Sunday, December 27, 2009

When Snarks Attack: 3

Once again thanks, hugs and kisses to the millions of voters in the second–ever When Snarks Attack contest. Despite all of the holiday hubbub you all found time to vote for your favorite snark as often as you saw appropriate. Impressive.

And this Week’s Big Winner is - chiron for the comment on Happy Winter Holidays To Druids Everywhere. Congratulations! As with our previous winner, you may proudly display your “Golden FLOTUS” on your mantle, dashboard, website or anywhere else you choose.

And congratulations to all of my finalists from last week. As was the case last week, you are all winners in the progressive world. but here, in the real world, the final count shows another tuchus kicker. (Chiron: does that really signify the golden centaur, or does it stand for “Chicago Ron?” )


chiron “… the only thing with any balls …”


  1. @ 59%: chiron: ”the only thing with any balls”…

  2. @ 22%:  Annie Carmel: "...poop to pick up in Big White ...”

  3. @ 9%:  Cinderella: "...hawking non-stick cookware & skincream..."

  4. @ 7%:  Moright: "... Jimmy Carter...The Snuggie..."

  5. @ 3%: bettyann: "SELL MY HARLEY!!?...hell has not yet frozen over..."

Now here are the finalists in the “When Snarks Attack 3” contest for your thoughtful consideration and votes. Mrs. P’s snark-filled acceptance speech for winning “When Snarks Attack 1 would have been considered for inclusion as a finalist in this week’s contest, except for the fact that she violated the “pithy” requirement by about 1000 words.

Please note: WSA 3 will run for 2 weeks, closing on January 9th. Remember: Chiron  Chicago rules still apply. Just to keep it fair.


Nominees For The Week Of

December 20 - 26, 2009

(comments may be edited by moi)


1. AnnieCarmel: Hope-n-hagen: Change We Can Believe In

...maybe The Really Big Guy will take them all out and do a better job next time. Obviously something went awry in His evolutionary plan this time. He gave us some snakes in human form.

2. chiron: Happy Winter Holidays To Druids Everywhere

(This time pushing the envelope on “pithy” as well. But in the spirit of ecumenical political correctness, I’m letting it stand, un-edited)

Oy!! Hanukkah Schmonukkah! You don't toivel in kool-aid. Who vas the Mashgiach, Stevie Wonder? So...the chametz here is yo-yo's and Colt45? I'm farklempt. In da blue room no less. And dat Michelle...meshuginah! No balebosteh there. So tell her why don't you its mishigas to make Latkes from what? Tatter Tots and Collard Greens? Drek! And, Oy vay iz mir, Twinkies do not substitute for Challah. So ver vas da brisket at least? Nu gedempte fleisch? Just BBQ pork ribs and fried clams? I don't vant to kvetch but a poison could go hungry. And no Menorah? No, no, no, six glow sticks, two flashlights and a lava lamp taped together is just not vight. And the nebbish himself comes out vrom da office to play a shtick of a hava nagila on ringtone from da Blackberry followed by an Adhan. No really. I'm famisht. Maybe next year. At least the babkes in da toilets vas nice.Vas dat Lieberman polishing shoes?


3. bettyann: Silver belts, Silver Belts …

  I'm burning all my cardigans. Right now.

4. CricketGal: Digging Our Way To Prosperity

Looks like TheOne handles an ax just about the way he threw a baseball at the ballgame -- just like a girlyboy!
Look at that photo! He's in dress shoes, black socks and dress slacks, squatting down to chop down with the ax..... and he's wearing GLOVES! Like one or four dainty little chops would cause blisters on his pearly hands!


5. bettyann: It Runs In The Family

Say, is it just me, or does that ass belong on a linebacker? Watchout Rahmbo, for "Feats of Strength", my money's on the Wookie.

Ok, so cast your votes and make this the best start of a new year for one worthy nominee and ruin the year for all the others. Remember, this time your friends and enemies have two full weeks to vote!