Saturday, February 6, 2016

Dancing The Aerostars Into the History Books

I’m pretty sure you’ve seen the Dancing Queens by now:

I can’t identify all of them butt I do recognize the burgundy one as the esteemed Madame Senator from Michigan, Debbie Stabenow.

hqdefault

If any of you can identify the rest of the Aerostars on stage with Hilz, please do. For clarity, kindly do so by color:

THESE ARE THE AEROSTARS:

aerostar finalBlack, Gray, Blue, Light Blue, Burgundy, Medium Blue, Pink

THIS IS HILLARY (ROYAL BLUE), DANCING WITH THE AEROSTARS:

Frank-The-Tank

CAUTION: HARD LANDING AHEAD

FOOTNOTES: (Wikipedia)

The Ford Aerostar is a minivan that was manufactured and marketed by Ford for the 1986 to 1997 model years in the United States and Canada.

clinton_inauguration_1993_ap_1358621610371_357159_ver1_0_640_480

At Ford, development of a minivan began life in the early 1970s.

Hillary Clinton (7)

as a companion model to the Econoline full-size van.

70'S

With a drag coefficient of Cd=0.37, the Aerostar was one of the sleekest vehicles designed by Ford

Hillary-gets-an-eyeful-of-Christina-Aguileras-breastsWHAT WAS THAT DRAG COEFFICIENT AGAIN?

Dubbed Carousel, the vehicle was given a lower roofline and a rear body surrounded by glass.

20120913_glass_ceilingJUST ANOTHER GLASS CEILING TO BREAK

The Aerostar was produced in both passenger and cargo van bodies in two body lengths and it was available with both rear-wheel drive and all-wheel drive powertrains

HILLARY PLAIDREAR-WHEEL DRIVE, ALL-WHEEL DRIVE; TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE

The energy crises of the late 1970s made fuel economy a high priority of vehicle design. To lower weight, the new minivan would use plastic in the bumpers, fuel tank, rear door, and hood with aluminum used for the driveshafts, axles, and wheels.

60ot0122rewindclinton1296463783640x360I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU SON: “PLASTICS”

A total of 2,029,577 Aerostars were produced from 1985 to 1997. All production was sourced from the St. Louis Assembly Plant in Hazelwood, Missouri; this facility was closed in 2006.

I don’t envy the person assigned to inform the Clintons that the era of the minivan was over as of 2000.

quote-the-clinton-era-is-over-i-think-that-there-would-even-have-been-a-certain-amount-of-tucker-carlson-97-98-43

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, February 5, 2016

A Note to Bernie’s Millenials: Be Sure To Read the Fine Print

Note: you may have to embiggen the text to read the tiny print. Apologies, butt then again, it’s not supposed to be easy to read the fine print.

Poor old over-the-Hilz, not only did she get schlonged again by Bernie last night, butt she continues to bleed millennial voters:

According to entrance polls, Sanders received 84 percent of the vote from those 17 to 29 years old, as against 14 percent for Clinton. – New Republic

It’s easy to see why Hillary – old, white, shrill harpy – is not attractive to Millennials. The more interesting question is why Bernie is so attractive to this demographic. I think it can be simply explained by reviewing  the series of Liberty Mutual commercials aimed at the same demographic. I’ve attempted to summarize the message LM is attempting to convey beneath each video.

New Car Replacement: Don’t they know you’re already shaken up?

.

There I was just texting my mom when out of nowhere this other car jumps in front of me, ruining my whole day. Then I find out my cheap basic insurance doesn’t cover complete replacement value? That is so NOT FAIR either!!  If you just pay LM a higher “New Car Replacement premium” we’ll be happy to replace the car you totaled. (NOTE TO MILLENNIALS: in most applications  “plus depreciation” will be a negative number.)

Better Car Replacement: Money can buy you love.

;

LM understands how attached you get to inanimate objects and how upset you’ll be when they no longer work. So if you just pay them a higher “Better Replacement” premium, they’ll replace your old stuff with something even better when it breaks.  And you won’t even have to go through the trouble of putting the money in the bank yourself! How fair is that!!? 

Accident forgiveness: Your insurance company raises your rates after you caused an accident? Who does that?

