Saturday, October 12, 2013

Shutdown Day 12: Dog Day Afternoon

After much federally funded research, we have a newsflash: dog’s are people too! They experience emotions just like little people do.

“The ability to experience positive emotions, like love and attachment, would mean that dogs have a level of sentience comparable to that of a human child.”


arnie-the-great-pyrenees_64928_2012-03-13_w450Happy doggie

Wow! I’m not sure that grant money was well spent. After all, any one who’s ever had a dog, or even been around a dog, could have told you that.

dog%20emotionsSad doggie

Butt the real question - and one that is worthy of federal funding - is whether politicians experience the same level of emotions that dogs do.

sad-dog-emotionsDoggies are at least smart enough to be embarrassed when they makes a mess

And frankly, after the events of the past 2 weeks, I’m inclined to conclude they don’t.

For example, what human, or dog, with an ounce of decency, would have Barrycaded WWII Vets out of their open air memorial?

honorairflight009Honor Flight 009 with service doggie

Or close the National Zoo: (h/t Gerard)

zoo closure“Go home little boy, and take your sad little doggie with you!”



And what dog would ever remove the handles from drinking fountains along jogging and biking trails; don’t they know how dangerous dehydration can be? For goodness sake, that’s why we leave water in the desert for our illegal aliens.

drinking_fountainAt least they didn’t poison the water (h/t Moonbattery)

Nor do I know a single dog that would barricade federal parking lots to prevent people from visiting private parks like Mt. Vernon, or viewing national monuments like Mount Rushmore. And that goes double for blocking access to (private) motels and ordering people out of their (private) homes that now happen to sit on federal land because the government confiscated their homes when they decided to create a new national park. (Butt, generously, they were allowed to remain in their home for 40 years or until they die, whichever comes first.)

And don’t even get me started on the lack of human empathy involved in decisions impacting our military families in the wake of the Tea Party Anarchists’ (TPA) government shutdown. What dogs decided to close the military commissaries? I sure hope Lady M doesn’t find out about it because as you well know, she has a “passion” to “make it right for” military families!


“First Lady Michelle Obama, in launching "Joining Forces" on Tuesday, is using her considerable bully pulpit to do for the cause of helping military families what she has done with her "Let's Move" anti-childhood obesity drive: shine a light on a national problem and seek public-private partner ships (sic) to find solutions.”

Not sure what the status of those “partner” ships are during the shutdown, butt it doesn’t look too good, based on what I read.

Sinking-Navy-Ship2Mayday! Mayday! Our “partner” ship is going down.

4307c2410d2de1df_Joining_Forces_preview Lady M and Dr. Jilly, joining forces, to provide lip support for military families.

"We have to rally around for these families. We have to be that safety net for them because, they're leaving to serve us. They're fighting for the rights and freedoms of all of us. And that's what's moved me about this effort."

So that’s how I just knew that it wasn’t true that the Pentagon had denied DEATH BENEFITS to families of fallen troops! NO WAY! MO wouldn’t hear of it!

"The [Defense Department] does not currently have the authority to pay death gratuities for the survivors of service members killed in action," the release said, adding: “Secretary [of Defense Chuck] Hagel assured the service leaders that he would work closely with them to address these challenges, and support the service members and families impacted by these disruptions."

What! What sort of a heartless cretin would deny authority to pay death “gratuities” !! It had to be one of those TPA’s, right?

Oh oh. I guess it might have been Eric Holder’s Justice Department - the same agency that decided to shut down their Amber Alert system; another decision that seems at best tone deaf, and at worst a bit bereft of normal human emotion.

RCA Nipper dogEric was just listening to his master’s voice

“But after reviewing the law, the Defense Department concluded that it cannot send payments to affected families because the law did not specifically grant them the authority to pay anyone other than the service members themselves. That legal determination, one official said, was ultimately made by inter-agency legal counsel – meaning Department of Defense, Department of Justice and White House lawyers.”

I don’t understand it - our team is the one known for their bleeding hearts! Why, all of them would be glad to give you the shirt off someone else’s back:

“Of course, I want people to have health care,” Vinson said. “I just didn’t realize I would be the one who was going to pay for it personally.”

bleeding heart wingnut

Maybe the whole team has been taken over by the wingnut zombies. If that’s not it, all I can conclude is that the extreme stress of the shutdown is responsible for people’s petty, spiteful inhumane decisions.

