Saturday, March 20, 2010

Booty Call For the Next FLOTUS

Here’s confirmation: Lady M is a bona fide fashion icon. Look, here’s BeyoncĂ©  emulating all of her signature styles.

beyonce perfume heat



sleeveless, check20091214_mobama_091213

toned arms, checkarms

boob belt, check20091112_mobama_091112

above (bad looking) knees, check 20090727_mobama_560

too tight, check20091228_mobama_091214

bare (bad looking) legs, check1_3_10

accented junk in the trunk, check, and check

mos shellssotu butt

multiple sparkly bracelets, check6a00d834525f2869e20120a6d48bd7970b-500wi

big dangly earrings, check


fashion forward open toed shoes, check


Keep it up Beyonce, and maybe you, too can be FLOTUS some day. Keep your eye out for an intelligent, articulate socialist to hook up with and you are golden, babe. Might I suggest Sean Penn? I know he’s not black, but some of his best friends are people of color.

UFPJ II 007 web SeanPenn-HugoChavez1

He does seem to have that chauffeur thing going on, but that’s probably because he’s from Hollywood and used to all  that deference and fawning adulation. That, and the fact that he thinks people who call a dictator a dictator should be put in jail, makes him a natural for the Big White.

So, give it a thought, B. I think we might have a couple of openings here in about 3 years. And I would love to reflect that booty of yours.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Gerard Heats Up Penthouse

If you haven’t read Vanderluen’s post “Baring All for Climategate: I’m in Penthouse this month...”, you should hop on over and read it. Sorry, this is the only picture though, and apparently they don’t have a “centerfold”. Or at least Gerard isn’t it.


Gerard has been a big help to me and my blog. Remember my first Big Award? It’s right over there on the right: “American Digest Bestest New Blog Of The Week”.

So I thought, maybe I can return the favor and help him find a good centerfold. After all, my hard drive is jam-packed with images. But when Raj showed me the “centerfold” in Joey B’s most recent issue of Penthouse, I didn’t think I had what he was looking for. I knew Lady M in a Boob-Belt wouldn’t be right. Or Lady M in anything, let along nothing. Then I found this from last year’s Neo-Pagan, Summer Solstice Celebration.


 Algore Offers Carbon Credits To Gaia

I think it’s perfect. Scary, but perfect.

A Little Spring Tonic

Yesterday I thought Lady M had a hangover from the big St. Patrick’s Day party Wednesday night, but it turns out that she was just sulking about missing the media Correspondent's Dinner, which Desi scheduled for the same night. That dips**t couldn’t pack up and get out of town soon enough.

st fatrick's day

So there we are, stuck at Big White celebrating a dead white Irish guy who drove the snakes out of Ireland into Congress, and Joey B - a white Irish guy from Congress -joeyb  is over at the celebrity media dinner yucking it up with our people. Just another one of the endless sacrifices we have to make in order to run this country into the ground.



rahmboThe rest of Big Guy’s rat pack looked like they all had hangovers yesterday though. Here they are in the Rose Garden where BO signed a new HIRE jobs bill. I think it provides free root beer floats for 3 years to anyone who lost their job. Did you know that root beer was originally a medical tonic? This might help us with the cost of our Obamacare plan too.

 harry valjar

nancy Honestly, it looks like they’re all at a funeral rather than another joyous historic bill signing. They really have to lay off the sauce. At least through the weekend while we all hunker down and rahm through Obamacare. Because Papa Doc Barack knows what’s best. And he’s prescribing root beer floats for everyone.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Veni, Vidi, Verdi

Lady M, Sonya Sotomayor and Ruth Bader-Ginsburg held an art mentoring session today at the Supreme Court. An interesting venue for a lesson on primary colors, given that most things are black and white over there.  But who doesn’t love art day? Just look how excited everyone is.

mo primary colors While Sonya and Baby Ruth stuck to their pre-assigned colors, Mo went a little above and beyond, as she is known to do, and wore not only her assigned primary color of yellow, but combined it with a teal blue skirt which allowed her to demonstrate how a secondary color – green – is created! Isn’t she simply amazing!

yellow sweater

And for those of you who were worried about our fashion icon relinquishing her boob belt: well, see for yourself. Boob. Belt. It’s baa-ack. And Lucite like you’ve never seen it before!