You spend a lot of time doing internet research before you buy a car so you deserve a gold star, right? Then you find out there are still consequences in the form of a higher premium when you run into a tree while texting mom; that is so unfair!! Just pay LM a higher “Accident Forgiveness” premium and they won’t raise your rates - that’s fair, right?

Deductible Fund? “Deductible” – whats that?

I paid my insurance premiums on time and therefore deserve a gold star. Instead, I run off the road while texting Brad and wreck my car and you expect ME to pay a deductible!? That’s so UNFAIR!!! If you pay LM a higher “Deductible Fund” premium, they will just-a-waive your deductible – and again, you don’t even have to go to the trouble of putting it in your own bank account. How fair is that!!?

So you see, Bernie appeals to Millennials exactly the same way the Liberty Mutual ads do. He promises you a lot of free stuff butt doesn’t even do as good of a job explaining  that you are actually going to be charged for the “freebies.” Maybe the FTC should impose a Truth In Advertising law on politicians as well as commercials. In the mean time you would be well advised to read the small print.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Why You’re No Longer Allowed to Culturally Appropriate the Global Economy

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man

Add to the growing list of things whitey can no longer do: wear toe rings. 

Lovely-toe-rings-designs-ideas-for-bridals-2 No, just no.

That’s right ladies (and men, if so inclined) – toe rings have been nixed for your use if you are not from Southeast Asia, nor can you wear “slave earrings” if you have not descended from, well you know, slaves.

082311-fashion-vogue-italia-slave-story-apology.jpgBLM: Black Lobs, Mainly

Why? Because they are a form of cultural appropriation which for some odd reason is not politically correct in the 21st century. In noting this latest ban on all thingss culturally appropriated, Ed Driscoll suggests it may not be okay for minorities such as Barack Obama and Al Sharpton to wear Savile Row-inspired business suits either. Although I note they haven’t always been committed to this Western appropriantion:

Clean shirt, new shoes
And I don't know where I am goin' to
Silk suit, black tie
I don't need a reason why

Screen Capture #107

Gold watch, diamond ring
I ain't missin' not a single thing
And cufflinks, stick pin
When I step out I'm gonna do you in

evolution of sharpton

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man

All of which led me to wonder how far this new cultural appropriation ban will go. Does it mean that African Americans can no longer drive BMWs?

bmw

Chinese can’t own Mercedes?

chinese mercedes

Kobe Brynt can no longer look sharp in Armani?

Kobe-Bryant-in-GQ-7

And Americans aren’t allowed to enjoy a fine French Bordeaux?

CONTPHOTO_frenchtraitsNumber1NEW2

What kind of a world is it anyway if Americans can’t eat tacos or sushi, Asians aren’t allowed to eat corn on the cob or hot dogs,

kobayashi-hotdogsSorry, Kobayashi, no more Nathan’s hot dog eating championships for you

Germans can’t drink Guinness, and Hispanics are banned from enjoying blinis, caviar and frozen Stoli at the Russian Tea Room?

3russiantearoomnewerFor JettiG, although I’m not sure she would be allowed there anymore

I’m beginning to think this whole global economy thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Oh well, enjoy the video anyway.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

“Obviously You Don’t Know Much About Adventures.”

e4f37c_3d325ff93f964487a2ca4199caa54440 - Copy - Copy

“Destiny guides our fortunes more favorably than we could have expected. Look there, Sancho Panza, my friend, and see those thirty or so wild giants, with whom I intend to do battle and kill each and all of them, so with their stolen booty we can begin to enrich ourselves. This is nobel, righteous warfare, for it is wonderfully useful to God to have such an evil race wiped from the face of the earth."
"What giants?" Asked Sancho Panza.
"The ones you can see over there," answered his master, "with the huge arms, some of which are very nearly two leagues long."
"Now look, your grace," said Sancho, "what you see over there aren't giants, but windmills, and what seems to be arms are just their sails, that go around in the wind and turn the millstone."
"Obviously," replied Don Quijote, "you don't know much about adventures.”
  ― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

I don’t know whether to file this story under “War on Women” or “Equal Pay For Equal Work,” what do you think?

2 Generals Say Women Should Register for Draft.

Two senior military leaders said Tuesday that women should be required to register for the draft now that the Pentagon had opened all combat roles to them.

Although the move would be largely symbolic — the draft has not been used since the Vietnam War — it would represent another step in the military’s shift toward viewing men and women as equals.

