Saturday, October 20, 2012

These boots are made for walkin’ so when you get to a fork in the road, take it.

So, did you watch the whole show?

Suffice it to say you don’t really need to know:

  • what’s in Lady M’s purse (nothing, that’s what her aides are for: "There's nothing in my purse. I get teased for having a purse with nothing in it. As First Lady — no money, no keys, nothing. I look to 22-year-olds for my life,”.)


alice satchel 3official satchels issued to Lady M’s human satchels

  • Her favorite guilty pleasure (“French fries”, duh! That’s why we got McDonalds to replace your fries with apple slices.)

560_limoges_french_handpainted_french_fries_hamburger_boxSometimes Lady M’s human satchels pack a little snack of French fries in her bag

  • Her favorite reality show  - besides “Life in the Big White with Barry” – (Real Housewives of Washington D.C., of course: "I do love a little ‘Real Housewives’ every now and then.")

real housewife of D.C.Because celebrity is what’s “real” around here

  • Or whether she prefers Big Guy in boxers or briefs (Answer: neither. “Oh. None of the above.[laughter]“No, I’m kidding.” No kidding.)


follow the white rabbittweedle dee and dum

2368-michelle-obama-likes-the-natural-lookBoxers or briefs? Ooooh, that’s a tough one!

  • Or even what super power she would like to have: (: “I would fly.” Another duh! response; of course she would! How else do you get around the world?)

Screenshot Studio capture #739Screenshot Studio capture #740


Let’s face it, we have much bigger fish to fry. Our immediate concern is Winning the Future (WTF®), so we can continue to jet around the world in Air Force Won and Air Force Won Too. And that requires Lady M to be on the campaign trail while BO is holed up at Camp David cramming for how to deal with all those pesky, not optimal, foreign affairs bumps in the road.

To that end (WTF®),  MO was in Wisconsin yesterday wearing her lucky campaign belt from ‘08:

mo lucky belt

her lucky campaign boots:

mo lucky boots

and her lucky campaign butt:

mo lucky butt

She encouraged students to vote early because you just never know what might back up on election day:

"You wake up on Election Day -- you might have a cold, babysitter gets sick, it's raining, the car broke down, I could go on -- toilet overflowing. There are so many ways to mess up a day when you don't have a lot of time,"

bo wash crumbles“Look Hillary, that’s what I’m paying you for. So just tell the Ambassador I’m too busy to deal with his whining about security right now.”



Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and  BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Friday, October 19, 2012

`If you don't know what to uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'

How many times do I have to tell him?

BO should never be allowed to operate without a net, which is to say, without TOTUS. And this endless loop of Big Guy on the Daly Show being played exclusively on Fox is precisely why.

Sure, he was just “mirroring” (Embarrassed smile) Jon’s own words. Butt let me be clear: Jon Stewart said the government’s RESPONSE to Benghazi was “not optimal” (clearly, when your consulate calls for help, and none is dispatched, that would be considered sub-“optimal”) butt what Big Guy “mirrored” back was “if four Americans get KILLED, that’s not optimal.” 

No, that’s not optimal. Butt let me explain: Big Guy is so conditioned to “read” whatever thoughts he has that when TOTUS is unavailable for comment BO tends to “read” off anything else that happens to be nearby: including people’s words, signs, whatever:

                                        barack_obama_its_not_my_fault_coffee_mug-p168867174639719580zv816_400speed bumpbuilddont-build-rock-piles

“I inherited a big mess, we’ll hit a few bumps in the road, you didn’t build that!”

So now that I’ve explained that little mis-misunderstanding, let’s get on to other important news from yesterday: Both Big Guy and Mitt Romney attended the traditional Al Smith Charity Dinner where everyone pokes fun at everybody else - all in good humor - and for a good cause.

bo checking out the cumberbundNice cummerbund Cardinal! Where can I get one?

mitt ann al smith dinnerLady M didn’t attend. You can see how lost BO is without her.

Actually MO was busy recovering (over dinner) from an earlier taping of the Live! With Kelly and Michael show in New York (which airs today, don’t miss it!).

mo live with Kelly and MichaelFormer NFL defensive end Michael Strahan makes Lady M look positively diminutive. And what a pretty little frock!

Additional reasons for Lady M not attending the dinner of rich white guys: the burka she generally wears to meet with members of the Catholic Church hierarchy was at the cleaners.


And beyond all that MO doesn’t really like white-tie affairs,  because they’re emblems of racist White Imperialism. Unless of course they’re inaugurals for Big Guy, in which case they are paeans to the White Man’s Burden, and reason to be proud of your country for the first or second time in your adult life.

Butt Ann was there:

mitt amm mo al smith

And looking quite lovely! Despite being 16 years older than Lady M, a breast cancer survivor and a MS sufferer. Probably because she “actually never worked a day in her life” (h/t: Hillary Rosen) she was somehow able to tape a TV show herself earlier in the day. In the lion’s den of the “ladies” of the View. Talk about a “hostile workplace.”

ann the viewI’ll have some of whatever she’s taking.

