Saturday, July 21, 2012

Saturday Week in Review

I didn’t see the normal Friday night news dump this week. I guess we figured there was already enough negative news floating around this week to make our usual “bad-news Friday” unnecessary.


Just on the economic front alone it was an awesome week: 

1. Weekly jobless claims shot up to 386,000.

2. Foreclosures are hitting our most vulnerable citizens.

3. Factory activity contracted for a second month in a row.

4. Home sales dropped a whopping 5.4% -- the biggest drop in nine months.

5. Retail sales dropped for the third straight month.

6. Consumer confidence dipped to 84.7.

7. U.S. business inventories increased by .3%...

8. …sales dropped .1%.

9. Food prices are skyrocketing. [I swear, if those peanut butter and mayonnaise jars get any smaller, Lady M’s going to have to order them by the case lot]

10. More Americans are getting federal disability than jobs.


Plus, I see that unemployment rose in 27 of the 57 states last month. How can that be good for our team? We better get the spinners back in the game, because it might be time for a good story right about now.


That’s a lot of bad news that would normally need to go in the spin cycle for days,


butt as I mentioned yesterday, we are grateful for the distraction created by that Tea Party guy (h/t ABC’s George Steffannnoapolistishire??) in Colorado. That pretty much makes all this bad news disappear – heck, all the cable news shows are still 24/7 on the Dark Knight.

Even Big Guy and the presumed Republican candidate (PRC) suspended campaigning (although Big Guy only did it because Romney did) and addressed the situation.

First BO, who - in that special way he has - managed to personalize this tragedy, thereby making it feel more heartfelt:

My daughters go to the movies. What if Malia and Sasha had been at the theater, as so many of our kids do every day? Michelle and I will be fortunate enough to hug our girls a little tighter tonight, and I’m sure you will do the same with your children. But for those parents who may not be so lucky, we have to embrace them and let them know we will be there for them as a nation.

Of course, if the Wee Wons had been there, their SS guardians would have mowed the dirtbag down with their uzis the moment he walked out from behind the screen. Too bad somebody in the audience at theater 9 wasn’t packin’ an uzi. Never leave home without one!

Anyway, when BO was done emoting, his fans immediately began chanting “4 more years!” - because who wouldn’t want a narcissist genuine guy like this as their president?

bo 4 more years science mystery theatre

When you’re a rock star like BO you just have to get used to that sort of reaction, no matter how inappropriate:

bo lgbt

Meanwhile, our spin-meisters note that PRC Romney just phones it in:

“Our hearts break with the sadness of this unspeakable tragedy. Ann and I join the president and first lady and all Americans in offering our deepest condolences to those whose lives were shattered in a few moments, a few moments of evil in Colorado,”

How impersonal, aloof, out of touch, can you get? Speaking of evil, at a time like this? And God. Inappropriate.

OB-TV634_Romney_G_20120720134100“The Apostle Paul explained: Blessed be God who comforteth us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble.”

Did I mention that Romney is a Mormon? I’ll bet he’s rich too – something that really bothers typical white women with big brains like Cher:


That’s probably why she felt it necessary to cast aspersion on Mitt’s mental abilities and compassion, in addition to his faith and wealth.


Apparently she didn’t actually watch Big Guy deliver his remarks; he’s pretty wedded to those lectern notes of his when TOTUS isn’t around. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; unless you consider it to be a sign of weak mental capacity and insincerity if you don’t speak off the top of your head, like Cher does.

Since the head bobbing up and down is even more distracting than the head bobbing from left to right, I think it best to go back to reading everything as it scrolls smoothly over TOTUS’ screen. Then you look and sound really smart. Just like an actor.

bo nose22I, Caesar

BTW - and speaking of Big Brains - I wonder which one of them decided to put TOTUS on administrative leave? Bad idea.

I know I’ve given Lady M short shrift lately due to all the other news, frankly I thought you might enjoy the break after the full Brazilian, butt I’ll try to do better next week.

Till then, let’s all just enjoy MO’s big day out in Philly, hawking the virtues of No Child’s Fat Behind.

