RIP You Old Cowboy

RIP old cowboy: Don Imus signed off for good yesterday. Love him or hate him he was pure Americana, a man who pulled himself up by his own bootstraps more than once. He fought and lost many battles with his twin demons vodka and cocaine before finally cleaning up. He was an equal opportunity offender and despite the fact that President Clinton was a regular call-in to his show, he took the opportunity of the 1996 annual White House Correspondence Dinner to make fun of Bubba’s womanizing - before the Monica shoe had ever dropped - and called him “a pot-smoking weasel” among other insults. How can you not love a guy like that?

He’s lucky he wasn’t Arkansided long ago

At its peak his show aired on New York’s WFAN, syndicated by CBS and simulcast on Ms.NBC television. I stumbled across his show one morning while getting ready for work and tuned into his show on the radio every morning there after on my commute to work. It was a vastly entertaining show in those days with his stable of talent including Charles McCord as the quiet sidekick, Rob Barrett and Larry Kenney as writers and impersonators who parodied entertainers and politicians from both sides of the aisle, and his crazy producer Bernard McGuirk. 

All this came screeching to a halt in 2007, the day Imus and McGuirk made fun of the Rutgers (predominantly black) basketball team. Imus, taking the bait from McGuirk, referred to the team members as “nappy-headed hos” and the media-verse went ballistic.

Most people credit the Rev Al Sharpton for getting Imus fired (for which he was rewarded with a Ms.NBC show of his own – some people might call that a bribe, or blackmail – although that seems racist – but most of us see it as a quid pro quo).

Imus on the air with the rev, in the first of many obsequious but futile apologies

In reality it was none other than Presidential candidate Barack Hussein Obama who did him in by calling for his head.

Senator Barack Obama, the Illinois Democrat who is running for president, called on MSNBC and CBS Radio to disassociate themselves from Mr. Imus, and said that he would never go on the show again.

Having already been deigned the Black Jesus by the media that made him, the moguls were already asking “how high” when he told them to jump.  And since the Obama 2007 campaign marked the rebirth of racism in America, Imus’ clearly racist remark could not go unpunished.

The rest is history: Imus was fired first by Ms.NBC, then CBS radio. Although he kept his show on WFAN it was no longer syndicated and therefore unavailable outside New York. RFDTV picked up the show for a brief stint and then Fox Business began to simulcast it. By that time however it stunk; the old team had fallen apart, Kenney was no longer part of the crew and then McCord mysteriously disappeared as well. Imus was no longer funny as he had become consciously and patronizingly politically correct. He had done precisely what he had once counseled people against: “never do it for the money.” Should have taken his own advice.

“If we weren’t so bad, we wouldn’t be so good.”

The show was no longer the least bit entertaining and I, like everyone else, stopped watching. The show slid into oblivion for obvious reasons and Imus finally retired a few years ago suffering with emphysema and prostate cancer. I shall always remember him fondly as the first and last non-PC talking head on Ms.NBC.

For the record, he was replaced by mealy mouthed Morning Joe, who will never utter gems like this: 

“That buck-tooth witch Satan, Hillary Clinton.” […] “I never admitted it when I went down there and got in all that big jam, insulting Bill Clinton and his fat ugly wife, Satan. Did I? Did I ever say I was sorry for that?” - Imus, on the Correspondents’ Dinner

For what it’s worth, I just have a feeling that PDJT enjoyed the Imus show too.

Normal Is Boring

There was a brief discussion yesterday about this paining by John F. Carlson (1874-1945) that pbird posted with the comment “not great, but nice” adding that “oddly, it feels a little off kilter to me.”

Forest Silence

Although I quite like it, it does seem “a bit off kilter.” There is something not quite right and as I am a sometime painter, and ostensibly a left-brained one at that, my brain immediately wants to solve the “problem.” For me painting requires skill, inspiration, intuition and…yes, problem solving. While some true artists can do the latter exclusively with intuition those of us who aren’t that gifted need to do so analytically. 

It would help to see the original painting properly hung on a large, otherwise empty wall. I think it would immediately reveal the source of the problem which is with the sky, specifically the sky at the middle of the composition. Interestingly the problem is likewise more obvious in a much smaller format presentation:

With proper perspective you see that the tree branches at the center of the canvas are too dense, obliterating too much of the sky. 

All tree limb, no sky

Not saying that’s not what it looked like to the naked impressionistic eye but as all artists know, reality sometimes needs a little boost. The eye would land comfortably if the space were either completely obscured, as in Ocean’s Bridge…

or Winter In The Forest.

Or more completely open, as in Forest Quiet

Charles Weed solves a similar problem with dots of light breaking through the dense bramble in Beaches – Winter:

Can you tell what my New Year’s resolution is? It’s to get back into the studio in case that isn’t obvious either.

