Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Town Hall: Debate Like Your Man Parts Depend On It

mo vote“I couldn't wait for Election Day!”

Me either!

And neither should you:

Obama and first lady Michelle Obama said Monday they are both voting early, a nod to the campaign’s efforts to encourage supporters to vote absentee by mail or cast their ballot at an early voting location.

Preferably before any more of those pesky debates, and only as a warm up for your second and third on-site voting later on.

Obama’s campaign said it was the first time a presidential nominee and his spouse will not vote in person on Election Day, reflecting their emphasis on early voting in several key battleground states.


Then MO took her new mustard and mayonnaise sweater to Delaware,Ohio to hustle the early votes that Big Guy needs to WTF:

mo in mustard

“He put his faith in the American people. He fought hard to protect jobs for American families. That’s why today the auto industry is back.

Headed back to bankruptcy court that is. Only this time, there’s nothing left for the Union to siphon from the rightful shareholders, which is a good thing because, as a taxpayer, that’s you!

mo your face is going to freeze

“When it comes to understanding the concerns of women, my husband will always have our back. He will always fight that we as women can make our own decisions about our bodies.”

Except, of course, when we decide you’ll be better off “just taking the pain pill” - as a  very empathetic BO told Jane Strum.

“I could go on and on an on [tell me about it!],but here’s what I really want you to know. He knows the American dream because he’s lived it. And he’s fighting every day so everyone in this country can have that same opportunity,”

Except those who have already worked hard to realize the American dream; he wants them to give it back because they can afford a little more to help Big Guy spread the wealth around.

Butt back to current affairs, everyone’s nervous around here about tonight’s big throw-down: Eye-candy meets Mind-candy. Tonight’s “debate” will be refereed by the very competent neither Eye-or-Mind-Candy Crowley.

candy crowley honorary doctorateCandy, giving the commencement address at the Maharishi University of Management; from which she also holds an honorary degree in “chillin’”.

I can tell you however that Lady M completely approved of her as town hall moderator pick, as she’s a big fan of Candy. Not only is she totally onboard with our Let’s Move! and Healthy Eating programs, butt she really walks the talk too, as she is a committed vegetarian. Who ever would've guessed?

Anyway, I understand TOTUS has been busy prepping for the “debate” too. And since he’s sensitive about remaining neutral now days, he prepared several debate pointers for each candidate. Here’s one I saw him loading for Governor Romney:

“Please, Ms. Crowley, don’t interrupt us. This debate is intended to allow people to ask the President and I questions and then hear our answers. You interruptions are making that very difficult.”

That should help get things off on the right foot. Although we can’t be sure Mitt will read it. He’s not quite comfortable with TOTUS being everywhere yet.

And for Big Guy, in addition to all of the regular “stuff” that will be loaded and much more accessible to BO in this format, TOTUS has prepared his scroll to start with this helpful reminder that we just got in from Chicago:  “Don’t debate with your lady parts tonight!”

While debating with his man parts will be his biggest challenge to date, at least we got one problem taken off the table pre-debate: Hillary has taken full-responsibility for the Benghazi fiasco that led to an “unplanned” terrorist attack, regrettable death of our Ambassador and 3 of his aides and an unbelievably amateurish coverup.

Speaking from Lima (no, not Ohio, Peru), Hilz blamed the “fog of war” for it taking 1 month, 4 days and 37 stories to finally pin the tale on the donkey.

hil peru

And no, there’s no truth to the rumor she will be seeking political asylum in Peru. To ensure her safe return, Bill Dawg agreed to do a hostage tape commercial for Big Guy’s reelection campaign. If you didn’t see it you can watch it here. TOTUS did a special, streamlined cut:


Original ad here

So good luck to everyone tonight, and may the best, and real man win! Winking smile

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!