Saturday, December 3, 2011

Fast, Furious and FUBAR

“F.U.B.A.R. – yes, wait a minute, I know what that stands for - just give me a minute!”

Since yesterday was such a big news day, I have a roundup for you. First, the good news:

File this one under “Only in America”  - Unemployment rate DROPS below 9%! For the first time in months, the numbers weren’t unexpected. Get the facts:

120,000 jobs created. 315,000 workers “called it quits” and hung up their work shoes permanently. And who knows how many 18 year olds just decided it was a waste of their time to even look for a job, so they’re just staying in Mommy and Daddy's basement practicing their Xbox skills in case they’re called on to save America from the tyranny of Capitalism.

Butt let’s not bury the lede: unemployment DROPS! We’ve been working on this for months, at the Government Center for Applied Math-a-magics.


And believe me – we have been laboring at it. Big Guy and his secretary, Hilda Solis have been trying to convince the middle class white people that they don’t really need a job (because, as you recall, we’ve decided we don’t really need them) while trying to get our illegal immigrants undocumented workers visitors on the job roles, officially and ASAP.

Screenshot Studio capture #333

Anyway, our plans must be working, because numbers don’t lie:

The participation rate dropped to 64 percent, from 64.2 percent in October, representing 315,000 fewer job-seekers.

The total amount of those without a job fell to 13.3 million.

The drop in participation rate is significant in that had the labor force remained steady, the jobless rate would have dropped to 8.8 percent, according to Citigroup calculations. If the labor force had followed trend growth, unemployment would be at 8.9 percent.

"When the unemployment rate declines, we want to see both employment and participation increase as discouraged workers return to the labor force. Today, we got the former, but not the latter, making the 0.4 percent drop look a bit suspect,"

See how all that works? Good. You’re not supposed to.

This next story is not really important, butt I mention it because I believe it is the first time anyone on Ms.NBC has ever said anything nice about any Republican woman. Never-the-less, file this one under “unsolicited endorsement of the week” - Meghan McCain explains as part of her official duties as a commentator that Michelle Bachmann is “just more smarter” than Sarah Palin. Which just goes to show that Ms. Meghan is just more astuter than her fellow Ms.NBC commentators.

meghan-mccain-tila-tequilaWho’e more smarterer: Meghan McCain or Paris Hilton?

Oh, and here’s the bad news, buried as usual in the late Friday document dump. Whoops!

The Justice Department on Friday provided Congress with documents detailing how department officials gave inaccurate information to a U.S. senator in the controversy surrounding Operation Fast and Furious (snip)

When your best defense tactic includes withdrawing a deceptive letter submitted to Congress, I’m not sure the facts are going to be on your side:

"that we will make a rare exception to the department's recognized protocols and provide you with information related to how the inaccurate information came to be included in the letter,"

It sounds like Congressman Issa agrees:

“It is about a failure that seems to be pervasive within Justice that investigations play fast and loose with the expectations of what is right or wrong when it comes to what I am going to call collateral damage,” he said.

Goodness! When Martha Stewart lied to the Department of Justice, she went to the slammer,


leaving us all without proper Christmas cookies that year.


Butt if the DoJ lies to us?

larry and eric swear in

We’ll look into it.

lies studies


And remember: Martha was never charged with, let alone convicted of, insider trading. Her crime was much more heinous: lying to a prosecutor. Which explains a lot.

insider trading

You can cheat, butt you can’t lie.

That’s all for now. Oh – one last thing: I too must admit that my “Department” (that would be just moi) “gave inaccurate information” indicating that there were no pictures of Lady M snapping off the head of a gingerbread man. I too “will make a rare exception to the department's recognized protocols and provide you with” the facts: one picture did apparently slip out. Don’t worry, we’re in the process of tracking down the culprit and I assure you justice will be served. Heads will roll!



Honestly, it’s just a nightmare around here any more. Ask anyone.

       headless gingerbreadPresidentALmartha-stewart-holding-cookie-tray-1210-s3-medium_new


Back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and centralcal on Just One Minute, Thanks!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Gilding the Lily Since 2008

Last night was the national Christmas (!)Tree Lighting ceremony right here in Washington Dee See. Lady M was accompanied by Granny R, the Wee Wons and her frog-prince. No, I mean Kermie.

lady m and the frogLady M with one of her frogs

First lady Michelle Obama made witty banter with a felt-covered amphibian.