And so we may get to examine the reality behind the magical mythical slogans. Should we one day get serious about wiping out Islamic Fascism – say after Iran launches several nukes around the world -and Congress reinstates the draft, it will now include women.That will certainly put divesity to the test won’t it? Men and women as ISIS prisoners of war. Nothing tests a great progressive idea like running it up against the standards of barbarians.

Meanwhile the White House continues to tilt at the windmills of the gender wage gap by establishing new rules to help employers prove the mythical gender wage gap:

The gender wage gap is due mostly to the choices women make in their careers and family lives, not to discrimination. Yet the myth persists that women earn 78 cents to the dollar that men earn for doing the exact same job.

On Friday, President Obama announced a new regulation that would force employers to “collect summary pay data by gender, race and ethnicity from businesses with 100 or more employees.”

dilbert gender wage gap

New Rules

Because even though the discrepancy is due mostly to the choices women make, why not set about trying to prove that it’s all about discrimination?

Never mind that this myth has been disproven more times than global warming.

don Quixote windmills Come to think of it global warming and the gender pay gap are pretty much the same thing.

So, as usual, if the facts don’t bear out your argument you change the facts not the argument.

The gender wage gap myth persists mostly because it is an easy talking point for Democrats looking to foment anger and resentment between men and women. But it also persists because the data behind the gap make apples and oranges comparisons between the careers and hours of men and women. The data do not compare “equal pay for equal work,” as Democrats claim. The White House knows this, yet continues to demonize employers and victimize women.

So don’t stop believing, we’ve still got to elect our FIRST WOMAN president you know.

DEM 2016 ClintonOh yeah baby, I think I’m going to harf too.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

On, New Hampshire!

Unless you’re a pollster I don’t think there’s any reason to slit your wrists over the Republican cauci results.

Cruz: 28%

Trump: 24%

Rubio: 23%

 

 

Congrats Ted, glad you won butt please clean up your act; we’re tired of smear campaigns and are looking for less, not more, politics-as-usual. And that victory speech: you earned it butt oy! Too long, let’s work on that.

The Donald is the only one of the three who didn’t give a victory speech last night. At least he was gratious in his second place placement, and  while he didn’t actually say anything other than he loved Iowa and was going to buy a farm there, it was blessedly short.

 

 

 

farm

Trump Farm Field Iowa City, Iowa

 

I’m sure he was disappointed to find out that retail politics and organization still matter and that without them a yuge turnout cannot be counted on. So I’d suggest he get some more apprentices out and about to spread the word. Also maybe ratchet down the theatrics and stick to attacking the enemies of America not the enemies of The Donald. Stick with the Make America Great Again meme; as they say in politics, it resonates.

And Marco: you would have thought he won the whole thing: (caution R-rated language)

 

 

 

And as for the Dems: what could be more fitting for the party that wants everyone to have a fair shot at paying their fair share than determining the results of the votes by a toss of the coin?

flip it

Flip it, flip it good!

What could even the playing field better than that? Who would’ve guessed that Hillary would have won all 6 tosses?

Not that it matters who won when it comes down to a choice between an over-the-Hill broad who lies about everything and a crazy old dude whose best days ended at Woodstock.

 

sanders

 

Clinton: 50%

Sanders: 50%

Still, nobody does fair better than the Democrats.

 

hillary feels the bern

Hilz having a Howard Dean moment, Bernie having a Black Power moment

On, New Hampshire!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

On, New Hampshire!

Unless you’re a pollster I don’t think there’s any reason to slit your wrists over the Republican cauci results.

Cruz: 28%

Trump: 24%

Rubio: 23%

Congrats Ted, glad you won butt please clean up your act; we’re tired of smear campaigns and are looking for less, not more, politics-as-usual. And that victory speech: you earned it butt oy! Too long, let’s work on that.

The Donald is the only one of the three who didn’t give a victory speech last night. At least he was gratious in his second place placement, and  while he didn’t actually say anything other than he loved Iowa and was going to buy a farm there, it was blessedly short.

farm

Trump Field Ames, Iowa

I’m sure he was disappointed to find out that retail politics and organization still matter and that without them a yuge turnout cannot be counted on. So I’d suggest he get some more apprentices out and about to spread the word. Also maybe ratchet down the theatrics and stick to attacking the enemies of America not the enemies of The Donald. Stick with the Make America Great Again meme; as they say in politics, it resonates.

