The Sun God Cometh

I have to catch an early flight so I leave you to figure out on your own: why did Big Guy really go to Stonehenge yesterday? He said it was because it was on his bucket list.

Butt it seems an odd bucket list item for a man of the modern world, if you know what I mean:

Butt shoot, he was right around the corner so why not?

Still, it made a rather odd photo op, what was he doing? Checking his celestial calendar? Calculating the incalculable pi?

Wait, wait! I think I’ve it!

Worshipping the sun god?

Solstice worshipper

Your guess is as good as mine, so have at it.

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Too Funny. Or Die.

Today’s post is dedicated to Joan Rivers. Because she was funny and she made you laugh, on purpose. Yes, she could be crude, mean, non-politically correct; everything we need as antidotes to the touchy-feely world crafted by our politically correct betters. Oh, they’re funny too, only not on purpose;- and they make you laugh not in a “funny ha ha” way, butt more of a “Funny or Die” way. Which sounds a little like the way those pesky Islamic extremists win people to their side: “convert or die.”

For example, Barry on the Funny or Die network’s “Between Two Ferns” show last March.

Or Lady M who appeared on Funny or Die’s Snackpocalypse! Public Service Propaganda just this week, eating a carrot:

SNACKPOCALYPSE with Chloe Grace Moretz, Tyler Posey, and First Lady Michelle Obama from Funny Or Die

Lady M’s key line in the bit: “Don’t you hate when trailers give away the whole movie?” as she crunches on carrots. The funny part happened so fast you might have missed it so I did a screenshot for you: here’s the part where she missed her mouth with the carrot and hit her lip-glossed lip instead. And I swear, that wasn’t even in the script – she ad libbed (ad lipped?) the whole thing!

Wouldn’t you think that pie hole would be big enough for a skinny little carrot to find it’s way into without a special guidance system?

And about her line,  “Don’t you hate when trailers give away the whole movie?”  Why yes, yes we do.

Barry, 2009

h/t Dewey From Detroit’s Flatsimile Theater

Butt Joanie, she was intentionally funny, to her core; her wicked, mean-girl, politically incorrect core. And she did it for 6 decades.

Joannie, 1965

Joan, Las Vegas 1974: with Sonny Bono, Tom Jones, Debbie Reynolds and Liberace

Joan, 1984 with Nancy Reagan (!) who is hugging Pearl Baily (!). That’s future First Lady Barbara Bush in the back row.

Joan liked to quote Winston Churchill’s comment that “when you make someone laugh you give them a little vacation.” Thanks for all the mini-vacays, Joanie. We’ll all miss them.

Joan, circa forevermore. R.I.P Joanie

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Islamic State Zombies: 3 Strategies Revealed

This is not a drill, we have a situation here; the Islamic State Zombies (ISZ) present an existential threat to Western Civilization and you must choose a leader to follow. Which one would you choose?

1. Our Prezzy, who thinks we can shrink the ISZ to a “manageable problem.”

“We know that if we are joined by the international community, we can continue to shrink ISIL’s sphere of influence, its effectiveness, its financing, its military capabilities to the point where it is a manageable problem.”

As far as I know Barry can’t manage his way out of a brown paper bag (racist alert).

“What we’ve got to do is make sure that we are organizing the Arab world, the Middle East, the Muslim world, along with the international community to isolate this cancer,”

Butt if No-Drama-Obama thinks he can somehow manage a ruthless band of Islamo-facists with techniques he learned in community organizing school who am I to question him?

2. Our Vice-Prezzy, who would at least have us follow the ISZ to the gates of hell:

I admire the rhetoric as well as his emotional patriotism; however I am not 100% certain what he means by “follow them to the gates of Hell.” I mean, what if he finds the ISIS leader to be “clean and articulate?”  The last time that happened Joey followed him to the gates of Hell too.

“Because Hell is where they will reside.” I’m right behind you chief!

3. Potentially our next President:

“Bomb them back to the stone age”

And when Senator Cruz draws a line in the sand, somehow I don’t think it’s metaphorical. 

Make your voice heard Chicago style:

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Dr. Pangloss, I Presume?

Are you familiar with Candide - Voltaire’s satirical treatise on the foolhardiness of perpetual optimism at the expense of reality?

The truth is, we really can’t afford much more optimism in the Age of Obama. There comes a point when not allowing reality to intrude on your version of the world, when preferring the unfounded optimism of Voltaire’s Dr. Pangloss borders on absolute delusion. It seems our own Dr. Krauthammer - a Doctor of Psychiatry not Philosophy – agrees. He has diagnosed our semi-retired President as suffering from just that:

“The image of a man in denial on the verge of delusion. This is a man who is narrowly redefining the threat essentially saying a drone strike here and a drone strike there and that’s all that we have to do. The Global War on Terror he declared to be over or an exaggeration or something that was intolerable in a speech he made in which he said the tide of war is receding and we can’t tolerate it, this war. And, here’s a man who comes into office and denies the existence of a war on terror… It is everywhere. A global war and Obama persistently calling them extremists as if they are extremists for what reason, they’re very upset about a lot of stuff. He will not call it by its name, Islamic radicalism. He will not explain or concede that it is a worldwide movement. And he will not concede that what he’s done for five years… has now beginning to bear fruit everywhere in the world.”

 

 

What is it, again, you call optimism that’s utterly absurd and out of touch with reality ? Oh, that’s right – Audacity:

Dr. Pangloss, I presume?

