Monday, April 19, 2010

Oprah D-Oprah Redux

You remember the unfortunate Oprah D-Oprah cover incident don’t you?

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That was back when Lady M and Oprah were feuding over whose fault the embarrassing Copenhagen Olympic rejection was. Oprah was really torqued off because she doesn’t like to attach her brand to Epic Fails (the O’s might want to explore this aversion a bit.) But since Big Guy told her that the Olympic bid  “was in the bag”  she assumed that he had done his part to ensure that the goon squad had made all the proper payments. Big Guy, though, thinking that since he Won, we didn’t have to pay. Boy, talk about being naive!

But I think that’s finally behind us. Oprah has decided that – even though she’s the most fabulously wealthy woman in the whole world – it’s still good to have friends in high places. And she’s starting to figure out, after the Diplomacy Czarina tour,lovely blue floral

that this O-regime is going for an endless dynasty, like they do in South America.

So, Oprah sent over a boxed set of the not-yet-released Discovery channel’s HD DVD “Life” series that she narrated. Since we didn’t have anything else planned yesterday, thinking we’d be in Poland for President Lech Kaczynski’s funeral, we decided to have an unscheduled movie night. We had to wait for Big Guy to get back from his unscheduled golf game, honoring the memory of President Kaczynski’s tragic death. Did you know that this made 32 rounds of golf for Big Guy in his not quite 15 months in office? I only mention this because it indicates the great balance BO manages to work into his life. Especially compared to GWB, who only managed 24 rounds in his entire 8 years! Talk about transformational.


So, we’re going to let bygones be bygones. We got our extra-buttered popcorn, Good’n Plentys and settled in to watch Oprah navigate the natural world.  After all, there’s more that joins us together than pulls us apart. For example, in addition to us all being African Americans from Chicago, there’s the fact that Lady M and Oprah share the same fabulous Chicago-based stylist: 

 TV Oprah

But I digress. Here’s my review of the nature series: if you get this DVD set for Mothers or Fathers Day, you should definitely watch it with the sound off.  Alternatively, don’t open it and exchange it for the BBC version narrated by David Attenborough. Here’s the bottom line: for a woman who made her fortune - and I mean $fortune$ - with her big fat yap, you’d think she’d be better at reading. Oh, I suppose it isn’t all that bad, if you don’t mind being talked down to by a second grade teacher. But why would you want to waste all the beautiful photography with such patronizing, trite, over-heated babble? Don’t we already have enough of that around here?

You can check out the video yourself, if you’re feeling up to it.