Saturday, April 16, 2011

Deconstructing our First Ladies of Lightness

 

1402397227Our First Ladies of Sweetness and Light, before the Military Family Launch

As you know FLOTUS and SLOTUS launched their plan to support military families last week, and then took to the air to spread the word.

I thought I’d take this opportunity to share a few of the remarks they made as they crisscrossed the country doing good works for the American people in general, and military families in particular.

Dateline, Camp Lejeune, North Carolina

michelle%20one-thumb-500x333-33550The Big White Ladies show up with the laundry

DR. JILL: Hello. I'm Jill Biden, and -- gosh, thanks for inviting us here today. We're so excited. And thank you to Martha Stewart. Gosh, she's done a great job. (Applause.) And thank you to the ladies who are in charge of Operation Shower. They've done a great job. [Gosh.]

LADY M: Wow. So are you all having fun? Is this fun? Have you gotten into the fun part of it?

So how many of you are first-time moms? Oh, so most of you are. That's very -- you know, just thinking back on -- you know, my youngest is nine, will be 10. I enjoyed my pregnancy. I enjoyed every minute of it. And I hope you all are enjoying every minute of it.

Lady M is so empathetic, she can place herself in any situation.

And here she is, trying to relieve the new moms’ anxiety:

And that's one of the things that most Americans don't realize, is that you guys have to do this alone sometimes, and you're doing it not knowing whether your spouse is okay, or will be okay, which adds to the stress. It adds to the pressure.

Note to self: next time, let’s try this with a focus group first.

That's what Joining Forces is all about. It's asking every sector of this society to step up and support you all, because you all are serving in your own way. And the children that will be born will be serving, too. They're serving right now this country…

Screenshot Studio capture #044One of our children, “serving right now this country”

It’s probably just me, butt this sounds - just a teensie tiny bit – like Lady M is talking down to these women. Maybe we could punch it up a bit, perhaps to a 6th grade level, before we go back on the road?

And we did this at the White House. We brought you guys White House onesies and blankets. We took up a drive. We had boxes all over the West Wing and the East Wing. People wrote checks. We brought -- I mean, this was fun.

I’m sure our military moms are glad that Lady M and Dr. Jill had fun while your staffs took up a collection. It shows how much you care.

laundry ladies

So I want to thank you, ladies, for holding it together, because you all look great. You all look pretty doggone good. [ed. and we all know that’s what’s important: looks] And we're just so proud of you all. Proud of you all, proud of you for holding it together while your man is doing something hard. (Laughter.) And there's nothing like having a man that's doing something hard, right, Jill?

(Laughter.) Sheesh. (Laughter and applause.)

Sheesh, indeed! Maybe  we should practice that little routine in front of a “mirror” too. It doesn’t sound quite right.

So with that, we're going to have each of you come up so we can meet you, take a picture, if you'd like. And then we'll do a big group shot. So we'll have a class picture.

Group hug! And photo-op. That’s how you can tell we really, really care.

Dateline, San Antonio, Texas

20110414__MICHELLE14_9568~p1Dr. Jill demonstrates how to wear horizontal stripes correctly

 LADY M: … all of this that you see around is donated by the community -- 100 percent of every salary of every brick of every piece of wood, of every bit of food. This is all done by the community…This family center is an example of how communities step up and support the military families and the troops. And they do it with their own dollars, with their own energy.

What!!? You mean “community” can actually do something on their own? Without Big Guy’s permission? Without the government? Who knew?  Butt “100 percent of every salary of every brick of every piece of wood” – they’re paying the bricks and dead wood now? That does sound more like government. 

And this is the kind of thing that individuals and businesses and nonprofits working together can create. So this is our task. We want to travel the nation, showing and lifting up and shining a light on models like these to give people around the country the inspiration and the ideas they need.

Whoa! We are wading dangerously deep into enemy territory now: “individuals and businesses and nonprofits?” Not the government!? Oh, I get it – because it’s the military, right? Butt wait, isn’t the military the one thing we ALL agree is a function of the federal government? I’m so confused. Maybe if I read the 2700 pages of the ObamaCare bill, I’ll figure it out.

