Monday, December 31, 2012

A Very Special MOTUS Retrospective: the Best of 2012

It’s New Year’s Eve (or “NYE” as the media has recently decided to abbreviate it now that everybody texts everything) and MOTUS is saving herself for the stroke of midnight.

So in the spirit of our lazy legislators and deliberately remiss journolists I’m doing my “best of 2012” - half today, and half tomorrow! I’m not sure if that’s a two-fer or a four-fer, butt it’s definitely a replay.

So please enjoy these memories from the vaults of MOTUS as the clock strikes midnight and  we all turn into pumpkins, thanks to our do-nothing Congress.

Cinderella's_Pumpkin_Carriage

(God bless their little hearts; someday we’ll all come to the realization that we’d be better off if they NEVER did anything.)

So let’s tackle this past year from the top:

January: Bitch Stole My Look!®

In which we witness the Oscar contenders emulating Lady M’s fashion forwardness.

mo tilda swinton

February: Karl Loves the Wons 

In which Karl Lagerfeld endorses Big Guy and Lady M’s reelection since, as he so diplomatically put it, “… I want Mr. Obama who I think is very okay— because there is nothing better anyway — [to be re-elected], especially because of her."

bo-nothing better anyway-FINAL copy

March: Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragons

In which we join Lady M for the annual Rites of Spring in her Garden of Good and Evil where she plants the seeds of future revolution.

planting potatoes

April: Out of the Darkness: Hot Dogs!

In which we discover that nobody actually read Big Guy’s first authorized autobiography.

bo-dogcone copy

May: Hitler Discovers Obama Stole His Theme Song. ‘Nuf said.

 

June: Molsterman Report #1: DOJ’s Fast and Furiously Expanding Scandal 

In which the Molsterman first appears and reports on the round-the-clock shredding going on at Fast and Furious ground zero: the DOJ.

          the_molsterman_report_copy[8]article-new_ehow_images_a04_pi_kd_invented-paper-shredder-800x800

To be continued…

cinderella-pumpkinBe sure to get your Cinderella Pumpkins on Amazon before the price goes up at midnight.

Oh, and if you plan on celebrating our new pumpkin status tonight…let’s be careful out there. You don’t want to wake up feeling like you ate a bale of cotton.

drtr

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Peers-More-Gun

What? Is the War on Women over?

Who won? Oh…sorry, that’s a trick question.

ht_barack_obama_Barbara_walters_2_nt_121211_wgMy! What a lovely petticoat, Mizz Michelle! And your dress is lovely too.

Anyway, I guess we’ve tabled the WOW to take up arms (so to speak) against the guns.The “War on Guns” – that’s a whole new kind of irony, even for the Left.

mo toned armsLady M: still bravely declaring the right to bare arms against a rising tide of opposition

I know you’ve been following this controversy, and it seems the country is divided along two lines: those who believe the Second Amendment guarantees our right to bear arms, and  those who prefer that murderers commit their crime the old fashioned way, by pushing people onto the track of oncoming trains.

Either way, controversy has erupted over whether we should ban “assault rifles” and “high capacity magazines” specifically or hand guns in general. As you know our betters (most Democratic politicians and all of the talking heads) favor the latter, because, well, because it’s just “common sense,” right? The masses can never be trusted with guns:

In fact the Left has the same attitude toward the people they refer to as “the masses” as medieval lords had toward the peasantry; peasants with weapons could storm the castle.(snip)

The editors end the way these “conversations” usually do:

“If LaPierre and the NRA truly want to make meaningful contributions, they should have the grace, decency and good sense to get out of the way. They've dominated the debate over gun violence for decades. And they've failed.”

Translation: “shut up.”  We know what’s best for you.  (h/t Instapundit)

And now British ex-pat Piers Morgan is threatening to self-deport if America doesn’t outlaw the weapons that he finds offensive. Boy, talk about a Win-Win!

piers“I’m outta here, whether you beg me to stay or not.”

I don’t know where he’d go though, Britain doesn’t want him back. Plus, it’s not like Britain is exactly a haven of peace and tranquility these days either. Since the Brits got what American Libs can only dream of - a complete ban on handguns including “compulsory buyback” aka, confiscation, like Dianne Feinstein wants - look at what has happened there:

WSJ via Weasel Zippers:

Americans are determined that massacres such as happened in Newtown, Conn., never happen again. But how? Many advocate more effective treatment of mentally-ill people or armed protection in so-called gun-free zones. Many others demand stricter control of firearms.

We aren’t alone in facing this problem. Great Britain and Australia, for example, suffered mass shootings in the 1980s and 1990s. Both countries had very stringent gun laws when they occurred. Nevertheless, both decided that even stricter control of guns was the answer. Their experiences can be instructive.

