Tuesday, April 20, 2010

When Snarks Attack: 5

It’s Ba-ack! Yup, as I promised, my world famous Golden FLOTUS Award contest is back and better than ever. Isn’t everything that comes back better than ever?

GOLDEN FLOTUS-hall of fame small copy

Well, as you know, it’s been a while since my last big contest in February. And, as always, there have been goodles of great snarks posted. I can resume my Golden FLOTUS Awards because Big Guy finally released my super-secret nominating committee from their Obamacare Congressional bribery get-out-the-vote duties. I don’t know how long I’ll have them, or how much of their time I will get. Big Guy reminded me that he has ordered that a Bank Bailout/Take-Over 2 Financial Regulatory Reform bill be “on my desk” by the end of the month. Then we’ve got Cap & Tax Trade, SEIU Card Required Check, Comprehensive Amnesty Immigration Reform, VAT and a whole bunch of other “crisis” related stuff to get done. And, thanks to the haters in the Tea Party, we’ve probably only got until November.

But, enough Inside baseball stuff, on with the show.

As always, there were many, many snarks that I feel bad about not having in the finals. I wish all your snarks could win. But, as we all know, in the real world, everybody doesn’t win ... even if you are all winners in my book.

And now, in alphabetical order (for you trolls that means words that begin with  a, then b, then c, etc.) the nominations for the Golden FLOTUS, When Snarks Attack-5:

When Snarks Attack-5 Nominees

March, 2010

(comments may be edited by moi)

1. Amy"Is This an Easter Miracle?"

It's totally Karl Marx. Maybe it's an editorial comment from the cover layout designer person. "Help! I'm a conservative trapped at Newsweek!"

2. Anonymous: How High?


3. bettyann: Michelle Obama: FLOTUS, Over-Achiever ...

MOTUS, if she's showing cleavage, don't forget to remind her majesty to wax her chest.


4. Funky Town: Scary Movie Night

Well I'm wondering why a woman with a butt that ate Cincinnati thinks she can talk to the rest of the country about how to eat!

5. Lynn: Big White Tea Party Today

I can so see MO in the "border" outfit. Skirt short enough to show thigh, enough roominess to wear two belts (one boob, one not), thigh high black boots (she has a pair) to match the manly style shades and hat. And, it will go so well with the nunchucks (my personal favorite).

6. Madame DeFarge: Big White Tea Party Today

I certainly did my best on voting the Chicago way for Nutchucks, MOTUS. A lesson for the future...vote earlier as well as often.

7. Mrs. P : How High?

MOTUS, I know that you're The Mirror but maybe, just maybe some Windex is in order. That's not a wife beater. It's a training bra.

8. PortiaElizabeth: Is This an Easter Miracle?

I saw that image and, what with my cold and all, thought of the Smith Brothers. Or could it be a salute to ZZ Top? "She's got legs. She knows how to use 'em..."

9. Suzette: Is This an Easter Miracle?

I am more concerned that she's letting her "angry eyebrows" grow back in.

10. vereteno : The Phoebe Effect

We are on correct way, comrades!

The polls are open now and will remain open until 11:59 PM, Friday, April 23rd.” As always, Chicago rules” are in effect. Vote early, vote often.

May the Best Snark win.

PS. Has anyone heard from Vereteno? She hasn’t checked in since Obamacare passed, and, as you may recall, she was very depressed about the U.S. turning into the old U.S.S.R. We may need to send out a search party. After all, who better to snark on our comrades in the Big White than someone who’s been down that road. Come back Vereteno!

PPS. Just so you know: due to budget cuts (until we get the VAT) Big Guy cut all Big White polls back to monthly from our previous weekly schedule. But I’ve already cached tons of really snarky April comments for next month’s contest. And there are lots of new nominees coming up!