Saturday, March 10, 2012

Love Song of Barack Hussein Obama

Sorry: I was going to report on our new Soylent Pink Slime lunch program today, butt while I was down in the Big White kitchen with Chef Sammy Kass taking a few notes and moving one of the canisters of our secret new food product that had passed it’s “use by” date… well let’s just say I had to spend the rest of day at the nearest Glass Doctor shop getting my lens and frame decontaminated, followed by a fresh coat of glass wax. Not exactly a day at the spa.

So I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to file my investigative report on the Soylent Pink Scandal.

In the meantime, in case you missed either Piers Morgan’s interview with Davis Guggenheim – documentary director of the new Big Guy Documentary – who apparently fell in love while filming (occupational hazard, I guess):

…or the  trailer for his resulting movie which I call “Love Song of Barack Hussein Obama” (with apologies to  T.S. Elliot and J. Alfred Prufrock); please enjoy them both.

 

Let the record reflect for historical purposes that this is a campaign film, paid for by the WTF campaign. Not, repeat NOT, a documentary reflecting actual historical events. Butt then most documentaries these days aren’t.

davis copy

Pied Piper Davis Guggenheim: “Let us go there, you and I”

Friday, March 9, 2012

Weakly Review: Only the Schtrong Survive.

Where to start? The winners dinner with the Wons? Lady M and Hil’s IWD awards? Panetta’s announcement to Congress that we’ll be following the superior constitution of France – or maybe South Africa – from now on? Or an update on the the pipeline to nowhere?

Let’s start there. Yesterday, Big Guy’s Dems – responding to Big Guy’s big stick – deep-sixed the Keystone Pipeline again, making it clear that the Do-Nothing President Congress has chosen our Greenies over, well, our greenies.

moneygreen. religionjpgshrinking%20Dollar%20George%20Washington%20Freaking

Butt it’s not political. It’s ideological. Hard to say which is worse, butt they both result in thousands fewer jobs so I hope it’s worth it.

Next: Leon Panetta informed Congress yesterday that - while they were irrelevant – it would be necessary to get international approval before initiating military action abroad. Apparently that’s their punishment for being a Do-Nothing Congress.

Obamacare-Chartpjm-7-28-10Health Care designed by Congress: Sometimes nothing is better than something

Butt let’s get on to what I know you’re interested in: Lady M and Hil celebrating International Women’s Day.

mo give it up Women Power

They celebrated IWD by presenting some awards to – who else? – international women – of courage.

            mo IWD hil woooo

MO took the opportunity to recognize Big Guy’s secretary, Hillary, for her courage as well:

She is a role model for me in so many ways.  I don't think she realizes how what she has done has made what I am doing partially possible. 

Which was nice of her to say, butt I think Hil knows all to well that what she’s done has made what Lady M’s doing here possible.

Bo Hil 2008 debate2008 Debate

Make no mistake, these are truly courageous women – the ones getting the awards I mean. Take Jineth Bedoya Lima for example:

jineth bedoya lima columbiaOne really brave woman between two really schtrong women

In Lady M’s own words:

And then there is Jineth Bedoya Lima, an investigative journalist in Colombia.  Back in 2000, when she was writing about an arms struggling [sic] network, she was kidnapped, brutally assaulted for hours by those who wished to silence her. But instead of backing down, she moved from her regional newspaper to a national one, and despite continued threats against her life, she kept reporting.

Let the record reflect that Lady M and TOTUS TOO meant “smuggling” not “schtruggling” butt either way it makes Lady M’s own schtruggles with fat kids behinds pale in comparison. BTW, Jineth sounds like she could be a schtrong Conservative woman if she lived here.

mo hil and ladies of the hoodMany of the courageous women award winners are from countries ruled by tyrannical regimes. I HOPE they aren’t the same countries Secretary Panetta will seek approval from.

Surprisingly, no award was given to the bravest, most courageous woman of all:

fluke buttons it upReproductive rights activist, Sandra Fluke, buttons up for a courageous round of “testimony.” At least I think she’s buttoning up.

