We’re scrapping the big Super Bowl party this year. Instead of celebrities from coast to coast and politicians form one side of the aisle to…well, one side of the aisle, we’ll just be enjoying the game as a family this year.
They plan to “watch the Super Bowl together as a family in their home,” a White House official told ABC News of the Obamas. No further explanation was given.
I don’t want to mislead you though. It’s not that we’re not having a Super Bowl Party (with a few close friends and family members who shall remain nameless because every time we mention “Eric Holder” any more, red flags go up), we sooo are. It’s just that Big Guy takes his football pretty seriously, and previous guests did not.
He got tired of schmoozing with the rude guests who found it perfectly acceptable to continue kibitzing even after the play action began. That’s a no-no. Football is a religion around here.
It used to be the only religion around here, butt that was before Big Guy discovered the power of Touchdown Jesus ® with a certain segment of the voting public.
I don’t think anyone should feel bad about not being invited to game day though, since being at the Big White for the Super Bowl may be like being on the cover of Sports Illustrated:
Soooo last year. I thought that one would be forever.
Big Guy isn’t picking a favorite (publically) butt he was relieved when the Patriots beat the Broncos. He was afraid that with Madonna doing the halftime show he might be pressured into “striking a pose” if that Tebow kid was playing.
Not that anyone is really religious around here, butt some were a little squeamish about actually letting Big Guy get down on one knee to “Tebow.” Since we are pandering to Christians now, there was quite a bit of discussion over whether this pose would be well received or not. Some thought it would play well to our new-found Christian constituency. Others advised against it, arguing that we should cover our bets and not invite God to strike us sorry. You know, just in case He does exist? And He is paying attention.
And when they saw the poll that said if the election were held today, Tim Tebow would be Tebowing all over Big Guy, they dropped the idea all together.
Butt we’re still not in the clear. Rumor has it that uber-hunky Tom Brady has political ambitions, is secretly an R-word AND obviously, a Patriot!
Worst of all, if the Patriots win, they’ll be invited to the Big White and Lady M will have to stand next to Giselle.
She can’t hold a candle to MO when it comes to going out for a long pass however:
You probably want to know what we’re serving for the big game. It’s probably pretty much what you’re having too: guac and dip. Only ours will be “You know nachos… [made with] fresh tomato sauce…on sort of a good quality tortilla." Also, burgers: Kobe of course. With bacon and foie gras. Hot dogs – gourmet. Pizza (not sure, butt I think we’re flying Wolfgang in to make some of those special Spago pies he’s so famous for)
And good news: there’s still time to get your official Obama Game-day party pack delivered by 4:00 pm EST! Coasters and official Joey B can holders for your adult malt beverage or delicious sugary soda! All for only a $15 donation to WTF 2012. Butt wait!!! There’s more. We’ll even throw in the first family’s famous chili recipe! The first family has never actually made it, butt it’s now historical.
Anyway, do NOT underestimate the importance of football in a Presidential election year. You do so at your own peril. It’s often the difference between a successful run…
and a fumble:
Because remember: in the liberal mind looking like a winner is pretty much the same thing as actually winning. See? Doesn’t BO look like a real Heisman trophy winner?
OFF TOPIC ALERT:
I know this is totally O/T, butt I have to tell you about the great news I got last night! I have been admitted as a proud member of the the People’s Cube’s Gulagosphere! Another historic first!
My nomination letter was sent just yesterday morning:
As the official Mirror Of The United States (MOTUS) in the most Socialist administration in American history, I believe I have earned a place in the Gulagosphere .
United in the struggle,
"We are on correct path comrades" (Vereteno)
Ok, so I nominated myself, butt as Little Mo is constantly reminding me, “if you don’t toot your own horn, who will?”
Anyhoo, I’m so giddy I could wet my pants, if I wore pants. I got my notification email at 9:07 PM EST last night. It reads:
You have done well, comrade Mirror!
MOTUS is now officially a proud member of the Gulagosphere. You can wear that badge with honor.
Warden of the United States (WOTUS)
So now I have a new badge over in my side bar on the “right.” I wonder if I will have to move it to the left side???
“We are on correct path comrades” (Vereteno)