Saturday, March 19, 2022

What Now?

Remember “Doug,” the huge potato a New Zealand couple found in their garden last year? I wrote about him at the time:

Advantage: USA!

…a charming little story out of New Zealand. It seems a couple found this huge potato growing in their garden. Since they didn’t plant it they’ve no idea how it got there. Colin explains that their gardening technique consists of “throw(ing) a bunch of cow manure and straw onto their garden and see what happens.”

Come to think of it that’s pretty much how we got our potato, too.

old asshole joe biden

And we seem to be having the same trouble with our potato as Donna and Colin Craig-Brown had with theirs:

As the couple showed the potato off, it began drying out and losing weight. Mold started growing from its wounds. "He was getting a bit pongy," said Colin, referring to the potato's smell.

So they changed the spelling of their potato’s name to “Dug,” which seems more appropriate, and stuck him in the deep freeze planning to turn him into vodka at some point. Again, something we may wish to consider doing with our own pongy potato at some point. 

But now, a year hence, comes the bad news from the people at the Guinness Book of World Records who were checking “Dug’s” DNA:

Guinness broke the news to Colin and Donna in an email last week. The message reads, in part “sadly, the specimen is not a potato and is in fact the tuber of a type of gourd. For this reason we do have to disqualify the application.”

So it turns out the big potato is nothing but a big fraud.

Screenshot 2022-03-19 at 05-49-25 New Zealand Couple Told Their Giant Record-Breaking Potato Is Not Actually a Potato at AllDonna with her tuber, in happier times

Now the only question remaining: does that make our potato the world record holder? Or is ours also a tuber?

bidenWhat difference, at this point, does it make?

As they say, it is what it is.


And what it is I fear is quite obvious.

truth potato see you for what you are

The question is what now?

Friday, March 18, 2022

Time For A Different Tack

Calvin and Hobbes Feminism chromosomally advantaged youth gif

Hobbes was both right and wrong; it didn’t catch on for white boys, as they have been deemed to be chromosomally advantaged youth. But for boys of any stripe who choose to identify as girls, well, “chromosomally challenged” seems to work quite nicely.

s.yimgSwimmer Lia Thomas (nee ‘Will’) becomes NCAA's first transgender D-I champion in any sport

If we can’t deal with this sort of insanity how on earth do we expect to deal with real issues in this increasingly complex world? Answer: we can’t and we won’t.

Time for a different tack.

calvin things don't bug u

Title X legislation anyone? I say give them their own water fountains, after all it’s only money.

Thursday, March 17, 2022

Please Pun Responsibly

The traditional St. Patrick’s Day greening of the Chicago river resumed this year, after being on cootie hiatus for the past 2 years.

st patrick's day chicago river green

Aside from the past two, Chicago’s river has been died green (ironically, with orange dye) every year since 1962 when Major Daley the First made it a thing. I attended the parade and festivities several times in my yute; it was a fine city in those days.

But speaking of orange, I found this little gem yesterday:

Irish Jen via What Irks

Or actually Team Green (The Biden Plan for a Clean Energy Revolution and Environmental Justice).

As the man said yesterday, “give that Orange fella his job back”

via Jettie

In the meantime, Happy St. Patrick’s Day. And if you must pun, please pun responsibly.

st patricks

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

No Reasonable Prosecutor…If Only We Had One

There is nothing as specious as a a pontificating politician.


Take James-no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case-Comey for example; here he is preaching the benefits of “deterrence” to us.

 But the Jan. 6 investigation is mostly about something you might not think about much in your normal caseload: general deterrence. It is about sending a message—a shock wave of deterrence—so future Americans, whether misled by a lying demagogue or rightfully concerned about the loss of their rights, never again assault the institutions of government. That means that even those who “merely” trespassed by following the crowd inside must be held accountable, even if only guilty of a misdemeanor. “Zero tolerance” is an overused phrase, but it fits here, if a lasting message of general deterrence is to be sent. - WaPo

Just to be clear: this is from a spokesman for the side that doesn’t find it necessary to deter rioters, criminals (unless they’re white), border jumpers or corrupt politicians. But prosecuting citizens “rightfully concerned” about the “loss of their rights,” they must be “deterred.”  That strikes me as a strange “never again” hill to die on.

weird hill

Former head of the FBI Comey then proceeds to advise us in his most pedantic tone:

“Never again. Vote, argue, litigate, demonstrate. But don’t you dare interfere by force in the operation of this democracy.”

