Saturday, September 21, 2013

In Search of Our Perfect Doppelganger

I’m sure you remember back in 2009 when the BO was still shopping for a shelter dog in order to make good on his promise to get the Wee Wons a puppy if he WON.

Well, long before Uncle Teddy stepped up to the plate and offered to give the Wons an adorable purebred Portuguese water dog, a family in Lima Peru offered to give them their rare Peruvian hairless dog. (I’m not making this up):


How about this dog?

This is a four-month-old puppy called "Machu Picchu." The owners of the animal, a Peruvian Hairless Dog, have offered it to U.S. President-elect Barack Obama. Obama has promised his daughters a new pet for the White House but one of them is allergic to most breeds. The owners of the Peruvian Hairless Dog say it is perfect for kids who are sensitive to dogs. What do you think the answer should be?

  • Um, thanks but no thanks.
  • Probably too cold in D.C. for the pooch.
  • Does Rogaine work on dogs?

Butt since the Wons rejected their kind offer, I guess they gave little “Machu Picchu” to Vladimir Putin instead (h/t Gerard) who immediately changed his name to двойник (Dvoynik) which I think translates roughly to “Doppelganger.”

Vladmir-Putin-dog-e1379686195518Dvoynik is on the right

Anyway, we did set out to locate a shelter dog that looked like BO. There were a lot of submissions, butt most didn’t make the cut. For example, this one was too white:

bo smug puppy

And this one was too black:

bo malcolmNo, wait, that’s a different post.

This one’s ears were too big (you know how sensitive we are about our ears):

Screenshot Studio capture #1349

This one was too mean:

Screenshot Studio capture #1350

And this one too somber and Churchillian (and, again, with the ears):

Screenshot Studio capture #1351

So, unable to locate the perfect shelter dog mini-me, we went with Teddy’s cute, cuddly pedigree who came to us totally unencumbered, completely free of charge, and with absolutely no strings attached. In other words, he had nothing in common with Big Guy except for being black and white.

first-dog-bo-obama-official-white-house-portrait-500x750Little Bo, official portrait

Butt in the end, we decided that color trumps everything. Everyone around here loves Little Bo, especially the guys we hired to feed, walk, groom and play with him. And while Big BO likes having photo ops done with his “best friend” the truth is he hasn’t really bonded that well with Little Bo. He’s a little too playful for Big Guy, who is serious much of the time; when he’s not golfing, drinking, shooting baskets or hanging with the glitterati. 

Big Guy fancies himself as something a bit feistier, perhaps more of a mad puppy:

Screenshot Studio capture #1354

“I don’t mind them disagreeing with me. They don’t like the Affordable Care Act,” he said, “but you don’t have to threaten to blow the whole thing up just because you don’t get your way.”

Obama-Syria“How dare he taunt me with his chemical weapons: Bombs away, boys!”

shutdown “How dare they taunt me by refusing to raise the debt ceiling, I’ll shut down the entire government”

I think Little Bo is sticking around, mostly to placate his handlers, who love him, butt I’ve heard we’ve finally located the perfect canine companion for Big Guy, after years of searching. In fact, you might say that if BO were a dog, he’d look just like his new companion, “Trayvon.”

poacs6etc0Did you not hear me Barry? I said “heel”

obama will not eat breitbart's dog-2 copy_thumb[1]

Righteous Indignation Welcome Here

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, September 20, 2013

Global Warming 2.0: When Lying is No Longer Enough

“Once there was modern science, which was hard work; now we have postmodern science, where the quest for real, absolute truth is outdated, and "science" is a wax nose that can be twisted in any direction to underpin the latest lying narrative in the pursuit of power. Except they didn't call it ‘postmodern' science because then we might smell a rat. They called it PNS (post-normal science) and hoped we wouldn't notice.”Dewey from Detroit

Forget the new Apple iPhone, Climategate 2.0 is being released today as well. And the inconvenient truths just keep coming.

Screenshot Studio capture #1347I said, the earth has a fever, and we can’t wait!

