Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Where Do I Sign Up for the Diaspora?

October 20, 2010. National Arts and Humanities Youth Program Awards, East Room of the White House in Washington.  Part 223 of our on-going mission to showcase every underprivileged youth organization in the greater Washington D.C. area:

Today’s event celebrated – well, I’m not really sure. Butt here, see for yourself; here’s Lady M and a star-filled audience enjoying the performance of a young dancer from Transforming the Lives of High Risk Youth: Training in the Arts & Culture of the African Diaspora Artists Collective, Inc. No, really, I didn’t make that up:

arts and culture of the african diaspora artists collective, Inc

I dunno. He looks like he might be auditioning for a part in our Zombie Get Out the Vote Movement. If so, he’s probably a “shoe-in.”

Butt, let’s talk about the dress we chose for the occasion. It’s a lovely coral-rose drapey-sheathy thingy.


Above is how our lovely coral Calvin Klein looked in May, with an inch of arm room and, uh, how can I put this? Boobies missing in action.

Below is how it looked on Lady M today: We’ve managed to fill out both our guns and roses.  It looks like we could use a couple of formal darts, instead of winging it with the wrinkly-stretchy fabric.

hmmm, funny wrinkles

Honestly, if I never see the words “viscose jersey” in connection with Lady M’s wardrobe again it will be too soon.

tight sleeves loose midrift

Drapey-clingy alert! Those are not supposed to be there!


Please, can we get Congress to outlaw “viscose” and “jersey” at least for the next couple of years? Or at least require manufacturers to include a can of Static Guard with each garment that is made out of this non-spandex friendly fabric?.

 static guardStatic Guard: Don’t Leave Home Without It

And I don’t even want to hear about the pink Cinderella slippers again, OK? I’m getting a migraine.