Saturday, October 1, 2011

Everybody’s pulling their weight around here: Lady M’s in the lead

WELCOME GATEWAY PUNDIT READERS: Lady M @ Walmart pictures are here in this post! Don’t forget to VOTE in Rush’s poll. If you have a minute, please sign my petition calling for Big Guy to resign right away, here! The petition needs to get 5,000 signatures by October 23 to get an official White House response!

Yes, you were informed correctly. Lady M hit 3 DNC fundraisers AND a military families event yesterday! Seriously, does anyone still question how much she sacrifices for her country?

mo rhode island

Sorry there are no pictures from the Maine fundraiser visit, butt none of them made it past our “reviewers” in the new “Department of Common Folk,” funded and staffed by the Committee too Re-elect the Won. They didn’t seem to have a problem with the fact that Lady M was wearing a lobster bib in all of the pictures, butt the problem was it didn’t say RED LOBSTER in large red letters, as suggested by management of the chain, coincidentally, after they signed onto Lady M’s No Child’s Fat Behind anti-flavor and taste campaign for the little people. Lady M said she wanted to wait and make sure they followed through on all of their commitments, and as far as I know, she hasn’t received any royalty checks yet. 

Lady M wowed the crowd in Maine: “She talked about how we don’t leave people behind,” said one of the local youngsters given the morning off to praise hear Lady M, “She was a dynamic speaker. As good as him, if not better.”  In case you’ve been paying attention lately, this isn’t exactly news; nor a particularly high bar.

Lady M also got a new pair of free sneakers from U.S. Rep. Mike Michaud: “Skowhegan-made New Balance sneakers, a nod to Michelle Obama’s fitness and healthy living initiatives.” I sure hope this doesn’t turn into another sneaker controversy. First we had to reprimand Sketchers, then Rebook, I hope New Balance doesn’t jump in the fray now before we get their contract inked.

Anyway, a long way of saying all I’ve got to share with you today is a close up of the new squirty pin and paste on eyebrows Lady M picked up at Tarjay the other day:

mo ri natl guard armory

Meanwhile, because we have to tap into every possible source, Joey B was busy sucking up to part of our base too, telling our Hispanics that they are just like the Irish:

 
Biden on Thursday hosted the annual Hispanic Heritage Month reception at the Naval Observatory. Guests included about 100 Hispanic veterans, active duty service members, elected officials and others. The music was classical Mexican.
"You all were here before us,"

Not to quibble, butt the Irish pretty much entered via the established rules at the time, which is why they got to stay.

Butt when Joey said that “Hispanic” (Mexican) immigrants were here first, I thought he was going to blame them for the bad economy. So I was pretty surprised to hear him blame BIG GUY!! What’s up with that? I wonder if he accidentally got a copy of the DNC memo suggesting that Big Guy dump Joey as VP next time around, in favor of a transgendered Hispanic Jew.

 

Change of Office Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff ceremony at Fort Myer bojo“Don’t worry boss, I can win both the spics and the heebs back for us”

So to keep the week-end streak going, Big Guy went to a fundraiser at a private donor’s home in Georgetown last night to remind people about all the wonderful things he’s already done, and all of the wonderful things still left to CHANGE, with God’s will (a given) and their money (not so much given yet). 

The president left the White House at 7:45 p.m. to attend a dinner-and-photo fundraiser at a private residence. Sixty guests attended the event, according to a DNC official, paying in the price range of $10,000 to $35,800 depending on the level of engagement with the president. The presidential motorcade arrived back at the White House at 8:30 p.m., according to pool reports.

 

Wow! 45 minutes!!! What does that work out to per hour? No WONder Big Guy thinks the rich can afford to pay a little bit more.

Linked By:  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Just Another Day in Our Banana Republic: UPDATED with Rush Limbaugh Mickey Mouse Poll

PLEASE VOTE IN RUSH LIMBAUGH’S IMPORTANT POLL AT THE END OF THIS POST…

It’s not as if we haven’t seen Lady M sport this look before:

         mo baseball capmarthas cap mo

So once again we find ourselves faced with the question, “What would Jackie wear?”

While I can’t answer that question definitively, I believe I can say with certainty, “not this.” Ever.

