Wednesday, May 12, 2010

When Snarks Attack: 6

This is a special edition of my world famous Snark Attack Awards. What’s special about it you ask? Well today I am proud to announce the first ever, and only ever, “Minister of Snark” Award.

This special award is given to the MOL who, in the opinion me and millions of other MOLs who have emailed or tweeted me, has succinctly and completely captured the Obot mindset in the fewest words possible:

“We are on correct path comrades”

Yes, the “Minister of Snark” is awarded to “vereteno”!!!!!

GF-snark minister-vereteno-AWARD

Congratulations vereteno, your contribution to snarkdom has now been officially immortalized forever. The coveted Golden FLOTUS is yours to keep and do with as you wish. It will be, for all eternity, here in my “Snark Hall of Fame”. So snark on comrade vereteno, snark on.

And now on to the big Sixth edition of “When Snarks Attack”. As usual, April was a big month for snarks. Like the old saying goes: April snarks, bring May ... uh ... um ... ???

I feel like Big Guy when TOTUS goes blank. All I can think of that rhymes is “Karl Marx” and I don’t think that works.

My super-secret nominating committee had a particularly tough time getting down to 10 finalists. In fact, they didn’t get down to 10 finalists. So this month, I am featuring a special “Daily Dozen Edition” of “When Snarks Attack”.

So without further delay and in alphabetical order, I present the nominations for the Golden FLOTUS, When Snarks Attack-6.

When Snarks Attack-6 Nominees

April, 2010

(comments may be edited by moi)

1. bettyann: “When Snarks Attack: 5”

Because, no matter what, a lady never EVER spills her ice.

2. chiron: “Hair Recovery Act of 2010”

I've heard of the Ruby Slippers, but the Grassy Clodhoppers? Now begone dear witch before someone drops a house on you too!

3. Cinderella: ”The Return of the Malaise” 

MOTUS, MOO needs to lose those goose poop green shoes. Can you hide them in the back of her closet?

4. Gerard: “Transforming America, One B-#%h at a Time”

It's clear to me that as long as the editors of Capitol File have faces Nancy will have a place to sit.

5. Janice: “Caboodle Jeans- Workplace Alert”

Yes, you are going to hell. However, the rest of us will be there with you. (and don't worry, because I'm an engineer, and I'll have those air conditioners up and working in no time)

6. Kathy N: “Bunker Post-1- The Big Chill-Hil”

... maybe her "killer'' workouts are working those toned arms moving her fork from her plate to her mouth...

7. Madame DeFarge: “Boodle Jeans”

You do realize that they will have to be special ordered through Omar, the tent maker don't you?

8. MiaZagora: “Barry and the Jets”

... What happened to No Child's Fat Behind? Hey - they're socialists. Why don't they just take the food away from the fat kids and give it to kids with low BMI's?...

9. Moright: “Singing in the Rain”

Are they all just taking the weekend off from hygiene and grooming? I don't think even Ditty would hire this posse...The national embarrassment tour continues.

10. PortiaElizabeth: “American IdOl- Do Kroners Come With That-“

... Heaven forbid, she would go one day without enough metallics to contact the space station.

11. Sine Qua Non: “C.S.I. Asheville”

... Mo-Mo the Angry Clown looks as though she can't wait ANOTHER MOMENT for her platter of vittles...

12. srdem65: “Oprah D-Oprah Redux”

... "If it zips, it fits".

Congratulations to this month’s worthy nominees and our new Minister of Snark, vereteno. The polls are now open and will remain open until 11:59 PM, Friday, May  14. As always, Chicago rules are in effect. Vote early, vote often.

May the Best Snark win, or at least get mouse-itis

Technorati Tags: ,,

trying.

at 12:14 PM

14 comments:

  1. Ohohohoh, such choices! How'm I ever gonna make up my mind? Throw darts? A blind poke at the screen with my eyes shut? Throw numbers on the floor, toss a blanket over my head and grope mindlessly along the floor?

    Kinda how our USA policy is being decided nowadays, don't we all think?

    Power to all entries!
    ReplyDelete
  2. MOTUS, You must be elated to be home to so many snarkettes! Yours are the snarkiest of snarks. Good luck to all the contestants!
    ReplyDelete
  3. Congrats to vereteno, Minister of Snark, Czar of the Zinger, Speaker of Truth in Fashion and the best MOL!
    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, so many good snarks!
    Vereteno -- kudos to you on your coveted ministry position! With this group you'll need to watch your back lest someone plot to take it. I won't name any names, but there are quite a few anonymouses if you know what i mean.

    srdem65 -- I just love that quote "If it zips it fits"! I'd love to order some MOTUS gear with that on it. Would you mind? (It does after all belong to you.)

    My MOTUS mugs came today and they are fabulous! I'll be drinking tea this PM. It's a special blend -- not bitter, but strong and full of surprises, especially for incumbents.
    ReplyDelete
  5. Indeed! Congratulations to Vereteno who really knows what Baby Doc has in mind for the USA. We are forewarned. Thanks.

    My lovely mug came yesterday as well. I might even have tea rather than a martini tonight.

    MOTUS, you gave us really hard choices this time...how do we decide?
    ReplyDelete
  6. MOTUS,
    Aw shucks. Thanks for considering me.

    Congrats to Vereteno.