In 1987, Michael Ryan went on a shooting spree in his small town of Hungerford, England, killing 16 people (including his mother) and wounding another 14 before shooting himself. Since the public was unarmed—as were the police—Ryan wandered the streets for eight hours with two semiautomatic rifles and a handgun before anyone with a firearm was able to come to the rescue.

Nine years later, in March 1996, Thomas Hamilton, a man known to be mentally unstable, walked into a primary school in the Scottish town of Dunblane and shot 16 young children and their teacher. He wounded 10 other children and three other teachers before taking his own life.

After Hungerford, the British government banned semiautomatic rifles and brought shotguns—the last type of firearm that could be purchased with a simple show of fitness—under controls similar to those in place for pistols and rifles. Magazines were limited to two shells with a third in the chamber.

Dunblane had a more dramatic impact. Hamilton had a firearm certificate, although according to the rules he should not have been granted one. A media frenzy coupled with an emotional campaign by parents of Dunblane resulted in the Firearms Act of 1998, which instituted a nearly complete ban on handguns. Owners of pistols were required to turn them in. The penalty for illegal possession of a pistol is up to 10 years in prison.

The results have not been what proponents of the act wanted. Within a decade of the handgun ban and the confiscation of handguns from registered owners, crime with handguns had doubled according to British government crime reports. Gun crime, not a serious problem in the past, now is. Armed street gangs have some British police carrying guns for the first time. Moreover, another massacre occurred in June 2010. Derrick Bird, a taxi driver in Cumbria, shot his brother and a colleague then drove off through rural villages killing 12 people and injuring 11 more before killing himself.

Is it too much to ask of liberals that they put their thinking caps on? What part of “if guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns” do they not understand. And why?

kids donkey thinking cap hatCaution: Mad Donkey Thinking Caps in use

Oh well, at least Piers still has big friends in low places looking out for him.

when twits tweet

michael moore DS hatsMichael Moore in his thinking caps: What do you think the “DS” stands for? Hint: starts with “Dumb” ends with “hit”

michael moore loser copyWhatever

Meanwhile, people are also calling for a complete ban on “bath salts” as they’ve been deemed to be responsible for a recent spate of zombie like murders caused by chewing your friend’s face off.

piers and former gf celia waldenSomeday you may just wish you had More-Guns, Piers.

To borrow from Gerard at American Digest:

“Door. Ass. Bang!

[To quote the Bard: " Stand not upon the order of your going, but go at once. "]”

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Andrea Shea King: The Radio Patriot, and Harriet Ormsbee on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Our Rhinestone in the Rough (Ruff?)

Don’t look now, butt while you slept, the Republicans deployed the McCain Economic Disaster Plan.

Here’s how this previously discredited crisis management tool works: the lead R-words make a lot of noise about being adults, making hard choices, the magnitude of the crisis, the seriousness of consequences, etc., etc..Then they sit back and wait for Big Guy ride in on his palomino pony; hence clinching the myth that only BO can save the day.

blazing-barry-crop-1_thumb7

There'll be a load of compromisin'
On the road to my horizon
But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me

You probably remember how well this strategy worked for John McCain in '08,

                    McCain_chokeUSA ELECTIONS BARACK OBAMA

and then again in '11 when the R-words deployed during the debt ceiling negotiations:

gunman

o rhinestone

So there’s no reason why we can’t expect the same sparkling results from Big Guy’s bag of conflict resolution tricks this time around as well. Of course the fiscal crisis is far graver now, since we kicked the “hard decision” part down the road past the election. We’ve progressed  waaay  beyond the “eat your peas” point now; we’ve blown right past broccoli too and now we’re all the way up to kohlrabi1.

Specifically, what Big Guy told the nation yesterday after an hour’s worth of really hard work trying to hammer out a deal with the do-nothing Congress is this:

Ordinary folks, they do their jobs. They meet deadlines. They sit down and discuss things and then things happen. It there are disagreements they sort through the disagreements. The notion that our elected leadership can’t do the same thing is mind-boggling to them. It needs to stop. So I’m modestly optimistic that an agreement can be achieved. Nobody’s going to get 100% of what they want. But let’s make sure that middle class families and the American economy and in fact the world economy aren’t adversely impacted because people can’t do their jobs.

Or, as the Gateway Pundit put it: “That’s a pretty bold statement considering he was in Hawaii golfing all week.” Of course, as we all know BO is not “ordinary folk” – hence ordinary rules do not apply.

So I think we have every reason to expect a spectacular New Year’s Eve resolution from our Dear Leader. Something befitting a guy with a big hat holding us all as chattel.

obama-cowboy hatLike a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo

All he has to do is kick the dirt and click his little rhinestone heels together, Small-Boots-Rhinestone-Transfer_90696626

and voila! Off the cliff we’ll go. We can always work on the landing later.