If you’ve ever wondered how science gets settled in the age of “post normal science,” we get a glimpse of the process via the Daily Mail: (h/t Weaselzippers)

Scientists working on the most authoritative study on climate change were urged to cover up the fact that the world’s temperature hasn’t risen for the last 15 years.

A leaked copy of a United Nations report, compiled by hundreds of scientists, shows politicians in Belgium, Germany, Hungary and the United States raised concerns about the final draft.

Published next week, it is expected to address the fact that 1998 was the hottest year on record and world temperatures have not yet exceeded it, which scientists have so far struggled to explain.

The report is the result of six years’ work by UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which is seen as the world authority on the extent of climate change and what is causing it – on which governments including Britain’s base their green policies.

But leaked documents seen by the Associated Press, yesterday revealed deep concerns among politicians about a lack of global warming over the past few years.

warming over the past few years.

Germany called for the references to the slowdown in warming to be deleted, saying looking at a time span of just 10 or 15 years was ‘misleading’ and they should focus on decades or centuries. [ed. Uh, haven’t people been telling Warmists that for years now?]

Hungary worried the report would provide ammunition for deniers of man-made climate change.[ed.You think?]

Belgium objected to using 1998 as a starting year for statistics, as it was exceptionally warm and makes the graph look flat – and suggested using 1999 or 2000 instead to give a more upward-pointing curve. [ed. or how about we start with 2015? or 2020?]

The United States delegation even weighed in, urging the authors of the report to explain away the lack of warming using the ‘leading hypothesis among scientists that the lower warming is down to more heat being absorbed by the ocean – which has got hotter. [ed. it’s the “leading hypothesis” due to a lack of any other plausible excuses]

hot_air_balloon_1sfwAlternate hypothesis #1 for what happened to all the hot air on the planet

untitledAlternate hypothesis #2 for what happened to all the hot air on the planet

This is embarrassing, coming hot on the heels of a report that the Artic ice sheet (the one that Algore predicted would melt entirely by 2013) has grown to record size this year (inconvenient truth #2); as has the Antarctic for ice mass (inconvenient truth #3). Which tends to undermine that “warming ocean” leading hypothesis, I’d think.

arctic ice

I see that many “news” outlets are billing the report on lack of global warming for 15 years as “Scientists Hit Snag on Global Warming.” Others might call that “snag” what it is: a lie.

you lie

Butt seriously, what difference, at this point, does it make? The science is settled; if you believe in the new common core, post-normal science. Apparently Michael Creighton was one of those Neanderthal deniers who didn’t:

"I want to pause here and talk about this notion of consensus, and the rise of what has been called consensus science. I regard consensus science as an extremely pernicious development that ought to be stopped cold in its tracks. Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled. Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you’re being had. Let’s be clear: the work of science has nothing whatever to do with consensus. Consensus is the business of politics. Science, on the contrary, requires only one investigator who happens to be right, which means that he or she has results that are verifiable by reference to the real world. In science consensus is irrelevant. What is relevant is reproducible results. The greatest scientists in history are great precisely because they broke with the consensus. There is no such thing as consensus science. If it’s consensus, it isn’t science. If it’s science, it isn’t consensus. Period."Michael Crichton, January 17, 2003

Antarctica2Scientific consensus: 97 out of 100 penguins believe in global warming

Emperor Penguins with Camera1328396672The other 3 are still investigating the facts

Anyway, we’ve already added “global warming” to our growing list of “urgencies” that Big Guy can’t afford to let the do-nothing Congress continue to ignore. Accordingly, he has determined to save the planet by brandishing his mighty pen; we’ve got coal plants to shut down! And solar panels to build!

executive order pen photo opPaparazzi close in on the invisible hand of the “executive pen” 

That’s right, Big Guy will be signing more Executive Orders! And you will be relieved to know that Algore approves:

Today's announcement by EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy is an important step forward for our nation and our planet. [ed. butt more importantly, it’s a huge step forward for Algore Enterprises. Thank you, Barack Obama!] From now on, future coal- and gas-fired power plants must take responsibility for their global warming pollution by reducing or capturing their overall emissions.