And while she looked lovely, as always, I’m sticking with my recommendation of no hair below chin level for ladies of a certain age. Unless you wear it up.

smith mitt bo annWow! I rest my case.

Anyway, I planned to get on with our Alice in Wonderland motif today – continuing  with the Red Queen’s march through the croquet field, mindlessly ordering the decapitation of her royal subjects:

“The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head! Off—'”

However, due to the hateful out pouring of hate from haters everywhere, I think I better bury this story for awhile because it seems to be getting rather ugly:

mo broke rule off with her head

And by “ugly” I mean “ugly:”

`I never heard of "Uglification," Alice ventured to say. `What is it?'

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'

`Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything-- prettier.'

`Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'

mo-red queen-watermark copy

Obamanomics: Uglifying America since 2009. It’s that simple. Not optimal, butt simple.

Linked By: BadBlue, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Alice in Benghazi

Now, I’m not going so far as to say that somebody’s lying around here. You can determine that for yourself:

“You know, Barack doesn’t have a big ego,” First Lady Michelle Obama, said. “That would kind of be the last thing that I would think of when I talk about my husband is big ego, because he doesn’t have that.”

The First Lady added, “You see this in, you know, how he leads the country, I mean, he is very open to other people’s opinions. And he’s always willing to compromise and he’s always, always listening.”

And if you believe that, you’ll probably also believe that Big Guy’s “ego” is really this BIG:

mo nc2…and that these are “toned guns.”

Because you see, even with smoke and *ahem* mirrors, we can’t do this without help. Which is to say, without the State Run Media (SRM).

dandy candy.finger pointingjpg"He did call it an act of terror,"   

Butt gosh, it’s fun being part of this administration: – every day is like being at one of Alice’s Tea Parties in the Rose Garden. Every. Single. Day.

Chapter VIII, The Queen's Croquet-Ground, by Lewis Carroll:

'A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red.'

bo coming up roses“Since our founding, the United States has been a nation that respects all faiths.  We reject all efforts to denigrate the religious beliefs of others.  But there is absolutely no justification to this type of senseless violence.”

Barack Obama, Rose Garden, September 12

Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like that!'

hillary joker“Some have thought to justify this vicious behavior along with the protests that took place at our embassy in Cairo yesterday as a response to inflammatory material posted on the Internet.”

Hillary Rodham Clinton, Secretary of State September 12

`I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged my elbow.'


“Our belief based on the information we had was that it was the video that caused the unrest in Cairo and the video that — and the unrest in Cairo that helped — that precipitated some of the unrest in Benghazi and elsewhere.”

Jay Carney

On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!'


“Our commitment to religious tolerance goes back to the very beginning of our nation. But let me be clear: There is never any justification for violent acts of this kind.”

Hillary Clinton


`YOU'D better not talk!'said Five. `I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'

Bill hil2

Well, we're still doing an investigation, and there are going to be different circumstances in different countries. And so I don’t want to speak to something until we have all the information. What we do know is that the natural protests that arose because of the outrage over the video were used as an excuse by extremists to see if they can also directly harm U.S. interests.”

President Obama at a town hall event broadcast on Univision

`What for?' said the one who had spoken first.


“What this began as was a spontaneous, not a premeditated, response to what happened transpired in Cairo.” “We believe that folks in Benghazi, a small number of people, came to the embassy to — or to the consulate rather — to replicate the sort of challenge that was posed in Cairo. And then, as that unfolded, it seems to have been hijacked, let us say, by some individual clusters of extremists who came with heavier weapons.”

Susan E. Rice, American ambassador to the U.N., on “This Week With George Stephanopoulos”

`That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.

mitt in the rain

“America will not tolerate attacks against our citizens and against our embassies. We’ll defend also our constitutional rights of speech and assembly and religion.

We have confidence in our cause in America. We respect our Constitution. We stand for the principles our Constitution protects. We encourage other nations to understand and respect the principles of our Constitution, because we recognize that these principles are the ultimate source of freedom for individuals around the world.

I also believe the administration was wrong to stand by a statement sympathizing with those who had breached our embassy in Egypt, instead of condemning their actions. It’s never too early for the United States government to condemn attacks on Americans and to defend our values.”

Mitt Romney, September 12

`Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'

romney delights in pointing out another bo lie

“The White House distanced itself last night from the statement, saying it wasn’t cleared by Washington. That reflects the mixed signals they’re sending to the world.

The attacks in Libya and Egypt underscore that the world remains a dangerous place and that American leadership is still sorely needed. In the face of this violence, American cannot shrink from the responsibility to lead. American leadership is necessary to ensure that events in the region don’t spin out of control. We cannot hesitate to use our influence in the region to support those who share our values and our interests.”

Mitt Romney, September 12

Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low. `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are painting those roses?'

kerry ladka

We were sitting around talking about Libya, and we were reading and became aware of reports that the State Department refused extra security for our embassy in Benghazi, Libya, prior to the attacks that killed four Americans. Who was it that denied enhanced security and why?

Kerry Ladka, Town Hall Debate

Five and Seven said nothing,

           susan riceJay carney

but looked at Two.