Daredevils_Main_1549262aAnd if everyone else jumps off the cliff, why wouldn’t you follow?

1 Kohlrabi: a strange member of the cabbage family that appears to be some type of alien root vegetable

              kohlrabikohlrabi_(1)kohlrabi-family

that comes in both white and dark varieties. It appears to be an alien root vegetable, butt what looks like a root is actually the stem. The actual root is hidden away underground secretly sapping all the nutrients out of the soil with speed and alacrity to produce a really odd vegetable that most people will refuse to eat.

Lady M will tell you how delicious kohlrabi is, butt she has never actually eaten it herself – too much like slave food, you know? And speaking of Lady M, I’m sure you will all appreciate the color “pop” of her latest pedicure. Gives a whole new meaning to “banana boats,” no?

yellow neon pedicureSistah Golden Toes (h/t: AnnaK)

Linked By: Victory Girls, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Friday, December 28, 2012

The No Santa Clause

 

Yes-Virginialetter

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. Butt he’s probably not who you think he is.

socialism-this-obvious

And like everything in America these days, there are people on both sides of the issue. Take Touré for example, who’s waging his own private war on Christmas by attacking Santa Claus.

toure imagesizerImagine: a smug, arrogant preppy, half-black dude with a cool name lecturing us on Santa Claus

Obama-Terry03Now imagine that poseur on steroids

Touré Neblett has been much criticized for his refusal to lie to his children about Santa Claus:

During a cute segment on what The Cycle hosts did for their respective Christmas celebrations, Touré shocked his colleagues (and plenty of viewers) by saying that he refuses to lie to his children about the existence of Santa Claus, instead allowing his kids to pick out their own presents and not think that some “stranger” magically places gifts under the tree overnight.

“My 5-year-old and 3-year-old, we didn’t talk about Santa at all,” he explained. “I went shopping with them and let Hendrix pick out a present for himself and his sister…the idea that the presents did not come from us never came up. It never occurred. We put out the presents before bedtime on Christmas Eve. There was no myth that some stranger is going to come in through the door.”

Co-host Krystal Ball had just explained her daughter’s cute Santa-related story, and so she proceeded to tease Touré and call his parenting decision “lame.”

“I’m sorry. We didn’t lie to our children,” he shot back. “I don’t think that that’s lame, but whatever…”

I, on the other hand, think uber-liberal Touré might have inadvertently stumbled onto something and ought to be applauded. His approach to raising children by not lying to them might just save the country.

Dear santa how much do I owe youDear Santa, I’m 2 years old. How much do I owe you so far?

Can you even imagine the benefits of having a whole generation of children who’ve been taught that there’s no such thing as Santa Claus! That it’s up to them to work hard, save their money and then buy what they want rather than waiting for Santa to deliver their presents every month.

312192649_obama_santa_claus_xlarge

Good luck Touré, that’s going to be a hard sell. And until that takes root, yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. As long as BO is president and Congress is in session...

ap_congress_session_jef_110909_wmain

all of our Christmas presents will be funded by Christmases future.

debt-clock

So here’s the immortal question: is it better to lie to your children about “Santa Claus” or not to lie to your children about “Santa Claus?” I reflect, you decide.

obama-santa_1541469iI’m Barack Hussein Obama-Claus, and I do not approve this message.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and DeniseVB on The Crawdad Hole, and Mike Zimnicki on Facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Guns and Posers

Woo Hoo!!! WELCOME Insta-people!

Since Alinsky works for us now, and I’m about to deploy one of his rules, I think it’s time to review his entire repertoire:

Alinsky

Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals

Always remember the first rule of power tactics: Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.

The second rule is: Never go outside the experience of your people.

…The third rule is: Wherever possible go outside the experience of the enemy. Here you want to cause confusion, fear, and retreat.

…the fourth rule is: Make the enemy live up to their own book of rules.

…the fourth rule carries within it the fifth rule: Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.

…the sixth rule is: A good tactic is one that your people enjoy.

…the seventh rule is: A tactic that drags on too long becomes a drag.

…the eighth rule: Keep the pressure on.

…the ninth rule: The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself.

The tenth rule: The major premise for tactics is the development of operations that will maintain a constant pressure upon the opposition.

…The eleventh rule is: If you push a negative hard and deep enough it will break through into its counterside.

…The twelfth rule: The price of a successful attack is a constructive alternative.

…The thirteenth rule: Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.

The rule being deployed today is #4: “Make them live up to their own book of rules.”

So I’m afraid I must demand that David Gregory be prosecuted for breaking the law - as he did by brandishing a lethal “high capacity magazine” on Meet the Press. He must be treated just like any other criminal for this act which was clearly an act of dangerous disregard for human life.

article-gregory-1226Q: When is a prop just a prop?

Gregory_puppetA: When it’s brandished by a talking head?