    And finally..my MOTUS mugs were delivered in record time. Love, love, love them!
    ReplyDelete
  7. My friends from the PECAN group are wondering if the Chicago Rules apply to the voting here like they do in Illinois. They promised to vote for me if I approved some TARP funds to protect their branches and assured them that only SEIU-approved non-criminal illegal aliens would be used to CAP and TRADE the harvest.
    ReplyDelete
  8. Motus,
    This is off topic, but has to get out there. You must contact Hub. One of planet Jupiter's belts is missing. Can anyone say Michelle? She has run out of holes in all her boob belts and has now stooped so low as to take one of Jupiter's. She must be stopped. Next it will be one of Saturn's rings to encompass her fat belly.
    Cherie
    ReplyDelete
  9. CricketGal:

    Ronnie, both Georges and sometimes even Bill used to pray when faced with tough choices. But now that we’ve made our historic “CHANGE”, we use chicken bones when we need help from beyond. I don’t know if they really help or not, but Big Guy seems to enjoy “prepping” the bones from Popeye’s.

    In our little election, remember Chicago rules apply.

    Madame:

    Thrilled is not a strong enough word. I have the best snark posse the world has ever known.

    srdem:

    You are sooo right, vereteno more than deserves the title.

    “Speaker of Truth to Fashion”! I like that one.

    Portia:

    I know what you mean about the “anonymice”, but Raj’s encrypted firewall keeps Toes and other O-Team enforcers from getting into our little corner of the ether.

    Thank you soooo much for making my little venture into capitalist pigdom a big success. I am sooo glad you like your mugs. I’m sure your “tea” will taste delicious in them.

    Madame:

    Oh Madame, a big capitalist pig “Oink” of thanks to you too. I am sooo glad you like your mugs.

    How to decide? Remember, Chicago rules are in effect, so you don’t have to decide if you don’t want to. Vote early, vote often for as many as you like.

    Cinderella:

    “Considering” you?

    Girl you are in the “show”.

    Get out the vote!

    Play to your base!

    And remember, Chicago rules are in effect. Vote early, vote often.

    And a big “Oink” of thanks to you. You guys are making my little private sector venture “too big to fail”. Toxic Tim is asking me for a balance sheet.

    srdem:

    Good luck to you and your friends from the PECAN group. Yes, Chicago rules do indeed apply. I am sure that you could apply TARP funds for any SEIU use, including your voter incentive. However, I’m not sure the “non-criminal” provision will be judged as constitutional, especially after Ellie gets her caboose on the bench. It seems to unfairly single out “criminals” for discrimination, which is contrary to our Team’s historic sense of fairness.

    Oh, and what do you think about Portia’s idea of adding the “if it zips, it fits” to the product line?

    Cherie:

    OMG, OMG, OMG!!!

    I had not heard about Jupiter’s missing belt. I can state for the record that Lady M would never “stoop so low as to take one of Jupiter’s belts” without a full eminent domain hearing, demonstration of “public use” (that’s a lay down) and payment of fair market value. MO used to be an Ivy League lawyer so she knows this stuff inside and out.

    That said, I’m going to get Hub on this immediately. I like Saturn’s rings right where they are. Thanks for the heads up.
    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry to be late with response. Just got back from the mission impossible - launching into the space 2(two) biped projects accompanied by 2(two) quadruped projects.

    Now – pot belly sucked in, fat behind tucked under, military salute, voice full of reverence and metal:
    “At the Service of MOTUS and MOL’s. I solemnly swear my allegiance to our common cause and promise not to betray the trust of my comrades.”

    I humbly accept this award and dedicate it to MOTUS and all the Snarks. Without your daily support and encouragement, I would never be able to fulfill my snark duty.
    This is our common achievement, as it should be in Socialist World where only common good exists and no personal achievements should be promoted.

    Thank you, thank you, and thank you!
    ReplyDelete
  11. vereteno:

    As your MOL comrades here and the millions of emails I received have said, you are totally and absolutely our Minister of Snark. You have snarked the perfect summation of all that my historic boss and his mindless Obots stand for:

    “We Are On Correct Path Comrades”

    So I say unto you, as I have said unto all the Golden FLOTUS winners who preceded you, congratulations! Please enjoy your Golden FLOTUS and display it as you wish: it is yours to keep. You are now permanently ensconced in my coveted Snark Hall of Fame where you will receive the MOL’s fame and ovation forever.

    With your permission, I would be honored to add your words of wise warning “We Are On Correct Path Comrades” to my now world famous, and becoming “too big to fail”, MOTUS Boutique product line.
    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes indeed, Motus, regarding the missing belts of Saturn - - from Drudge's mouth to my ear. I knew if anyone would heed a call to arms, it would be you and Hub.

    I realize you must maintain a certain level of loyalty, but having been an attorney and a Chicago one at that, Ms. MO would know ways to circumvent any formalities and legalities and just take the damn belt.

    Cherie
    ReplyDelete
  13. Congratulations to vereteno! I have often quoted your snark. MOTUS, it would make a fabulous tee shirt motif!
    ReplyDelete
  14. Cherie:

    I have Hub investigating now and will report back when he's done. In the meantime, I have posted a breaking news headline announcing your finding.

    bettyann:

    It would be a great addition to the product line. I'm waiting for vereteno's answer. Also waiting for srdem65's answer on "if it zips, it fits".
    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)