Lady M looks great butt I’d like to give a shout out to Kathleen Sibelius: “Hey Kitty! Your age is showing, cover those knees. And it wouldn’t hurt to put a few pounds on those skinny bones. I know we’re all about ‘no fat behinds’ butt you’re starting to look a little anorexic.” I HOPE she finds that helpful.

mo moves


mo  Camp Noah in Birmingham, AlaLove the little blue chef hats, butt that big old blue flour sack…not so much.

mo's little eyeHere we can examine Lady M’s little eye up close and personal: what’s up with that?


mo hi every body.


Porkey-Pig-looney-tunes-2336886-446-446That’s all Folks!


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Friday, July 20, 2012

The truth is out there. But sometimes it’s a Composite.

We’re working through our response to the latest vicious Romney attack ads. Here’s what we’ve got so far:

see hear speakSee no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil: the new Obama 2012 campaign slogan1

Hear no evil. Just don’t listen:

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: “They’ll have a bunch of ads with the scary voices and you know, most of what you hear you can just go mute. Just press the mute button. That’s a good thing about the remote. Or you can use the DVR and fast forward.

See no evil. Just refuse to see what you think you saw:

The president's supporters have a multipronged counterargument: Either he didn't make those comments or they were taken out of context or even if they are in context they don't matter because we should be reading between the lines.(snip)

A commenter on Emily Ekins' post last night goes even further, condemning the "intellectual dishonesty it takes to believe that's what he said.

To which author Tim Cavanaugh replies: "So I'll bite: What should we believe he said, other than what he in fact said? "

Thank you Tim, that’s a good lead-in for our next and final strategy:

Speak no evil: This one is the trickiest so far, especially since we’ve already tried the old “it was taken out of context” trick and couldn’t get enough air to fly a paper airplane. In fact, Mrs. P argues that:

“…the context makes the quote worse, not better.”

Obama’s utter contempt for the idea that people deserve to prosper due to the fruits of their own labors and their own skills is made even deeper and more apparent from the entire quote...

This presented a bit of a dilemma given the fact that once you’ve let the truth horse out of the barn it’s always harder to claim you’ve solved the problem by going back in the barn and closing the door. Butt after days of noodling and strategizing, here’s what the Big Brained Dream Team come up with: “He didn’t say that! No, really! He didn’t!”

Up till now - no matter how ridiculous on it’s face - if it was uttered by our silver-tongued devil it was taken on its face to be brilliant and our lapdogs would jump through hoops to prove it. Since even they’re having a little trouble with this one, BBDT decided that step one was to send BO out to claim he didn’t say that! This will push the silver-tongue myth to the brink, butt I think he can pull it off. It’s just a slight variation on the Emperor’s New Clothes fairy tale, and that one’s still working for us.

Step two: our Truth Team launched an ad calling Romney a liar for daring to use our own words against us. I guess it’s a pretty good ad, butt when Little Mo ran it through the MOTUS truth-o-lator it spit out a slightly different version. If you insist on your truth being perfectly clear and completely transparent you may want to watch the MOTUS composite version of the campaign ad:

Let me make this perfectly clear: Romney said that Big Guy said “if you’ve got a business, you didn’t  build that. Somebody else made that happen.” When what Big Guy actually said was “if you’ve got a business, that, you didn’t  build that. Somebody else made that happen.

Did you see how “that” worked? Romney clearly misquoted Big Guy and took his words out of context by dropping “that” superfluous non-fluency “that” Big Guy inserted. (Note to self: we have got to get TOTUS back in the game.)

Anyway, if this new attack campaign doesn’t do the trick, we’ll just have to change the subject. I can’t believe I’m saying this, butt thank goodness for that distraction in Colorado. We’ll be making the most of that later today to once again put Big Guy’s humanity and empathy on display and to ask for a reinstallation of civility in America. And to remind everyone why the Second Amendment is really not such a good idea after all.

guns didn't do that -WM

Now, in unrelated news, it seems that the freak October snowstorm that knocked out power for days across the the Northeast last year has resulted in a mini-baby boom, with maternity wards all up and down the Atlantic seaboard being unusually busy this week. Big Guy issued a statement earlier today issuing congratulations to the new parents, butt reminding them that “you didn’t do that on your own, Mother Nature did that.”

1Troll note: I chose these cute little black AND white penguins instead of the racist chimps conventionally used to illustrate this aphorism. You’re welcome.