Let’s see where we stand:

“Vote” – got that rigged so not a problem

“Argue” – sure, give it your best shot. But if you disagree with us you will be banned and canceled.

“Litigate” – we own the courts. 

“Demonstrate” – but only where, when and how we say so – otherwise it’s an “insurrection.”

Thank you James, for advancing a truly Progressive view of how justice should work in Amerika. What could possibly go wrong?

goofey biden

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Let Your Weirdness Carry You Home

I finally found it - something that adequately illustrates life on planet Earth this past 18 months:

bear motorcycle weird

I have nothing to add.

Carry on then…


I’ll be back tomorrow.

Monday, March 14, 2022

An All-Sports Mutt Day

Sick of the news? How about some sports?

The NCAA just announced the March Madness brackets: it seems to me everyone’s still in it, no wonder it takes forever to declare a winner.

air-bud.2jpgHe sits. He stays. He shoots. He scores!

To bad we don’t have ESPN’s coverage of Barack’s bracket picking to look forward to anymore. That was always newsworthy back when being President was fun.


But I’m pretty sure we discontinued the Presidential Brackets “tradition” once Trump was president.

In other sports news: the major league baseball lockout is over! Yeah, I know: I didn’t know there was one either. But it’s over so let’s Play Ball!

golden-retriever-fetches-baseball-batIt feels great to get back in the batter’s box

And how about football? I see Tom Brady changed his mind about retirement, he’s returning to the Tampa Bay Bucs for the ‘22 season. He’s only been retired for 41 days – during the offseason no less. I really don’t think he gave it a fair shot.

Sadly, I’m no more interested in sports than I am the news but it is less upsetting. And it is Mutt Day!

dog-footballYeah Bud, I think it’s underinflated too, but be careful of what you complain about, they might overinflate it and then what will you have to chew on?


biden clown show

Inflation: it’s a state of mind

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Time, Time Time…

clock strikes twelve

The Doomsday Clock was developed in 1947 by the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, a nonprofit founded by Manhattan Project scientists following the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The group’s members included Albert Einstein and University of Chicago scientists who helped develop the first atomic bomb  - serious scientists – who wanted a metaphorical way to remind the public of the high stakes involved with nuclear weapons.

All of which makes it difficult to take their current day counterparts seriously.

2022-doomsday-clock-7-1380x776The Doomsday Clock remains set at 100 seconds to midnight in 2022, unchanged since 2020.

The current Bulletin of Atomic Scientists is comprised of a batch of Post-Normal steampunk scientists with political agendas in need of advancement. This is how they define themselves:

“The Bulletin is a media organization, posting free articles on its website and publishing a premium digital magazine…The Bulletin focuses on three main areas: nuclear risk, climate change, and disruptive technologies.” 

A media organization? That’s great, you wouldn’t want any real science going on around nuclear weapons of self-destruction. And please note: they’ve added climate change to the mix of things that lead to self annihilation. All that’s missing is a statement on diversity, equity and inclusion…oh wait!

“The Bulletin is committed to Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. The profound challenges of our moment cannot be met without increasing the diversity of background and perspective of our organization. Data show that homogenous organizations have blind spots that obscure incoming risks and areas of opportunities. The Bulletin is determined to improve diversity along the lines of age, gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and gender identity and expression.”

Doesn’t sound like much serious science going on around here. Confirmation: the President and CEO of the Bulletin of Atomic Science  - that’s responsible for scaring informing us how close to midnight and annihilation we are – is Rachel Bronson.

“(Ms. Bronson) earned a BA in history from the University of Pennsylvania and an MA and PhD in political science from Columbia University.”

Not physics, not math, not chemistry but rather political science: more politics, less science. But I note Ms. Bronson has written many articles about the politics of global energy. Plus she’s appeared on NPR, CNN, PBS, al Jazeera, and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart giving her  all the bona fides and gravitas needed to scare inform us of pending global disaster, most likely due to ‘climate change’.

So here’s my advice: forget about the Steampunk Scientists’ Doomsday Clock.

Steampunk clock designed in the style of an Astrolabe and also featuring wings and dials, cogs and gearsSteampunk clock designed in the style of an Astrolabe featuring wings and dials, cogs and gears

It’s nothing more than political science fiction. The only clock you need to worry about is the one that stole an hour from you last night.

clock ahead

To paraphrase that wise old Indian Native American: “politicians are the only ones who think you can cut an inch off one end of a blanket, sew it on the other and make it longer.”