Here’s confirmation: Lady M is a bona fide fashion icon. Look, here’s Beyoncé emulating all of her signature styles.
sleeveless, check
toned arms, check
boob belt, check
above (bad looking) knees, check 
too tight, check
bare (bad looking) legs, check
accented junk in the trunk, check, and check
multiple sparkly bracelets, check
big dangly earrings, check
fashion forward open toed shoes, check
Keep it up Beyonce, and maybe you, too can be FLOTUS some day. Keep your eye out for an intelligent, articulate socialist to hook up with and you are golden, babe. Might I suggest Sean Penn? I know he’s not black, but some of his best friends are people of color.
He does seem to have that chauffeur thing going on, but that’s probably because he’s from Hollywood and used to all that deference and fawning adulation. That, and the fact that he thinks people who call a dictator a dictator should be put in jail, makes him a natural for the Big White.
So, give it a thought, B. I think we might have a couple of openings here in about 3 years. And I would love to reflect that booty of yours.
Posts
Marvelous.
ReplyDeleteMrs. P
That velvet dress is the cheapest looking (and I don't mean cost) thing MOO has ever worn. And how can we ever forget the mermaid dress? "Memories light the corners of my mind. Misty water colored memories...' Sniff, sniff.
ReplyDeleteBeen following for awhile...don't comment much but this one's a hoot! Love your sarcasm....
ReplyDeleteAnd please keep up the fun posts!
Beyonce forgot something. Can't see her bra or underwear lines.
ReplyDeleteAfter some serious consideration, it's apparent that I must decline the honor of being the next FLOTUS. My deficiencies are legion; no wide belts, plain dress shoes, really like to wear hose, think a wig-hat would be too hot, and a wardrobe full of non-descript conservative outfits. There are actually (gasp!) two (2) black dresses in my closet and that alone should disqualify my FLOTUS aspirations.
ReplyDeleteIn the spirit of post-racial, non-disciminatory, bi-partisonship, non-denomanational, pro-obesity, multi-nationality love, I nominate Aretha Franklin to be my new FLOTUS. That lady KNOWS how to dress!!
If we're going strictly on proportions and style, I nominate the Statue of Liberty (although her waist might be a little smaller).
ReplyDeleteYou forgot "clean": an "articulate, clean" socialist.
ReplyDeleteSo Penn won't do.
At the Penneys where I work we sell tops that come with cheap boob belts (I'm don't think there's any other kind). Today I saw one of my coworkers WEARING one for the first time. I wanted to say something to her but didn't want to hurt her feelings. At least her dress and cardigan weren't too tight.
ReplyDeleteRattlesnake
Wow, that second-skin, white sheath
ReplyDelete("too tight" caption)
fits like a sausage casing.
Stuffed Sausage of the United States!
SSOUS!
The bad knees would look a lot better with
ReplyDelete(surprise!) nylons over them.
(Would also cover the veins popping out on MOO's legs.)
This chronic bare-legged look is so crude.
You see, Beyonce is TRYING to look cheap.
ReplyDeleteThat's the difference.
Beyonce could never duplicate that infamous scowl.
ReplyDeleteLook! There's even a special scowl for Inauguration Day!
Mrs. P,
ReplyDeleteI believe that's "mah-vah-ous"
Cinder,
you, of all people, should know how difficult it is to fashion gowns from left over draperies.
Hi Vicki! Welcome to our 12-step program.
Winnie,
That girl knows how to NOT wear underwear properly, for sure.
Srdem,
Aretha! She might stretch my refractive powers, but that girl can belt them out. It sure would be more fun around here.Plus, no more boob belts, I'm quite sure.
Portia,
The Statue of Liberty is not eligible, since she was foreign born, but I think I could get her a certificate of live birth from Hawaii.
Anon1,
Since Sean is white, clean is not a requirement. Otherwise, you’re right, he’d be disqualified.
Rattle,
Here’s what I want you to do: hide in one of the dressing rooms. After the store closes, get a really, really big garbage bag …
Anon2
Eeyew! Hog intestines! You’ve spoiled my whole weekend. Now I’m going to have to get Ssoused.
Anon3,
Stockings: I believe Lady M has heard OF them. Never had much use for them though. They are so bourgeois.
Anon4,
Yeah, in her line of business it’s considered an asset. So she’s got that going for her.
Anon5,
Scowls: you either come by them naturally, or you don’t.