Monday, March 26, 2012

Bag Men and Mad Men: UPDATED

How is this news?

More than 60 of Obama's biggest campaign donors have visited the White House more than once for meetings with top advisers, holiday parties or state dinners, a review by The Associated Press has found.


warren buffetJEFF ANDREA IMELT
The money bags boys arrive for State dinners

What’s the big deal? It’s legal (in D.C. morality has always been severable from legality) and a time honored precedent. Why, Big Dog actually held lotteries for the Lincoln bedroom suite during highly desirable holiday bookings.

So the fact that people are now criticizing Big Guy and Lady M for entertaining their largest and most reliable benefactors is just another example of rampant racism in this politically charged environment.

Just because Big Guy criticized these  “pay-for-access privileges” - especially the Clinton’s – it never meant that he didn’t intend to do the same thing. Of course, early in our term, we did attempt to give the impression that we weren’t going to allow access just for giving Big Guy a ton of cash. Butt then our high rollers started complaining, and we realized they’d pay even more for invites, so that didn’t last long.

Of course, our Hollywood benefactors were exempted from day one, because they’re “just entertainers.”

jayz-beyoncex-largeBeyonce and Jay Z, commandeer the Situation Room

So anyway, after we opened the schmooze gates again, we just loosened up our requirements for tracking all those Big White visitors as we promised back during our campaign. You know, in order to provide information for “the most transparent Presidency” ever? To date, timestamps showing arrivals and departures on the government's logs are incomplete for more than 1.7 million records.” It’s just an administrative detail.

bo and a wiseguy plus teh chamber guyBarack-Obama_Andy-Stern

Big Guy with Big Unions

And that doesn’t even include all the meetings held conveniently offsite at all the Starbucks surrounding the Big White, where records aren’t even required. Or any of our unofficial beer summits in the garden.


Or Big Guy’s big (photo-embargoed) 50th birthday BBQ at the Big White: where Tom Hanks, Whoopi Goldberg, Chris Rock, Jay-Z and Stevie Wonder had a rockin’ good time.


In fact, Chris Rock had such a good time, he did a whole stand up act about the party:

chris rock

You may recall that when Desiree Rogers (Desi) was Big Guy’s Social Secretary, before Smootie (Julianna Smoot) took over.

big d

You probably think she got canned because of the gate crasher incident, butt actually it was because we got so many complaints from our our big donors and Super Packers: not only was there not enough smoozing after they had paid to play, butt some complained that they hadn’t even received the obligatory Christmas Winter Holiday card from the First Family. When Smootie arrived on the scene, being an experienced fund raiser (her primary qualification for the job) she reinstituted all the requisite butt kissing and schmoozing generous “contributors” expect for their money. (For the record, Smootie has since moved on too, in order to continue her important WTF work.)

I’ve really got to run: our fourth big historical planting of the Garden of Good and Evil is about to get underway, and I still haven’t located my gardening gloves. I’ll have the full story tomorrow.

In the meantime, here’s something I thought you wouldn’t want to miss; apparently everybody feels free to criticize Big Guy while he’s out of the country. Did you see what the  Instapundit published by Victor Davis Hanson?

Our Modern Lynch Mob. “We went from the beer summit to Trayvon Martin’s resemblance to the boy the president never had. In each case, facts did not matter. . . . The role of a president is to rein in the mob, not to unleash it. The latter is what community organizers do; the former is what makes statesmen. Yet on issue after issue — anti-terrorism, global warming, government ethics, and racial relations — a frenzied mob, egged on by the media and demagogues like Barack Obama, have almost stormed the jail, only to dissipate when met by either evidence, or the knowledge that the incarcerated was one of their own — as if they had never screamed and threatened in the first place.”

Well I never!!


Community Organizers at work: New Black Panther’s offer $10,000 bounty on George Zimmerman.


Isn’t this kind of like a Fatwa? Or is that racist?


White House Dossier reporter (butt never won of our loyal lapdogs), Keith Koffler, got his mitts on won of our embargoed photos of Lady M sweatin’ in the East Wing with TeeVee’s Biggest Losers. Worse yet, he posted it on his website!


(H/T: BR)

I don’t know if the black Suburbans have pulled up in front of his office yet, or if Lady M’s SS Swat Team has him frog-walkin’ to the van as I type, butt I think he crossed a line here. Even if Granny Jan did find it on the intertoobs where Sonya, acting stupidly, posted it.

Although, the more I look at the photo, the more I think it’s ok. I mean, the losers are really fat. So fat, that they make Lady M look svelte. I’m going to tweet COS Pete “Grousie” Rouse and recommend that he let Sonya off with a warning this time, if she promises to consult with me in the future on proper cropping and “touch up” techniques before any photo of Lady M is released.

mo touch-up copy

That only took me, like 2 minutes, because that’s all I’ve got: I’m still looking for my gardening gloves. Have any of you seen them?