And finally: a report on the 3 lucky grass root supporters and their guests who won a dinner with the Wons!

woohoo winners bo mo

The winners, above, are ReGina Newkirk, a nonprofit executive from Nashville, and her father, Robert Newkirk Sr., a professor at Tennessee State University; Cathleen Loringer, a former social worker from Wauwatosa, Wis., and her spouse, John Loringer, a Wauwatosa attorney; and Judy Glassman, a retired school administrator from Cambridge, Mass., and her husband Mitch Glassman, a Cambridge artist. Could you find a better group of Big Guy supporters?

Wow! What are the odds that out of dozens of entries you end up with 3 winners from three swing states!? And all 3 of them the kind of women (1 black, 2 white) we’re currently focusing on to help us WTF: a non-profit exec, a former social worker and an ex- school administrator? Wow!

Boundary Road  with bo mo

As it turns out, the odds, all by themselves, aren’t that good. That’s why we helped out a little:

Entrants did not need to contribute to the campaign, according to the official rules. Fifty potential winners were selected at random, then narrowed down to three winners by the campaign, based on its own criteria to offer “an appropriate range of views, backgrounds and interests.” In addition to dinner with the Obamas, the winners had their transportation and hotel expenses covered by the campaign.

We took the winners to Boundary Road, a new, not so pricy (by D.C. standards) restaurant that includes locally sourced ingredients, of course, and seasonal dishes such as paprika-dusted flounder over Spanish fisherman’s stew and hanger steak.

As was the case with the two previous “win dinner with the Won” fund raising lotteries, reporters were ushered out after the iced tea pre-prandial chatter and photo ops. After that the Stoli and wine flowed and a good time was had by all.

 

       obama dinner winners janoct bo-dinner-Obama

Previous “Dinners with the Won” winners, above. They all look pretty much alike.

 

bo mo and a diverse group of winners what luck

Just like with crony capitalism, when you hand select the winners you always get the same results.

chapter-11-sign

 

Regarding last night’s meal, I’m not sure what they had to eat, I’m just glad it wasn’t one of our Federally mandated school lunches:

CAUTION2 copy

The rest of this expose will be leaked out this weekend. I think Breitbart would have liked that.

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Thursday, March 8, 2012

It’s only 24 hours, but happy International Women’s Day

Today is International Women’s Day (IWD)! That would be great news except I remember back in the day when women got a whole year, not just one stinkin’ day. It sure looks like women have slid backwards under Big Guy’s administration. Or - more likely - that happened under Bush’s watch.

You remember the Year of the Woman don’t you?

Yearofthewoman Murry, MoseleyBraun Mikulski Feinsteint BoxerClass of ‘92: Patty Murray, Carol Moseley-Braun, Barbara Mikulski, Diane Feinstein, Barbara (you can call me Senator) Boxer

The year was 1992, the year America elected a record 5 women to the U.S. Senate (as well as Bubba, hero of the soccer moms, who went on to make women, uh… a centerpiece of his administration). Note that all members of this sorority are still servin’ the American people in the Senate, 20 years later, with the exception of Carol Moseley-Braun who was expelled  by her constituents due to allegations of corruption which were, of course, racist.

For the record, it was a good career move for the rest of them. The Year of the Woman really paid off for this little coven sorority: all butt the little fireplug, (is that sexist? I’m sorry.) Barbara Mikulski, are now members of the “I became a millionaire while serving the American people in the Senate” club.

In retrospect, it might have been more correct to have called ‘92 the “Year of the Liberal Women” a distinction with more than just a little distinction. Note that even 20 years hence, Conservative Women have yet to have earned their year; in fact the MSM continues to wonder if any of them are even qualified to hold office:

s-SARAH-PALIN-large michele-bachmann-new-fullwell-cropped-proto-custom_2nikki halley

The great feminist luminary, “Hurricane” Katrina vanden Heuvel, suggests that maybe 2012 could be another year of the (liberal) woman, citing the Susan G. Komen Charity caving to feminist pressure and reversing their decision to defund Planned Parenthood and the huge victory for free contraceptives:

The Komen turnaround and the White House’s “miraculous” accommodation on contraception both had the feel of movement victories for women—proof that the Republicans’ War on Women has sparked a potent outrage with political muscle.