Dateline, Denver, Colorado:

were having funDr. Jill, squeezed in between two icons: this is an “advanced” entry in the “which doesn’t belong and why?” contest

DR JILL: Hi. The kids are probably saying, "Who?" (Laughter.) Anyways -- well, nice to see you. It's nice to be here. I'm Jill Biden.

We’re off to a good start, anyways. And in the interest of keepin’  things realz, Dr. Jill has decided to drop the “Dr.” part of her name for our First-Ladies-in-support-of-military families tour.

LADY M: Great! We are excited to be here. This has been a big day for Jill and myself because yesterday we launched this huge national initiative. We're calling it Joining Forces, as Jill mentioned. We're rallying the country to make sure they're aware of your stories, you guys' stories, because you know you are heroes just like your parents are? Do you realize that? Because you all are sacrificing. Your lives have been turned upside down, but you guys are doing it with grace, and we're so, so very proud of you.

OK, this time she actually is talking to 8 year olds. I know. It’s sometimes hard to tell.

And today we've been all over the country. Just today do you know how many cities we've been to in just one day? We were in North Carolina, then we flew to San Antonio, and now we're here! And tomorrow we're going to Ohio. We're all over the place because we're trying to spread the word.

I think even many 8 year olds know that North Carolina and Ohio aren’t cities.

By the time our multiple-degreed and credentialed First Ladies arrived for their multiple appearances in Columbus, Ohio they were pretty much exhausted.

USO COLUMBUS OH

You can tell from Lady M’s remarks, because she pretty much handed it off to everyone else, instead of talking about what she was doing. Besides, now that the R-Words have swept in to rule the Buckeye state, we’ve pretty much dropped it from our plans to WTF. Here are a few excerpts from her less than 4 minutes of comments at the USO event (2 minutes of which were applause):

Let’s give Jill a round of applause.  (Applause.)…

Yay, Mayor Coleman!  (Applause.)…

So let’s give them a round of applause.  (Applause.)…

Again, let’s give them another big hand.  (Applause.)…

And I think that, again, we have to give you guys another big round of applause.  (Applause.)

We’re going to come down and shake some hands.  (Applause.)

Again, I can see the beneficial effect a few sweet rolls and sugary, caffeinated beverages might have before these events.

seseme

Butt then again, we worked so hard to lose that last 5 pounds… maybe broccoli and wheatgrass would be a better choice.

Linked By: Barbara at Mommy Life,  Thanks!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Et Tu Koopy?

I know we haven’t showcased Lady M here for a couple of days, and I’ll be getting to that in a minute, butt first I have this important news to report: it looks like our new stylist, Meredith, has already flown the coop after just a couple months on the job. I know we’ve had a lot of troop defections lately, butt et tu Koopy? 

Why ever would our stylist leave us? Who or what could possibly be responsible?

I wonder if this had anything to do with it?

Michelle Obama President Michelle Obama Biden yPKDTHOctv0lTailor and Jewelry challenged

Or this?

leaving HIShape and taste challenged

Or maybe it’s because of our ongoing arguments over appropriate foot and leg coverings.

thighspy

Fashion forward footwear choices

tableclothheistbh 

Or possibly these strange dress and shoe matchings that Lady M and Koopy were always arguing over were to blame:

leaving riog-tdy-110209-michelle-930a_grid-10x2

Shoe/frock confusion

Although it might have been as simple as a basic principle with regard to leg covering in general that caused the breakup. As we know, Koopy was definitely in the “keep it under wraps” camp herself:

mededithKoopy on her way to work

While Lady M prefers the more au natural look:

sista silver heelsExhibit A: The reason God invented hosiery

To be honest, while I’ll miss Koopy, Lady M doesn’t really need her. I think she demonstrated over these last few days that she is perfectly capable of dressing herself.

shoulderstrapStraps as art

AP110413063337

incoming

with adornment

 

RTR2L76N

Don’t worry, I’ll be rushing the job posting out this afternoon. Opening: Big White stylist. No experience necessary. Prefer someone who’s been dressing themselves like a grownup for at least 20 years, etc. Tweet me any other qualifications you’d like me to include, or if you’re interested in buying the job volunteering for the assignment.