This is a critical achievement for President Barack Obama and his administration. In the face of an intransigent and inactive Congress, the President has made halting the climate crisis a priority. The policies announced today, combined with the rest of the President's Climate Action Plan, will put us on the path toward solving the [non-existent] climate crisis.


fat-al-gore-prayAlternate hypothesis #3 for what happened to all the hot air on the planet

Repeat after me: fraudulent global warming is a $14 trillion extortion plot. And Algore is butt one cog in that big blackjack wheel of fortune.


So, tell me again, what would the wrong with shutting down the government?

obama_climate_speech_0Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?


Science has succumbed to the same virus that beset literature, art, economics, and the rest of the social sciences: postmodernism. Postmodernism is a progressive virus that negates reason, objectivity, and truth -- replacing them with relativism, subjectivism, and pragmatism. Having colonized every other branch of academics decades ago, postmodernism has now come for science.Dewey from Detroit

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Michelle’s Food Marketing 101: The Hidden Persuaders

Lady M summoned the food and media industry to the White House yesterday to give them their marching orders recommended guidelines for advertising to children.

Michelle ObamaLady M, “convening”

She opened by asking everyone present to pledge to work together on marketing healthy food to children:

“You see, the average child watches thousands of food advertisements each year, and 86% of those ads are for products loaded with sugar, fat, salt,” she said that the event. “By contrast, our kids see an average of just one ad a week for healthy products like water to fruits and vegetables. Just one ad a week.”

And as you all know, these ads work.  Kids who see foods advertised on TV are significantly more likely to ask for them at the store –- a phenomenon known as “pester power.” (Laughter.)  New to me.  Sounds right though.  And research shows that a child’s first request for a product happens as early as 24 months, and 75 percent of the time, this request takes place in a grocery store. 

OK, then – I believe we’ve established that this type of propaganda works.

Julia life

As does coercion:

The meeting in the State Dining room was another sign that Obama, who has become widely known for her campaign against childhood obesity, is more forcefully taking on the role of referee between the politically opposed factions in the food wars. Her meeting, which the White House touted as the first of its kind, [!] comes on the heels of fresh conversation sparked by reporting in the book “Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us,” which lays out the ways the processed food industry has effectively marketed junk food to children.

Would now be an appropriate time to mention the inconvenient truth that it was the federal government that first published food guidelines? And that the food industry not only followed them, they scrupulously formulated their food offerings to capitalize on them? For example, during WWII, our government asked us to save wheat for the troops:


The food companies did their best to comply:

Screenshot Studio capture #1344

And when WWII was over and the sugar rationing ended, they continued to support the government’s recommendations:

Screenshot Studio capture #1345

Notably, they were simply following the government’s own current recommendation to eat more carbohydrates (emphasis added):

"It was Senator George McGovern's bipartisan, nonlegislative Select Committee on Nutrition and Human Needs…that almost single-handedly changed nutritional policy in this country and initiated the process of turning the dietary fat hypothesis into dogma."

In January 1977, after listening to the testimony of Ancel Keys and other doctors and scientists intent on promoting the unsupported Dietary Fat-Heart hypothesis, the Committee published the "Dietary Goals for the United States" recommending that all Americans reduce their fat, saturated fat and cholesterol consumption, and increase their carbohydrate consumption to 55-60% of daily calories.

original-usda-food-pyramid1980’s-90’s: EAT LESS FAT! MORE CEREAL, BREAD, RICE AND CARBS!

Then in the early 21st century Dr. Atkins' rocked everyone’s world with his earthshattering declaration that carbs, not fat, were the culprit in everything from obesity to diabetes to heart disease. At first the food police were dismissive, even derisive of Atkins' claims. When he refused to go away, they tried to demonize him as a dangerous extremist. Butt then data began to pour in supporting his claims that excess carbohydrates were contributing to obesity, diabetes and heart disease. Government health and dietary experts went into tilt mode for awhile. Butt then, they came bounding back under Lady M’s excellent leadership with a brand new food pyramid that was so revolutionary that few people even noticed that it wasn’t really a pyramid at all:


And although it had been years in the making, when released it wasn’t very clear and not particularly helpful. So we hired a new consultant to translate this mess concept into something simpler that could be grasped by our new, simpler population:


Many of whom no longer speak English:


As either a first or second language:


And while things were going pretty well:

I see it everywhere I go all across this country.  I see it in chain restaurants that are serving kale salads, and they're filling kids’ menus with not just nuggets and fries, but with broccoli and whole-wheat pasta.  I see it in churches where instead of fried chicken and mac and cheese for church supper, they’re serving up grilled fish and brown rice.