I mean, what else could it possibly be? and dog jpg


Well, don’t worry. Despite his high anxiety I see that John Boehner is finally reaching across the aisle to hold hands with the home team and sing Kumbaya.

“John has to hold hands”

Nervous dog Tommy gets over his car fear by insisting on holding his owner's hand


So it’s just a matter of time before our government is back up and running. So look out  Vegas! We’ll be bringing our business back soon:


Todays Public Service Announcement was brought to you in memory of Breitbart:

obama will not eat breitbart's dog-2 copy_thumb[1]

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Mireille Buser on facebook, and @2oldCrabs on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, October 11, 2013

Yay! We’re Number 2! (Or possibly 4, I’m not sure)


top4motusThanks BFH!

First of all, I’d like to congratulate Thomas Lifson and all the other fine contributors (I think there must be over ten thousand of them vs. one little old mirror here) over at American Thinker for winning the very semi-final round of iOTW’s Readers FavWorite Blog contest.

And I want to thank all my loyal supporters: the campaign staff, the volunteers, the  poll “workers” and all the fansite voters. Without all your hard work and dedication to Chicago rules, I never would have made it this far. So give yourselves a big shout out!

And although we rallied at the finish line, we were, unfortunately, unable to overcome the the huge lead AT grabbed  established in the overnight early-voting block when we were all asleep. So I don’t consider this a defeat for our cause, since we’re all on the same team, just a slight setback in by drive and aspiration to become a huge star on the national scene with access to the kind of campaign bundlers the big guys have  really make a difference.

So thanks to all the little people who contributed in your own small way to my success (h/t el Rushbo). And with your continued support and prayers, WE SHALL RETURN TO KICK A**!

And seriously, this was a lot of fun – thanks to BFH for the opportunity to play, and thanks to everyone here who kept us going right through the very semi-finals* (h/t PortiaElizabeth).



And Go Blue! (That’s UofM, lest there be any confusion)


* “Bunny Bixler and I were in the semi-finals - the very semi-finals, mind you - of the ping-pong tournament at the club and this ghastly thing happened. We were both playing way over our heads and the score was 29-28. And we had this really terrific volley and I stepped back to get this really terrific shot. And I stepped on the ping-pong ball! I just squashed it to bits. And then Bunny and I ran to the closet of the game room to get another ping-pong ball and the closet was locked! Imagine? We had to call the whole thing off. Well, it was ghastly. Well, it was just ghastly.” - Gloria Upson, Auntie Mame

Shutdown Day 11: Everything is working exactly as planned.



It’s important to understand that in Washington D.C. things always go exactly as expected. Except in the case of economic and unemployment data which is mysterious, beyond our control and volatile by nature. Hence, those numbers always come in either “unexpectedly” higher or lower than our forecast.

Unexpectedly-Obama-MottoWe can always explain why, after the fact, so it’s as if it didn’t really happen.


“Going as expected” however, should not be confused with things going “as planned” which implies we designed an actual program with quantitative, verifiable results beyond simply the “transformation of America.” Which we’ve never actually done, so those type of metrics are irrelevant.

Take Obamacare for example; we designed it to fundamentally transform America to be (ultimately) a single-payer socialized healthcare system. That’s our only real benchmark, so fussing around about “how many people actually signed up for Obamacare” once they find out how it works and how much it costs is, frankly, irrelevant to our objective.

So if you were one of the many, many hundreds of people who managed to get far enough into the process these past 10 days to actually register your password before getting the dreaded 404 error message,


only to be advised by one of our call centers that you would have to re-register your password since our first “upgrade” erased them all: good news! You won’t have to after all! (Re-register your password that is; you will have to start the registration process over.)

It is with great pride, then, that HHS would like to announce that at least that part of the website is working “exactly as expected.” So we can put one in the “WINNING!” column!