And by the way, there is NO truth to the rumors that Koopy is going to be Kate Middleton’s new stylist, nor is she returning to Chicago to work on Big Guy’s re-election WTF-STD campaign. From what I hear, she’s just decided to spend more time with her family. You know, sane people?

And just one observation on the Lady M/Dr. Jilly military tour de force. It was a huge hit, everywhere it played.

camp lejeune waiting on the ladiesThe troops at Camp Lejeune await Lady M’s arrival in a state of high alert and anticipation

Butt we are checking into a health scare that broke out at every stop along the way:

Screenshot Studio capture #043Unexplained temporary narcolepsy attacks

Next time we’re going to serve doughnuts and sugary beverages prior to the events.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

R-Words? Just R-Words?

By now you’ve probably all heard about Big Guy’s “Winning the Future” by “Stopping the Deficit” speech that he and TOTUS orated yesterday.

So I’ll just summarized it with a visual of our final version of the new symbol of America’s economic viability. We plan to use it in our 2012 campaign (well under way) and It’s sure to be a collectors item.

STD-WTF CONDOM BUTTON copy

Butt I have a very special treat for you today. TOTUS is in the house!

Because I’m sure you’re sick to death of hearing Big Guy’s campaign speech, I asked TOTUS instead if he would give you a retrospective play-by-play of the Boehner-McConnell-Cantor presser, which was actually far more telling than Big Guy’s 523rd “Blame Bush” speech. If you’ve been wondering what was really going on with all that hemming and hawing yesterday morning, I’ll let TOTUS, who specializes in both ambiguation and disambiguation explain. Welcome,  TOTUS.

TOTUS1

Hello everyone. Before I begin, I would like to thank MOTUS for this unprecedented opportunity to speak, in my own voice, to the American people, as a special guest poster on MOTUS’ blog. MOTUS, where are you? There she is, stand up MOTUS... Oh, sorry, where did that came from? I guess that’s what I get for not defragging regularly.

As most of you know, I used to have my own blog with a lot of loyal followers: 2,082 at last count. I still tweet once in a while, but Big Guy’s demand for my services 24/7, coupled with  the spam attack Rahmbo unleashed on my blog when he found out about it, essentially forced me to give up blogging. My old blog is still out there, if you’re interested in discount Chinese footwear, penis and breast enhancements, or investing in Nigerian bank scams, but I don’t post there anymore.

I’m not complaining, but my job used to to be a lot more fun. I use to spend most of my mornings in the war room with Axe-Man, Rahmbo and Gibbsy, uploading everything to my hard drive that Big Guy would be allowed to think and say for the day . And when that was done, we’d smoke cigars, tell “guy jokes,” play cards and make our picks for the weekend football and b-ball pools.

Butt we’ve got a whole new Krew now that they’ve all jumped off our sinking ship. Now I work with Daley, Plouffy, Carney and, when things involve complicated international issues, that scary Valkyrie troika. Butt hands down,the STD team is the worst. They all have lots of budget ideas, but none of them can do even simple arithmetic without their iPads, and a few have trouble even then.

As you can probably tell by me rambling, I really miss blogging, so you can imagine how excited I was when MOTUS invited me to give you my play-by-play analysis.

So here goes: my translation from Washingtonese to English of Speaker Boehner and company’s comments yesterday prior to Big Guy’s historic “Stop The Deficit that’s all George Bush’s fault” read.

4Here I am, scrolling with big Guy!

Things started out fine, Big Guy summoned  Speaker Boehner, Mitch McConnell and Eric Cantor to a coffee klatch with himself, Harry Reid and Fancy Nancy. We served really tasty premium coffee and cheese Danish and Big Guy agreed to be “open” to “consider” a bunch of stuff that the R-Words promised the voters when they took back the House last year. (heh, heh, heh!)

bo3Big Guy, “Winning The Future”, has them eating out of his hand!