And even though Lady M was able to coerced convinced Walmart to offer Tuscan kale in the produce section of the new stores that they agreed to open in food deserts across America, McDonalds to replace french fries with apple slices, the Olive Garden to reduce salt in their recipes and the SEIU-staffed school lunch programs to serve bean and okra burgers with sauerkraut – the kids are still fat! And the new school lunches were in the dumpster.

So, under the countenance of a White House “convening” of the usual suspects to “encourage” (i.e. get them to voluntarily do what we want them to do) rather than “coerce” (i.e., mandatorily get them to do what we want them to) the industry leaders gathered to listen to Lady M’s received wisdom on marketing:

And I’m here today with one simple request -- and that is to do even more and move even faster to market responsibly to our kids.  Now, I want to be clear about what I’m asking here…the goal here is to empower parents instead of undermining them as they try to make healthier choices for their families.

And we need you to lead the way in creating demand for healthy foods so that kids actually start “pestering” us for those foods in the grocery store.

Butt wait! Isn’t that the government’s job? “Pestering” us, I mean?


Lady M soldiered on, demonstrating an insightful, if rudimentary, understanding of free market capitalism, she pointed out why it would be in the industries’ best interest to pay and play:

And that trust is valuable.  That trust is good for your businesses.  That’s why so many of you in the private sector are leading the way on this issue. [ed. Uh, no; it isn’t. It’s because they’re being coerced by people who can destroy them if they don’t comply. See “IRS harassment of conservative groups” for further verification.] You are innovating.  You’re taking risks.  You’re serving as models for your industries, and it’s starting to make a difference -- not just for our kids, but for your shareholders as well.

See? Lady M knows that companies have shareholders! What other FLOTUS was ever smart enough to know that?

Anyway, having already established with Obamacare that we can effectively turn marketing on it’s head - instead of marketing stuff that people want, we can market stuff that the government wants them to have! So why not fundamentally transform the paradigm of “food marketing to children” the same way! It’s another WIN-WIN for team Obama!

Here’s an example of some of the marketing we’ve used to win the hearts and minds of people in Oregon for Obamacare:

Wait – isn’t that called…“propaganda?”

And good news! It already looks like Lady M’s “encouragement” is working:

Some 18 food companies, including General Mills, Coca Cola and Kellogg Co., have pledged to advertise only healthier products on children’s programming, or not to engage in any advertising during such shows. The pledge was made to the Better Business Bureau’s Children’s Food and Beverage Advertising Initiative.

Now what is it, again, that we call it when that coercion “encouragement” is backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government? Oh yes, a “phony scandal.”

IRS employees were "acutely" aware in 2010 that President Obama wanted to crack down on conservative organizations and were egged into targeting tea party groups by press reports mocking the emerging movement, according to an interim report being circulated Tuesday by House investigators.

Or, alternately, I guess some people call it “extortion”.

“You have never seen in the history of the United States the debt ceiling or the threat of not raising the debt ceiling being used to extort a president or a — a governing party,” the president told the gathering of CEOs.

Screenshot Studio capture #1346Who you calling a dummy?

I'll pull the trigger black bart copy

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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Irony Wednesday

We haven’t celebrated Irony Wednesday for a long time, and it’s way overdue. So let’s recap the basics: it’s a salute to the week’s best use of irony and it’s frequent companion, incongruity, in an educational way. As such, we’ll start with our basic definitions:

i·ro·ny (ˈīrənē,ˈiərnē/) noun: irony

the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect. A rhetorical device, literary technique, or event characterized by an incongruity, or contrast, between what might be expected and what actually occurs.


in·con·gru·ous (inˈkäNGgro͞oəs/) adjective: incongruous

 not in harmony or keeping with the surroundings or other aspects of something.

