No not that Karl. I’m talking about Karl Lagerfeld – head designer at Chanel since 1983 and world famous fashion prostitute (“Just call me Karl Lablefeld”). Apparently he’s a big fan of the Wons. Here are his comments on whether Big Guy "deserves" to be re-elected:
Yes he does, especially because of Mrs. Obama. I'm a big fan of Mrs. Obama – and her face, I think, is magical.
He would not be there without her. There was an article by some stupid woman, I forgot who,[!] and she said she [Mrs. Obama] was poorly dressed.[!!] Mrs. Obama is not a fashion statement,[!!!] she has other things to do.
…My favorite line of Mrs. Obama is when a journalist asked her if she thought her skirts were not too tight and she answered, "Why you don't like my big black ass?"
This is a line I admire.
She got me with that.
Yep. That line always gets to everyone. Oh, and for the record:
Kristina Schake, Director of Communications to First Lady Michelle Obama released a statement regarding Lagerfeld's comment saying, "Mrs. Obama never made that statement."
Of course she didn’t. We never, ever, refer to, reflect on, or even mention Lady M’s “ass.” It speaks for itself.
Anyway, Karl has more to say:
So I want Mr. Obama who I think is very okay— because there is nothing better anyway — [to be re-elected], especially because of her."
We’re trying to decide how to use this important endorsement in our WTF campaign. Which do you like best?
We’re also working on a series of “Reelect Obama: He’s very okay” posters.
Anyway, it’s clear that Karl us. We Karl too. Lady M is even considering using him as a poster child in her No Child’s Fat Behind campaign. Did you know that Karl once had issues with his weight?
Before and after the 90 pound weight loss: he doesn’t look as happy anymore.
He now follows a very strict diet regime that Lady M is so totally on board with: no carbs, no fat, no sugary beverages…in fact he refuses to eat any food that doesn’t come from Nobu! Coincidentally, Nobu is a Lady M fave too! In fact, the Reelect Barack Obama site is now selling the Nobu cookbook! Wow! Looks like Karl is teaching the Wons “how to make crony capitalism work for you.”
In fact, Karl has been one of our behind the scenes advisors for a while now. The campaign drew heavily on his documentary “Karl Lagerfeld is Never Happy Anyway” in which the fashion world’s preeminent prostitute shared some of his secrets to his commercial success:
“I have no human feelings.”
…and on his dietary success:
“I am a sort of vampire, taking the blood of other people.”
You may see an empty suit, Karl sees a vampire
And while we can count on Karl’s support, it doesn’t look like we can count on his vote, since a) he’s not a U.S. citizen (not necessarily a non-starter), and b) he doesn’t believe in voting:
I never voted in my life. I will never vote. I know too much about politics from what’s going on backstage. To vote you have to believe all that garbage that they promise you, and they can’t keep those promises. If someone gave me an Obama pin, I would just put it on.
No time to cover it today, butt tomorrow: an update on Lady M’s Second Anniversary of her historic “Let’s Move” campaign.
H/T Gerard and RP
Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!