Did you see the article in the WSJ today about the “Phoebe Effect”?
They tricked me too, because it wasn’t about that Phoebe.
Phoebe Buffay: No “Smelly Cats” in Big White, But Bo Has Been Known to Squeeze a Mouse Now and Then
But I’m glad they tricked me, because it was a really important article about another really important Phoebe: Phoebe Philo. It’s a little creepy, because there is an incredible, karmic symmetry going on here that you’ll see as we go along.
For those of you living in caves in Kabul - and I know you read my blog too - Phoebe Philo, PP as we in the industry call her, is a fab Brit fashion designer who made her chops at the top shelf French fashion house, Chloe. There, she single handedly created the gigunda-mous hit, the “Paddington Bag.”
World Famous Paddington Bag: Could Serve As A “Lock Box”
With that success in her pocketbook, PP vanished from the show to “spend time with her family”. Yeah. Then, coinciding almost exactly with the start of our historic installation as the ruler leader of the free world, LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton SA (LVMH) lured PP back to “transform” their struggling, “might as well be sold in Wal-Mart” French fashion house, Celine. See? She was installed to “transform” their image, just like Big Guy was installed to transform America’s? Kind of creepy-karmic.
Now you aren’t going to believe what Celine did next, but it’s in the WSJ, which is owned by the parent company of FOX News, and we know those trolls wouldn’t distort the truth no matter how important it is to our agenda. LVHM and PP literally DESTROYED everything that was there before PP arrived, at a ginormous cost!!! Just because they didn’t like anything there, and wanted to start over.
That’s EXACTLY what Big Guy and Congress are doing! I’m telling you, it’s just karmic!!!
So, as PP transforms Celine, Big Guy and Congress transform America, and MO transforms fat kids, I decided to transform Lady M’s closet – also at ginormous cost.
Now don’t get all wee-weed up. We are still committed to our belts, brooches, 3-sizes-too-small sweaters, upholstery fabrics and right-2-bare-arms, but we need a little something extra to mark our first, second year. And I think I saw what we were looking for in PP’s runway lineup.
I got the idea originally from a commenter at American Digest, where Gerard was sooo kind to link up my “Boob Belt Fever” trailer. Big Guy gave me a stimulus grant for making the movie, because he did find it stimulating, and “it saved 2 jobs”. I’m not sure whose, but I guess Desi’s wasn’t one of them. However, since my ethics module was programmed during the Reagan administration and hasn’t been updated since (no one else seemed that concerned with my ethics program), I’m not allowed to accept pork. So I’m sending it on to Gerard as a little gratuity for the “product placement.” Don’t spend it all at Starbucks, sweetie.
Anyway, the commenter suggested that Condi Rice might be able to “help” us choose the type of outfit to pair with our “semi-heavy metal studded black belts”. I scanned my hard drives and found the pictures from Wiesbaden he was talking about:
Condi wore this in Wiesbaden...Really...
I remember thinking at the time “Wow” then “Yikes!”. Who ever thought Condi could look that hot? Or that powerful? Mo is going to like this.
So that set us on this search which led us back to PP: and again the stars aligned: here’s what she put on the runway yesterday for Celine:
It’s even got a belt!!! Worn a smidge too low, but Wow!!!
Great start PP, but for Lady M, I’m probably going to double down on the belts and studs. You know, balance everything out.
Neo-MO Strikes a pose
And now for accessories. What do you think: whip, nunchucks, or light saber?
18 comments:
OMG Motus! That last picture scared the heebie-jeebies RIGHT OUT OF ME!
Those poor little germies in my bronchial passages had no chance against the 'woman in black' with the black look!
Yikes ~ I think we need some sort of warning like the FReepers do when someone posts a Helen Thomas thread with photos attached! You know Helen of course, the doyenne (read gargoyle) of the WH press corps. They label them 'graphic images' *laughing*
Thanks for sending me off to nightmare land MOTUS .... but I still lubs ya!
I chose the Light Sabre so that she can point out the fat kids who will crush our economy with their fat behinds.
She will lead the way with saving the planet by wearing Glad garbage bags, accented with recycled auto parts.
Lead on, MO!
I chose whip because of it's versatility. She'll never need to deploy it because - come on!- who is going to provoke her with or without a weapon in her hand? But it can do extra duty by wrapping around her wrist for that multi-bracelet look she favors or rolled up and attached to her lapel, it can blend in with her other signature brooches. If she really feels the need to demonstrate its potential, she can use it to harvest some WH garden arugula with just a flick of the wrist.
Good morning MOTUS and MOLs!! I missed you all very much, but now the modem is fixed. I am looking forward to catching up on all the snarks I have missed, plus snarking it up a little myself!!
I'll be back.
My eyes, my eyes!(gack)
Chose nunchuks, they just seemed so appropriate and fit the expression on MO's face.
Word of caution: Funky Town, hide the above picture from your little sister...
