No Time To Explain, Just Get IN

Pro-tip: self reliance does not mean stocking up on toilet paper and hand sanitizer.

Whoo-hoo, what a week! Hard to believe that the Mardi Gras wrapped up just 17 days ago. If we knew then what we know now the very public celebrations would have been cancelled…

and all those colorful masks would have been re-purposed for Wuhan Flu™ protection.

Instead we’ve been forced to face the fire-breathing Chinese dragon virus without the protection of the N95 respirator masks…

The racist Chinese Dragon spewing Wuhan Flu™ viruses all over the place

most of which are made in China.

This of course has led to great panic

and dire predictions.

In fact the panic has gotten so bad that Mexico is now considering closing THEIR border with the USA! Oh the irony.

But forget all that, it’s…Caturday! Jump in and embrace the flush.

Going Downhill, Fast

People’s sheeple mentality is so predictable. And nobody knows how to weaponize this built in glitch better than Democrats, as Roger Kimball reminds us:

The Wuhan Panic is a textbook case of the Rahm Emanuel principle that you never want a good crisis to go to waste. Emanuel helped Barack Obama weaponize the government against freedom in the aftermath of the financial meltdown of 2008. The Dems and their megaphones in the media are trying to do the same thing now in the face of the spread of the Wuhan Virus. In about three weeks, maybe four, it will all be over and many people will feel sheepish about their overreaction. In the meantime, everyone seems to be signing up to be an extra in The Seventh Seal.

The stock market is collapsing, paper products of all sort have virtually disappeared from store shelves along with hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes and face masks.

Well done, but don’t stop there!

This week administrative and elected leaders everywhere have discovered their inner autocrat and began closing or cancellation everything from school concerts to major league sports. If you don’t believe me check your email. I’ve received messages from every organization that has ever had my email address telling me what extraordinary measures they are taking to protect me, including closing venues and cancelling events. And of course every communique ends up by telling me to wash my hands. By the time this is over we will all be OCD.

Here in Utah the governor has called for the cancellation of all gatherings over 100 people. I don’t even think that’s constitutional but we’ve been conditioned to not question our overlords.

“Today we stopped making decisions based on the hope that things will get better,” Herbert said in announcing the voluntary guideline.

Senior centers, arts venues, the Utah State Prison and others are closing access or canceling events — adding to a snowball of announcements that began with the NBA suspending its season this week…” – SLT

I read that as “Today we stopped making decisions based on common sense and rational thinking.” 

I need a break from this sheeple mentality so we’re going skiing. Plenty of fresh air and sunshine - and you get to choose your own course down the mountain.

Love In the Time of COVID-19

I know it’s Throwback Thursday but first this breaking news of Love In the Time of COVID-19: Ilhan Omar announces that she married her campaign dude with whom she reportedly had an affair.

The tweet stream comments are hysterical, e.g. “Oh brother, where art thou?” Were I given to responding to random tweets, which I’m not, I probably would have tweeted this:

“Hi, I’m Larry,  this is my brother Daryll and this is my other brother Daryll.”

Which of course is a throwback to the old 1980s Newhart show – and what a great show it was.

So there you have it, I’ve officially done my job today. The rest is on you.

Rub a Dub Dub or Hey Diddle Diddle

I can’t really explain why, but the results of yesterday’s Democrat primaries reminded me of this animation from a 1979 Soviet/Russian animated film.

Faster! Higher! Stronger!

Maybe it’s because they both conjured thoughts of this nursery rhyme:

Hey, diddle, diddle,

The cat and the fiddle,

The cow jumped over the moon;

The little dog laughed

To see such sport,

And the dish ran away with the spoon.

    It’s a nonsense poem designed to please children with highly effective imaginary visuals.

But the poem for some reason reminded me of the old joke about a pilot returning from a mission but couldn’t locate his aircraft carrier. He circled the Naval formation below and because secure communication was required radioed “ Rub a dub dub, where’s my tub?” To which he received the following response: “Hey diddle diddle, it’s right in the middle.”

Rub a Dub Dub and Hey Diddle Diddle – I doubt either of them will make it over the moon

   

     I can’t explain any of this, I suspect it has something to do with Daylight Saving Time.