Linked By: Mother124 on NewsBusters, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and BadBlue, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Mireille Buser on twitter, Thanks!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Case of the Composite Birth Certificate

There are 8 million stories in the naked city.

dupont circleSome of the naked city’s naked statuary at DuPont Circle

And we all know how much Big Guy loves a good story:


I call this story “The Case of the Composite Birth Certificate.” And according to Sheriff Arpaio, it’s not just a figure of speech:

Investigators for an Arizona sheriff's volunteer posse have declared that President Barack Obama's birth certificate is definitely fraudulent.

Members of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's posse said in March that there was probable cause that Obama's long-form birth certificate released by the White House in April 2011 was a computer-generated forgery.

Now, Arpaio says investigators are positive it's fraudulent.

Mike Zullo, the posse's chief investigator, said numeric codes on certain parts of the birth certificate indicate that those parts weren't filled out, yet those sections asking for the race of Obama's father and his field of work or study were completed.

Meanwhile, across town, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and Debbie Wasserman (aka “Sargent”) Schultz have all coalesced around the demand that Mitt Romney release all of his tax returns, not just the ones required by federal law. They want them all the way back to his days as a – supposedly – struggling young student at BYU in order to allow their crack tax forensics audit team to comb through them looking for any and all possible irregularities that Turbo Tax didn’t catch. And to point out that he’s R.I.C.H., unlike Nancy, Harry and Debbie. That way we can get that whole 99% vs the 1% thing going again without actually having to embrace the Occupiers. They’ve proven themselves to be a tad unreliable with the “values-voters” category. That wouldn’t normally have been a problem, butt in an election year some of these voters in swing states tend to get a little queasy about all the drug use, rape, theft and general hooliganism going on in the Occupier camps. So this is a much cleaner way to tee up class warfare.

And make no mistake: the R-Words are making this a class war!

Butt the gang of 3 would like you to know that this is not a partisan position; they would demand the same from any and all other candidates as well. Other than themselves of course: when asked to release all their tax records, their spokespersons indicated that they have released “full financial disclosure required under the law.” Which I guess is good enough to qualify you for a job as former Speaker of the House and Minority Leader,  Senate Majority Leader and Chairman of the DNC, butt not, according to Harry, good enough to qualify you for  dog catcher. If you’re Mitt Romney that is. Or not a Democrat.

Funny, isn’t it?  If someone other than Donald Trump had been half as interested in BHO’s life story back in 2008 as they are in Mitt Romney’s tax records from back when he was saving the Olympics we never would have been able to fundamentally change America in Big Guy’s image and likeness.  So I’m just saying: be careful what you ask for.

Just a little food for thought: if we would have had this “story”


Instead of this “story:”


back in ‘08, we might not have this “story” now:

120604-foodstampsTracking Food Stamp usage in the United States: guaranteed 100% fraud free

h/t Doug Ross

Just for the record, both the Donald and the Sheriff are still making a big stink about Big Guy’s records. And believe me when I tell you we are going to do all we can to keep you focused on the topics we choose. And, despite what you might read at Lady Liberty 1885’s blog, those topics do not include the cost of some of Lady M’s little mini-vacays.

So for the last time: we HAVE the original Certificate of Live Birth. What more do you want from us?


As I said at the beginning: there are a million stories in the naked city; this is just one of them. Want another?  We’ve got more:

hawaian birthcertificate

You keep demanding more, and we’ll keep delivering more:

bo birth cretificate copy

Be sure to tune in next week.We’ve already got a lot more episodes in the can, butt we’re still tinkering around with a name for the series.


Linked By: Clarice on JustOneMinute, and  Blonde Gator on NewsBusters, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and MRM on twitter, and TelePromptOTUS on twitter, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Has TOTUS been put on administrative leave?

As far as I know TOTUS doesn’t need Ambien to go into sleep mode:


and he didn’t run into anybody in his car so I’m not sure why he’s been placed on administrative leave.

I’m afraid this can only mean one thing:

“Hello, my name is Barry, and I am an addict.”Obama_Teleprompter_Incompetence_Poster1 Addicted since 2007

Uh oh: Teleprompter Rehab? Right before the reelection? What on earth are our puppeteers thinking?