 

Here’s the video of the before-the-show-show, if you want to watch the whole thing to see if Speaker Boehner cries (spoiler alert: he doesn’t).

Here’s where my analysis starts; we begin with Speaker Boehner’s words, followed by my decoding:

bSpeaker of the House, John Boehner:Tears for Fears?

 

“Uh, we had a very, uh, frank and serious discussion at the white house this morning, about the, the debt crisis that faces our nation.”

First impressions: Big John is showing real leadership by using Big Guy’s patented non-fluency, “Uh”. It’s a good brain-to-lips delay strategy and no matter what he says, it will make him sound “Presidential” as long as he doesn’t cry.

“I think all of us understand that, uh, this debt that hangs over our head hurts our economy and hurts our ability, uh, to create jobs in America. In order to, to move forward, I think Paul Ryan has set the bar, uh, in terms of, uh, the kind of targets that we need to meet and the kind of serious effort, uh, that is required to meet the debts that we have.And I’m, let me say that I fully support Paul Ryan’s budget, uh, including his efforts, uh, on Medicare.”

Ok, kudos to Paul Ryan. While your “Ryan’s Roadmap to America’s Future” is, officially our R-word weapon of choice, and we’re locked & loaded, don’t get the cart in front of the horse here. [ed. It seems like he’s saying he’s behind Paul Ryan and his Roadmap 1000%. That’s not usually a good sign.]

“And but I think all of us understand uh, that, uh, not meeting our obligations, our debt obligations, uh, is a very bad idea.”

Whoa, wait a while! Paul, I think you & your Roadmap just went under the bus! And it looks like that “3rd bite of the apple” just tumbled down there with you! You remember the “3rd bite of the apple” deal, right? That’s the vote on raising the debt ceiling so we can borrow the additional $1.6 trillion we still need to fund the budget we just cut by a draconian $38 billion (Our “2nd bite of the apple.” No one’s clear anymore on what the first bite of the apple produced.Although, if I remember my Bible studies correctly, that first bite didn’t auger well for mankind). As you recall, the “3rd bite of the apple” was our last, last chance to get Obamacare repealed, Planned Parenthood & NPR defunded, and deficit spending stopped. Now it’s under the bus with Paul’s Roadmap, and all we’ve got is an apple core.

“And nobody wants to take that risk. But having said that, uh, it is time for us to get serious about the big challenges that face our country.”

Don’t worry, we’ll raise the debt ceiling, but we won’t be happy about it. Good little Speaker, good Speaker!. Big Guy will rub your belly now.

Next up, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell:

mIn the Headlights?

“As all of you already know, the President, uh, owned up to reduction commission chairman and said that the debt crisis is 1 to 2 years away. Uh, many Republicans in the Senate believe that it’s essentially at hand already. And, so, it is time, uh, to act.”

Ok, nice start, you are totally onboard with dealing with our debt crisis. And, uh, you’re sounding “Presidential” too.

“Uh, I thought the meeting was constructive in the sense that I think that everyone at the White House meeting agreed that we need to kind’a put the talking points aside and, uh, deal with what’s, uh, doable, uh, as we approach this debt ceiling vote.”

I know we promised you Tea Party people a lot last year to get your votes. But, you have to understand that now that we’re sort of only partially in charge, things have changed. We’re even getting invited to lunch at Big White with the President! The fact is, all those promises were really just “talking points” for last fall’s election.  If we’re going to be bipartisan - and keep getting invited to lunch - we’re going to have to put our “talking points” aside and focus on what’s doable. And what’s doable is whatever Big Guy says is doable, because we only control one half of one of the branches of government, you know. Democrats seem to understand these things better. They all knew that Big Guy wasn’t going to do most of the things he promised. Why can’t you people calm down and be more bipartisan? More like Democrats?

“I think all the Republicans made it clear and I think the Democrats understand that we don’t believe a lack of revenue is a part of the problem so we will not be discussing raising taxes, in this, uh, particular, uh, connection.”