610xVeterans Day 2009, One Thing is Not Like the Others

Now, on to this week’s winners:

Yesterday, as you know, was Constitution Day. In honor of the event – also known as the “Charter of Negative Liberties” Day - Big Guy had Jay-Jay announce his plans for further circumventing the Constitution by creating more negative liberties. He announced that BO, in an attempt to convert the 2nd Amendment right to bear arms to a more nuanced negative liberty of NOT having that right, intends to sign more Executive Orders to get around the do-nothing Republican Congress. 

In the wake of the shooting at the Navy Yard, Obama spokesman Jay Carney said the president is implementing executive actions and reiterated his commitment to strengthening gun laws, including expanding background checks to sales online and at gun shows.

“The president supports, as do an overwhelming majority of Americans, common-sense measures to reduce gun violence,” Carney said.

In related news, high schools across America used the occasion of Constitution Day to teach students about our founding document, using the new abridged Cliff’s Notes version:

constitution day

The authors of United States History: Preparing for the Advanced Placement Examination have taken it upon themselves to change the Constitution of the United States. The high school textbook contains a summary of each Amendment that alters the initial intent in which they were created.

The textbook notes the Second Amendment as, "The people have a right to keep and bear arms in a state militia."

The actual Second Amendment reads, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

I don’t know why people are so upset: as we learned yesterday, words don’t really mean what you think they do anymore anyway. So the textbook authors simply interpreted and added a helpful editorial comment where necessary in order to clarify what they felt the founders intended. Take their revision to the 1st Amendment for example:

“Congress shall make no laws that infringe a citizens right to freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly and petition. Congress may not favor one religion over another (separation of church and state).

Helpful, because not everybody knows that “make no law respecting an establishment of religion; or prohibiting the free exercise thereof” is the same thing as requiring a “separation of church and state.”

Plus, a lot of people already think that the term “separation of church and state” is contained somewhere in the “Charter of Negative Liberties,” so why not just go ahead and put it in there?

religions_wheel_crimsonFinal exam: Identify the symbols that are unacceptable on government documents*

I haven’t gotten up to the 14th Amendment yet, butt I suspect in the Common Cause Core textbook it reads: “...nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, property, contraception and Obamacare without due process of law....” Maybe we’ll cover this on next year’s Constitution Day.

In case you have concerns about this new take on the Constitution, don’t worry: the new version of the Constitution is 100% Common Core authorized and 100% approved by former community organizers and adjunct constitutional law professors.

 prof o-2 copyAdjunct Constitutional Law Professor teaches separation of powers and President

By the way, here’s what the new Common Core approved logic curriculum looks like in action:

Carney acknowledged that a stronger background check system would not have stopped the Navy Yard shooter, Aaron Alexis. However, using that fact to dismiss background check legislation would be a "cop out," he said.

obama logicEven our logic fallacies have fallacies

There are many other potential entries for Irony Wednesday (be sure to submit your own favorite!) butt I only have time for one more - the cost of bringing people out of the shadows:

A projected $650 million in welfare benefits will be distributed to illegal alien parents in 2013, county officials said Monday.

The irony? These are the illegal immigrants who came here to do the jobs that Americans won’t do. Apparently they couldn’t find work in the new Obama economy either.

…the latest figures from the Department of Public Social Services, which showed more than $376 million in CalWORKs benefits and food stamps combined have been distributed through July to illegal alien parents for their native-born children.

“When you add the $550 million for public safety and nearly $500 million for healthcare, the total cost for illegal immigrants to county taxpayers exceeds $1.6 billion dollars a year,” Antonovich said in a statement. “These costs do not even include the hundreds of millions of dollars spent annually for education.”

Butt this story qualifies for today’s Double Irony Award:  All those illegal’s who just came here so they could improve their lives? They’re all living on government welfare.

Obama_-_My_Work_Here_Is_DoneOut of the shadows, into the ashes.

Sure beats living in Mexico! Thank you, Obama!

