We’re here on the Rock! Lady M, the Wee Wons and I got here ahead of Big Guy on Air Force Won-2. He just landed on Air Force Won, then took Marine Chopper Won across Vineyard Sound, then by motorcade to our
spectacular adequate digs here in Blue Heron Farm. Bo, Little Mo, ValJar and a slew of smaller staff people we’ll be needing “for a whole lot of stuff” came over with big Guy.
The first thing Big Guy did was ditch the bespoke jacket and tie. When he does that, you know he’s on vacation. Either that, or stumping in flyover country.
Deputy press secretary, and former Geico news man, Bill Burton said “Just like a lot of American people, the president is taking a little time with his family to recharge his batteries.” Strange, since he just visited two battery factories in the past few weeks. You would have thought they might have comped him a few.
But I checked, and Big Guy’s batteries are nearly depleted. With poll numbers further under water than the leaky BP oil well, BO rammed in a grueling 3 day marathon sprint filled with fundraisers and speech-reading in Wisconsin, California, Washington, Ohio and Florida.
Most of Big Guy’s poll numbers have been sliding down for months now, so when I spotted a number that went up, I thought he’d be thrilled. Unfortunately it was the one about how many people in America think he’s a Mooselim. Apparently the answer is one in four. As the pollsters say, “that’s not a good metric.”
I tried to cheer him up though by pointing out how silly all these polls are any way. For example, only 77% of Americans believe that Obama was born in the US.
And besides, what difference does it make where you were born? Or what faith you adhere to? Or whether or not you actually wrote your own autobiography?
So, we were a little late getting out of the Big White because Big Guy was putting the finishing touches on a letter he dispatched to George W. Bush, asking him to pitch in and help clean up some of the messes he left behind for the Won. We could especially use some help on the HaMasque debacle. Since Big Guy had to go on record now saying that he didn’t regret the position he took last Friday, nor the one he took on Saturday. The last thing I heard from the pollsters when they were briefing him was that while he might not regret it, there seemed to be an awful lot of “likely voters” who did. I don’t know what that means, but it’s probably not good.
Any way, my pal Dewey, who I mentioned earlier, got a scoop on what was in the letter. Here’s just a little sample:
By stepping up to the plate and taking one for the team, you will be able to help me persuade the folks out there that my fiscal/social policies are the only way out of the morass created by your failed policies. I also think we can use this occasion as a teachable moment to demonstrate definitively that representative democracy is way over rated when it comes to making history-changing decisions.
Then, blah, blah, blah, followed by a letter that Toes and the boyz drafted for 43 to sign. I think it might have been a little cheeky, but Big Guy said 43 is such a chump, he’ll just sign it. I’m not so sure. Here’s a just a teensy part of it talking about our illegal issue:
…This whole mess got out of hand because John McCain and I, who both completely backed unfettered amnesty for undocumenteds, backed down. We allowed ourselves to be cowed by the will of a pack of racists who don’t really know what’s best for either themselves, the Democratic party or this once great country.
And there is this part that Big Guy wrote himself, regarding our energy policy:
Now that President Obama has plugged that damn hole, let’s all agree that it will be much wiser and safer to abandon our pursuit of carbon based energy in this country and throw all of our resources into the development of wind, solar, green battery cell power and mice on treadmills.
I don’t think the good old boys in Texas will like that much, and that’s where W lives now. And I especially don’t think he’s going to like this part:
So, as the quality of care deteriorates in this once great country of ours, and since it’s my fault, our new national healthcare plan will henceforth be referred to as “Bush-care.”
Butt, Big Guy seemed pretty pleased with himself after sending the letter off, so that makes at least one person around here that’s happy. If you want to read the whole letter, it’s here: Hey 43, How About Grabbing a Mop?
Lady M’s in a foul mood, she didn’t even want to have her picture taken when we arrived. I think it’s her blood sugar again. So I don’t dare release any of the images stored on my hard drive. You’ll have to settle for an artist’s rendering of the happy family at Johnnie’s Cupcakes early this evening. Maybe once we’ve had dinner things will settle down. I’ll update later with photos if MO is feeling up to it.
Oh, butt here’s Big Guy and little Bo arriving. I hope there weren’t any Bo-nut incidents on any of our aircraft. Bo will be banished to the pantry if that’s the case.
They’re both prancing pretty good. That’s a good sign.
I won’t have anything else for you till tomorrow afternoon. We have a very early morning tennis match followed by a private spa treatment, that I’m not allowed to divulge. I have to go-with in order to make sure Lady M’s reflected well. Believe me, if she thinks she looks good, the following 8 days will go much better for all of us.