We know that Big Guy wants some humungous tax increases. He opposed the Bush tax cuts until he transmogrified them into the “Obama tax cuts” at which point he supported them, but now he opposes them again because they’ve morphed back into “unpaid for tax cuts” for the rich. We R-Words are not getting anything out of our “3rd bite of the apple, so we’re not giving you your tax increases when we raise the debt ceiling in a few days. You’ll have to wait for your stinkin’ tax increases until later in “uh, connection with, uh, some, uh, other particular, uh, connection” and we’re going to insist on calling them “tax reforms” and “closing loopholes.” Different altogether. Subtle, but different.

“The, the need to go forward in the Senate I can report to you, uh, as follows. There is bi-partisan opposition in the Senate to raising the debt ceiling unless we do something significant about the debt. And in terms of what is significant, in my view, the definition of significant is, what we do is viewed as credible by the market, by the American people and by foreign countries. No blue smoke and mirrors, no gamesmanship, a serious and credible path forward, not only short term, but long term to reduce spending, is the only thing, in my judgment, will get the votes in the Senate to raise the debt ceiling.”

We won’t settle for anything less than an official Presidential promise to take this debt crisis seriously. And by seriously I mean Goldman Sachs, France and China better believe you mean it. And this time, damn it, we really, really mean it.

And now, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor:

cDo I remind you of Romney? Come on, I’m darned good looking! 

“The only concrete proposal in the President’s plan that he will roll out today, is his plan to raise taxes. And I find that very unacceptable given we are several days out from tax day in this country. We don’t believe that raising taxes is the answer here.”

Big Guy wants to raise your taxes, I think that’s a terrible idea this close to tax payment day when those of you who are still working are reminded of how much we’re already confiscating for redistribution. We won’t even talk about raising “revenues” for at least another month.

“I think the American people understand we have a serious problem in this country. We have a debt that will crush the next generation and the ability for us to see a better future.”

We’re sure you will understand why we will have to let Big Guy raise your taxes. It’s for our children.

“We put on the table, uh, our plan, our vision. We’ll be voting on the floor this week on the Ryan budget plan. And it lays out how we expect to frankly, save the safety net, for those who need it in this country, not for those who don’t. The President has not come forward with any specifics as far as how we’re going to deal with our debt obligation. Uh, I’m looking forward to seeing specifics and to getting serious so we can respond to this debt crisis that we’re facing.”

We’ll be voting and, I believe, passing “Paul Ryan’s Roadmap for America’s Future” budget and sending it to the Senate, where Harry Reid will flush it. We will then get serious and take up Big Guy’s STD budget and CHANGE all his specific tax increases into “tax reforms,” “closing loopholes,” and “disambiguating to make America more competitive.”

And there it is: my disambiguation of the 3 tenors vibrato. I hope this proves helpful in understanding Washington-ese, or at least in managing future expectations.

In case you’re bummed out by all this, I can tell you that Boehner did have one little trick up his sleeve. He brought a box of campaign buttons the R-Words plan to use in the upcoming budget and deficit fights, and the 2012 election.

You’ll be able to tell right away that the R-words intend to fight fire with fire.

GOP-CONDOM copy

Never Fail, Grand Old Protection

Thank you MOTUS for giving me this opportunity to post on your blog, I’ll be happy to come back to disambiguate whenever you want, or need me.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal Thanks!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A Symbol for America’s Economic Viability

It looks like everybody’s creating their own federal budget this year. Paul Ryan come up with the “Roadmap for America’s Future” budget which addresses the deficit by cutting spending. The Congressional Cabal of Progs has come up with what they call the “People’s Budget” (can you say “Proletarian Revolution”?) that proposes eliminating the deficit by raising taxes.

600full-the-proletarian-revolution-and-renegade-kautsky-(little-lenin-library)-coverSome things never change, my friends

And while Big Guy really likes the Prog’s plan, he doesn’t want to be associated with communists so close to an election year so he’ll be presenting his own Solomonesque  budget this afternoon.  It will be a historical proposal that combines cuts (national defense and Medicare) with tax increases – on everything! Wow! When will the magic stop with this guy?