MO target

Well, perhaps the oversized sunglasses.

jackie Nina Ricci sunsJackie in her favorite Nina Ricci frames

Butt I don’t see her choosing any other part of this ensemble. Especially the baseball hat. A lady of her time, when Jackie chose to cover her head, she favored pill boxes:

jackie5

Or, for really casual outings, perhaps a casually tied silk scarf.

jack and jackie

Which may have served as an inspiration to Lady M’s own silk headscarf look:

article-1328351-0BFE746A000005DC-452_306x459

And while I can’t picture Jackie in that blouse, she might have liked the floral print. After all, she practically put Merimekko, the  Finish fabric design house, on the map when she bought 8 of their dresses during her husband’s campaign in 1960.

jackie floral3Jackie in a then unknown Merimekko sundress, picked up on a Cape Cod shopping trip. And they’re still in business, 50 years later! Now that’s an icon.

Just like Lady M’s magic touch in putting Maria Pinto on the map, before she was forced to file bankruptcy and close up shop.

mo maria

Butt I don’t think Lady M’s floral shirt is an authentic Merimekko, as it only cost $10 according to “leaked” sources. Since the whole point of this “sighting” was to be seen shopping in the downscale emporium - just like one of the peeps who will be handing over “$3 or more” for a lotto ticket to win dinner with the Won. So I’d say J Crew is a good guess.

And because our intent was what I call “Slo-fashion” we left our $1000 Reed Krakoff tote bag at home,

mo reed krakoff tote

in favor of our downscale tote from Banana Republic (possibly an unfortunate branding choice at this stage of our interminable recession). The Banana bag was last seen leaving Rio in March with Lady M, who was apparently under the impression that its orange-yellow shade coordinated with the green-yellow shade of the stripe in the famous beach umbrella dress:

yellow banana republic mrk toteColor’s wrong, but nice keister camouflage. NB: the Jackie style ballet slippers. 

The banana bag does go nicely with the shopping cart though:

MO target

Butt it still doesn’t work very well with the lemon yellow shell; not that it matters that much when doing a little impulse shopping at Target. It’s not like Lady M’s on an official state visit to a foreign country or anything. Plus, it easily accommodates our morning supply of life-saving anti-blood sugar crash meds.

So here’s the narrative: we just ran out to pick up a few necessary household items that staff never remembers to pick up, and wouldn’t you know it: AP photographer Charles Dharapak, just happened to be there too, picking up a few items of his own for his ever expanding portfolio.

I’ve warned Lady M to be very wary around old “Sure-Shot Charlie” though. I have it on good authority that he’s a contributing photographer to this new best selling book:

shop & awe

So if things get ugly, don’t say I didn’t warn you:

mo walmart-1-crop copyLady M inspects the organic veggies that she mandated Walmart sell in all of its food deserts and toddler parks

 

mo of walmart-2 copy“Sodium alert! Step away from those pickles! They’ll cause you to retain water!”

 

mo of walmart-3 copyOn her way to give some food purchase advice to this ‘No Longer a Child’s’ Fat Behind

MICKEY MOUSE POLL

Moments ago, Rush Limbaugh said that he would pay for a poll to find out if Mickey Mouse would beat Obama. Coincidentally, Plouffe-Daddy has just commissioned such a poll. In my official, trusted and valued role as MOTUS, I hereby reflect that poll here for your voting enjoyment. Polls will remain open until 11:59PM (EST) Sunday, October 2, 2011. The results will then be sent to an unnamed, butt highly reliable liberal accounting firm for overnight analysis and “adjustment”. The results will be posted right here Monday morning.Remember, as always, Chicago rules apply, so vote early and vote often!

Linked By: Mommy Life, and American Digest, and Legal Insurrection, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and S. Wolf on Weasel Zippers, and DeniseVB on Newsbird on Cripes Suzette, and Blonde on NewsBusters, Ynaught on TheConnectionLuccianne, and big L on Gateway Pundit, Thanks!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Democracy or Buh-rock-cracy? That is the Question.

I knew that Timmy’s butt-inski remarks about the EU debt weren’t very welcome in Euro-land:Screenshot Studio capture #265

Butt apparently even Big Guy’s lecture to the Euros delivered in Mountain View CA earlier this week went over like a flaming Hindenburg in European capitals, especially Berlin:

US President Obama has given the Europeans a harsh lecture on the dangers of their ongoing debt crisis. Offended by the unsolicited advice, Europeans have suggested the US get its own house in order first. Obama's remarks were "arrogant" and "absurd," German commentators say on Wednesday.

Oh oh! Did Der Spiegel just accuse Big Guy of being arrogant? Dismissive? even derisive?

Where do they come up with that?

