Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Phoebe Effect

Did you see the article in the WSJ today about the “Phoebe Effect”?


They tricked me too, because it wasn’t about that Phoebe.

Phoebe Buffay: No “Smelly Cats” in Big White, But Bo Has Been Known to Squeeze a Mouse Now and Then

But I’m glad they tricked me, because it was a really important article about another really important Phoebe: Phoebe Philo. It’s a little creepy, because there is an incredible, karmic symmetry going on here that you’ll see as we go along.


For those of you living in caves in Kabul - and I know you read my blog too - Phoebe Philo, PP as we in the industry call her, is a fab Brit fashion designer who made her chops at the top shelf French fashion house, Chloe. There, she single handedly created the gigunda-mous hit, the “Paddington Bag.”

padington bag

World Famous Paddington Bag: Could Serve As A “Lock Box”

With that success in her pocketbook, PP vanished from the show to “spend time with her family”. Yeah. Then, coinciding almost exactly with the start of our historic installation as the ruler leader of the free world, LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton SA (LVMH) lured PP back to “transform” their struggling, “might as well be sold in Wal-Mart” French fashion house, Celine. See? She was installed to “transform” their image, just like Big Guy was installed to transform America’s? Kind of creepy-karmic.

Now you aren’t going to believe what Celine did next, but it’s in the WSJ, which is owned by the parent company of FOX News, and we know those trolls wouldn’t distort the truth no matter how important it is to our agenda. LVHM and PP literally DESTROYED everything that was there before PP arrived, at a ginormous cost!!! Just because they didn’t like anything there, and wanted to start over.

That’s EXACTLY what Big Guy and Congress are doing! I’m telling you, it’s just karmic!!!

So, as PP transforms Celine, Big Guy and Congress transform America, and MO transforms fat kids, I decided to transform Lady M’s closet – also at ginormous cost.

Now don’t get all wee-weed up. We are still committed to our belts, brooches, 3-sizes-too-small sweaters, upholstery fabrics and right-2-bare-arms, but we need a little something extra to mark our first, second year. And I think I saw what we were looking for in PP’s runway lineup.

I got the idea originally from a commenter at American Digest, where Gerard was sooo kind to link up my “Boob Belt Fever” trailer. Big Guy gave me a stimulus grant for making the movie, because he did find it stimulating, and “it saved 2 jobs”. I’m not sure whose, but I guess Desi’s wasn’t one of them. However, since my ethics module was programmed during the Reagan administration and hasn’t been updated since (no one else seemed that concerned with my ethics program), I’m not allowed to accept pork. So I’m sending it on to Gerard as a little gratuity for the “product placement.” Don’t spend it all at Starbucks, sweetie.


Anyway, the commenter suggested that Condi Rice might be able to “help” us choose the type of outfit to pair with our “semi-heavy metal studded black belts”. I scanned my hard drives and found the pictures from Wiesbaden he was talking about:

CONDI-1b.jpg copy

condi-2b copy

Condi wore this in Wiesbaden...Really...

I remember thinking at the time “Wow” then “Yikes!”. Who ever thought Condi could look that hot? Or that powerful? Mo is going to like this.

So that set us on this search which led us back to PP: and again the stars aligned: here’s what she put on the runway yesterday for Celine:

Céline's utilitarian, military pieces have swayed retailers to stock the lineIt’s even got a belt!!! Worn a smidge too low, but Wow!!!

Great start PP, but for Lady M, I’m probably going to double down on the belts and studs. You know, balance everything out.

neo-mo copyNeo-MO Strikes a pose

And now for accessories. What do you think: whip, nunchucks, or light saber?