Today’s the day we’ve all been waiting for: the Hawkeye Cauci! So grab your pork tenderloin sandwich
and a couple of MAID-RITEs
and caucus like your life depends on it. Because it does.
So here are your cauci guidelines. “I would vote for the following candidates under the following circumstances…”
- Even if he shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die:
- Even if he shot a man in Reno in self-defense:
- Even if he shot a man in Reno, accidentally while cleaning his gun:
- Even if he shot a man in Reno, while demonstrating how dangerous firearms can be:
- If I was a Democrat caucusing as a RINO4Hillary:
And on the Democrat side, in case you want to mess with them, vote accordingly:
- Even if she left some guy to die in Benghazi just to fuel a lie.
- Even if he reminds you of your old hippie pinko grandpa. (trigger warning: microaggression ahead)
Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network