I guess we owed Fancy Nancy a favor for helping Big Guy ram Obamacare up your butts (I heard she declined the offer of the first born). So, since Lady M is still laying low, and I have a lot of time on my hands – we’ve all seen how dangerous that can be - Toes sent me over to Capital File Magazine’s headquarters to work on their cover shoot.
I think it’s some of my best work yet. What do you think?
Before:
Those craters remind me of something. Oh yeah, Mars.
After:
I can only admit to adding the “highlights,” but that’s a pretty good “Capital Fill” if I do say so myself.
You will find this hard to believe, but our sweet Nancy isn’t really as sweet as you might think. There have been times where she has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive. She and Big Guy could have been separated at birth, aside from the race, gender and age issues. Although we’ve never really seen his birth certificate. Anyway, they get along really well together, as long as he does what she says. Just like with Lady M.
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Is that what is called "a complete makeover", or is it "a complete do-over"? I don't see a single facial feature that hasn't been photoshopped or air-brushed.
ReplyDeleteYou have out-done yourself on that one. I would have bet good money it wasn't even possible.
OMG - is Nance letting the three year old line her lips again, silly Nancy? So fond of the children, every one.
ReplyDeleteYou are a genius, MOTUS, because by the (real) looks of the Speaker, I would say she has been dead about six months and they resurrect the corpse for speaking engagments. Kind of like "Night of the Living Dead", only it is just now May.
"sniff"
With all her money, you would think she would look better at 70. My mother, 73 on Saturday, looks a decade or more younger than this sow. She has smoked menthol cigarettes a pack a day since 1950, lives on peanut butter toast and hard boiled eggs, and does not excercise because she says it is bad for you: makes you tired. She has never had an "enhancement", takes no pills, has no health problems except orneriness, and she looks ten times better than this ugly malevalent skank who occupies the third seat from the presidency!
So there, Nancy. Your inner hideousness is on display every time you show your face!!
Oh, Bettyann, that was beautiful. Here's to your mom and 70yr olds like her everywhere! Thanks for the snapshot, made me smile. Puts Nanny to shame, altogether!
ReplyDeleteThe extra pounds that us seniors put on are a wonderful way to avoid the Nancy-look of a over -cooked chicken. Brown hair and wrinkles do not go together; dying one's hair does not make one look younger.
ReplyDeleteSanFrancisco is a wonderful city to visit..Fisherman's Wharf, the artsy stuff, the ice-cream-colored homes. We should all visit SF before it slips into the ocean and Arizona becomes beach-front property.
The politico in SF who wants to boycott all things Arizona has opened the door for something really bad....Arizona has a pact with California to share the water from the Colorado River. I wonder if their boycott also includes breaking that water privlege?
It's clear to me that as long as the editors of Capitol File have faces Nancy will have a place to sit.
ReplyDeleteLady Gray:
ReplyDeleteIf you promise not to tell anyone, because it is classified, it’s what we call a “trans-holographic fully restructured clone”. The techs just say “machine grooming”.
bettyann:
Are you sure you’re talking about your mom? Usually daughters have a lot in common with their moms, and I would’ve bet money that, if you smoked, you’d smoke Lucky Strikes.
Anon1:
I think bettyann’s mom sounds really cool too. I wonder if she has a Harley?
srdem,
I went to San Fran once. It was a lot of fun, except for the mimes. They used to like to stand in front of me and mime to themselves. Sort of like Big Guy in front of TOTUS.
Gerard,
I would venture to guess that Fancy Nancy is not the first to find comfortable seating at the Capital File.
Laura Bush also has a retouched photo on her book cover....::crickets::
ReplyDelete"If you promise not to tell anyone, because it is classified, it’s what we call a “trans-holographic fully restructured clone”. The techs just say “machine grooming”"
ReplyDeleteI have GOT to get me one of THOSE!!!
That's Patricia Heaton, not Fancy Nancy. Betty Ann, maybe the same "artist" is drawing Fancy's lips and Shill's brows?
ReplyDeleteBetty Ann's mom does sound like a treasure (apples/trees). Let me just say once again that though I miss my dad, I'm glad he didn't live to see Fancy and the current crew in power.
Janice:
ReplyDeleteDon’t we all Janice, don’t we all.
Moright:
You caught me. I did have Patricia Heaton on my hard drive and that was the cyber-dna for the clone… Are you a forensic CSI?
I didn't know Sarah Michelle Gellar was Speaker of the House.
ReplyDeleteMOTUS, you made Stretch the mannequin
ReplyDeletecome to life with your expert lens and photoshopping. For once, she looks human.
Well, for one thing her chin is too short. I'm sure it was the only way you could get rid of the jowls but it does look a little strange...as if the lower 1/3 of her face belongs to someone else. Technically I suppose it does! Not really a criticism...I know this was an almost impossible task.
ReplyDeleteMOTUS, are you sure you meant "clone" and not "crone"?
For some reason when I look at Nancy's pic, I think of fairy tales. As in Snow White's step mother and her famous mirror. (No relation to our beloved MOTUS I'm sure.)
ReplyDeleteIf Nancy ever offers you an apple, just say no thanks.
Anon2:
ReplyDeleteSorry I missed you last time, we must have passed in the ether. I don’t know about Laura Bush’s book cover, but I can tell you she “kept it real” and didn’t ask for much from me when she was FLOTUS. Former FLOTAE get lifetime Secret Service protection, but there is only one of me, so she’s got to use private sector mirrors. They don’t have my classified NASA and DOD capabilities. Then again she doesn’t really need them. (Nor did she ever cram Healthcare up our butts.)
Anon3:
That’s not Buffy, though I did use some of her features in the hologram. Big White and the halls of Congress are totally off-limits to all current and former vampire slayers.
Anon4:
Thanks sweetie. it took a lot out of me. I guess you’re right, it must have turned out ok because I got a call from a Hollywood producer charged with finding the technical director for a sequel to “Re-Animator.” They want ME!
Madame
I tried to stretch the jowls back, but they piled up and made her look like the hunchback of ND. I finally had to scrap her whole face and re-image from montage of celebrity faces on my hard drive.
The technical term is “clone” but, so far, I have only used it with “crones” so you have a point.
Portia:
Luckily, my ethics standards prohibit me from accepting gifts of any value from anyone. My self defense circuits prohibit me from accepting anything from anybody who works for the government.
That famous mirror was my great-grand mother. Mrs. P asked about her once before too. Someday I will tell you what happened to her after the movie ended. Maybe.
They're getting very sophisticated in that face-transplant technology, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteAnyone else see Katie Couric in the picture? Like Mother, like daughter; or is it a ferociously creepy case of two bodies, one soul?
ReplyDelete