Sunday, October 6, 2013

Government Shutdown Day 6: Lie, Lies, Lies and Five Guys

Day Six and the Obamacare Website - riddled with “glitches,” error messages and random question marks since it went live, is now officially down for “scheduled maintenance.”  I might have scheduled it for a little more convenient time: like maybe before we went live.

site-downFinally! A shovel ready project.

Fortunately nobody has paid much attention as we’ve shape-shifted everyone’s attention to  THE GREAT AMERICAN ANARCHIST GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN OF 2013 rather than the failure of the great American socialized medicine system. Can you even imagine the fodder that could be derived from that unfortunate metaphor!?

After 3 years in the incubator and we suffered a major system overload and complete failure just 5 days into the program.

failure to launchUh, yeah, Houston, we have a problem: failure to launch.

Any way you try to paint it, that doesn’t bode well for the future of America’s health care.

And that’s why we’ve – temporarily - transformed our “Hope’nChange” promotion to  “Happe’nChance.”

No longer content to wait for a good crisis to exploit, we are going to make our own damn luck from now on! Which is brilliant on several fronts; not only does it allow us to shift LoFo’s attention where ever we need it, butt since our Big Brain Crisis Team isn’t any good at resolving crises we’ve reassigned them to creating them.


So, in case you still don’t get it, that’s why Barry has dug his heels in and declared there will be no shore leave until morale improves:

“That's why I won't pay a ransom in exchange for reopening the government. And I certainly won't pay a ransom in exchange for raising the debt ceiling. For as reckless as a government shutdown is, an economic shutdown that comes with default would be dramatically worse.”  – Barack Obama Weekly Address, October 5, 2013


Here’s Big Guy chastising the American Teahadists for shutting down America because they don’t like Obamacare – which happens to be “the law of the land”- just because he’s black. He also relays just a few of the thousands of sob stories submitted (as a result of our solicitation) about hardships imposed by the heartless Republicans:

Sob_Stories_SHutdown_Contest_600PeoplesCube via iOTW

In order to prevent despair among the camp of loyal civilian troops, Barry sent them all a personal letter praising them for their past performance and sacrifice:

“You have endured three years of a Federal pay freeze, harmful sequester cuts, and now, a shutdown of our Government. And yet, you persevere, continuing to serve the American people with passion, professionalism, and skill."

irs-cupid-shuffle IRS team: persevering with passion, professionalism, and line dancing skill.


"None of this is fair to you. And should it continue, it will make it more difficult to keep attracting the kind of driven, patriotic, idealistic Americans to public service that our citizens deserve and that our system of self-government demands,"

GSA-JeffJeff Neeley, GSA: just one of the driven, patriotic, idealistic Americans in public service that our citizens deserve.

I don’t know about that last part; the salary and perks alone for government jobs might continue to attract youngsters unable to find any jobs in the private sector.

Then we went on to assure them that, while he knew they didn’t want to take this unplanned vacation, he would do everything in his power to ensure that they get paid for it:

"I will continue to do everything in my power to get the House of Representatives to allow our Government to reopen as quickly as possible, and make sure you receive the pay that you have earned,"

andrews01_systemisdowncrop_620x3503 years, 130,000 employees, $900 billion dollars and all I got was this lousy error message.

If you don’t think this is a “big f’ing deal,” think about this: nearly 17% of our federal overlords have been furloughed! Who will feed us? Who will give us free condoms and free Obamaphones? I think you can now see just how serious this historic shutdown is and why the MSM can focus on nothing else – well, other than Halle Berry’s (she’s black, you know) new baby boy.


And I want you to know, we’re all sharing your pain. Instead of our family meals and snacks being prepared by our long time personal chef, Sammy K, we are making do with sustenance  pulled together by White House chef Comerford, and take-out from Five Guys until this ordeal is over.

Plus, we’re down to just one dog handler which, as you can see, is going to be a real problem:

little bo and sunny 2 waysPhoto by Eddie Gehman Kohan/Obama Foodorama

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Candace Crider, Sandy Peterson, Dennis Denton, Abby L Call, Jon Gibson, Keith Sayegh, Mireille Buser on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network