On Tuesday, Germanh Finance Minister Wolfgang Schäuble curtly rejected recent American criticism of Europe's approach to solving its debt crisis. "I don't think Europe's problems are America's only problems," said Schäuble, who has become increasingly sharp-tongued as the euro crisis deepens. "It's always easier to give other people advice."

At an event in California on Monday, Obama warned Europeans that their inaction was "scaring the world." (snip)

"Obama's lecture on the euro crisis … is overbearing, arrogant and absurd. … In a nutshell, he is claiming that Europe is to blame for the current financial crisis, which is 'scaring the world.' Excuse me?"

"The American president seems to have forgotten a few details. The most important trigger of the financial and economic crisis was US banks and their insane real-estate dealings. The US is still piling up debt … The American congress is crippled by a battle between the right and the left. The banks are gambling just as recklessly as they did before the crisis. The president's scolding is a pathetic attempt to distract attention from his own failures. How embarrassing." (snip)

"The fact that Barack Obama, who is a brilliant thinker, knows full well that things are much more complicated in reality does not help. Indeed, it does the opposite. In the desperate battle for his re-election he'd rather construct myths, such as claiming that the Europeans alone are responsible for the American mess. Not only is this fundamentally wrong, but -- coming as it does from a friend -- it's downright pitiful and sad."

Two things: one, he’s not your friend, my friend. And two, about that “brilliant thinker” part – have you not been paying attention?

Most of the brilliant thinking in Big Guy’s administration has been coming from his brilliant advisors, most of whom have now moved on to be brilliant elsewhere.

bo's gang…except tiny Tim, who we can’t seem to disengage

Take Former Big White Budget Director Peter Orzag for example: he offers proof of the Obama Administration’s brilliant thinking, i.e., our betters should be given wide berth to rule the world (the rest of us should just grab a mop or get out of the way). In a New Republic piece, "Why we need less democracy,"  he explains: 

Orszag wrote that "the country's political polarization was growing worse -- harming Washington's ability to do the basic, necessary work of governing." His solution? "[W]e need to minimize the harm from legislative inertia by relying more on automatic policies and depoliticized commissions for certain policy decisions. In other words, radical as it sounds, we need to counter the gridlock of our political institutions by making them a bit less democratic."

 peter o's hairpeter orzagbo now what

Peter: the man who does funny things with his “hair” and his mouth. Something he learned from the “boss.”

Pete fails to note that sometimes gridlock is much better than the alternative.

bo stalin hitler

Anyway, Big Guy’s former Car Czar, Steven Rattner shares Pete’s brilliant view of democracy’s limitations:

"Either Congress needs to get its act together or we should explore alternatives. ... If our country wants to do a better job of solving its problems, it needs to find a way to let talented government officials operate more like they do in the private sector."

bo and advisors-rattnerBig Guy with his auto task force members; Rattner’s the nerdy one, top right.You would think they’d all be happier, with their new toys.  

Note: Steve had to resign his Car Czar gig to write a book, and, oh yeah, because of the bribery investigation that he later settled by paying restitution of $10 million in lieu of being tried, convicted and going to jail. You may have missed that story in the MSM.

Butt then, North Carolina (D) Governor Bev Perdue went a step further:

"I think we ought to suspend, perhaps, elections for Congress for two years and just tell them we won't hold it against them, whatever decisions they make, to just let them help this country recover,"

bo and bev bff

BFF’s: Be

v and Bo: and no, she wasn’t kidding 

Butt Lady M has some good, down home advice for everyone in Washington who’s getting all wee weed up about these things: “Just Relax!” Right after you donate $3 (or whatever you can afford) to Chicago Jesus’ campaign for re-election.

Because for the time being we haven’t figured out a really brilliant way to completely circumvent that pesky aspect of democracy. Although we’re working on it, behind the scenes. With our secret weapon.

mo hi resMan up, Buh-rock! You can just issue an Emergency Executive Order, the people can eat their peas and I can get back to the business of being proud of my country.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Hitler Finds Out the CBC’s Gonna’ Leave Their Slippers On

Can you believe it? People are STILL talkin’ about Big Guy’s CBC speech in the G-Block! For anyone new around here, the G-Block’s where Lady M and Big Guy drop all their G’s to let their base know that they’re still just one of the peeps.

mobo cbc dinnerMO and BO and MO’s new jaw at the CBC dinner last Saturday

And if you can’t get down with your peeps at the Congressional Black Caucus dinner, where, I axe, CAN you?