Anyway somebody commented yesterday that Winter Silence looked like a paint by number, which reminded me of one of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes panels:

And as we all know, normal is boring.

Normal is Boring.

Boxing Day 2019

Obviously I didn’t get that Time Decelerator I had on my Wish List as Christmas is now just another somewhat blurry entry in life’s memory book.

The slo-mo Time Decelerator Helmut

It’s hard to believe it’s Boxing Day already. The day after Christmas holiday was invented by the Victorian Brits and originally was the day the rich let their help off so they could go celebrate with their own families; the masters would present a Christmas box of gifts to their servants to take with them. How quaint.

Boxing day has taken on different meanings in different places since then. None more different than in California where over half of the nation’s homeless now reside.

Actually every day is boxing day in Cali.

The President has called their governor out on it as he was catching up on his tweetstream on Christmas:

Even the San Francisco Chronicle seems to have had it with the problem, coming down rather firmly on the President’s side:

The nation’s homelessness problem has to a disturbing degree become California’s homelessness problem. While the latest counts compiled by the federal government show that America’s homeless population is growing again after more than a decade of declines, the entire national increase and more can be attributed to California alone…

California’s dire statistics underscore the extent to which state and local policies drive an extraordinary and persistent failure to shelter the equivalent of a midsize city. Although the state has the worst housing shortage on the U.S. mainland, resistance to dealing with it remains endemic among the Legislature’s ruling Democrats and in nominally progressive cities such as San Francisco.

It’s amazing how long it takes for reality to hit some people upside the head. And that, my friends, is the real reason we still celebrate boxing day in America.

You’re free to put your money on the greased back metrosexual running Cali these days,

Does Gavin remind anyone else of Mitt?

me: my money will continue to be on the champ.

Have a nice, peaceful boxing day. Savor the taste and memories of the season.

Good Tidings of Great Joy: Christmas 2019

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

from MOTUS and Raj wish all of our wonderful friends who have assembled a very special family here a very, very Merry Christmas.

We send our love to each of you and wish you a blessed Christmas day filled with the merry and the bright - For God has blessed us, everyone.

Christmas Eve Is Upon Us

I see the country is as divided over Hallmark movies as it is over politics. It’s like asking people whether your  eggnog/Tom and Jerry should be dusted with nutmeg or cinnamon.

There’s no right answer to this age old question of course, it’s a matter of choice and depends on what frame of mind you’re in.

Didn’t everyone’s Mom have this Tom and Jerry set?

So having settled that, Happy Christmas Eve to all the little elves out there! I’ll be one myself this year as I’ve been quite under the weather for the past 2 weeks with first bronchitis and now sinusitis. I’ve gotten very little done and now here we are, Christmas is upon us and I’m woefully unprepared for our annual Christmas Eve/Christmas criss-cross of the state to celebrate. So there are fewer treats this year and what gifts there are will are rather uninspired and no doubt badly wrapped.

But as everyone knows, that’s not what Christmas is about anyway.

Of course your Dem and Never-Trumper relatives think that everything, including Christmas, is about President Trump. Remember Newsweek’s top story Christmas week story back in 2017?  How Trump and the Nazis Stole Christmas To Promote White Nationalism. Things have only grown worse since then so let’s hope families either abstain from discussing politics or simply refuse to engage in bait-setting scenarios with warring members of their tribe. A truce for Mom’s sake would be nice.

So forgive me while I embark on a bit of last minute shopping in hopes of doing my bit towards “saving Christmas” while exercising my white privilege.

How dare she!?

I bid you all a Happy Christmas Eve,

and 3rd day of Hanukkah.

Let’s get those presents wrapped, the razzel-berry pudding made

and let the celebration begin.

MOTUS Guide To Watching Hallmark Christmas Movies

I noticed there was a discussion (again) yesterday about the Hallmark Christmas movies (HCM). Somebody mentioned there’s even a HCM Bingo card available; actually this game has been around in various forms

almost as long as there have been Hallmark Christmas movies:

I believe they are made by the same people who are responsible for making the movies in the first place and should not be confused with the official HCM plot generator.

If you were ever in doubt about what “formula fiction” is, this is it. As with best sellers, if demand is high people will continue to pump out formulistic  fiction in the genre for as long as there is an audience.

Now in defense of HCM, they serve a purpose. When you are world weary for any number of world-wearying reasons, they may provide some relief, but it is critical you follow directions carefully and not exceed the recommended dosage. First of all, don’t watch any that have been made after 2014; in general the older the  better as increase demand always produces sloppier product.

Of course watching any of them, even the best, requires a suspension of disbelief – in Santa, love at first sight, a person’s casual willingness to chuck a six figure job in order to follow their bliss, etc., etc.. But the best of these simple movies will take you away from your personal woes and worries for a couple of hours so there’s that.