“Call me Michelle,” the first lady said after Kermit the Frog called her “First Lady.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Kermit responded. “I have to call Miss Piggy ‘Your Majesty.’ ”

Hee. I’m glad we cleared that Miss Piggy thing up a while back.

This year’s tree is very pretty, even though we didn’t get to use any colored lights. Butt it is brand new.

DC tree

Sadly, the old one couldn’t withstand the winds of change. That’s right; a big wind knocked it over last February. It was subsequently replaced with one a bit smaller in stature from Pennsylvania – which could be a good omen for Rick Santorum.

Since there were no colored lights on our tree this year, Lady M wore her Joseph coat with a colorful scarf and holiday brooch – or perhaps that’s why we didn’t have any colored lights this year.



I think the overall multi-colored tweedy look with the orange batik print scarf and bejeweled flower burst pin created quite a festive look. In a Kwanza sort of way. There was one small disappointment: Even though we charged the batteries all last week with our Solyndra solar panels, they didn’t hold enough charge to light all those tiny LED twinkle lights embedded in Lady M’s festive tweed coat. So just use your imagination; it was stunning for about 2 minutes.


And here’s Big Guy’s annual photo with Santa,


or – as BO likes to joke every year - “the only man in the world who gives away more free stuff than I do.”

Now on to more important matters. I’m aware of the discussion yesterday regarding the potential ‘shopping of Lady M’s, uh, derriere at the Big White cookie fest on Wednesday. As you are well aware, I can neither confirm nor deny these rumors.

mo kkk The original photo that sparked the ‘shopped rumor

All I can do is provide a couple additional shots. I reflect, you decide:

white-house-holiday-preview-1Additional boo-tay shot from the cookie fest

obama-christmas-1…and from the tree lighting ceremony

Perhaps now would be a good time to review some of the finer points of photoshopping. To wit, with the right algorithm you can do – or undo - anything. I leave it to you to determine  whether the new fake “reality”  adds any value or provides any utility to the human condition.

uglytopretty2A new way to strive for perfection

All I can say for sure is that it is very postmodern, in that it can be used to deconstruct and reassemble an image into whatever reality you wish to create. And really, what can’t be improved on? We have voted en masse for the gilded lily.


Oh sure, photo manipulation obscures reality, encouraging our superficial preference for appealing images over objective truth. Wring your hands if you will, butt isn’t that really what HOPE and CHANGE was all about?


HOPE and CHANGE: Gilding the lily since 2008.



H/T Instapundit

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Winter Holiday Season Three: Pay-To-Play

Lady M was very busy yesterday: first she shined her light on the Building a Healthier Future summit by delivering the keynote address:

Building a Healthier Future summit mo

Building a Healthier Future - “Fostering a dialogue that explores new strategies, rethinks current programs, and pushes innovation to a transformative level seeking to improve children’s health.” Translation: we need more money for our SEIU school breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner programs.

Then it was back to the People’s House where MO hosted a sneak preview of our Holiday decorations for members of military Blue Star and Gold Star families. This year’s decorations include a 400-pound gingerbread, marzipan and white (!) chocolate White House,

400-pounds of gingerbread, white chocolate and marzipanThis confection has round the clock Secret Service protection till after the holidays: we don’t want to “lose” the portico to holiday nibblers, if you catch my drift.

the official Big White Christmas Holiday Tree in the Blue Room:

sgs tree2011 theme: “Shine, Give, Share” – we actually pay people to come up with this stuff!

Like the rest of the Big White the tree’s decorated – cynically, some would charge - with tributes to our military heroes (Lady M’s personal favorite campaign theme).


Also prominently featured in this year’s decorating scheme is Little Bo, hands down the Wons’ most lovable family member. Some critics charge that this theme is a bit cynical as well – relying on a cute little dog to curry favor with the public. Butt I don’t know: his favorability polls are higher than Lady M and Big Guy’s combined. I don’t think we’ve gone overboard.

buttons on Bocookiesfake bofelt bo

Then we did our annual holiday photos: here’s one with both a cute likeness of Little Bo and a cute kid:

mo ewww

I’m not sure what’s causing Lady M to wrinkle her nose here, butt I’ll hazard a guess that the military Mom on her left reminded her a little too much of Sarah Palin. Butt that’s just a guess.

