Saturday, October 31, 2009

In The Pink

pink house Although traditionally an orange and black themed holiday,  MO and BO decided to keep the pink Breast Cancer Awareness Month theme going for our official White House Halloween greeting card.

It also gives us a chance to roll-out our comprehensive strategy for fighting breast cancer with the robust public health care option.

US-POLITICS-BUSH-CANCER Lady M is wearing the very popular belted Pepto-Bismol bottle costume, Big Guy is wearing the matching macho-version sans fan belt, Joey B is clowning around as usual in his generic pink aspirin box. You can probably tell that Gibbsy isn’t too happy with his herbal colon cleanser and tonic costume. He wanted to wear his pirate suit again.

Rahmbo was a real buzz-kill.  He choose the arsenic bottle costume for Harry Reid, but when he and Nancy “old lace” Pelosi wound up being too busy up on the Hill ramming Big Guy’s health care bill down people’s throats, he had to wear it himself. Apparently it was good enough for someone else to wear, but not good enough for him. BO made him wear it anyway, in order to have someone representing the end of life death councils: because sometimes painkillers aren’t enough. The pink Windex is me, reflected into the photo.I didn’t tell anyone I was going to do it, but since everyone who’s seen my Big Fat Greek Wedding (and who hasn’t?), knows that Windex belongs in everyone’s medicine cabinet.

So there you have it: Happy Halloween from the affordable health-care plan for everyone.

Cupcakes and ice cream for everyone. Mmm, mmm, mmm.




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Friday, October 30, 2009

The Fruits of Victory

After breaking her back all summer tending to the White House Victory Garden, Lady M finally shoed away the undocumented workers so we could enjoy the fruits of our labors: a photo op. We invited all of the supportive media to join us as we shared the bounty with little children from a nearby school who were glad to be out of class but didn’t seem real excited about the squash and sweet potatoes.

mo's prl converseFor the occasion Mo dressed up as a giant eggplant. Purple Converses – how many times have we worn them now? – and a new purple studded Sacai belt just like her favorite black one.  mo's prl sacai belt

The full effect was stunning:mo's belt2










And yes I know there are a couple of “questionable” photos here. I don’t know how many times I have to explain to MO that I can only trans-image and refract in 2 directions at a time. If she insists on inviting ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, Associated Press, Reuters…, well basically everyone except FOX, I’m not going to be able to give her 360 degree coverage. So here we go again:

mo's belt mo's hike

This is a shot of Lady M pretending to be a peacock. The fennel tail was her idea. I warned her there was a possibility of it making her look like she was playing center for the Washington Redskins. Maybe she’ll listen next time.

mo's necklace

Here’s a close up of the mic (just in case she wanted to say a few words off the cuff) and her “hope” for “peace” necklaces. Frankly, I hope we’ve got a back up strategy. Because that whole hopey-changey thing has started looking a little rocky lately.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Lady M and Jilly escorted Hall of Fame catcher Yogi Berra to the mound last night at a chilly World Series opener at Yankee Stadium. Yogi is one of Big Guy’s favorites, even though BO’s not necessarily a Yankees fan (although I’m not saying he isn’t, either).

jill mo4

He’s even got some of Yogi’s famous sayings that just seem to resonate with him on his iPod . Like these:

“You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.”

“ In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”

“ If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.”

“I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?” 

“Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.”

“How can you think and hit at the same time?” (this one makes TOTUS laugh every time he hears it)

and this is his all time fav, "I didn't really say everything I said."

jill mo's shoes But back to the game: You’ll notice that MO is taller than both Yogi and Jilly. In fact, she was taller than Derek Jeter too. That’s why she wore these shoes;


jills heels And Jilly wore these:





But we had a good time, and I did the best I could considering the new hairdo that I’m still practicing on, and the  atmospheric conditions I had to deal with.

jill mo 2 A little bit cool, if you know what I mean. I was afraid we were going to have another of those Carla moments, but it passed.


And then the payoff: the first pitch. Mo was a little ticked off, because she thought she was going to get to throw it. They told her that the ball would be pitched by someone who had made a huge sacrifice for the country, and so naturally she assumed that was her. But when it turned out that West Point grad and Iraq War veteran Tony Odierno had sacrificed his arm in combat, even she could see that would trump her trip to Copenhagen.

But she’s still hoping to pitch at next year’s World Series – just to show the world that not everyone in the Big White pitches like a girl:

mo pitch copy



Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Pink Like Me

Yesterday Lady M made yet another great sacrifice for the country – the first since her trip to Copenhagen to beg for the first Obama Memorial Olympics. Since that one didn’t work out so well, she’s been a bit gun-shy, but a good cause has brought her altruism out of retirement.

