You’ve seen the hype and the promos: Iron Chef White House! Staring Lady M!!! Finally, a battle we can win. White House Executive Chef Cristeta Comerford will be teamed up with Bobby Flay, and they will take on Iron Chefs Mario Batali and Emeril Lagasse on the historic FoodTV battle. There will be blood.
It’s going to be anti-climactic though, since we already know who’s going to win. Big Guy and MO finally learned, after coming away from both of our Copenhagen trips empty-handed: we don’t go anywhere from now on without the fix being in.
Our friends in the supportive media would have you believe that this is all about our organic garden and our passion for healthy eating (and I can assure you that MO is a very passionate eater). But come on guys - If that was what it was all about, do you really think Food TV would be our chosen venue? I mean really - look at who fronts for them:
Nice belt Rachael!
English Muffins
wearing even a very large zebra will not make your butt look small
Nicely done! Contrast is good.
Guys who think pork fat rules:
Do any of these icons of food fashion strike you as poster children for healthy eating?
No, there’s much more going on here. MO and BO have taken a page from the Clinton administration and are starting to line up gigs for the after-the-show-show. This is all about future endorsements, people.
Since this is one battle that we do not intend to lose, Big Guy called together the joint chiefs of staff, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, Bruno and Rahmbo to provide an assessment of our war plan before deploying our troops to the battle ground in Kitchen Stadium. He called a press conference to announce that he will accept the team’s recommendations without question and deploy without delay. Apparently there are some big endorsements riding on a win.
He wrapped up the presser by reading the following statement: “Let me be clear: our response will be targeted and robust. We will defeat our adversaries with extraordinary dispatch and secure a historic victory for the American people.”
Then he added that we would do so while simultaneously reducing our carbon footprint, and using only fully sustainable ingredients from the garden. Now you see why we had to rig this thing.
- Lady M in her organic garden, doing her impression of a peacock
Aside from getting her own FoodTV network show – which is a no-brainer – we’re also lining up some future sponsors for MO. I can’t name names of course, but I think you’ll be able to identify one of our future sponsors if you watch the show.
Before the deal with C---s was inked…
After we inked it…
Big Guy will get a piece of the endorsement pie too!
And there will be others…
Get your own historic BBQ apron
Happy New Year people! Our recession is now officially over! So go buy yourself an apron and get back to scanning Monster.com and CareerBuilders.com to end yours. Now that food is fashionable again, I’m sure there will be lots of job openings for short order cooks at Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.
Posts
Crocs have all the ugliness of Big MO's normal footwear for a fraction of the cost. Is there any chance of the Obamas making a deal with Snuggies?
ReplyDeleteCROCKS!!!!
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahah!
Not the only crocs in the House!
ReplyDeleteMotus, I see you worked some of your magic in the pic with Paula and MeShill; Paula seems to have lost a chin and MeShill is looking suspiciously svelte...and we know that's not for real.
ReplyDeleteC'mon. Paula should not wear anything color co-ordinated with her hair. With her five jowls and 17 chins, wearing that bulky, non belted sable makes her look like a hippo in drag.
ReplyDeleteYou judge:
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/russ-hot-stuff-13-dancing-darley-hippo/3999815989/?icid=VIDURVENT03
Bet you thought I was going to post this one, huh! LMAO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZj5Q4dOMgg
Good Morning MOTUS!
ReplyDeleteI have not been able to keep up so far this New Year due to the stream of friends and family, though I did finally get my husband to help, reminding him that no man has ever been divorced while washing dishes.
I can't help staring at the photo of Mo gardening. She is certainly imitating a peacock, but why is she wearing gloves the size of the Jolly Green Giant's? and however does she keep her white sneakers so clean while gardening? and has her ladyship's clothing allowance been cut, because I could swear to having seen her in that hideous boob belt on more occasions than I would like to remember. I would like to know why she has planted fennel next to the greens, and let the broccli go to seed.
And, in a final question, does the Obama Dunking Bird actually bend over to perpetually kiss it's own reflection?
Rattle,
ReplyDeleteSnuggies - stunning idea! I bet they would look great with the ammo belt.
Fausta,
They bring them, I just reflect them.
Gerard,
Indeed. And it's beginning to smell like sauerkraut.
AnnieC
What I can do with my natural powers, others must rely on airbrushes for.
chiron,
I think actually it might be "chin" chilla. Perhaps she thought the 17 chins would blend into the 37 'chillas. (BTW, the videos were awful. Even Paula dances better.)
bettyann,
You have a husband that washes dishes, and you're complaining about snow and chickens?
Re. the fennel peacock: you're acting like she should know something about gardening. This is a photo-op for cripes sake - she's from South Chicago!