house will never be righted, let alone our constitutional house. In that eventuality we are headed down a long, dusty road.

There is division in the American house now. There is divisiveness among us all tonight. And holding the trust that is mine, as President of all the people, I cannot disregard the peril to the progress of the American people and the hope and the prospect of peace for all peoples. So, I would ask all Americans, whatever their personal interests or concern, to guard against divisiveness and all its ugly consequences.

Hey, maybe I should give Big Guy an iPod with that presidential speech on it.

So saddle-up cowboys and cowgals!  We’ve got a country to save here. Let’s ride! And I don’t mean into the sunset.

for-a-few-dollars-more-1“Who wants a president who will knowingly, repeatedly tell you something he knows is not true?” Bill Clinton

Well, Bubba, apparently 50% of the American people. And who would know that better than you?

clinton pointed his finger at us“I did not…” oh heck, you know how it goes…

Pick Yourself Up: Diana Krall

Today, we lick our wounds and cry exactly 4 more tears. Tomorrow, we mobilize to take America back. Again!

Oh, and by the way, the Tea Party called they want their country back too:



Dear Motus,

I know how you feel this morning. The reelection of President Obama and continued Democratic control of the Senate means we have serious challenges ahead of us. 

But I'm writing to offer you hope. Since this grassroots movement for freedom began just a few years ago, we've accomplished so much.

In 2010, we elected a massive freshmen class of principled conservatives in the House of Representatives. In 2012, we've expanded that caucus by defeating numerous Democratic incumbents and replacing them with conservative leaders like Jackie Walorski of Indiana, Andy Barr of Kentucky, Mark Meadows of North Carolina, and more.

We also elected Marco Rubio, Mike Lee, Rand Paul, and a new fiscally conservative core in the Senate two years ago. This election, we've expanded their ranks with newly-minted Senators Ted Cruz of Texas, Deb Fischer of Nebraska, and Jeff Flake of Arizona. 

We drove the national political conversation on our issues of constitutionally limited government, free markets, and individual liberty. Candidates who ran on and articulated our message not only created a clear choice for voters but were overwhelmingly victorious in this election. That is the power of our ideas and our movement.

This election we made millions of phone calls, distributed millions of campaign materials, and took our message across our nation. More importantly, we've grown this decentralized, grassroots community into a larger, stronger, permanent force for freedom. And we aren't going away.

We've accomplished so much, but clearly, our work is not done. I want to thank you for all your hard work and your tireless support. 

We must never give up. We must never stop fighting. America's future depends on it.

Thank you again.

In Liberty,


Matt Kibbe

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Slouching Towards Washington

So certain was I that this great burden would be lifted from our shoulders that I failed to write a post in the event I was still employed as of this morning.

So as we slouch towards Gomorrah Washington I give you William Butler Yeats: reflecting on the beast slouching towards Bethlehem.


    Turning and turning in the widening gyre
    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity.

    Surely some revelation is at hand;
    Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
    The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
    When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
    Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
    A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
    A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
    Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
    Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.

    The darkness drops again but now I know
    That twenty centuries of stony sleep
    Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
    And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
    Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?


I will be back a bit later this morning, after I hack up this hairball.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

UPDATED: And so we finish where we started…


Well, it’s a wrap! One way or the other.

BK-via-BGH/T BKeyser via BlondeGator

Bo and MO ended the interminable campaign last night with a concert in Des Moines. In a half-empty (or half-full, depending on how full your glass is) auditorium.

closing bo rally

Bruce Springsteen just doesn’t seem to have the appeal he once did.

I guess the campaign Big Brains liked the symmetry of wrapping up in the very place Big Guy began his ascendency way back in 2008. But seriously, who authorized this poster:

finish where we started

Finish where we started” – FINISH? does anybody around here even read copy anymore? And to think - we used to be so good at messaging.