On the heels of the Komen win, President Obama announced that insurance companies would have to pay for contraception coverage when a religious employer objects to providing it.

Just an editorial aside - butt if Charities can’t decide to defund organizations, what HOPE does Congress have?

Winning!! S.ocial L.eftist U.nAmerican T.arts

Rosie_Riveter_Sandra_Rivete-570x532  Peoples Cube via iOTW

Moe Lane, who would definitely be identified as an enemy combatant in the Republican War on Women, took the occasion of  IWD to turn himself in to #attackwatch for questioning the wording on this campaign jewel:

2012  WTF MO

WTF? “Are You In?” Are you kidding me? Can we stop spending so much time on Big Guy’s reelection documentary and get some new caption writers onboard, like pronto? Before all the wingnuts have their way with it.

Anyway, I’m not sure how Big Guy plans on celebrating International Women’s Day, butt I’m sure it will be special.

crumudgeolydreemzefrom Curmudgeonly and Skeptical via h/t Vanderleun

 

So, I know you’re wondering about today’s Google Doodle tribute to International Woman’s Day, aren’t you?

IWD Doodle

 

Me too. Here’s Melanie Jone’s interpretation: International Women’s Day 2012 Google Doodle: 5 Things To Know About Google Tribute. She writes for the INTERNATIONAL Business Times, so you know she’s an International woman.

If you understand it, would you tweet me?

BTW: here’s another International “Woman” we should celebrate today. Just because Evie, Big Guy’s Tranny Nanny is really a man shouldn’t prevent him/her from being honored today.

evie bo's tranny nannyEvie, left, in happier times

Evie now lives in the slums of Jakarta as a man because Indonesia doesn’t even celebrate International Woman’s Day, let alone International Gay/Lesbian/Bi-Sexual/Transgender Day.

 baraka's nanny Evie jakarta Maybe Big Guy could grant Evie sexual identity asylum in honor of IWD and she could move in with another victim of discrimination: Auntie Zeituni

h/t Clarice

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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Stop Acting Stupidly. They bring a knife, you bring a gun.

First presser in five months yesterday.

bo what's up with that

Big Guy maneuvered skillfully around a bunch of questions on controversial subjects: Iran, Israel, Syria, Rush Limbaugh…Rush Limbaugh!?!

Well technically the question involved Rush’s sponsors bailing, and whether liberal commentators should be held to the same standard. Although this is hardly an issue that ought to be raised to the Presidential level; that didn’t stop Big Guy from responding gamely. He sidestepped the sponsor issue, ignored the part about liberal double standards,

Maher-palin-liberal-hypocrisy

butt took the opportunity to elaborate on his phone call to Ms. Fluke, which everyone was really interested in.

And the reason I called Ms. Fluke is because I thought about Malia and Sasha… I want them to be able to speak their mind in a civil and thoughtful way.  And I don't want them attacked or called horrible names because they're being good citizens.  And I wanted Sandra to know that I thought her parents should be proud of her, and that we want to send a message to all our young people that being part of a democracy involves argument and disagreements and debate, [ed. As long as you’re on the right side of the debate, of course] and we want you to be engaged, and there's a way to do it that doesn't involve you being demeaned and insulted, [ed. Here’s a learning moment: if you say stupid things, it’s easier for people to demean and insult you.] particularly when you’re a private citizen.

Or as Allahpundit summarized it: I don’t like to see private citizens insulted for speaking up.

That’s good. I wonder if that theory holds for police officers too? Like, for what they do in the line of duty? When they aren’t acting stupidly, I mean?

Beer%20summit%20oneHey! How about a beer summit with Big Guy, Joey, Sandra and Rushbo?  Or maybe a shooters summit. And Rush could send her some Pro-flowers.

Anyway, here are some things that, strangely, nobody asked about at yesterday’s presser, probably because we ran out of time: the deficit, Solyndra, et.al., squandering federal dollars, Fast and Furious, the “shameful” and “outrageous” bonuses being paid to bankrupt Big Green Energy company executives.