In Candide Dr. Pangloss, like Big Guy, is a tutor and propagandist for impractical metaphysical speculations on unknown topics, or as Voltaire called it, “metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigology.” I know what you’re thinking – don’t go there:

It’s just the study of nothing; I’m not sure if that is satire or irony.

Late Lament: Moody Blues

“We decide which is right. And which is an illusion?”

November 4, 2014

Please discuss.

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“Ich bin ein Berliner” and I have emigration rights!

Labor Day: very confusing.

Joey B was in Detroit with Big Labor telling them that “it’s time to take back America!” From whom? And hasn’t that sort of hate speech been deemed to be racist by our Attorney General? 

Also at the event, Teamsters’ President James Hoffa told the Labor Day crowd to get off their butts and head to the polls:

“If we stay home, we lose. We’ve got to have turnout. That’s how we turn this country around.”

Turn the country around? Haven’t you and your team been running it for the past 6 years? As I said, it was confusing.

Meanwhile Big Guy was in Milwaukee, pitching “HOPE” and “rights” – for everybody!

“Hope is what gives us courage; hope is what gave soldiers courage to storm a beach. Hope is what gives young people the strength to march for women’s rights and workers’ rights and civil rights and voting rights and gay rights and immigration rights.”

“I look around this room, and I see nothing but untapped potential.”

I’m not sure what HOPE or “Immigration Rights” has to do with Organized Labor. Maybe the unions are supposed to HOPE that amnesty and an open border doesn’t provide millions of aliens willing to do the work Americans union members are willing to do, only for less money.

And while talking up “immigration rights” on the one hand, I see that the other hand is simultaneously making “emigration rights” much more expensive: 

Americans who are abandoning their citizenship in droves are due to be charged five times more to surrender their passport under government plans announced yesterday.

It looks like you can come here for free, butt it’s going to cost you dearly if you wish to leave. Isn’t that the way it always starts? First, a charge for being an expat, later a huge penalty tax, and eventually you’re not allowed to leave at all.

Berlin Wall circa 1961

John F. Kennedy spoke of such things 1963:

“Freedom has many difficulties, and democracy is not perfect. But we have never had to put a wall up to keep our people in—to prevent them from leaving us.” – JFK, 1963 “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech

I suppose we could look at the bright side: that’s one way to get a border fence built.

Did you know that Pinocchio was a terrible motivational speaker?

“You have… oh boy.”

Oh yeah, as it turned out, he was.

“Oh boy,” indeed

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Four Years Hence And It’s Still The Same As It’s Ever Been

I was Inspired by Bijou’s posting of Doktor Zoom’s tweet yesterday:

So because I’m feeling lazy this Labor Day, and because it’s been nearly 4 years to the day that I originally posted “Once in a Lifetime”  I decided to repost this classic from my vault. Be sure to turn the music player on, it’s way more fun that way:

“Once in a Lifetime”

Originally posted August 30, 2010. I think you’ll remember the occasion:

This is so-ooo embarrassing. Here I am, thinking that the strange dress that looks like it’s already been caught in the rain was my biggest problem. So naturally that’s what I focused my circuitry on, the dress; I failed to consider the whole frame. Nor did I feel I had to as the one thing Big Guy is really good at, as a rule, are the visuals, so I totally was not ready for this:

“I was told there would be no geometry”

Vanderleun even gave it a musical reference, in case you missed the point:

You may ask yourself
How do I work this?
You may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
You may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
You may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
— Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime 1984

Inspired by Vanderleun’s insight, I took the opportunity to illustrate the long version, with music - in case you still don’t get it:

Once In A Lifetime (click button above to play)

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

 
And you may find yourself in another part of the world

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house,

with a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by/water flowing underground

Into the blue again/after the money's gone

Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?

 
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?

 
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!

  
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

 

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?

 
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?

And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?

And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Cartoon: Dan Collins Cartoons

  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...

Same as it ever was...

Like I said: with Big Guy, it’s all about visuals.

Wow! 4 years later and everything - the economy, the national debt, the confusing strategies - is still…same as it ever was, only worse. Especially the Jimmy Carter part: apparently both he and Big Guy still believe that Israel is the only thing standing in the way of peace on earth good will towards men.

Jimmy Carter, more delusional than ever, at the annual convention for the Islamic Society of North America on Saturday.

*sigh*

Same as it ever was...

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“Ask not for whom the bell tolls” I think you know...

“Clearly, a civilization that feels guilty for everything it is and does will lack the energy and conviction to defend itself.” - Jean-Francois Revel

Although it’s the wrong holiday,the theatrical reference of the century comes to us this Labor Day weekend via Instapundit’s Facebook friend:

“What is happening now is basically America’s version of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The President of the United States — supported to an exceptional extent by an electorate both uncomprehending and untrusting of the outside world — is Clarence the Angel, and he’s showing us what the world would be like if we’d never been born…”

Although this version of “It’s a Wonderful Life” it is a tragedy and the fallen Angel reveals not Bedford Falls without George, but the world without America.

 

Coming soon to a theatre near you

Wait…didn’t somebody already do that?

Anyway, don’t forget: every time a bell rings,

That’s the wrong bell, bozo.

…an angel gets his wings.

Yeah, sometimes they’re black. Don’t hold that against him.

Calvin tries to imagine Obama’s America:

So far, it’s working.

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