Sunday, August 15, 2010

Your Ad Here

Right up front I want to thank Big Fur Hat at iOwnTheWorld and The Radio Patriot for giving my fledgling capitalist pig venture (working name: Broadside Ads; working motto: “we stand behind our messages”) a big, needed boost.
As you all know, I recently launched my capitalist pig empire with the opening of my way cool MOTUS Boutique. If you are still waiting for your official MOTUS coffee/tea mugs, “tea-shirts”, tank tops, tote bags, mice pads or skate boards, I soooo apologize for the delay. Demand has been soooo great for these future collector’s items that we just can’t keep the shelves stocked. I recently appointed Little Mo to Chief Logistics Officer, and he’s already improving our fulfillment process. So you should see speedier deliveries beginning today.
If you just can’t wait for the UPS “Brown Shirts” to deliver you goodies, and are in the DC area, you can come to my beautiful shop  and get a cash & carry discount! My shop is located on the second floor in Big White’s West Wing, in Lady M’s Dressing Room, way in the back of her closet, right next to Little Mo’s desk in my secret sanctuary bunker. You can’t miss it.
Big White: You Are HereMOTUS boutique locator copy 
Big White: I Am Here
MOTUS boutique locato-2r
motus boutique base copy
 White House West Wing Gift Shop: MOTUS Boutique, of course you’ll need a security pass

Butt I seem to have gotten a bit OT. Today I am proud to announce my new capitalist pig advertising venture. Yes, Lady M and I have formed a joint venture to seize the moment, as we entrepreneurs like to say, and capitalize on her fame as Maxim’s 93rd Hottest Chick on the Planet. No, seriously...this planet, Earth.
I know it may sound funny for the world’s most historic FLOTUS to be getting into something as crass as advertising, butt our poll numbers have us falling “behind” Jimmy Carter and even our former friends in the formerly supportive media are giving it to us in the keister. So MO and I need a little “cushion” (me more then her) to soften the landing.
I had almost forgotten the Maxim Mag historic FLOTUS first (we have so many you know), until Big Fur Hat reminded me with his post: Question: Which of these 3 made Maxim’s hottest woman on the planet list.” 
your message here I Hate Spanish Tarts. French Ones Too. (l to r, Princess Letizia, Carla Bruni, Our Lady of Fat Kids’ Behinds)
That triggered a hard drive auto-search, which produced my archived advertising plan. I then fired off some samples to my secret ring of cyber collaborateurs and the response has been very positive. In fact, one of my collaborateurs, BigFurHat himself gave my fledgling venture a needed boost today in his “Enterprising Blogger” post. Then, I got another boost from The Radio Patriot who says I’m a brilliant wit.
“Enterprising Blogger.” “Brilliant wit.” I like that. I just hope MO doesn’t wise up to this before I get her to sign the joint venture agreement.
And Big Fur Hat’s small people had lots of other great marketing ideas, stuff I could put on MO’s keister for when I don’t have any paying clients. You know, like those un-leased roadside billboards, only bigger.
Have a look and see what you think. I do have one paying client signed up, butt that won’t produce any revenue until 2011.
your message here copy
Does the Spanish Eye Candy Make My Billboard Look Small?

your message-2 copy

First Paying Client: You scratch my back...Well, you know how it goes

Butt I see there are some out there who are doubting that this little troika ever actually got together. To that I say: “Does it really matter?” Take a clue from Mad Men: it’s all image, smoke and mirrors (that’s where I come in) anyway.