Then Lady M decorated cookies with the kids, like she did last year, only this year no pictures were allowed of Lady M biting the heads off the gingerbread men. That didn’t test well.

cookies moLook at all the wonderful props helping us Shine, Give and Share

The whole event was great and provided dozens of good photo ops - except for this one with the kids who donned the toques and ended up looking more like miniature KKK members than chefs. We won’t do that again.

mo kkkI know it’s hard to tell with all the life-like Little Bo’s scattered around, butt that’s the real Little Bo’s butt, right under Lady M’s.

Any hoo, while Lady M was spreading the holiday cheer around here, Big Guy was in New York collecting bags full of holiday cheer. Much to the Donald’s chagrin, he arrived on the same day as the lighting of the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center.  And while the tree lighting drew a crowd of thousands, the modern-day Robber Barons (crony capitalists of New York) were busy elsewhere, meeting with Big Guy to throw some gold in the 2012 Salvation’s army kettle.

A brief, very private, home reception went for $30k per Baron/Baroness. Dinner for 454 marks hauled in $35k per head, and a more proletarian event at the Sheraton was a downright bargain-buster at just $1K each. Ho, Ho Ho!

The Zuccotti Park occupiers are really tilting at the wrong windmill.

OWIES, barking up the wrong tree.

Of course, first you need to understand how capitalism works before you can appreciated how crony capitalism negates it. Maybe they’ll get to all that next semester. After they’ve studied economics. And fascism. Because it’s hard to see how they interact until you at least know a little bit about the two of them.

Obama didn’t invent “Pay-to-Play” politics, butt he sure did put a high priced shine on it.


"One of the common failings among honorable people is a failure to appreciate how thoroughly dishonorable some other people can be, and how dangerous it is to trust them." Thomas Sowell

floating O head

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

“Greedy Woman! You’ve Swallowed All the Cake!”

I was sorry to hear that Barney Frank is retiring after fleecing the country for 30+ years. I don’t think we’ll  enjoy that level of Congressional entertainment for quite awhile. Butt I guess after being redistricted to 350,000 new voters, BF didn’t have the “fire in the belly” or wherever, needed to throw those “Get to Know Barney” house parties he & his BBF gave back in the day. Too bad, because we really need more guys like him on the Hill: you know, the kind who know how to have their cake and eat it too.

mo antoinette-1 WM

It wasn’t cake, butt Lady M did manage to slip out the other night to enjoy a bit of the good life after having sacrificed all last week (turkeys, “Christmas” trees, funerals – oy!). She and a few lady friends went to Co Co. Sala Restaurant and Chocolate Lounge. Emphasis on “Chocolate.”

michelle-obama-co-co-sala-2011-11-29Très Chic Chocolate Lounge

First lady Michelle Obama enjoyed a lovely evening at Co Co. Sala on F Street on Monday night. A Yeas & Nays source tells us she dined with seven friends for dinner and, of course, dessert -- which featured an edible chocolate sculpture and house-made artisanal chocolates by Chef Santosh Tiptur. We're told Obama's favorite savory was Chef Tiptur's Moroccan Swordfish Sliders with chermoula marinade, fennel salad, aged pecorino and hazelnut coffee dressing. The restaurant owners later posted to Twitter about their excitement of having her as a guest. "It was such an honor to have first lady Michelle Obama dine at Co Co. Sala last night. What an exciting and humbling experience!"

Humbling indeed, serving spicy deep sea snacks to Lady M. BTW, I think she forgot to say “thank you” to you guys for picking up the tab, so let me say it: “Thank you!” You know how things go after a few of those chocolate martinis!

Note for anyone interested in future humbling experiences: she also enjoys shark sliders with those martinis.

Lady M, swimming with the sharks. Snacks following the show.

I don’t know why, but this discussion about letting them eat cake reminded me of this excellent little economics lesson brought to us by our friends in England (aka Great Britain). Barney Frank, if you’re still confused about what your role in the financial meltdown was, you might wish to watch this too. It succinctly explains the germane point: you really CAN’T have your cake and eat it too. At least not forever.