Anyway, since we needed a tag for our very own, “I’m in charge” of this “conversation about the budget” we had our crack acronym team work on it for days, and this is what the came up with: Big Guy’s “Stop the Deficit” budget, which leaves our tactics fairly open ended, thus providing the kind of wiggle room we like to have.  And as fate would have it, this new budget theme works perfectly with the recently reworked official US Government symbol. Have you seen it yet?

newusgovernmentlogo_thumb1OLD Symbol

newusgovernmentlogo_thumb1NEW Symbol

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

THE GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT IT IS CHANGING ITS EMBLEM FROM AN EAGLE TO A CONDOM BECAUSE IT MORE ACCURATELY REFLECTS THE GOVERNMENT’S POLITICAL STANCE.

A CONDOM ALLOWS FOR INFLATION, HALTS PRODUCTION, DESTROYS THE NEXT GENERATION, PROTECTS A BUNCH OF DICKS, AND GIVES YOU A SENSE OF SECURITY WHILE YOU’RE ACTUALLY BEING SCREWED.

H/T Fausta

I wasn’t sure how this CHANGE would go over with Big Guy, butt apparently he’s totally behind the CHANGE and HOPES that everyone else will get onboard too.

Maybe you noticed that he was wearing  both the new SYMBOL and his new budget slogan at yesterday’s MilFam photo op? Here he is enjoying Lady M’s yada-yada-yada remarks:

uplateworkinonmyspeech

Butt if we zoom in you can see how he’s already adopted the new symbol of his administration and adapted it to reflect his new budget theme:

OBAMA STD CONDOM BUTTONI’ve got stuff I can wear on my lapel too, Generalissimo

So there it is:  a symbolic representation of our country’s future economic viability.STD CONDOMI’ve got a bad feeling about this.

WTF CONDOM

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The MOTUS squirt flower makes its debut

As you can see, the MilFam photo op was a pretty bling-less affair.

americasnewidols

So I took the opportunity to do a little test marketing with Lady M on a new product I’m thinking about adding to my boutique. It’s a new squirt flower and it comes in many different colors. You can click on the flower to embiggen. In order to avoid a conflict of interest, I had to reflect the flower out of the optics at the official MilFam photo op, butt here, where I don’t have to worry about conflicts of interest, I can show you what it looked like.

Was3858746A little spring added to our pretty in pink.Click to Embiggen

Lady M loved it, but Dr. Jill passed, even though I offered it to her in green which I think would’ve looked quite complimentary with her red suit. Maybe I’ll save the green one for Lady M’s red suit – the one she wears with her green shoes.

prettyinpeach

Sorry about the wrinkles, I lost focus while refracting the squirt flower out. Eeuuuu! This one isn’t too flattering either. I hope I’m not in trouble.

butt shot

Even Big Guy appears to be a little disappointed with my work today.

snoozeyoulose 

Either that or he’s listening to his iPod. What do you suppose he’s playing?

Supporting Our Military Families: This Time We Really, Really Mean It.

I’ll have to make this short, as we’re busy selecting our outfit for the big announcement of our national military families support effort. Along with Lady M, today’s noon kickoff will include Dr. Jill and the boyz.

Boy, my circuits may need to be cleaned out, because I could have sworn that we’ve kicked this popular initiative off 2 or 3 times before.

pearls and satinDr. Jill and Lady M at last January’s “unprecedented commitment to military families”

Oh that’s right; I guess we called for a do-over after getting the photos back from the last kickoff.

annotated walmart suit

And speaking of do-overs and supporting our military, did you see this?