I voted for nunchucks, having misread it as "nutchucks" which I'm positive Big (Racist) MO already owns and keeps under the mattress...thereby saving a bit of cash for more boots...or now that Spring is just around the corner...new $600 trainers.
The thought of B(R)MO having a whip, nutchucks OR a light saber just may send me shopping for a cute little Baretta and a membership in "Babes with Bullets"...you may remember dear Nancy Reagan kept a purse size pearl handle pistol. She may have felt somewhat insecure after Ronnie was shot and now that the congressional critters, Chuckie and Lindsay, are suggesting a National ID Card (do you doubt they will put a GPS chip in them?) I'm feeling a little vulnerable myself. The idea of their being able to track us down inside SFA or Neimans! Have they no shame?
We are on correct way, comrades!
This is exactly the style of fashion favored by Russian Revolutionaries 90 years ago. Just for poverty they used felted wool instead of high grade leather.
As for accessories it was very fashionable back then to have a particular style of hat - called Budyonovka. Look here: http://tinyurl.com/ydwgww5
The text is in Russian, but there is a picture of Leon Trotsky wearing full attire (men's goes without belt) with Budyonovka as accessory. All together it seems very appropriate.
By the way my Grandma the Tailor was so infatuated with Leon Trotsky at the time she wore his portrait on her stocking garter (poor women back then didn't have pantyhose and it was unthincable to go out without stocking).
That stare of hers looks like she can use the "Force Choke" on someone.
MOTUS-- thank you for posting that runway pic!! I've been looking for my car's floor mats ever since I had it detailed and now I know where they went. Who'd have thought an old Volvo could be wearing Paris fashion?
The MO pic is scary, but that trillion-dollar bill gave me chills. Why does anyone think he's attractive? Look at him. He has a head shaped like candy corn.
Hey, Bettyann! Welcome back. We were beginning to wonder if you'd taken your award and hit the road.
OH! All the delicious snarks. Such a feast! Kind of like brown cannoles at WH State diner, only in spiked heels with little boiled Gibsey's in the middle.
MOTUS, I really love the bottom dominoe belt paired with the upper prison bars look - very appropro, considering what might happen with Obama Care. Love the jack boots too - perfect for stomping little people and castroti alike.
"sniff"
Portia Elizabeth: Thank you for missing me, dear. It did seem so and I considered running with the goods, but missed you all very much and so could not wait to get on line again.
Note to self; never place modem on floor during cleaning house where husband in big boots steps. And that's all I have to say about that.
Yes, indeed. We were concerned, bettyann and missed your Royal Snarkiness.
"He has a head shaped like candy corn."
ROFL
I was thinking he's more like a
peanut head.
Hello MOLs & FOMs, my name is Raj:
I report to you today that relief & joy has returned to my heart, seeing my nerd magic Honors Graduate, bettyann appear once again on MOTUS' blog.
Fears had gripped me as we know of your choices to enjoy beverage martinis and large motorized bicycles. Not at the same moment of course we hope. Never did I suppose absence could be from a failed modem dissappointment.
Thank you for permitting me to express my relief here in MOTUS' MOL & FOM snark room, even as my note is contributed without this groups customary snarkiness.
Raj
Raj,
What a sweetie you are.
MOTUS,
Definitely the whip, a big bull whip.
How do Raj. Never fear that I would imbibe and ride that red dragon at the same time!! I tried it just once, and forwith did not put down the kick stand. We both fell over with large question marks above our heads, remembering that only the utterly sober should ride, and live to tell the story.
Speaking of the beloved Martinae - do try this: press a couple of cukes out of their juice, and use in place of the vermouth. Get a couple of slices back in there to take up the slack, squeeze in a chunk of lemon, and add a cherry tomato for effect. Add 1 1/2 shots of a fine potato vodka (we must eat our vegetables, like mother said!) Pour over crushed ice. There you have it: a BA 52 Bomber.
BettyAnn ~ Welcome back! I wondered if something had happened to you and g-mailed you hoping against hope that you hadn't abandoned us here! Sorry about the modem *ugh*
Had to share this store from Glamour mag:
http://www.glamour.com/fashion/blogs/slaves-to-fashion/2010/03/a-designers-dream-comes-true-m.html
It shows the dress that MO wore when she went to the ceremony at the Smithsonian to dedicate her wet toilet tissue inagural gown ~ oh! I mean when she went to donate her lovely, one of a kind designer inagural gown *whew fixed that one*.
Raj it was so kind of you to welcome BA back! We've all missed her so! Welcome back hon.
Thanks Funky! I haven't cleaned up my mail box yet, I'm dreading it actually. The importance of the mailbox pales next to keeping up with my fellow snarkettes.
Watched the video on your link. Very interesting. I fully expected that fuzzy Chinese thing in the background to be hers, too. Maybe the curator was too embarrassed to admit it. The Ruskie hat would look stunning on her nappy head in that get up! All it needs is a sweater and a belt - voila.
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