Even though you weren’t able to actually get a quote on the cost of your new Obamacare policy, don’t worry, that was exactly what we expected. Surely you didn’t expect us to get a computer program based on simple algorithms up and running in only 3 years for anything short of a trillion $$$$ did you? Well, neither did we!  Ipso Fatso, it is performing “exactly as expected.”

obamacare1Exactly as most of us expected

Besides, until such time as we can figure out a way to blame the exorbitantly high premiums entirely on the greedy insurance industry, we don’t really want you to see the projected cost. And don’t even get me started on the co-pays! Or your chances of keeping your doctor if you like your doctor.

obamacare dr

So, it’s reassuring to hear that – aside from a few “glitches” i.e., system crashes - everything is working as expected with respect to Obamacare. Just as things have with all of our previous, popular and highly successful, initiatives.

For example, our Stimulus Plan that was designed by really Big Brains and crony capitalists to save the economy by pumping it up with a trillion dollars worth of shovel-ready projects.

Highway_Obama_Shovel_ReadyNot as shovel ready as first thought

And just like our TSA security kabuki-theatre system which - as Janet Napolitano famously stated – “worked exactly as expected”  in the case of the Christmas Day panty bomber. (If your system involved seating a brave Dutch citizen close to the panty bomber so he could leap up to beat out the flaming underpants with his bare hands before they went “boom” and took a plane down over Detroit).

hero jasper schuringa_thumb[1]Brave Dutch tourist, Jasper Schuringa: integral part of TSA aviation security system.

So sleep well this weekend, my pretties, the transformation of America is working exactly as  expected.


Butt it would seem that every week a few more people are catching on.

Obama_shovel_229“What are we shoveling now, boss?”

“Shut up and keep digging.”

Linked By: V Kelly Peay, Carol Hegarty, Mireille Buser, Abby L Call, Rich Pletcher on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Cage Match Semi-Finals: MOTUS vs American Thinker


Looks like I may have met my match. The power of American thinker is knocking me for a loop! Straight voting this time. Chicago Rules are NOT in effect.

 Go to iOwnTheWorld and VOTE FOR MOTUS!!!

Linked By: Clint Counts, Abby L Call, Julie Worden on facebook, Thanks!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Shutdown Day 10: A Cinderella Story Emerges

It looks like I survived the clash of the titans round on iOTW last night, thanks to my posse of MOLs, MODs, MYLs, MYDs, and FOMs!!! And while I’m deeply honored, I’m more than a little surprised as well. I mean, did you SEE the competitors? Ann Barnhart – she’s brilliant and she burns Korans in her spare time; Atlas Shrugs’ Pam Geller – she’s a one woman tour de force seeking to wake America up to the dangers of creeping Sharia, publishing stories that nobody in the MSM finds newsworthy; American Thinker home of our own Clarice – enough said – who doesn’t love it? And the incomparable Mark Steyn!!! The only fill-in host better than the host himself? Just being named on the same page with these bloggers gives me the vapors.

And while BFH’s multiple large bold type explanations were quite clear:

The instructions were *explicit (*jimbo edit, ty) and were in giant bold type and the voting section had an additional message  to be careful when voting-  the person you thumbed up meant that that person was the one you wanted to see eliminated from the Final Four.

…still. Don’t get me wrong; I’m honored to have advanced to the finals, and ready to do battle. Butt I was thinking, what if this is a mistake? What if despite all the warning signs,


people still thought they were voting for their favorite by giving it a thumbs up? Normally that lack of reading comprehension skill would be, well, incomprehensible. Butt then, I saw this article about Americans being dumber than even the average dumb globalist.

Could that be it? Have Americans turned into a big herd of Dumbos? So to speak.

 i'm stupid

This new possibility could reopen many an old can of worms. For example, maybe Algore really did win the presidential election back in 2000! Perhaps people in Florida really were so confused by the voting instructions (written by Democrats, butt that’s irrelevant) that when they pulled the George W. Bush lever or punched the little black box next to his name they really thought they were casting a vote for Algore. I mean, come on, those low hanging chads didn’t just appear on their own.

At a minimum, this newly discovered Adult-onset idiocy explains some of the emerging mysteries of the 21st century. For example,  I finally understand why so many people believe Algore’s myth of global warming: it was a door prize! They felt so bad about him having the election stolen from him that they decided to make him a multi-millionaire in the mythical carbon credits industry.

Selling his worthless TV station to Middle Eastern propagandists was just a bonus.

al%20gore%203That’s one more thumb’s up vote for Al!