Nearly a year after President Barack Obama fired Gen. Stanley McChrystal as his top commander in Afghanistan, the White House has asked him to head a new advisory board to support military families.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of Stan’s even though he did let himself get rolled by a third rate rock and roll tabloid, butt this just seems odd. I’m not questioning his qualifications, and I certainly don’t have any executive management experience, butt I’ve heard that it’s never a good idea to hire someone for an important job that you’ve previously fired. As I’m pretty sure the Wons consider this an important job, I can only assume that Big Guy understands human nature better than most senior business executives – which makes sense since he’s POTUS and they’re not. Yet.

obama-fired

alg_birth-certificate_trump

 

Back to the topic at hand, our dress selection today is very important, which is why I need to run along soon. We want to look professional, caring and concerned, while not clashing  in any way with Dr. Jill.

msjpjill4Lady M, Sarah Jessica and Dr. Jill last October

Of course, this important initiative is not about Lady M or Dr. Jill, it’s about supporting our military families. And we all need to chip in to help out because as they wrote in their joint (that means neither of them wrote it) USA Today editorial last September, the government will do what it can for our military families, “But government can only do so much.”

Maybe someone should pass that classified information on to Big Guy before he makes his BIG BUDGET speech tomorrow.

He’s just not sure our deficit would benefit from by-pass surgery at this point, and is inclined to follow his his own advice and recognize that “some times you’re better off not having the, uh, surgery, butt taking the, uh, pain killer.”

I’m not an ER doctor, butt I have learned on TV that one of the first steps in triage requires you to stop the bleeding. And I see from my hard drive that we are currently bleeding around $10.5 billion a day. Whew! I don’t see how a feel-good pain pill will save the patient. Butt then, I guess that’s not the point.

Linked by: Larwyn’s Linx at Doug Ross@Journal  Thanks!

Monday, April 11, 2011

David Plouffe, Ferris Bueller: Separated at Birth?

I do have a test today… It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car.

Ferris Bueller

calspyder-renucci-az-BIG

Daddy’s Ferrari, as Ferris Found it

 

David Plouffe, (pronounced like “fluffy” regardless of what you’ve heard) presidential messenger and boy genius behind Big Guy’s historic election,

Audacity-to-Win-Obamas-Victory-David-Plouffe-unabridged-compact-discs-Penguin-Audio-books

is truly worth his weight in gold. On the Sunday shows he was able to demonstrate how the transformational magic that he invented for Big Guy works by transforming Harry Reid’s “draconion” budget cuts of last month to Friday’s “historic” cuts, thus prompting a historical presidential victory lap:

bounder in chief

All while preserving the country's ability to invest in and "win the future." I’d say “you can’t make this stuff up” butt apparently you can.

Plouffy also said that Big Guy will give another speech this week to lay out plans to reduce the deficit in part by seeking cuts to government programs for seniors and the poor. "You're going to have to look at Medicare and Medicaid and see what kind of savings you can get."  Because as we all know, you don’t get people’s sympathy for your side until you eliminate the police department, and take food out of peoples mouths.

I think what’s really going on here though is Plouffy channeling his inner Ferris Bueller. What do you think? David was 19 when Ferris Bueller hit the big screen: a very impressionable age.

 

FerrisBuellerbueller_l

Ferris Bueller, 1986, above; Plouffy, Sunday, below

plouff3

Here’s the movie plot: Ferris lies to his mom, skips school, gets his best friend to steal his dad’s Ferrari so they could drive into the big City and screw around all day on someone else’s dime. Then they wreck Dad’s beautifully crafted car with the finely tuned engine and, finally, Ferris returns home and pretends nothing happened.

I suppose it could be a coincidence, butt the resemblance is uncanny:

FERRIS PLOUFFE-WM    ferris-buellersdayoff

And the tactics seem somehow familiar too:

ferris-buellers-day-offThe Ferris Bueller skip day playbook

Screenshot Studio capture #040The Ferris Bueller Organizing for America playbook

On the other hand, Plouffy seems to have uncanny abilities in this “transformational” department. Here he is transformed into Sean Hayes’ gay character, Jack McFarland, on Will and Grace:

420x316-alg_david_plouffewill-grace-sean-hayes12

David as a gay character? I don’t know about that, butt he can do a decent transformative impersonation of Big Guy when he puts his mind to it:

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Still, I think Bueller is his best:

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In case you don’t remember Ferris, here’s the entire movie, compressed to just 3 minutes:

It was a great flick, but let’s not forget the way it ended for Daddy’s finely tuned set of wheels:

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A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.”                              Ferris Bueller