Monday, March 8, 2010

More Body Scanners In: The G-Block

Welcome to my brand spankin’ new feature, The G-Block. Yea, I know Ruppert the Rude used the name first on FOX News with that hunky Shep Smith. But now it’s mine.
The idea for this new feature was first suggested by one of you loyal MOLs. A couple of weeks ago, Cinderella wrote:
“In listening to 0 and Mrs. 0 I note their habit of dropping the "g" at the end of every word that ends in "ing". In honor of this obvious attempt to endear themselves to us as "just regular folks" I propose you designate a "Droppin' Your Gs Day" here at your site...”
I have the best MOL posse in the whole world. Not only is it goin’ to be big fun, but it will give you a better sense of what it’s like bein’ right here with the O’s. Do you see where we’re goin’?
So here are the rules:
  1. In the G-Block, any word with the suffix “ing” MUST be spelled “in’”. This is in honor of the articulate speech pattern of our POTUS and FLOTUS who are in the habit of sayin’ thin’s that way. I guess so folks can relate. I’m havin’ sooo much fun already.
  2. In the G-Block, we don’t ask questions, we “ax” them.
  3. Finally, in the G-Block, we don’t encourage your comments, we encourage “yer” comments.

That’s all there is to it. For now. Oh, and in honor of Big Guy’s historically articulate nonfluencies,  all “uhh”s, and  “um”s receive extra credit.

TOTUS has been doin’ this from the beginnin’ and he says Gibbsy never caught on. I’ll be lookin’ closely at comments in the G-Block so be on yer toes.

Ok, go here we go. My first post in the G-Block:


Just What We Need: More Body Scanners

Most of you know about my special, secret powers of trans-imagin’, that allow me to alter the appearance of people and thin’s (if not, here’s a quickie review). You have also seen (although rarely) here and on other blogs - and probably on FOX News - examples of the limits of my powers.

cripes suzette shotPhoto from that naughty Cripes Suzette

As an aside, I’d like to take this opportunity to pass along a big huggy to Andrea Mitchell and Chucky Todd over at super supportive Ms.NBC: “Thank You SOOO Much.”  You make my job of protectin’ the American people from this type of unpleasant imagery so much easier. Totally the opposite of those trolls at FOX News who actually seem to believe that people want to see objective, unvarnished reality. I don’t think so - if that were true, how do you explain our big win in ‘08???

Anyway, back to my original point. You’ve probably heard that Bruno is orderin’ the deployment of those nasty body scanners to all major airports. But you probably didn’t hear that she is also orderin’ that they be used at all future Big White fundraiser and arm twistin’ official functions. You know which ones I’m talkin’ about, the ones that x-ray through yer clothes and reveal all yer body parts and details. As if I don’t already have enough to worry about.

Bruno doesn’t want her bread to land butter-side down again, so she is orderin’ review of my request for a circuit upgrade which would enable me to trans-image body scanner displays.

At this point it looks like I’m goin’ to get it (the money is in the Unemployment “Jobs” bill that Big Guy just signed) but I’m not takin’ any chances. I want to back up my request with poll results showin’ the American people are on my side. So, once again I’m comin’ to my Gazillions of MOLs and axin’ for yer help.

Please vote in my poll early and often. This time, Toes helped me set up the vote count server “Chicago style” so I’m pretty sure I’ll get the results I want, and America needs.

For this poll, Lady M and I had a little run through at our new Big White body scanner. We wore our absolutely favorite belt over one of our white blouses, a nice sweater and a lamp shade. I bet it’s won of yer favorite outfits too.

practice mo

If ye’re lucky enough to be far sighted, you might want to take off yer glasses for the harsh reality of the next photo of the un-retouched body scanner image:






mo scanner-2-fig leaves copy

Un-retouched FOX News style photo of body scanner image

POLL Photo 1


Ok. If ye’re still with me, I think you will agree that we all need to have this circuit upgrade installed:

mo transim-1-with belt-fig leaf

Same MO, same belt, same body scanner trans-imaged with

circuit upgrade MOTUS axed for

POLL Photo 2