A few that fit the bill, in no particular order: Northpole (2014), Meet the Santas (2005), Let It Snow (2013)  The Note (2007) as well as both Mrs. Miracle movies (see below).

As with any medicine it is important to pay attention to proper dosage. Overuse may result in the product losing its efficaciousness and may in fact result in having the opposite he desired effect. No more than 1 per day with a maximum of 3 in any given week. With close to 150 HCM in the can there’s bound to be a lot of crap.

For example, I broke my own first rule and watched The Mistletoe Promise (2016) while I was in the throes of bronchitis last week.

Synopsis: 2 people hate Christmas - one hates her ex, the other needs to appear to be an upstanding citizen with prospects for a wife and family in order to make partner in his firm - hook up to pose as a couple for the corporate Christmas party. Naturally they fall in love. The best part? Towards the end, where everything appears to be falling apart before it all comes together the girl (Jaime King) is walking down the street of an unnamed frozen megatropolis where we see snow piled up on the streets and sidewalks. As the camera pulls out for a long shot we see all the trees on the street…fully leafed out. Yikes! Somebody contact the continuity manager!

Apparently this isn’t the only HCM shot during the summer in British Columbia to have this problem: this is from The Mistletoe Inn (2017) maybe it’s just a mistletoe problem:

I guess we’re to believe those are evergreen trees

Added bonus for the Mistletoe Promise: the male lead, Luke MacFarlane, is openly gay so technically this counts as Hallmark’s first gay romance.

My personal favorite HCM is Call Me Mrs. Miracle (2010)

one of several HCM based on  Debbie Macomber Christmas books. I note that the movie was originally titled Miracle in Manhattan  but later changed apparently to confuse people who enjoyed Hallmark’s 2009 offering called simply Mrs. Miracle – which I’ve not seen as it’s never popped up when I was looking for something to watch. It gets high marks from viewers, if that means anything, and both of the movies feature the late, great Doris Roberts as Mrs. Miracle whose presence makes anything worth watching.

So there you have it, my rules and reviews; they aren’t great but sometimes you just need decent. Just be selective and judicious and enjoy yourself a merry little HCM this year.

Official Christmas Nostalgia Day

Does anything scream “Christmas” quite like marshmallows?

Peppermint and cinnamon, so much better than “pumpkin pie spice”

And apparently they needn’t come from bags - you can make them yourself! And if you are truly OCD you can even make them into marshmallow snowflakes.  

What a great gift for all the, um, snowflakes in your life.

You can make them in any flavor of the season: chocolate caramel, peppermint, gingerbread…also better than “pumpkin pie spice.”

as well as any species:

But is there any marshmallow as cute and fun as the snowmen?

Gingerbread Snowflakes’  marshmallow snowmen

When I saw these little guys I recognized them immediately as a modern adaptation of the puffy little Christmas decorations I made one year when I was in high school. I tracked their provenance back to the pages of the December 1960 Better Homes and Gardens and Raj found me an archival magazine website that has every issue, ever published, of dozens of iconic magazines.  And there they were, on page 58, in an article titled:  

In my childhood house the December issues of the “ladies” magazines were never disposed of, they were stashed away after Christmas to emerge again each year as inspiration for the upcoming holiday season. What didn’t get baked or made one year might just make it into the rotation in a subsequent cycle. And so it was in 1966, a sad year for my family as my dad had died late that summer, that I set about to make the marshmallow men that I had first seen when they made their December issue debut 6 years prior.  Gingerbread Snowflakes’ updated version, above, uses colored markers to make eyes, nose and buttons, the original BH&G specs are far less benign. Check out the materials listed for the construction of the original snowmen: 

Glass-head pins!!!! In cute little marshmallow men that look like confections?! Can you imagine what the publication’s lawyers would say about that today? In 1966 however I headed off to the fabric store to procure my glass headed pins and non-digestible green sequins without batting an eye. And what? - resin glue! That sounds awfully toxic. Pretty sure I used Elmer’s because that’s what we had, not because you can eat it.

I remember my creations being adorable, if not quite perfectly constructed. In fact they were probably more than a bit rough around the edges because crafting has never really been my forte. But I remember them making me happy for the first time in what seemed a lifetime. They were a tiny part of learning that life goes on, that pain never goes away but it does gradually abate. Although oblivious to it at the time I was beginning to discover, as Deborah’s Palm has reminded us time and time again, that we choose life and blessings, not the other way around. Choose wisely.

And with that memory I officially launch Christmas Nostalgia Day: haul out your own Christmas Past memory, story, photo, food, gift and share it.

For a jump start here’s a photo forwarded from FullMetalSpanx  (still the best handle on the InnerTubes IMHO, assumed during the dark days of the Obama Occupation when we were forced to endure Lady M’s unfettered butt day after day). Any hoo, here’s our wee Spanx, in the middle, looking a bit skeptical, with her younger sister and brother, circa 1950. Where oh where does the time go?