This one went better. In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, she donated her favorite, signature pink bow from her Moschino suit to hang in the portico of the White House.

pink ribbon

mo giant pink bow

The Pansy brooch by Sonia Rykiel, however, will be recycled and used again on Holloween when Lady M dresses up as a bottle  of Pepto Bismol  to promote our new health care plan.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Woman Up

Honestly, we love the press around here. But why do papers like the New York Times (which we love) have to print unhelpful articles like this?  They say that “critics are saying” that Big Guy’s been hosting high-level basketball game with no female players.

First off, I’d like to know exactly who these “critics” are? They’re certainly no one really important, like Katie Curic. Apparently the criticism is coming mostly from women’s advocates and liberal bloggers in bunny slippers.

Terry O’Neill, the new president of NOW was unnecessarily harsh, saying:

"It’s extremely important now especially for the president to have as many women as men in his closest circle of advisors. ... If women had been at the heads of the companies on Wall Street instead of these masters of the universe then we might not be in the predicament that we’re in today." She says the ratio "needs to be 50/50.  Women are 52 percent of the voting public so obviously there needs to be 50/50 of any Cabinet."

I hope she’s not blaming BO for the economic melt down now.

Even Dee Dee felt compelled to weigh in!

“Women are Obama’s base, and they don’t seem to have enough people who look like the base inside of their own inner circle,” said Dee Dee Myers, a former press secretary in the Clinton administration…”

And then Kitty Sebelius had to point out that she had played college hoops, and would be glad to hit the court with the guys (she’s number 21).

kitty bball You can’t blame Big Guy for thinking she was a cheerleader: look at those uniforms!

And there is absolutely no truth that when BO shouted last week: “Instead of standing on the sidelines, why don’t you grab a mop?” that he was talking to the ladies watching him play B-ball with the boys.

Ladies, come on. Several points: First, Big Guy does not have to follow the same rules as the rest of the pols, or even the rest of the Democrats. He’s the first black post-racial, post partisan president, remember?

Secondly, as soon as this criticism hit the papers, BO took Melody Barnes, one of his aides, along on his Sunday round of golf. And, no, she wasn’t caddying.


And Third, if any of you honestly think Big Guy’s the one calling the shots around here, you couldn’t be more wrong.

mo hi res

Check out those biceps. That’s girl power, baby.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

FOX Bugs White House Over Flu Vaccine

Well, the rosy glow bouncing off the new portrait in the Green Room sure did fade quickly.

Big Guy barely had a chance to announce that Swine Flu is now a national emergency, before we start getting hounded by questions from the nosy people from that talk-radio format news network. They want to know why Sasha and Malia haven’t received the H1N1 flu shots yet. Didn’t Big Guy already explain that the girls are off limits? Back off, FOX, and leave our innocent little pawns alone.


Gibbsy’s in hot water though, for saying that the girls don’t “fit the risk profile.” That one’s a little hard for the best of our spin-meisters to finesse, as Kathleen Popeye Sebelius has been lecturing parents on why they simply must have their children vaccinated in order to avoid another Black Plague outbreak.

So now we’re going to have to send Gibbsy back out to apologize for speaking stupidly, and to correct his mis-misunderstanding. What he meant to say is that the President and Mrs. Obama’s children are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice by foregoing their doses of the swine flu vaccine in order to allow some more misfortunate children to receive it.


swine flu 

Ouch! Misfortunate indeed.

Besides, if the girls were to get the swine flu, we’ve got the best medical care on the planet. For now.

Greening Annie Leibovitz

Here’s our new  official First Family Portrait in the Green Room.President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama, and their daughters, Malia and Sasha, sit for a  family portrait in the Green Room of the White House, Sept. 1, 2009. (Official White House Photo)

Photo by Annie Leibovitz/Released by White House Photo Office

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House. 
It’s quite lovely, and done by the even lovelier (and famous!) Annie Leibovitz, although she has found herself in financial straits as of late. It’s absolutely not true that she was paid a $25 million stipend by the White House for this shoot. She’s getting that in a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.

I was present for the entire shoot. Not just to make sure that Lady M looked radiant (which she does, of course). No, I was a little more concerned about Annie’s reputation for being, well, shall we say edgy? Sometimes with these fashion-forward types, you just need to keep watch with a stern eye. Especially if there are children present.

But who else could we have do the official White House portrait? Annie has been deemed the photographer of iconic figures, and we are nothing if not iconic. Or is that ironic? I always mix those up.

Anyhoo – take a peek at some of Annie’s other artistic expression:


Well, I think you see why I felt the need to chaperone. Miley with her dad was bad enough, but a naked Harry Potter? Do we really need that? And what exactly is up with that “dark horse” comment?

Also noteworthy about the photo-shoot in the Green Room: Bo was banished from the official photo. Lady M and BO didn’t want him in the portrait, just in case he’s not, shall we say, “in the picture” for the long term. You know, because of his little “problem”.

Big Guy didn’t mind so much when he peed on Joey B’s leg, but the other day he left a big old turd sitting in the Oval. Even Big Guy could see the public relations nightmare that disclosure would generate. Especially over at FOX.