Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragons

The excitement was palpable:

mo here she isLady M arrives in the Garden of Good and Evil

As is our practice, we imported kids for the annual planting party and since this is our last year to plant the seeds to WTF, this time we imported most of them from key swing states.

And no, before you ask, the Wee Wons were not in attendance; they have their own school field trips – to Brazil, I think, to observe the annual sugar cane harvest being converted into alternate fuel.

sugar cane to ethanolIt’s a science project

Or maybe they’re going to Turkey, to get a few pointers from President Erdogan’s daughters on proper dress (that they don’t seem to be getting from their own Mom).

bono sumeyye erdogan Sumeyye Erdogan demonstrates how to properly greet Bono, covered head to foot

When Big Guy met with his BTFF a few days ago to discuss Syria and Iran they also discussed the Wee Wons.

“The bottom line is that we find ourselves in frequent agreement upon a wide range of issues… [and] because he has two daughters that are a little older [ed. 17 and 19 years older, to be exact] than mine — they’ve turned out very well, so I’m always interested in his perspective on raising girls.”

Barry Rubin, an expert on Turkish politics, was a bit more circumspect about the conversation: 

By openly acknowledging Erdogan’s advice on child-rearing, Obama “didn’t realize what he’s saying,” said Barry Rubin.

Obama likely made the error, Rubin said, “because he is so unselfconscious and is not used to having to think through his remarks.”

x610A wink and a player

Still, “it is shocking that [Obama suggests] he takes child-raising advice from a radical Islamist,” whose wife dresses in black cloaks or tight headscarves when traveling in the West, said Rubin.

Overall, the White House statement about the meeting “goes beyond polite praise and good manners and practically slobbers over a repressive, pro-Iran leader whose hatred for Israel is literally hysterical,” said Rubin.

Sheeze, who’s being hysterical now?

Besides, Erodogon’s eldest daughter is a great role model for the Wee Won’s, she’s already graduated college:

sumeyye-erdogan_130046Sumeyye and her proud Mom

and is planning a political career with the help and coaching of her father, and any future husband, who will have help guiding her career with the help of this essential book:

a-gift-for-the-muslim-couple-book-islamic-sharia-lawFinally, a book on the proper keeping and beating of your wife

Butt I digress: back to the garden party: our imported props students helped Lady M plant potatoes, spinach, broccoli, carrots, radishes, onions and mustard. Mmm, mmm, mmm!

michelle-obama-gardenx-largeOh good! This year we got enough mustard greens!

For the occasion we chose casual stretchy (because of all the crouching and bending) capris, a J Crew paisley tone on tone tee, one of our signature mini-me-cardis and our blue suede sneakers.

blue sneaks

If it’s Keds, you know it must be the election season. Previous garden events featured Jimmy Choos:

            michelle-obama-garden-325x294boots jimmy choos

…and Tory Burches:

tory burch bootsmocow

Lady M kicked off the planting party with a few inspirational words:

MRS. OBAMA: Well, I don’t know if you know, one of the reasons why we plant the garden is that it's an important way to have a good conversation about your health. [ed. why else would you plant a garden?] Because one of the things that I've been trying to do as First Lady is work on an initiative that I call Let’s Move.  Have you guys heard about Let’s Move?


MRS. OBAMA:  And what’s it all about, Let’s Move?  All right just yell it out -- exercise, good eating, getting healthy.  That’s right, because we guys want you to grow up healthy.  And the garden is a good way to start the conversation, because vegetables and fruits are a big part of a healthy diet.

And by “we guys” she means the US government.


Sadly, though, no “rhubarb dance” for this year’s Rites of Spring.

rhubarb dance2rhubarb dance

Chef Sammy and Lady M lead the children in the “Rhubarb Dance” during the Rites of Spring in the 2010 planting

Some voters wrote to Lady M, complaining about it being a pagan ritual and, as I mentioned, it’s an election year so we nixed the dance this year in favor of something a little less controversial:

mo's treeWe switched back to a tree worship ceremony, a more mainstream practice in the secular church of Global Warming.

planting potatoesWe get down and dirty with our signature “crouching tiger, hidden dragon” gardening move

crouching tigersHere Lady M demonstrates how to plant tiny seed potatoes now, in HOPE of a big harvest in the future:


Anyway, as with most of these events, it seemed like it was over before it even got started, and Lady M was off to tend to her next sacrifice for America.

leavin' EdenLady M, Leavin’ Eden. You all carry on, you hear?

She needs to help Big Guy figure out how to wiggle out his latest gaffe about “flexibility” which apparently the R-words – being the rigid iconoclasts that they are – have their panties in a bundle over.

SOUTH KOREA NUCLEAR SECURITY SUMMITOr maybe they’re just upset about the creepy hand holding with Demitri

You know, Big Guy’s off-hand remark to Demitri about staying flexible until after he wins his last election in November?

Well, maybe we’ll all have more flexibility after November 6, 2012. Let’s HOPE so.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!