Tuesday, February 2, 2016

On, New Hampshire!

Unless you’re a pollster I don’t think there’s any reason to slit your wrists over the Republican cauci results.

Cruz: 28%

Trump: 24%

Rubio: 23%

Congrats Ted, glad you won butt please clean up your act; we’re tired of smear campaigns and are looking for less, not more, politics-as-usual. And that victory speech: you earned it butt oy! Too long, let’s work on that.

The Donald is the only one of the three who didn’t give a victory speech last night. At least he was gratious in his second place placement, and  while he didn’t actually say anything other than he loved Iowa and was going to buy a farm there, it was blessedly short.

farm

Trump Field Ames, Iowa

I’m sure he was disappointed to find out that retail politics and organization still matter and that without them a yuge turnout cannot be counted on. So I’d suggest he get some more apprentices out and about to spread the word. Also maybe ratchet down the theatrics and stick to attacking the enemies of America not the enemies of The Donald. Stick with the Make America Great Again meme; as they say in politics, it resonates.

And Marco: you would have thought he won the whole thing: (caution R-rated language)

And as for the Dems: what could be more fitting for the party that wants everyone to have a fair shot at paying their fair share than determining the results of the votes by a toss of the coin?

flip it

Flip it, flip it good!

What could even the playing field better than that? Who would’ve guessed that Hillary would have won all 6 tosses?

Not that it matters who won when it comes down to a choice between an over-the-Hill broad who lies about everything and a crazy old dude whose best days ended at Woodstock.

sanders

 

Clinton: 50%

Sanders: 50%

Still, nobody does fair better than the Democrats.

hillary feels the bern

Hilz having a Howard Dean moment, Bernie having a Black Power moment

On, New Hampshire!