So this is exactly what Big Guy said at the CBC dinner, as reported by AP:

"Take off your bedroom slippers. Put on your marching shoes," he said, his voice rising as applause and cheers mounted. "Shake it off. Stop complainin'. Stop grumblin'. Stop cryin'. We are going to press on. We have work to do."

Versus the Big White version:

Take off your bedroom slippers, put on your marching shoes.  Shake it off.  (Applause.)  Stop complaining, stop grumbling, stop crying.  We are going to press on.  We’ve got work to do, CBC.  (Applause.)

Did you see that? In addition to addin’ the Applauses so you could tell that the crowd was really gettin’ down with him, they put all the g’s back in that Big Guy purposely dropped (if you don’t believe me, watch the damn video yourself). Why did they do that, you ask? Because unlike AP, the Big White transcribers aren’t racists.

At least that’s the way African-American author Karen Hunter sees it. She complained that by transcribin’ Big Guy’s speech “without cleaning it up as other outlets did--specifically including the ‘dropped g's’” was racist. (For the record, she did not accuse Big Guy of being an anti-Semite)

I’m not a linguist or anythin’, butt I could see Karen’s point if Big Guy included his g’s and AP dropped them; butt includin’ the “g’s” that he dropped? I’m missin’ somethin’. Which of course is why Big Guy is the Won, and I’m just a highly reflective mirror.

So I’m just goin’ to present my newest film for your entertainment. It’s called:

“Hitler Finds Out the CBC’s Gonna’ Leave Their Slippers On”

I realize it’s a little derivative, butt in a good way. Feel free to pass it around. Maybe I can enter it in the Sundance festival this year. Or at least use it to get my movie credentials.

 

Linked By: Adrianne’s Corner, and sb on Weasel Zippers, and Blonde on NewsBusters, and Key West Reader on Hot Air. and no-nonsense-nancy on drkatesview, and sowsear1 on NO QUARTER, Thanks!

Tweeted By: Fuzzy Slippers, Thanks!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Don’t Ruffle our Feathers, We’re on a Mission from Gawd!

Lady M almost – almost- nailed it yesterday:

mo stem4

As you can see, a nice clean color scheme, correct skirt length and simple necklace. If Lady M’s blouse hadn’t been so form fitting and waaa-y too tight, we would have had an all around winner.

You may remember this blouse from previous photo ops (when it was also too tight):

Screenshot Studio capture #257 A “Let’s Move” PSA with the NHL:

Lady M has favored lady-like ruffles for quite awhile:

    mosibALMOST WAIST nutritionNBCruffles and bows

           obama_ruffles_thumb[16]MA30341424-0002ruffles

ruffles in london

We’re pulling them out again since it would seem that Big Guy is going to need all the sex appeal we can muster to raise that billion dollars we need for our reelection campaign. It seems that the recession has finally hit home: third quarter fund raising for our “let’s HOPE we can keep CHANGING America” campaign, is expected to come in at $55 million, lagging behind an already anemic second quarter at $86 million. I know that sounds like a lot of money, butt not when your target is at least a billion.

And that report’s not good news because now it looks like we might need even more than the originally projected $1 billion in order to buy the next election. So look for Big Guy and Lady M to be spending more and more time in the begging business.

Take yesterday for example:

bo linkedinBO Linking In with CEO Jeff Weiner (no relation to that other Weiner) as a pretense for his fund raising spree in California

After linking in with some people who have more money than God and just want to spread their wealth around (note: the Treasury accepts contributions 24/7) BO hit the LA/San Jose/ Hollywood circuit to pick up a little more loose change. The appeal to his wealthy admirers seems to be that Republicans want to let them keep more of their money. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, butt you have to remember that we’re talking to mostly white, guilty millionaires and billionaires suffering from Affluenza.

At a rally at House of Blues on Sunset Strip in Los Angeles, the president, trying to fatten his war chest for the 2012 presidential election, pleaded for help in repelling what he described as his opponents’ retrograde approach to solving the nation’s problems.

Republicans want to “cut taxes for folks who don’t need it,” Obama said yesterday in his visit to Los Angeles. “That’s not the vision you believe in, and that’s not the vision I believe in.”

At a second campaign stop at the Fig and Olive restaurant for a group of entertainment execs, (at a much higher per plate charge) Big Guy informed the group that his vision is:

“big, optimistic” and “not a cramped vision that says you’re on your own.”

I’ve no idea what that means, butt he also told these money bags that:

“I’m going to need your help, so don’t get tired on me now.”