And it sure goes a long way in explaining how Big Guy WON two rounds of votes. LoFoVo’s are not known for their reading comprehension skills or - for that matter - reading at all.

sheeple2Heading to the voting booth after the Obama rally

Let’s look a little closer at what the article says about American adults being dumber than the average global bear these days:

It’s long been known that America’s school kids haven’t measured well compared with international peers. Now, there’s a new twist: Adults don’t either.

In math, reading and problem-solving using technology – all skills considered critical for global competitiveness and economic strength – American adults scored below the international average on a global test, according to results released Tuesday.

Americans scored toward the bottom in the category of problem solving in a technology rich environment. The top five scores in the areas were from Japan, Finland, Australia, Sweden and Norway, while the US score was on par with England, Estonia, Ireland and Poland. In nearly all countries, at least 10 percent of adults lacked the most basic of computer skills such as using a mouse.

-Japanese and Dutch adults who were ages 25 to 34 and only completed high school easily outperformed Italian or Spanish university graduates of the same age.

-In England, Germany, Italy, Poland, and the United States, social background has a big impact on literacy skills, meaning the children of parents with low levels of education have lower reading skills.

America’s school kids have historically scored low on international assessment tests compared to other countries, which is often blamed on the diversity of the population and the high number of immigrants. Also, achievement tests have long shown that a large chunk of the US student population lacks basic reading and math skills – most pronounced among low-income and minority students.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the number of “immigrants” that come here thinking they really don’t need to learn how to speak English? Can I ask that? Is it racist?


Anyway, here’s the good news:

-The average scores in literacy range from 250 in Italy to 296 in Japan. The US average score was 270. (500 was the highest score in all three areas.) Average scores in 12 countries were higher than the average US score.

-The average scores in math range from 246 in Spain to 288 in Japan. The US average score was 253, below 18 other countries.

-The average scores on problem solving in technology-rich environments ranged from 275 in Poland to 294 in Japan. The US average score was 277, below 14 other countries

Hey! That’s not so bad; we’re better than Italy in literacy, better than Spain in math, and better than Poland in problem solving; of course Poland’s still trying to figure out how many people it takes to screw in a light bulb. You knew that was coming, right?

Polish-light-bulbWe’ve got it figured out; now if the supervisor would just get here, we’re all set.

So, Yay! We’re number 13, 19 and 15! Woo-hoo! Take that, China!

To quote that great American philosopher, Homer Simpson:

"Did we lose a war? That's not America. That's not even Mexico." - Homer Simpson, Trash of the Titans 


The good news is that my posse tops them all in reading and comprehension skills! Consequently, I WON!!! Well, at least I didn’t get voted off the island.

I think Menderman gave the perfect analysis of BFH’s tricky methodology in the “Contest Comment section”:


After noodling on that for a while, I concluded that this is the way we should conduct our national elections. Think about it: the High Information Voters will comprehend the instructions and vote for their choice correctly, whether their choice is right or not left.

The morons Low Information Voters will stumble into the booth, click on the Democrat and we will WIN!!!


Anyway, this one in is the history books, and while I’m sad to see Ann Barnhart depart, I’m still in the mix!!!

final results

Thank you sooooooo much for being High Information Voters and keeping me on the island!!!

This Cinderella moves on to the Final Four!!!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Erwin Meinhardt on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

iOwnTheWorld Elimination Round: MOTUS vs Everybody

iOwnTheWorld’s Favorite Blog Competition has taken a tricky turn. The elimination round has begun and will end at 11:59 PM EST tonight. How tricky?

The blog with the MOST THUMBS UP LOSES!!!

Go to iOwnTheWorld and DO NOT GIVE MOTUS A THUMBS UP!!!


elim round





Shutown Day 9: Stamps, Tramps, Vamps and Scamps. In no particular order.





elim round


This public service announcement has been brought to you by a h/t from golfmom3:

“With the Just Move! stamp issuance the U.S. Postal Service hoped to raise awareness about the importance of physical activity in achieving a healthy lifestyle. However, according to Linns Stamp News, the USPS will be destroying the entire press run after receiving concerns from the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition over alleged “unsafe” acts depicted on three of the stamps.

I don’t think these stamps are really dangerous to your health. I’m passing this information  on for the benefit of the philatelists out there. Get your head out of the gutter - they’re stamp collectors. I thought you’d want to know, because these stamps are about to become collector’s items, and if you can get your hands on some of them, they’ll be a better investment than anything else you have in your IRA.