As Professor William Jacobson points out, if the shoe had been on the other foot, it surely would’ve dropped:

Certainly, if LaPierre had shown up with that magazine, there would be howls of gotcha, and widespread media demands for prosecution. Why should NBC News and its star be above the law?

APTOPIX Psy performs on TODAY My, that’s really big shoe, connected to a really big leg, connected to a really big a..hole.

Butt if we are to employ the same standards to “won” of them, we need to arrest David immediately, in order to protect the population of Washington D.C. from this dancing maniac who clearly looks like he could go postal at any moment.

david-gregory-o.4gif

 

david-gregory-psy-o5

Let’s summarize the facts:

… the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department is on record that it told NBC News not to use the high capacity magazine in its segment with Wayne LaPierre, (snip)

The NY Times actually has a sensible and informative story on it:

In Washington, people who are caught in possession of the type of magazine that Mr. Gregory had can face up to a year in prison, said David Benowitz, a criminal defense lawyer.

“You would be arrested; you would most likely be charged with possession of an illegal magazine,” Mr. Benowitz said,(snip) Mr. Benowitz said the accusation from the police that NBC had asked for permission and then went ahead with showing the magazine “didn’t help Gregory’s case.”

Yeah, asking for permission is pretty damning when you ignore what you are told directly from the law enforcement authority and do it anyway.

(snip)

David Gregory isn’t being investigated because he’s David Gregory; if he were anyone else, he’d already be in jail

I know that David Gregory is one of our intellectual betters, knowledgeable about everything in the aggregate and expert in the entirety, butt if he broke the law, I’m afraid that’s even more reason to lock him up. After all, he’s the one who’s been lobbying for more aggressive gun laws.

And the fact that he ridiculed NRA president, Wayne LaPierre, for suggesting that we post armed guards in schools requires us to demand – in the name of fairness - that the armed guards at the school David Gregory’s children attend (Sidwell’s) be disarmed as well. You know how our betters feel about hypocrisy.

armed-guards-sidwell-friends-school

As Professor Jacobson reminded us, it’s important that we watch the watchers:

We have to do more of this, investigating the investigators and inquiring of the inquisitors. It’s one of the legal insurrections for 2013.

Or as good old Saul (and the Instapundit) put it: “make them live up to their own book of rules.”

tdy-120914-psy-anchors-02_photoblog600Somebody! Stop that dancing fool on the right before he hurts someone.

 

Screenshot Studio capture #826Screenshot Studio capture #828

More fun with Dick and Dave

Linked By: Instapundit, and creeper on Legal Insurrection, and DeniseVB on The Crawdad Hole, and Robert Watkins on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Obama Dined at Morimoto, 41 Ate Chinese

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I did, and even managed to go home to visit my Mirror family. Little Bro Mirror was released from the hospital and was home for Christmas; a testament to the miracle of modern medicine. Everyone told him how lucky he was to have suffered this major health malfunction before he was forced to buy a chance in the Obamacare lottery and wait for his number to come up – one way or another. So even though he still has a long recovery ahead of him, we were all humbly grateful and joyously celebratory this year.

Butt here’s what you get when the “B” team is on duty:

morimoto_thumb

Instead of a high quality reflection, all you get is a grainy, crappy photo taken by a local journolist of MO and BO leaving Morimoto Waikiki where they dined before Christmas.

Actually, the restaurant choice was surprising because, as I pointed out last year, Morimoto isn’t exactly an exemplary model of our new soon-to-be-imposed standards of civility.

MORIMOTO-5smorimoto-collageMasaharu-Morimoto

A little too much “Samurai Warrior” for the kinder, gentler, unarmed citizenry

As I understand them, the civility standards require the complete disarming of both citizens and uh…undocumented workers.

Not that I’m accusing Morimoto of being an illegal alien:

36 hours in honoluluButt that tongue is suspect

Other than eating, so far we haven’t done much in Hawaii, mostly playing golf with our personal chef (Sammy Kass, who goes everywhere with us now that “body man” Reggie quit to pursue “other interests”).

Oh, and Lady M? She continued performing her good works even while we try to relax in Hawaii. She helped NORAD direct Santa’s sleigh to the homes of good little black children all around the world on Christmas Eve. And as is often the case when Lady M lends a hand, we broke records.

norad.mojpg

Butt back to dinner: I’m sorry I don’t have a detailed description of the menu. I do know that Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto, of Iron Chef and Iron Chef America fame, is known for “his seamless integration of Western and Japanese ingredients.” Sounds like his fare is right up Big Guy’s alley. Well, almost...

morimoto-my-last-supper-484

Obama will not eat my dog! (h/t Breitbart)

In other news, 41 and family enjoyed Chinese take out for their Christmas dinner.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Mike Zimnicki on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!