Meanwhile, back on the WTF 2012 front, I know the R-words were busy with their respective Super-Tuesday victory parties last night. I’m not even going to get into that. Oh sure, I have my favorite, butt I think I could work with any of them:

    222249-callista-gingrichann-romney-2-sizedkaren santorum4

Calista, Ann, Karen: finalists in the FLOTUS challenge round

And while only one of them seems to know how to smile naturally, I can deal with that. However, I think they could all use a little work on the hair. Calista needs to lighten up a bit on the lacquer: she has fewer hairs out of place than Mitt. Even he finally got the “perfect to a fault” point.

         POTD 

All of Georgia's remaining employed journalists packed Gov. Nathan Deal's office today to document a riveting moment in our state's — nay, our very civilization's — history. After days of speculation, Newt Gingrich announced that he was... "exploring" the possibility of running for president in 2012. No exploratory committee, mind you. To help him in on his psychedelic odyssey the former U.S. Speaker's launched a website — replete with the same stock image background used by the late Sen. Ted Kennedy. (Kind of cute little tidbit there, courtesy of @collinsb.) Joining Gingrich and his wife Callista in Deal's office — where he supposedly jawboned about states' rights — were Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle and House Speaker David Ralston. callista-gingrichs-hair-facebook 222252-callista-gingrich

Although if the Newt loses, I think I can get Cali a lucrative Nike endorsement.

83767-bigthumbnail

Ann – and this is ironic, Mitt being so well coifed and all – has a few too many hairs out of place. She could use a little help in the hair department too. Starting with  a good trim. My goodness, how many times do I have to tell these 60-something women? I don’t care how good you look otherwise, below chin length hair is no longer your friend.

Romney_2012_0c3d5

Just trust me on this,okay?

         hil lookin goodjills beaded collar

Karen might be the most challenging of all, even though she’s the youngest by far. She seems to have that angry-mouth-at-rest thing going on, butt I’ve got a lot of experience dealing with that issue, so I’m sure I can handle it.

2164-michelle_obama

Especially since Karen doesn’t seem to have the angry eyes to go along with the mouth. Butt it does look like she could use a little trim and hairspray too.

karen-santorum-2012-is-a-battlefield-for-defending-gods-truth

Anyway, like I said, I could work with any of them…should it come to that. Which of course I don’t, officially, expect it will.

Oh and by the way, speaking of women,  I’m not sure if you are aware of this: Did you know there is a war on women? Yes! And apparently it’s the R-words who have declared it, not Big Guy. Although the Dems are capitalizing (literally) on this grave injustice and have even launched another twitter hashtag where you can report additional GOP attacks on women. 

You really have to admire Big Guy’s little people for knowing how to organize (and raise money) around their own manufactured outrage. In fact the Rush-rage seems to be so manufactured that even Bill Maher – big time Big Guy fan and contributor – felt compelled to weigh in:

Screenshot Studio capture #417

And according to that *other Michelle* the real war is on conservative women. That won’t really change anything in the Liberal Outrage Machine though, because they don’t need facts on their side in order to make hay. They just work with whatever they’re handed:

Screenshot Studio capture #418

The R-words should probably pay a whole lot closer attention to how this works: you know, the old “they bring a knife, you bring a gun” approach.  So start thinking like a community organizer if you want to win and grab a gun.Just make sure it’s loaded, otherwise you’ll get killed.

That’s what Breitbart would have done.

rules of engagement

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Nuclear Iran? You Bet Your Life.

If it’s Monday, we must be getting back to sacrificin’ for the American people.

So here we are in Kansas City and St. Louis yesterday hugging and mugging with veterans, National Guard members and their families. Lady M thanked them for their service, gave a fist bump or two and told the kids to eat their vegetables so they won’t grow fat behinds.

mo st. louis arrival Mo St. Louis3

And since we were in town anyway, we decided to drop in on a couple of fundraisers and collect a few shekels for WTF 2012. The KC DNC lunch was held downtown in the foyer between the American Jazz Museum and the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum. (Sorry, per standing orders, full photo embargo at fundraisers is in force, butt I can report a nice luncheon was served.)

