Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Nuclear Iran? You Bet Your Life.

If it’s Monday, we must be getting back to sacrificin’ for the American people.

So here we are in Kansas City and St. Louis yesterday hugging and mugging with veterans, National Guard members and their families. Lady M thanked them for their service, gave a fist bump or two and told the kids to eat their vegetables so they won’t grow fat behinds.

mo st. louis arrival Mo St. Louis3

And since we were in town anyway, we decided to drop in on a couple of fundraisers and collect a few shekels for WTF 2012. The KC DNC lunch was held downtown in the foyer between the American Jazz Museum and the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum. (Sorry, per standing orders, full photo embargo at fundraisers is in force, butt I can report a nice luncheon was served.)

About 10 minutes into Lady M’s speech, for some reason, the burglar alarm went off. Mo handled it like the pro she is, keeping the crowd in the half-filled hall calm and telling them:

“This is the truth talking. You’ve got alarms going off. You know I’m speaking the truth.” 

The crowd got a real kick out of that. I’ve heard of speaking truth to power, butt I thought when bells start going off it’s usually because you aren’t telling the truth. Am I wrong?

Joe Wilson and the lie heard 'round the world

I’d report more on the speech, butt seriously, you’ve heard it so many times by now, you could probably give by heart. Butt TOTUS TOO was there for moral support anyway.

During her 30-minute address, the first lady praised President Barack Obama for, among other things, the auto company bailout, health care reform, education improvements, equal pay for women, the killing of Osama bin Laden and the economic rescue.

“Your president has worked very hard to dig us out of this mess,” she told the audience.

bo golf on the islandBig Guy, digging America out of the mess Bush got us into one divot at a time

Then we were on to St. Louis (wearing our ‘St. Louis blues’ – is that a politically savvy sartorial statement or what?) where Lady M and TOTUS TOO gave essentially the same speech to essentially the same crowd.

moSt Louis Blues, head to toe

Meanwhile, back in Washington Big Guy met with Bibi yesterday morning to discuss the terms of Israel’s annihilation.

bo bibi

BO told the Prime Minister that he’s got his back: “Our commitment to the security of Israel is rock solid. The U.S. will have Israel's back when it comes to Israeli security." And we all know what that means.


Later that evening Bibi addressed AIPAC, telling them:

“If it looks like a duck, if it walks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck … it’s a duck,”


He was talking about nuclear Iran, of course.

…But this duck is a nuclear duck, and it’s about time the world started calling a duck a duck.

I want to explain why Iran must never be allowed to develop nuclear weapons.

The Jewish state will not allow those seeking our destruction to possess the means to achieve that goal. A nuclear armed Iran must be stopped. Amazingly, some people refuse to acknowledge that Iran’s goal is to develop nuclear weapons. You see, Iran claims that it’s enriching uranium to develop medical research. Yeah, right. A country that builds underground nuclear facilities, develops intercontinental ballistic missiles, manufactures thousands of centrifuges, and absorbs crippling sanctions – is doing all that in order to advance…medical research.


Responsible leaders should not bet the security of their countries on the belief that the world’s most dangerous regime won’t use the world’s most dangerous weapons.

bo extreme marshmallow cannonOh, we’re not. We’re testing a new anti-nuclear marshmallow missile launcher.

Wow! When Bibi wants to make things perfectly clear, well, he actually does:

From the beginning, the Ayatollah regime has broken every international rule and flouted every norm. It has seized embassies, targeted diplomats and sent its own children through mine fields. It hangs gays and stones women. It supports Assad’s brutal slaughter of the Syrian people. Iran is the world’s foremost sponsor of terror. It sponsors Hezbollah in Lebanon, Hamas in Gaza and terrorists throughout the Middle East, Africa, and South America. Iran’s proxies have dispatched hundreds of suicide bombers, planted thousands of roadside bombs, and fired over twenty thousand missiles at civilians.

Quack, quack.


Iran accuses the American government of orchestrating 9/11, and it denies the Holocaust. Iran brazenly calls for Israel’s destruction, and they work for its destruction – each day, every day.

This is how Iran behaves today, without nuclear weapons. Think of how they will behave tomorrow, with nuclear weapons.

Quack, quack, quack!

duckThat’s a duck, and you can bet your life on it

Don’t worry, Big Guy will get around to this international crisis as soon as he makes sure that Sandra Fluke’s self-esteem is restored, Rush Limbaugh has been silenced once and for all and America is again safe from the tyranny of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

Till then…

“As prime minister of Israel, I will never let my people live in the shadow of annihilation,”

Sheeze, some world leaders are just so myopic.


While others seem to have their finger on the pulse of the entire world.


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