Earlier in the day Big Guy joined Jay-Z in Columbus for another huge rally with the rapper customizing a version of his big hit “99 Problems” by cleverly replacing his signature “b**ch word with “Mitt” in order to rap “I got 99 problems but Mitt ain’t one.” I’m not sure, butt I think he was endorsing Big Guy. Some other people were confused too, because I heard one guy holler out “Hey Jay-Z, I’ve got news for you: America’s got 16 trillion problems, and Mitt ain’t one of them either!”

Like I said, we used be so good at messaging:


Butt back to Des Moines (pork capital of America, coincidentally); Bruce Springsteen rocked the half-full house. He even wrote a special song for the event called “FORWARD!” in honor of our newest, and last, campaign motto.

"Not the best I've ever written. How many things rhyme with Obama?" he asked.

“Trauma” comes to mind, butt perhaps not especially useful for artistic purposes. Or political.

Before joining Big Guy in the pork capital, Lady M was busy stirring up the troops in Florida. She was pretty emotional:

"Together, slowly but surely, we have been pulling ourselves out of that hole that we started in," Obama said, casting her husband's first term in office as a difficult but productive road to economic recovery.


mo shovel jelloIt must have been all those shovel ready jobs that did the trick.

Declaring “we are going to get this done,” an emotional Michelle Obama rallied a central Florida crowd Monday night.

Obama-Presidency-By-The-Numbers“Done” – it has more than one connotation.

“Your president is nowhere near satisfied,” she said, making the pitch for a second term for her husband, President Barack Obama.


obama just a big empty holeWow! I didn’t think you could do that with a shovel! I think I’ll run for a second term after all!

But Michelle Obama warned that the president needs every vote he can get.

"Don't let anybody push you out of line," the first lady said, telling those who haven't voted yet to get to the polls early.


Screenshot Studio capture #674Don’t worry, the New Black Panthers will be there to ensure you don’t get bullied by those racist Romney supporters.

And then, just for good measure, she sent out an inspirational Tweet to encourage all you folks to get to the polls:

mo tweets imagine

Here are a few things the “folks” have been able to imagine so far:

  • 16% unemployment,
  • $32 trillion debt,
  • gas @$7.60 a gallon,
  • a poverty rate of 23%,
  • a $10 trillion deficit,
  • 2 more empathetic Supreme Court Justices,
  • another dead ambassador,
  • another dead border patrolman,
  • many more dead former Navy Seals,
  • another 2000 guns walking into the hands of Mexican drug cartels,
  • a lot more “flexibility” with Russia on our missile defense systems,
  • a nuclear Iran,
  • Israel - gone,
  • EPA shut down on all gas and oil drilling,
  • EPA shut down on coal mining and coal run generation plants,
  • the price of electricity tripling,
  • the price of food doubling,
  • 50 more bankrupt Solyndras…
  • Oh yeah - and “Death Panels” to hand out the “pain pills”

On second thought, maybe it would be best if you just took your thinking cap off before entering the  voting booth,


and replace it with the old, standard issue cap:

columbian obot

Anyway, then it was on to Iowa where MO joined BO for the final rally.

mo open wide

Emotions were running high all around:

obama tearsWhat’s this !? Tears? There are no tears in politics!

It’s almost as if Big Guy knows something we don’t. I’m afraid at this point, we can only HOPE. For CHANGE.

obama sunset-finalIt’s going to be a glorious sunset!


I know the “Gentleman's Agreement” with our lapdogs in the MSM is that exit poll results and outcome predictions will not be released, by journOlists before all the polls close (unless Big Guy needs a boost). Butt I’m not a MSM journOlist. So, I’ve decided to release my predictions of the outcome of this historic election. Now!

My predictions are the result of my “U-Predict: Election Results” android app analysis of election trends, polling models and data going back to the election of Richard Milhous Nixon in 1972:


Demographic shifts, economic issue variables and a tip from Dewey about Michigan, are also included in my analysis.

An now, my W.A.G. on this election is (drum roll please):


Other bold predictions (probably way more scientific than mine) include Michael Barone:


and Karl Rove:


So, keep a smile on you face and faith in your heart.

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