Wednesday, May 12, 2010

When Snarks Attack: 6

This is a special edition of my world famous Snark Attack Awards. What’s special about it you ask? Well today I am proud to announce the first ever, and only ever, “Minister of Snark” Award.

This special award is given to the MOL who, in the opinion me and millions of other MOLs who have emailed or tweeted me, has succinctly and completely captured the Obot mindset in the fewest words possible:

“We are on correct path comrades”

Yes, the “Minister of Snark” is awarded to “vereteno”!!!!!

GF-snark minister-vereteno-AWARD

Congratulations vereteno, your contribution to snarkdom has now been officially immortalized forever. The coveted Golden FLOTUS is yours to keep and do with as you wish. It will be, for all eternity, here in my “Snark Hall of Fame”. So snark on comrade vereteno, snark on.

And now on to the big Sixth edition of “When Snarks Attack”. As usual, April was a big month for snarks. Like the old saying goes: April snarks, bring May ... uh ... um ... ???

I feel like Big Guy when TOTUS goes blank. All I can think of that rhymes is “Karl Marx” and I don’t think that works.

My super-secret nominating committee had a particularly tough time getting down to 10 finalists. In fact, they didn’t get down to 10 finalists. So this month, I am featuring a special “Daily Dozen Edition” of “When Snarks Attack”.

So without further delay and in alphabetical order, I present the nominations for the Golden FLOTUS, When Snarks Attack-6.

When Snarks Attack-6 Nominees

April, 2010

(comments may be edited by moi)

1. bettyann: “When Snarks Attack: 5

Because, no matter what, a lady never EVER spills her ice.

2. chiron: “Hair Recovery Act of 2010

I've heard of the Ruby Slippers, but the Grassy Clodhoppers? Now begone dear witch before someone drops a house on you too!

3. Cinderella: ”The Return of the Malaise” 

MOTUS, MOO needs to lose those goose poop green shoes. Can you hide them in the back of her closet?

4. Gerard: “Transforming America, One B-#%h at a Time

It's clear to me that as long as the editors of Capitol File have faces Nancy will have a place to sit.

5. Janice: “Caboodle Jeans- Workplace Alert

Yes, you are going to hell. However, the rest of us will be there with you. (and don't worry, because I'm an engineer, and I'll have those air conditioners up and working in no time)

6. Kathy N: “Bunker Post-1- The Big Chill-Hil

... maybe her "killer'' workouts are working those toned arms moving her fork from her plate to her mouth...

7. Madame DeFarge: “Boodle Jeans

You do realize that they will have to be special ordered through Omar, the tent maker don't you?

8. MiaZagora: “Barry and the Jets

... What happened to No Child's Fat Behind? Hey - they're socialists. Why don't they just take the food away from the fat kids and give it to kids with low BMI's?...

9. Moright: “Singing in the Rain

Are they all just taking the weekend off from hygiene and grooming? I don't think even Ditty would hire this posse...The national embarrassment tour continues.

10. PortiaElizabeth: “American IdOl- Do Kroners Come With That-

... Heaven forbid, she would go one day without enough metallics to contact the space station.

11. Sine Qua Non: “C.S.I. Asheville

... Mo-Mo the Angry Clown looks as though she can't wait ANOTHER MOMENT for her platter of vittles...

12. srdem65: “Oprah D-Oprah Redux

... "If it zips, it fits".

Congratulations to this month’s worthy nominees and our new Minister of Snark, vereteno. The polls are now open and will remain open until 11:59 PM, Friday, May  14. As always, Chicago rules are in effect. Vote early, vote often.

May the Best Snark win, or at least get mouse-itis

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