Saturday, May 15, 2010

When Snarks Attack 6: The Winner

It’s in the history books now. Setting a modern day record with more than 5 million votes cast, the winner of the coveted Golden FLOTUS in When Snarks Attack: 6 is . . . “Gerard”!!!

Congratulations Gerard!!! You have won the fame and ovation of millions of MOLs and FOMs around the world and a permanent place in my Snark Hall of Fame.

Gerard’s winning snark "It's clear to me that as long as the editors of Capitol File have faces Nancy will have a place to sit." carried the day and achieved snark immortality.

The cherished Golden FLOTUS is now yours forever, to use and display as you wish.

gerard Golden Flotus-final

It was a horse race right down to the wire. My team of ACORN vote counters were up all night. Moments ago Toes certified the results and offered his compliments to Gerard; “It was Chicago style machine politics at its best. He mobilized his base, provided the right mix of voter incentives and got out the vote.”

Congratulations to Janice; you went down swinging girl (I hope you’ll still get those air conditioners working when we get to hell). And congratulations to all the “runners up” and all my loyal, snarky FOMs and MOLs. You are all winners in my book, even if you don’t all get a statue.

For the record, the final vote count was certified by Toes after review of the audited results by the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe. The results were as follows:

  1. Gerard – 1,390,000
  2. Janice – 1,160,00
  3. srdem65 – 810,000
  4. Moright – 290,000
  5. MiaZagora – 280,000
  6. Sine Qua Non – 270,000
  7. PortiaElizabeth – 230,000
  8. bettyann – 180,000
  9. Cinderella – 170,000
  10. Kathy N – 160,000
  11. Madame DeFarge – 140,000
  12. chiron – 90,000

In a special shout out to srdem and vereteno, we have received requests to immortalize your snarks “if it zips, it fits” and “we are on correct path comrades” from MOLs who would like to have “tea” mugs so inscribed. What do you think?