Because if they get tired, they might just take off their boots, putt their bedroom slippers on and stop marching. And we can’t complete the Revolution without all of our foot soldiers. Even a second rate community organizer knows that.

bo linked

Jeffrey Katzenberg, chief executive of DreamWorks, introduced Big Guy, and confessed to having a “dependency” on him and told the crowd “so does the nation and the rest of the world.”  Although I believe technically that’s called “co-dependency.”

At the last big co-dependency event at the famous House of Blues in Hollywood, some kook got thrown out for accusing Big Guy of being the anti-Christ. Apparently he didn’t get the memo that Big Guy, like those other guys from Chicago, is on a mission from God.

 

Off topic, butt I can’t believe that legalized marijuana has more signatures on the We the People site than mine does. I guess I’m just not getting my message out. If you’re worried about being tracked (more than you already are) make up a gmail or yahoo mail address and sign up from Starbucks or your favorite local lefty coffee shop. Big Guy’s “free speech” monitors will be stunned to see so many signatures coming from normally friendly IP addresses.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Erecting an Infrastructure: Barry’s Excellent Adventure

Because our Twitter Town Hall was such a success, Big Guy is once again taking his pre-fundraiser show on the road. This week: California, where he’ll conduct a Townie at Linked-in headquarters to "answer questions about job creation and the economy from a live audience made up of LinkedIn members and employees, as well as questions that have been submitted from LinkedIn members across the country."

So that should be good. I just hope there aren’t a lot of those newly unemployed former Solyndra employees in the LinkedIn network.

Naturally, we expect the primary topic of the LinkedIn town hall to be that three letter word: JOBS, JOBS, JOBS. And Big Guy is coming prepared. First, he’s going to wave his JOBS bill at them like he did in the Rose Garden. It’s still not exactly written, which is why nobody has introduced it in Congress yet, butt we do know who’s responsible for coming up with the extra bucks Big Guy intends to spend on infrastructure jobs. That would be the super-committee - since they’re already looking for one and half trillion in savings, what’s another half tril?

bojoBig Guy answers David Letterman’s perennial question: “If this Jobs Bill wasn’t real… could I do this with it?”

Let’s just say it’s a work in progress. Here’s what we know for sure about it: it’s going to raise taxes on everything and anyone who’s not “poor” (defined as anyone who tends to vote in a block for Democrats). And there are plans to create jobs so Big Guy can once again be proud of his country’s infrastructure. As he told us last week:

bo's erector setBO at the Brent-Spence bridge, which he found very inspirational

“Now, we used to have the best infrastructure in the world here in America. We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad, the Interstate Highway System. We built the Hoover Dam. We built the Grand Central Station.

So how can we now sit back and let China build the best railroads?  And let Europe build the best highways?  And have Singapore build a nicer airport?”

So here’s the plan: every unemployed American will be issued a free Erector Set

erector set manual

and a free set of Leggos from the “City” collection

leggos

They will receive an additional 52 weeks of unemployment if they commit to build an infrastructure project of their choice and design. Additionally, if their design is an energy efficient, clean, green and sustainable infrastructure design, they will get yet another 52 weeks of unemployment, and have their income taxes waived for life (note: Until further notice, solar cell plants are off the table and will not qualify for the extra benefits. Butt be sure to check back later, as we’re constantly updating the rules.).

And, to the first person to build the next “Intercontinental Railroad,”  a free lifetime family pass to Euro-Disneyland – which soon you’ll be able to reach by a new Intercontinental Railroad! Thanks to the vision and genius of America’s first Intercontinental President. Who won’t rest until every unemployed American who wants a job, has one. So get to work with your new free stuff!

disneyland_parisEuro Disneyland, Paris

The world’s first true high speed Intercontinental Railway will start in Disneyland, Anaheim California:

highspeed intercontinental train 

and end in Paris at Euro Disneyland:

 euro disney train

The following are just a few suggestions – to get you started - for the types of infrastructure projects that will be approved by Big Guy’s new Department of Infrastructure ‘R Us. For more details please go to www.HelpBarackPassThisBillRightNow.gov.

erectorsfrench erector set

bridges, trains, rocket launchers:

Screenshot Studio capture #256

Give NASA  a new Leggo home!Screenshot Studio capture #255

So get to work: Right Now! If you have other ideas of your own, be sure to submit them to our website, and you could win that lifetime Disney pass! (And don’t forget to tune in at 2:00 pm today for our live, interactive, LinkedIn town hall!)