It’s Taco Tuesday: Everybody Chill

I know, I know: the sky is still falling, along with the Dow. The Coronavirus is still causing runs on hand sanitizer, toilet paper and sanity. Joey B is still threatening to get the old band back together and Bernie is still insisting that “democratic socialism” is way different than “authoritarian communism” – although they are notoriously known for cross-breeding.

I sent my absentee ballot in for Michigan’s primary several weeks ago and I always have at least a 2 week supply of paper products and food on hand. Therefore I’m suspending my deep concern for the future of the country, along with what I hope are my irrational fears of a market collapse and the coming plague. Instead I’m going to focus completely on Taco Tuesday.

This week I’m sharing some sage advice for the lovelorn.

And guys - some Taco Tuesday advice for you as well:

Of course long term relationships with another person are notoriously complicated, why not settle for a transitory but satisfying liaison with a good taco? Once you maneuver around the tricky “appropriation” allegation associated with Taco Tuesdays, tacos can be true Social Justice Warrior fare. They bridge the intersectionality of several key SJW concerns.

Race:

Black and white tacos – two ways!

Gender identity:

“Puffy” tacos

Gender-fluid tacos

Nationality:

Asian tacos banh mi style

And  in a pinch, you can even enjoy a good old American style taco, although they’ve fallen out of favor with the the  SJW crowd due to the aforementioned “appropriation” issue:

Naturally your Taco Tuesday relationship will be transitory, but that doesn’t mean it won’t also be both deeply rewarding and satisfying.

#Namaste

So take my advice: grab a taco and a Corona and chill.

Tequila optional

Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?

T.S. Eliot, The Hollow Men

It’s all but official, the media has determined COVID-19 to be the tragedy we have been waiting for (Trump’s Katrina!!). We are all doomed.

As James Lileks reflects, this could well mark the end of life as we know it…at least for a little while.

I suspect this will seem, in retrospect, as the last “normal” week. The one in which there was other news.

This doesn’t mean everything will be actually horrible. It means the news will be horrible, in that it gives a sense of a rapidly escalating catastrophe that produces mass unease and uncertainty.

A few weeks ago, I think, I mused about some previous pandemic about which I’d forgotten, except that I bought masks, and noted a run on rice at Costco, That was the Swine Flu pandemic, of course. It was declared by the WHO to be A Thing in June 2009. I decided to go back to the StarTribune archives to see how it played out. From what I recalled, there was concern, but nothing like we're seeing today. See if you recall any of this, or your local variant. (more)

So there it is, this is how it ends; the media, the second coming of the ruling class, has so declared it. Not by global warming after all but by another manmade disaster - a simple virus capable of spreading, mutating and replicating (alas, as do all viruses).

Greta Thunberg hardest hit.

“How dare you steal my global crisis!”

Wash your hands, sneeze into your sleeve, take cover, self isolate, and do not, repeat, NOT vote for Donald J. Trump!

Oh what the hell, go ahead. We’re all going to die anyway.

Chasing Daylight

Is it 6:00 AM? 5:00 AM? or 7:00? Who knows or even cares any more. We’re all going to die from the Wuhan virus, the world economy is going to collapse and China is going to end up with all the marbles and take over the world (h/t Chicken Little-Come-Lately Tucker Carlson – just added him to my must-not-watch-ever list along with pretty much everyone else on Fox News). So observing the correct time is pretty low on my priority list today.

Love it or hate it the semi-annual ritual of time switching in order to “save daylight” is an anachronism in our technological age. The concept was originally adopted by Congress in 1917 when most of rural America was not yet electrified.

One hundred years later and most clocks change all by themselves. Our digital clocks are more adaptable than we are as they change without getting all cranky and out of sorts when they lose an hour in arguably the gloomiest month on the calendar. And as if the inconvenience of having to adjust our circadian clocks twice a year weren’t bad enough, our legislative overlords keep changing the rules every few years. Check out the erratic and arbitrary chronology of Michigan’s history with both time zones and daylight saving time. Parts of the state at various times have observed either EST or CST both with and without DST.

Legislative genius on display, doing what they do best: mucking up everyone’s life. Does anybody actually want to play this game anymore? If I were in charge I could certainly think of a more pleasant anachronism to impose on the masses than chasing daylight up and down the calendar. 

“Make sure you’re home by the time the street lights come on, Joey.”