About 10 minutes into Lady M’s speech, for some reason, the burglar alarm went off. Mo handled it like the pro she is, keeping the crowd in the half-filled hall calm and telling them:

“This is the truth talking. You’ve got alarms going off. You know I’m speaking the truth.” 

The crowd got a real kick out of that. I’ve heard of speaking truth to power, butt I thought when bells start going off it’s usually because you aren’t telling the truth. Am I wrong?

Joe Wilson and the lie heard 'round the world

I’d report more on the speech, butt seriously, you’ve heard it so many times by now, you could probably give by heart. Butt TOTUS TOO was there for moral support anyway.

During her 30-minute address, the first lady praised President Barack Obama for, among other things, the auto company bailout, health care reform, education improvements, equal pay for women, the killing of Osama bin Laden and the economic rescue.

 
“Your president has worked very hard to dig us out of this mess,” she told the audience.

bo golf on the islandBig Guy, digging America out of the mess Bush got us into one divot at a time

Then we were on to St. Louis (wearing our ‘St. Louis blues’ – is that a politically savvy sartorial statement or what?) where Lady M and TOTUS TOO gave essentially the same speech to essentially the same crowd.

moSt Louis Blues, head to toe

Meanwhile, back in Washington Big Guy met with Bibi yesterday morning to discuss the terms of Israel’s annihilation.

bo bibi

BO told the Prime Minister that he’s got his back: “Our commitment to the security of Israel is rock solid. The U.S. will have Israel's back when it comes to Israeli security." And we all know what that means.

got-your-back

Later that evening Bibi addressed AIPAC, telling them:

“If it looks like a duck, if it walks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck … it’s a duck,”

barack-obama-2012-3-4-15-0-50

He was talking about nuclear Iran, of course.

…But this duck is a nuclear duck, and it’s about time the world started calling a duck a duck.

I want to explain why Iran must never be allowed to develop nuclear weapons.

The Jewish state will not allow those seeking our destruction to possess the means to achieve that goal. A nuclear armed Iran must be stopped. Amazingly, some people refuse to acknowledge that Iran’s goal is to develop nuclear weapons. You see, Iran claims that it’s enriching uranium to develop medical research. Yeah, right. A country that builds underground nuclear facilities, develops intercontinental ballistic missiles, manufactures thousands of centrifuges, and absorbs crippling sanctions – is doing all that in order to advance…medical research.

Quack.

Responsible leaders should not bet the security of their countries on the belief that the world’s most dangerous regime won’t use the world’s most dangerous weapons.

bo extreme marshmallow cannonOh, we’re not. We’re testing a new anti-nuclear marshmallow missile launcher.

Wow! When Bibi wants to make things perfectly clear, well, he actually does:

From the beginning, the Ayatollah regime has broken every international rule and flouted every norm. It has seized embassies, targeted diplomats and sent its own children through mine fields. It hangs gays and stones women. It supports Assad’s brutal slaughter of the Syrian people. Iran is the world’s foremost sponsor of terror. It sponsors Hezbollah in Lebanon, Hamas in Gaza and terrorists throughout the Middle East, Africa, and South America. Iran’s proxies have dispatched hundreds of suicide bombers, planted thousands of roadside bombs, and fired over twenty thousand missiles at civilians.

Quack, quack.

YouBetYourLifeDuck

Iran accuses the American government of orchestrating 9/11, and it denies the Holocaust. Iran brazenly calls for Israel’s destruction, and they work for its destruction – each day, every day.

This is how Iran behaves today, without nuclear weapons. Think of how they will behave tomorrow, with nuclear weapons.

Quack, quack, quack!

duckThat’s a duck, and you can bet your life on it

Don’t worry, Big Guy will get around to this international crisis as soon as he makes sure that Sandra Fluke’s self-esteem is restored, Rush Limbaugh has been silenced once and for all and America is again safe from the tyranny of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

Till then…

“As prime minister of Israel, I will never let my people live in the shadow of annihilation,”

Sheeze, some world leaders are just so myopic.

MIDEAST-ISRAEL-LIKUD

While others seem to have their finger on the pulse of the entire world.

bo-finger

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