It’s June, so that must mean it’s time for the May edition of my world famous When Snarks Attack competition!
Once again, my super-secret nominating committee had a hard time narrowing the mountain of snarks to fit the ballot. This month, we are offering up for your consideration a baker’s dozen of the snarkiest snarks. So, without further adieu, and in alphabetical order, here are your May 2010 When Snarks Attack: 7 nominees for the coveted Golden FLOTUS:
When Snarks Attack-7 Nominees
(comments may be edited by moi)
“. . . that pin looks like something my sea cucumber vomits to keep the cleaner shrimp busy. . .”
WTH is that thing sitting on Christina Hendrick's shoulder? A dead animal? A tumor? Something the designer picked from the a trash can behind an autopsy lab? What is it?”
3. Don Rodrigo: "Big Food, Big Prints"
“Fascinating, the dynamics of the Fashionista, whether that be Michelle Antoinette herself, or Sarah Jessica Cyranose:
Half the time they look passably elegant, and the other half of the time they look like freakin' circus clowns.”
“Demi-tyrant has Buddha belly. Tyrant is twice as tall with Buddha bottom!!!!!”
“. . . It is called proctocraniology. In other words, her head is shoved so far up her ass, she can't help but make those faces.”
“I'd rather have a mammogram than wear that blue dress.”
“Gosh, MOTUS! Serving Mexican food to Mexicans...seems a bit like carrying coals to Newcastle. . .”
“If I throw a stick, will they leave?”
“And so the grim Socialists took the Happy out of Happy Meals. Their plan to eradicate all joy remains on track. . .”
“I don't know about the rest of you, but I sit up and take notice when Al Franken and Jeanene Garafolo shake their fingers at me. And then I return the favor with a helpful hand gesture of my own.”
“And The Won is beaming with excitement at the thought of sneaking plenty of cigs on the family back porch.
Ooops, given Mo-Mo's growing assets, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned a "back porch." My bad.”
“I'm hoping that it's not my fault...I usually turn my keyboard upside-down every morning and shake out any lurking trolls but, you know...a senior moment or two and I forget. Sorry”
“I just love how she always has some kind of theme going on. This time, she looks like someone Kirk would fall in love with when he beams down to a planet full of shiny blue women with tails.”
Congratulations to this month’s nominees! The polls will remain open until 11:59PM, Tuesday, June 8, or until ordered to do so by a Court of Controlling Legal Authority. As always, Chicago rules apply. So, vote early and vote often. Pander to your base and get the vote out!
May the best snark win, or at least be offered an important, but unpaid advisory position, to drop out of the running!