The recalled stamps depict children performing dangerous activities such as:

“a cannonball dive, skateboarding without kneepads and a headstand without a helmet…also a batter without a batting helmet, a girl balancing on a slippery rock, and a soccer player without kneepads or shin pads.”

Not only that, butt as you can clearly see the stamps are also racist. The only black child depicted is shooting hoops! Do you see what happens when the government shuts down and people are left to their own devices, without adequate oversight? You get graphic artists designing racist cartoon stamps depicting kids performing dangerous, non-government sanctioned athletic activities. 

While we don’t tolerate anything that smacks of racism around here, dangerous sports activities, I’m sorry to say, are no stranger to the Big White. Lady M herself has participated in some non-government approved activities in the past:

flying2pngFlying without a properly filed flight plan with FAA

x-defaultPlaying hockey without a helmet (or a puck)

whblog_0908Playing football without a helmet or proper upper body padding (lower body-OK)

pb-120727-michelle-obama-london-04_photoblog900Twerking without proper upper body protection

Michelle Obama First Lady Michelle Obama Lauches HttCVvxhwGjlTwerking without music

Screenshot Studio capture #1149Twerking with music

michelle-obama-sprout450High jumping without a government approved parachute

58702779Hooping with inadequate stomach support

running with jugsRunning, with jugs

white7I haven’t got a clue, butt it looks dangerous. Caption contest?

And it appears that MO isn’t the only one performing dangerous tricks around the White House these days. BO held an emergency presser yesterday (always a bad idea, as there’s a danger that TOTUS won’t be adequately loaded, and he’ll make Big Guy sound dumb).And calling what was essentially a bully pulpit speech a “press conference” always leaves the door open for hostile fire.

However, I think it worked out pretty well: in his 45 minute preamble to the presser, Barry cited “Republicans” more times than he used the words “I” or “my” – making it a truly historical speech.

bo not my fault I didn’t cause the Republicans to take hostages, threaten to blow up the place and cause a world-wide recession. Somebody else did that.


If you're in negotiations around buying somebody's house, you don't get to say, well, let's talk about the price I'm going to pay, and if you don't give the price then I'm going to burn down your house. That's not how negotiations work. That's not how it happens in business.[ed. In business, people don’t usually refuse to talk to the people they’re negotiating with either.] That's not how it happens in private life.

So let me explain this [ed. “to you morons”]. If Congress refuses to raise what's called the debt ceiling, America would not be able to meet all of our financial obligations for the first time in 225 years.

And because it's called raising the debt ceiling, I think a lot of Americans think it's raising our debt.[ed.What a bunch of maroons!] It is not raising our debt. This does not add a dime to our debt [ed. until, maybe, 5 minutes after it’s raised].

It is true he took about a dozen non-questions from print reporters – none of whom, surprisingly, asked anything about Obamacare or the Shutdown Theatre. He didn’t take any questions from TV reporters at ABC, NBC, Ms.NBC, CBS, CNN, or the hateful Fox News; all of whom have been giving Jay-Jay grief lately.


Sensing some frustration in the room, Obama remarked at one point that the choice of which reporters to call on was not his, but his press secretary, Jay Carney. “I’m just going through my list, guys,” he said. “Talk to Jay.”

Ah yes, it’s good to be king. There are always plenty of little people around to blame your snits on.

Or maybe Jay-Jay really is in charge around here?

ObamaWhy not? He’s got all the looks down: “Yes, I’m listening”

jay-carney-on-jay-z-1365705580“Butt I really don’t give a f***”

Anyway. Big Guy finally resorted to the always reliable Clinton strategy, lie through your teeth:

Our housing market is healing; we've cut the deficit in half. Since I took office, the deficit is coming down faster than any time in the last 50 years.

Barack-Obama2As long as you’re wearing your donkey ears, nobody will call you on it.

In fact, they might even toast you for it.

MichelleToastElSalvadorTite284SaulLoebsfpgtty3-22-11_jpgAnother dangerous White House activity: drinking without the proper restraints

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Mary Devore, Dede Caplinger, Abby L Call, Mireille Buser, Annie Brown on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network