Later, we kicked it up a notch by switching to our signature sleeveless sheath in emerald green (darker hue, more blue) for the official St. Patrick’s day celebration.

green bacteria ygotesWhich was nice, except for the bacteria infestation.



But MO gamely carried on, continuing the color mentoring into the evening. In honor of St. Patrick’s day, she selected the bacillus verdi to wear.


Every green eyed monster has its day, and March 17th belongs to the greens.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

They’re Burning O’s Wood in the Fallas Festival

Just file this one away under “you can’t make this stuff up.”

cardboard and wood o and mrs o valencia

Caption from the Getty image:

“A Falla, a gigantic sculpted structure of cardboard and wood which humorously portrays relevant current events and personalities, caricaturize US President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle is pictured during preparations for the Fallas Festival, on March 15, 2010 in Valencia (Spain). The Fallas will be burned in the streets of Valencia on March 19, 2010, as a tribute to St. Joseph, patron saint of the carpenters' guild.”

I’m almost speechless, but would just point out that March 15th was the Ides of March. As I said, you can’t make this stuff up.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Earn Your Stripes: Join ObamaCorpse Today

Ok, Ok. The Red Queen and the Mad Hatter were fun, and the Newsweek apple was enlightening (or was it the other way around?), but we’ve got more serious reporting to do now.


First the good news: it must be Spring, because Lady M broke out some of her new Spring duds: a pink and white striped silk sleeveless blouse, with a waistless, but also beltless fuchsia skirt. The bad news:  I have a very bad feeling about the subtle message we might be sending about Obamacare with this particular sartorial choice. It seems more than a bit evocative of the uniforms worn by the Candy Stripers in their historically important role in the healthcare field.


I’m talking about the fine young ladies who, during WWII, worked in offices or factories during the day and volunteered their time to work as Candy Stripers at night to help alleviate the severe nurse and doctor  shortages in hospitals.

You probably don’t remember them, but your mom or grandma might have been one of them. I sure hope that’s not what Big Guy has in mind for lowering health care costs.   Because somehow, I just don’t think this generation’s Candy Stripers would be quite as selfless.

sexy-candy-striper-nurse But I could be wrong.

Besides,I don’t really think that those pink striped uniforms that I saw in the situation room were for ObamaCorpse workers, I think they were costumes for Toes’ next Nutcracker production: the Sugar Plum Fairies.

But you probably want to know more about Lady M’s continued fight to improve fitness and combat obesity in children: she was pretty in pink as she lectured the Grocery Manufacturers Association Science Forum to stop selling junk food.

2010-03-16-MICHELLEOBAMA2butt shott

Butt that’s the end and, I don’t really have anything else to say.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Is This an Easter Miracle?

First the Shroud of Turin dress, and now, this?


Have you seen Lady M on the cover of Newsweek? She’s talking about her No Child's Fat Behind program again. But that’s not why I’m bringing this up.

I’m just wondering; is it just because I spend my life reflecting things that I immediately thought: WTH is that reflection in the apple? Is it Leo Tolstoy? KSM? Karl Marx? Muhammad? ( I sure hope not, I understand we’re not supposed to reproduce his image, period.) Are those horns spouting from the top of his head? Where did they get this evil apple, from the Tea Partiers? Raj said it really did look like the Shroud of Turin to him, but what would he know – he’s a Buddhist.

If it is Karl Marx, some right wing nut is probably going to say it has something to do with indoctrinating the children in our schools or something: “feed your children well”? What were they thinking?