*Correct answer: all butt the Christian, Jewish and Boy Scout (Sikh) symbols

P.S. If anyone wants to hear Alanis Morisette sing “Isn’t it Ironic” again, it’s embedded in the bottom of the “Ebony and Irony” post from the way-back machine. Butt as I recall, many of you found her cacophonous ode to irony a bit too ironic.

Irony: (from the Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία eirōneía, meaning dissimulation or feigned ignorance) is a rhetorical device, literary technique, or situation in which there is a sharp incongruity or discordance that goes beyond the simple and evident intention of words or actions.

What? Big Guy “dissimulate?” “Feign?”  (hee, hee – now that’s irony!)”

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Aaron Alexis Didn’t Kill those People on His Own; His Gun Did that For Him.

*sigh*  Another day, another workplace man-caused disaster. Quick, cue the anti-gun brigade before this crisis goes to waste. We’re burning daylight here, people!

dianne_feinstein_ak47_APShoot, ready, aim! (Love that Al Capone look on Dianne)

This is what happens when words no longer mean anything: partisans rush in to claim that “A” actually means “B” even though common sense, in conjunction with your lyin’ eyes, tells you that “A” is actually, well, “A.” Butt “when words no longer have any meaning, they can mean anything.” 

A-Equals-To-B Prog math problems: the answer is always “equality”

Accordingly, in the post-9/11, post-American world the original meanings of certain words have simply slipped down the memory hole:

rabbit holeMemoryHole- George Orwell, 1984

As a result, our military “rules of engagement” morphed from where “engagement” meant “battle” to now, where it means “surrender.” Hence fundamentally transforming “rules of engagement”  to rules of “disengagement.” 

fort hoo -no weapons entrance copyNo fighting here boys, this is a gun-free zone!

And if you disagree, sir, the New Army definitely does Not Want You!

bradley-chelsea-manningObama’s New Army. The Few. The Proud

Given the administration’s full adoption of Newspeak – a key component of our new Common Core Curriculum, butt that’s another story - it’s easy to understand how things have become a bit muddled down the military chain of command. SultanKnish explains at length, butt here’s a short take on the phenomenon :

The Obama Administration has shifted the primacy of the conflict to the ideological sphere. Like the rest of the left, it would rather fight ideological wars, which are its strength, than military conflicts, which aren't.

The left doesn't really understand ideas, but it does understand word games. To alter language is to alter the consensual reality of a subject population. The Oceanian reality of the media may not do anything to the reality in Afghanistan, but it certainly shifts the reality in America.

power-of-wordsWith these letters you have the power to say anything!

So as everyone - politicians, newscasters and journalists - continue to confuse and muddle the specs and abilities of various rifles, pistols, M-16s and Ak-47s, the important thing for us to take away from this latest tragedy is that people don’t kill other people on their own; guns do that for them.


Therefore, the fact that our Navy Yard shooter had been treated by the VA for psychological issues including “hearing voices” in his head can lead you to no conclusion other than we need stricter “gun safety” laws. Which will be enforced with the same level of effectiveness as the ones we already have on the books, as long as we continue to let crazy people blend into the surroundings rather than restraining them. Besides, don’t we all hear words in our head these days that make no sense?

And as you may imagine, a huge relief washed over the White House when it was revealed that the shooter was a Buddhist (although I guess he was still working on that “better living through zen” part) not a Muslim. That freed everyone up to immediately focus on the evil guns that perpetrated this unthinkable violence on another peaceful U.S. military base. 

the-navy-yardGun Free Zone, of course.

And to shift the discussion back to the do-nothing Republicans in Congress who forced Big Guy to implement that red line he drew with sequester cuts. As a result the Navy Yard was forced to cut its security which led to the death of 12 employees. They should be ashamed of themselves. I know; that doesn’t explain why the subcontractor gave our shooter security clearance, butt that’s irreverent because again, in the age of Newspeak, responsibility resides where we say it resides not where you think it resides.

benghazi youtubeVIDEO_Benghazi_prot_339032a

As I said, “when words no longer have any meaning, they can mean anything.”

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