Meanwhile, Big Guy’s poll numbers just keep plummeting; surpassing even the loveable Jimmy Carter’s. Thank goodness Congress’ ratings are falling even lower, faster - providing his WTF team with the Truman anti-Congress model for ensuring victory.


Butt heck, nothing is going our way. Big Guy couldn’t even make it to the top of GQ’s “Least Influential People Alive” list – coming in last behind Ms.NBC’s Ed Shultz (#3), Tina Brown (#17) and John Boehner (#24).

President Obama came in at number 25 on the glossy's year-end list of year "great artisans of utter uselessness." Also landing a spot among those GQ claims spent the last year "devouring attention and contributing nothing to productive society."

“Great artisans of utter uselessness?” Is that code for something? Because it sure sounds racist to me. And how about "devouring attention and contributing nothing to productive society"? That is definitely racist, because I’ve heard the same accusations hurled at Lady M.

mo hulaMichelle Obama Obesitymichelle-obama-lets-move-10
Nothing productive? Pul-eeze. We banned Happy Meals, didn’t we?

And here - tell me that Big Guy’s comments on the most recent embassy incident in Iran are “attention consuming and unproductive”


I know he speaks English eloquently, butt he may have to brush up on his “Great Britain” if he’s going to continue to talk about world events without TOTUS’ assistance.

Better yet, when TOTUS is not there to help, sit silently and smile.


Butt, not like that…and cinch up that tie for crying out loud! You’re the President!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

We have met our advocates, and they ARE us.

Our topic today: New Democratic Campaign Strategy for 2012: winning With Out Whites (WOW)

Screenshot Studio capture #329

Apparently Democrats have hit on their preferred strategy:

…a revised Democratic alliance in which whites without college degrees are effectively replaced by well-educated socially liberal whites in alliance with the growing ranks of less affluent minority voters, especially Hispanics.

The 2012 approach treats white voters without college degrees as an unattainable cohort.

In a nutshell, we’ve given up on Joe the Plumber and are going with the intellectual elitists and the perpetual (by design) underclass:

All pretense of trying to win a majority of the white working class has been effectively jettisoned in favor of cementing a center-left coalition made up, on the one hand, of voters who have gotten ahead on the basis of educational attainment — professors, artists, designers, editors, human resources managers, lawyers, librarians, social workers, teachers and therapists — and a second, substantial constituency of lower-income voters who are disproportionately African-American and Hispanic.

Here is a gallery of some of the people from these elite professions that we’ll be relying on this time around (again):

ward-churchillProfessor Ward Churchill

obama voterUnnamed Street Artist, following his bliss

la-quan-smith-gatecrasher-magazine-amanda-sidmanDesigner LaQuan Smith, Lady M hasn’t worn him yet, butt she will


World famous editors, Pinchy Sulzberger and Ed Asner



be-a-happy-worker-fHuman Resource Managers of America

Len-Weinglass-William-Kunstler1William Kunstler, American lawyer-advocate of radical reprobates for generations


Librarians of America                             H/T: Gerard

SOCIAL WORKERS FOR 99%Social Workers of America


sdsu-2Teachers of America



and a second, substantial constituency of lower-income voters who are disproportionately African-American”


“and Hispanic,”       


as well as peoples of other colors:


Since we didn’t mention them by name, butt I know we’re counting on them, I guess we’re just taking our crony-capitalists of any hue and from all walks of commerce for granted.


And I guess this means that Big Guy’s team has decided to stick with the OWIES. Although without the Wall Street bankers in his stable this time around, we may have to resort to the OWIES preferred method of commerce - a new socio-economic-political paradigm  - barter.

Also, since we are no longer assuming that we have the doctors in our tent, you might want to raise a few chickens, just in case you get sick.



So I guess the only real question is, Can Big Guy really win the Big White without any of the little Whites? 

imagesCAUOZFTUNASCAR fans create an American flag in the grandstands

I suppose it depends on whether they vote or not.

Yeah, this is Dr. Jilly. She’s white, just like you.


mo funa iwht nascarLooks like we wasted a perfectly good Sunday at NASCAR


“WOW” I guess that NASCAR reception really rubbed Lady M and Big Guy the wrong way.

Linked by: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BASIL99 on Hillary Is 44, Thanks!