And Marco: you would have thought he won the whole thing: (caution R-rated language)

And as for the Dems: what could be more fitting for the party that wants everyone to have a fair shot at paying their fair share than determining the results of the votes by a toss of the coin?

flip it

Flip it, flip it good!

What could even the playing field better than that? Who would’ve guessed that Hillary would have won all 6 tosses?

Not that it matters who won when it comes down to a choice between an over-the-Hill broad who lies about everything and a crazy old dude whose best days ended at Woodstock.

sanders

 

Clinton: 50%

Sanders: 50%

Still, nobody does fair better than the Democrats.

hillary feels the bern

Hilz having a Howard Dean moment, Bernie having a Black Power moment

On, New Hampshire!

Monday, February 1, 2016

MOTUS’ Handy Hawkeye Cauci Guide: I’d Caucus For That Guy Even If...

Today’s the day we’ve all been waiting for: the Hawkeye Cauci! So grab your pork tenderloin sandwich

20150120-breaded-pork-tenderloin-sandwich-titus-ruscitti-9-nicks-kitchen

and a couple of MAID-RITEs

45351

and caucus like your life depends on it. Because it does.

So here are your cauci guidelines. “I would vote for the following candidates under the following circumstances…”

  • Even if he shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die:

Screen Capture #102

  • Even if he shot a man in Reno in self-defense:

Screen Capture #104

  • Even if he shot a man in Reno, accidentally while cleaning his gun:

Screen Capture #098

  • Even if he shot a man in Reno, while demonstrating how dangerous firearms can be:

Screen Capture #099

  • If I was a Democrat caucusing as a RINO4Hillary:

Screen Capture #101

And on the Democrat side, in case you want to mess with them, vote accordingly:

  • Even if she left some guy to die in Benghazi just to fuel a lie.

hillary-clinton mad_thumb[2]Seriously, what difference at this point does it make?

  • Even if he reminds you of your old hippie pinko grandpa. (trigger warning: microaggression ahead)

bernie megaphone_thumb[1]“Dude, don’t take the brown acid!”

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Welcome To New York, The New Turd World

I understand that Bernie is surging in the polls. I would like to take this opportunity to present what the country is likely to look like after 4 years under his Democratic Socialism. You can already see it taking shape in some of America’s largest cities. Let’s look at New York since they elected their Democratic Socialist Mayor. (trigger warning: culturally appropriated behavior on display)

turd world new york

Mark-Viverito in April announced plans to decriminalize public urination along with five other low-level offenses: biking on the sidewalk, public consumption of alcohol, being in a park after dark, failure to obey a park sign and jumping subway turnstiles. – New York Post

Why on earth would they do that you ask?

Urinating and drinking in public would no longer be treated as crimes under a package of bills New York’s City Council will consider to ease enforcement of quality-of-life offenses that lawmakers say clog the courts and have been disproportionately enforced against minorities. - Crain’s New York

Disproportionate impact was originally termed “disparate impact” when it was  initially used to justify Affirmative Action programs in employment law. Now used to warrant government interference in everything from public policy to “environmental justice” action.

Apparently this particular action has been taken to help minorities “reach their full potential.”

“We know that the system has been really rigged against communities of color in particular,” said Ms. Mark-Viverito, who has promoted such reforms and is the main sponsor of the bills. “So the question has always been, what can we do in this job to minimize unnecessary interaction with the criminal justice system, so that these young people can really fulfill their potential. - New York Times

One can only wonder what potential that might be:

True_Crime_-_New_York_City_Coverart

Public masturbation? Armed robbery? Murder?

This is the antithesis of the “broken window policy” that Rudy Giuliani (R) used 20 years ago to clean up New York.

broken-window-theory.2jpgbroken-window-theory

So it makes sense that its polar opposite is what Mayor Bill de Blasio (DS) will use to destroy it. Odd, isn’t it, that one of the commonest features of progressive, Democratically-governed cities is the pervasive smell of public urination.

bernie sanders commie

This message was NOT brought to you by the Elect Bernie Sanders B-cuz America Needs More Crazy Socialists committee.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network