Friday, June 22, 2012

Molsterman Report #1: DOJ’s Fast and Furiously Expanding Scandal

Since I introduced you to “Deep Quote” yesterday, I thought it might be fun to start today’s post with a fun quote from JoeyB.  I know, all of Joey’s quotes are fun – however this one is a real gem as he succinctly illustrates his own point:

"...microphones are always hot, and understand that in Washington, D.C., a gaffe is when you tell the truth. So, be careful."

It’s no wonder Washington is so obsessed with avoiding gaffes.

joey b four wordsForwards: Win Won Four the Gaffer

Anyway, I recently had the opportunity to sit down with “Deep Quote” - as he’s known to the rest of the world, or Little Mo as he’s known to the MOTUS community - to find out what he’s discovered about the DOJ Fast and Furious scandal so far. Our first interview was brief, as he’s still getting a lay of the land over at Justice:



And his tunnels haven’t yet met EPA and OSHA standards required to receive his permits:

3832_tunnel_safetyGovernment agency approved tunnel

Here’s the first of perhaps several installments of the Molesterman Report (h/t and apologies to the Ulsterman Report)


the molsterman report copy

MOTUS: So, what have you been able to dig up for my readers today Little Mo “Deep Quote?”

DQ: Well so far, all I’ve been able to determine while digging around here is that there are a whole lot of documents missing. No one willing to say exactly where they are, or what might have happened to them, but I can tell you there’s a new, large SEIU operation set up here.

MOTUS: What are you implying?

DQ: Nothing really. You’re smart enough to connect the dots for yourself. Last week a 150 member SEIU “storage” team showed up on site to “store” thousands of documents. And then, coincidentally, 10 new industrial strength shredders just showed up and they’re operating 24/7. I haven’t seen anything like this since ENRON.


MOTUS: So you think they’re destroying evidence related to Fast and Furious?

DQ: I didn’t say that did I? I’m just saying a whole s*#% load of documents have gone missing so far, we’re burning up the new shredders and garbage haulers are lined up around the clock and down the block. You tell me.


document management truckShred%20Day2

MOTUS: Well, have you gotten close enough to determine what the documents headed into the shredders contain?

DQ: Not yet. I’m still waiting to get my SEIU credentials. Until they come through, I can’t get within 20 feet of the “storage” operation.

SEIU-OWS-Marxism-Redefined1New SEIU membership cards: the Soprano edition

MOTUS: Maybe I can help, Big Guy knows all the top SEIU brass, I could have him pull a few strings.

DQ: No, don’t do that. Too dangerous. You don’t want to get your reflections anywhere near this crap, these people are not amateurs, like Big Guy.

MOTUS: OK. Butt what do you mean an “amateur, like Big Guy?”


DQ: Pulling that “Executive Privilege” stunt the other day - pure amateur hour.

MOTUS: How so?

DQ: Well, let’s just say that this has diverted a lot of attention away from DOJ’s vital top priority document “storage” operation. Now they’ve had to divert precious resources to work on the legal strategy for justifying executive privilege for withholding documents from Congress. Think about it: claiming executive privilege for documents that neither Big Guy nor Ricky know anything about, that contain information on things they are not doing, that may, never-the-less, come to light at a later date if we don’t get this document “storage”  operation kicked into high gear. It’s all just a big amateur s*#% sandwich. A pro would have had all these documents disappeared months ago, without any lingering evidence laying around.


MOTUS: I see your point. What happens next?

DQ: Can’t stay for sure, but I think I have to go underground for a few days to root around and see where all this leads. Don’t try to contact me, the cell service isn’t very good in the tunnels. I’ll contact you when I dig anything else up.

MOTUS: OK, Little Mo Deep Quote. Be careful down there.

DQ: Don’t worry about me, I’ve worked with rat holes like this in the past, and I know what I’m dealing with. It’s you that I’m worried about. I know you feel you have to reflect this, but be sure to put your refractors up so it doesn’t bounce back to you. The operatives: they’re the tailors that wove the magic thread that made the crisply creased slacks that send tingles up the legs of professionals. They are much, much smarter than the Amateur Emperor. So stay cloaked.

MOTUS: I understand. I’ll do my job.

Jan. 20, 2009
ÒPresident-elect Barack Obama was about to walk out to take the oath of office. Backstage at the U.S. Capitol, he took one last look at his appearance in the mirror.Ó
(Official White House photo by Pete Souza)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

(NOTE: My legal pack advises me that I should note that the above is not an actual interview butt rather a compressed composite of various figments of my imagination: like Julia and Big Guy’s autobiographies.)

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