Two began in a low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;

American Embassy_BenghaziWhile onions and tulip bulbs look remarkably similar to the untrained eye, if you plant the wrong one in the Arab Spring, you’ll likely to be a bit surprised by the fall harvest.

and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces.

clapper praysDirector of National Intelligence James Clapper's office issued an unusual public statement, which described how the picture that intelligence agencies presented to U.S. policymakers had "evolved" into an acknowledgement that the attacks were "deliberate and organized" and "carried out by extremists."

There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.

bo walking rose gardenMy, that’s a nice crease in his trousers!

alice in the rose garden copy

“Have you seen my lovely red roses?”

To be continued…

Linked By: Blonde Gator here and on NewsBusters, and MRM and AnnieLaurie and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and Mireille Buser on facebook, and airgunbuff1 on The Blood Eagle, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Game Show Host Candy was Dandy

Whenever the moderator of the debate is the main story, you know you’ve got a problem.  Or as the Romans used to say “who fact checks the fact checkers?”

I don’t think it an exaggeration to say that by pulling BO’s man-parts out of the fire of Benghazi-gate that  “Candy lied and journalism died.”

candy goldenhairOkay, I’m calling this one for the President. Any objections? Hearing none, let’s continue.

bo mitt contain that smirkI’m sorry Mr. Romney, instant re-plays weren’t in your contract

I know most people believe main stream “journalism” has been been “weekending at Bernie’s” for a long time now butt this flag on the play might have effectively pulled the plug on the life support system, thus putting all of the Obamacare death panel rules into effect for the next debate.

To her credit, Candy did review the call – after the game of course, so as not to upset the play – and decided it was a legal tackle and not unnecessary roughness after all.


Butt the score stands. Because that’s how we do it in professional journalism. So man up, for crying out loud!

bo romney down boyYour chestnuts are safe for now

And speaking of manning up, BO got a pat on the head and extra treats for not debating with his lady parts.

bo mo hugGood boy, Buh-rock, good boy.

Pink was the ladies’ choice last night:

bo mo kissmitt ann real kiss2

Can you spot the real kiss vs. the stage kiss?

Because pink softens you, and makes you seem less threatening, which Ann can be sometimes.

mo6 ann wave

Anyway, calling a clear winner in last night’s throw down has proved more difficult than originally anticipated by the pre-game press releases. It would be easier if the scoring was simply fact based, because here’s the rough score: Big Guy was wrong on natural gas permits, wrong on coal, wrong on the price of gas, wrong on jobs, jobs, jobs!, wrong on GM, wrong on Keystone pipeline, wrong on immigration, wrong on AK-47’s and horribly, willfully wrong on Benghazi-gate.

And Mitt was wrong on agreeing to the terms of Candy’s Corner. So it’s a draw.

Because these “debates” are scored on style not substance, by those rules, lying is never a negative if you are a Democrat, and it serves your purpose. And this is a rule BO’s lived by his entire life so he did have the advantage going in.

So while all the loyal fans stuck with him, the most important demographic last night - undecided independents were not so easily won over.  And while Axe-man and the rest of the gang were delighted that they managed to whip their boy (is that racist?) into shape for the big rumble, the only spectators who counted didn’t seem as amazed by BO’s performance as were his handlers.


And if Frank Luntz is to be believed, Big Guy’s got a little more homework to do between now and Monday since they all thought Romney won. And oh my! Even Ms.NBC’s undecided panel sounds to me like they’re leaning Romney. Although it didn’t sound that way to Chrissy trickle-down-pants. He thought it was a draw; butt then again he was operating under the fog of war; or something.

This is not going to go well for Big Guy if all the “undecideds” decide to believe their own lyin’ eyes instead of the game show host who decided to call the debate for Big Guy.


Uh, they did, Mark.

dandy candyAnd here are the official results! Candy calls it for the Eye-Candy!

Of course, there’s always going to be Monday morning quarterbacks who have the benefit of calling the game after reviewing all the plays:

 “Obama did not forfeit the debate as last time, and took his cue from Joe Biden in interrupting and muttering while Romney spoke, so his energy made it an entertaining night. Nevertheless, the same theme as in Denver emerged — Romney more often providing specific proposals and detailed critiques, and Obama preferring more often emoting and running more on hypotheticals, as if he were not an incumbent with a depressing record that he is obligated to defend.

A key moment was Libya, and that is bad for the Obama cause, even if Romney let Obama slightly off the hook. Obama frowned and got defensive and then blew it by disingenuous explanations — claiming that almost immediately after the attack, he had labeled it an act of terrorism, omitting that on numerous occasions in the next two weeks he most certainly did not say that clearly at all, and declared either that it was the fault of a video or that he did not have enough information.”

Boy, those Republicans are sore losers, aren’t they?

mo poutLady M, appalled by the audacity of the dope – Governor Romney that is.

So, what do you say? Can we agree that from now on we’ll do these “debates” with no moderators, no umpires, no refs?

joey smirksAnd no potted plants?

Because Candy was dandy, butt liquor’s still quicker.

Linked By: NeverSurrender on Tammy Bruce, and Anonymous Coward on Godlike Productions, and chickie on LiberalForum, andBlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!