Sunday, May 16, 2010

Monday Morning Food Fight

What’s up with all the “celebrity” chefs flapping their jibs about Lady M’s no child’s fat behind program? Jamie Oliver has jumped on board, saying  he blamed America's food industry for making unhealthy food so available: “We'll go into any supermarket and there are 160 different kinds of cookies. I don't care how much ground up sea grass you eat or wheat germ -  as long as they are selling 160 different types of cookie what hope do you have?”


We’ve already had to watch this adorable little twit tear-up because the lunch ladies “'… don't understand me 'cause they don't know why I'm here.” 


Yes they do Jamie. They know you’re here to take the cookies off the shelf. You’re lucky all they did was make you cry.

And now, Rachael Ray  - the only lady on all of TV-land perkier than Katie Couric - is a registered lobbyist (or at least I assume her agent was smart enough to register her) railing against Big-Food. Is it too obvious of me to say “don’t bite the hand that feeds you?”  RR has more Big-Food endorsement deals than Kellogg’s has sugar coated cereals. Yet she’s yammering at Congress to give the Department of Agriculture  another $4.5 billion to “improve the healthy food options at schools.”

You have got to be kidding me. First of all, why does everyone think healthier necessarily means more expensive? Have you seen the price of Oscar Mayers lately? Besides, this is a whole lot simpler than Rache is making it sound. Big Guy likes to tell everyone – banks, insurance companies, auto companies – how to run their businesses. All he has to do is TELL Big-School what to feed the kid’s fat behinds. How much can that cost? I’m guessing (and my guess is as good as anyone’s) that it’s going to be less than a trillion dollars. And since we’re looking for ways to cut the deficit, maybe we could cut out school feedbag programs all together and just issue every mom and dad in America about 365 brown bags per kid and TELL them what they’re allowed to put in their kids lunch bag. (hint: do NOT send Jolly Ranchers, if you know what’s good for you.) Problem solved.

Any-hoo, back to Rache. That little happy faced wench who eats her way around the world is not a real nutritionist, she just plays one on Food TV. Although, I better be careful: Lady M isn’t a real nutritionist either. I wonder if that’s why both she and RR are a little on the *ahem* other side of size 0.

 image  MO cleavage

Rache and Lady M have the same stylist and gun trainer!

 image image

But little RR really put it to the big guys and gals on Capital Hill, telling them: "Find the money now and get it done or you are going to be part of sinking our ship down the line,"  Wow! That’s pretty powerful rhetoric. Why does it seem that everyone in D.C. these days is wagging their finger and talkin’ down to us? Oh that’s right – because they are.

Finger Wavers Club: image

I guess Congress loves it when celebrities come and tell them what to do. Especially the really smart ones, like Rache and Sean Penn, who mean well.

And around here, good intentions are even better than the real thing. Take, for example, Obamacare good intentions: all the cost, none of the coverage; or Stimulus good intentions: all the expenditures, none of the recovery; now we’ll have Government-Nutrition good intentions: all the subsidies, more fat behinds.

Pass me some of that EVOO – I’ve got a few palms I’d like to grease too.

Oh, and by the way; that OTHER Michelle (the imposter) has written a very un-nice article about Lady M’s  “Shed as I say, not as I gain” campaign. I’m not sure what her point is, other than trying to embarrass MO, but I thought you would appreciate a heads-up.