You would think, with all the little people we employ around here, that this sort of PR disaster would never happen. And doesn’t Newsweek hire editors anymore?

I’m going to take some aspirin, get a glass wax and have Raj check to make sure my lens are in focus. It’s going to be a long week.

Did America Fall Into The Rabbit Hole?


White Rabbit: Jefferson Airplane

Lady M loved the Red Queen ensem! And she mentioned that she’d just seen on Huffpo that “Alice In Wonderland” is still tops at the the box office, despite lousy reviews. I haven’t seen the movie yet, and probably won’t, since I’m living in it.

Just one little problem: off the runway model the dress required quite a bit of additional fabric to contain Lady M’s, uh, royal rear. But with a little help from my backup circuits, I think it turned out quite nicely. What do you think? (Hair and makeup by some of Lady M’s little people, so I can’t take credit for that.)

 mo-red queen-watermark crop

dior mad hatter

Big Guy was feeling left out, which happens a lot when MO is on stage, so with a nod to Dior’s hit from the runway show last week, I pulled together an accompanying outfit for BO to wear for the signing of our historic Obamacare bill later this week.

They liked the outfits so much,they’re wearing them to the Mad Tea Party with the House recalcitrants this afternoon.

See now much fun high fashion is? What do you think of my take on it for Big Guy? He needed a little help with the makeup, but Toes did a pretty good job.

big guy madhatter-watermark cropMad Hatter, March Hare, Red Queen: Can Obamacare be far behind?

We are so ready for Easter! And I didn’t even now the O’s believed in the Resurrection. Feed your head.

Big White Tea Party Today

Since there wasn’t much going on around here this weekend (unless you’re interested in the horse whipping of House Democrats, but I’m not permitted to talk about that), I decided to do a little research into new fashions presented at this season’s fashion shows by some of Lady M’s favorite designers (dead or alive).

I think you’ll like what I found, and will agree that they’ll be absolutely fabulous for MO.

Here’s a little something from Alexander McQueen’s house (may he rest in peace). I like to call this “the Red Queen,” and think it would be perfect for the signing of Obamacare into law later this week.



This one I really like, but think it might make a better dust ruffle for the Lincoln bedroom four poster- although I suppose that will ensure it finds its way into MO’s power rotation.







commes de gacon Now this one is from Desi’s favorite designer, Commes de Garcon, and as you can see, it’s a new twist on the ever popular boob belt theme.  How I wish I had that type of insight and talent! Not that I’m unhappy with my current position.

This look used to be called “matronly droop.”






Ah! Now we’re talkin’! The full border guard ensemble from our fave, Moschino. This will be great for when we finally get around to signing our Amnesty bill into law!

And wait till you see what I found for the signing of the Cap and Tax bill! Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel - not one of our current favorites, but he may be soon. This is a little something from his Paris “The World Is Melting” show:

karl's yeti 

The Red Panda, aka the Full Yeti: Note, NOT Wookie!

Karl brought in huge blocks of ice and let them melt all over the runway, to give his clients a full appreciation for a global warming meltdown. I guess he didn’t get the Climategate memos.Or, like the MSM, he already had the whole show  planned and didn’t feel like changing the script.  And what a spectacular show it was! And look how prescient my design for Lady' M’s Darth Vader look was:






another condi entry neo-mo-whip watermark

By the way, the bull whip won the fashion accessory contest handily. Although we did rack up a respectable number of votes for my favorite, nunchucks.

Fashion really is a dog-eat-dog business: it’s a lot like politics, only not as vacuous.

I’ve got to run now, we’re having a tea for any of the holdouts in Congress who haven’t agreed to sell their souls for Obamacare yet. On second thought, a tea party probably isn’t exactly the best idea. But the bull whip might come in handy.

neo-mo-nunchucks copy

Update: a late surge in absentee ballots indicates that the nunchucks actually won the accessory contest (yeah!). Just as well, it looks like we can use them at our tea party too.