That’s like asking a chocoholic to give up chocolate right before Halloween.

(Is that racist? Because I’ve only seen dark and milk chocolate witcheschocolatewitches

…butt I see more and more white chocolate hoods every year)ghosts-600x450

Anyway, apparently it’s true: they’re making BO give up his TOTUS habit:

 President Obama is weaning himself off his teleprompter.


somebody turn totus on“I just can’t quit you.”

At recent campaign events in Pennsylvania, Virginia and again Monday in Ohio, Obama spoke to crowds in high school gymnasiums and at crowded outdoor events without his teleprompter, instead using written notes.

So, brainiacs at Team Obama Central, how’s the plan working out for us so far? Do you really think we need any more slipups when Big Guy goes off prompter?

Doesn’t anybody around here remember how those pesky “middle Americans” react when Big Guy leaves TOTUS behind and inadvertently lets another little truth slip through the normal filters? Is there anyone on staff old enough to remember the bitter clingers? They’re still talking about that little “guns and religion” slip of the tongue in all 57 states!


And have they forgotten the flap Fox and el Rushbo made over Big Guy’s perfectly reasonable unscripted comment to Joe, who apparently thinks he can spread his wealth around all on his own with out aid of the government?

And let’s not forget the push back that happens every time BO makes one of those off-prompter remarks that critics think implies a disdain for that persistent and peculiar strain of American rugged individualism.

So if our puppet masters didn’t think that history began the day they joined the O-team they wouldn’t have been so surprised when BO went cold turkey last Friday and channeled Princess Pocahontas:

“You didn’t get there on your own “Somebody else made that happen.”

blago rezko friendw convictionsMaybe some of your friends with convictions?

“There was a great teacher somewhere in your life.”

the communistSome people think that teacher might have been Frank Marshall Davis

obamadavis1Barry and Frankie: minimally a mentor-mentee relationship 

I don’t know where all this is headed, butt I’m going to try to stand clear. It’s already giving me the vapors and I’m not sure my new Obamacare will let me get a breathalyzer.

There’s already been too much violence.

totus commits suicideTOTUS made a leap for freedom. It didn’t end well.

And if Mitt decides to start fighting back, it could start getting pretty ugly around here. Because I think Mitt could team up with any number of somebodies to form a more perfect union than the current dynamic duo playing Batman and Robin around here.

bo joey

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

That game was the pits. Next time we’re getting a real Brazilian.

Youser! That was some game, no? 

The crowd did a bit of trash talking, too, booing the first couple after the first lady playfully rebuffed Obama’s advances when they were featured on the “Kiss Cam” on Verizon Center’s overhead scoreboard.

obamakisscam-500x375Oh Noes! Not a rebuff! I wonder if Lady M knows something we don’t?

Hold the phone – incoming from Obama campaign central, calling for an instant replay:

The Obamas did share a couple of public kisses in the second half, the first of which elicited some cheers and chants of “four more years!” (Notably, the White House press pool, which had been moved from the arena to vans before the second kiss, was led back into the arena in time to witness the smooch, according to a pool report.)

bo mo eewwwTake 2: call back our press corpse!

Everybody was happy before we got that call:

bo joe 2BO and Joe were happy

reg and boBO and Reggie were happy

bo mo sweetWee Won 1 was happy

our first musical familyEven Lady M was happy

Then we got the call from Plouffe-Daddy: Lady M’s shyness was making us look bad. Ann never would have rebuffed Mitt like that.

AFP 508562107

So, back to the arena, hard working press corpse, we called for a replay:

bomo smoochiesThat’s better!

beer frameButt that calls for a beer!

bo mo give me another beerMaybe two.

What the heck, you’ve been working hard, let’s have one more for the road – you’re not driving.

bo beer2

All righty then – everyone’s happy now!

mo bo

Well, not everyone:

reggie and bo together again

Just every Won who counts:

mo oh dear lord

Oh. My. Dear. Lord. What have I done?

I’m sorry, that’s all I can do for you today. It’s not that I’m hiding in shame, it’s just that Raj is having a little hand surgery today in order to preserve his ability to remain our magic nerd, and he needs a driver. Lady M volunteered, butt she’s still a little hung over so I’m taking him myself.

Till tomorrow…at which time I hope you can forgive me.

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